Interview Discussion With Popular Instagram Relationship Coach “Abigail Ajayi”

The first time I met this woman of substance was back then at the university. She was a professional dancer and actor on stage. Now she’s a renowned relationship coach on Instagram. She is the spokesperson and owner of “relationship talk with abilight”.

She’s married and a mother of 3 beautiful children. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mrs. Abigail Ajayi.

1. Tell us a bit about your background, school, and were you born? 

  • My name is Abigail Ajayi, I am from the western part of Nigeria. I grew up in a family of 6. I had most of my education in Nigeria. I am an alumnus of the prestigious Redeemer’s University where I studied Theatre Arts. I am presently running my Master’s program in Paris, France.

2. How was life growing up? 

  • I would say it was fun especially as the only daughter. You can imagine how it felt growing up among 3 soldiers.

Me: Laughs!!! I can imagine

3. At what age in life did you decide to become a relationship coach? 

  • Well, I didn’t decide to be a relationship coach, but experiences from my teenage and adolescent years where I saw some of my friends face relationship challenges which I had to help resolve stirred up my counseling dreams. Toward the end of the year 2017, I was led in my spirit to start the relationship talk. Taking this decision was not so easy, but as Relationship talk with Abilight is a ministry initiated by God, He made all things work seamlessly.

4. How do you cope with running a fast-growing relationship coaching platform?

  • It’s my passion and a lifestyle so there is nothing to cope. I find joy in what I do.

5. Is being a CEO a burden or a blessing or a bit of both?  

  • It’s being a blessing, never has it been a burden because I feel it’s a privilege to be a blessing to people.

6. What challenged have you experienced as a relationship coach? 

  • Ensuring I do as I preach, also coaching someone who reached out for change but refuses to change. 


7. In your opinion, what is the major problem couples face during marriage/relationship? 

  • The major problem in marriage/ relationship is lack of true love, if we love ourselves the way God has orchestrated love, marriage will work perfectly. Where love reigns, submission will be easy, where love reigns Peace reigns…
  • Secondly, I will say lack of communication. 

8. What’s the weirdest thing a follower has ever told you? 

  • Hmm, requesting to be taught how to seduce his own mother (incest) Me: What a hilarious person. I can imagine the kind of weird things you hear during your sessions online.

9. Your videos and presentation confidence are so bold, do you sometimes have the fear of the unknown? 

  • Fear of the unknown no… God has been my strength so far… 

                  Abigail and her Husband


10. You’ve been married for close to 6-7 years now if am correct. What have been the driving force to your successful marriage? 

  • GOD, I can’t over emphasis Him. He forever will remain my reference. 

11. You have featured mothers and other personalities on your platform. Which professional do you seriously look at to work with or have something coming out with? 

  • I’ll say a professional marriage counselor who has very good experience in counseling and also a psychologist to speak enormously on depression as it’s an issue a lot of young people face especially after encountering relationship challenges.

12. What are your top 3 points in your note or pad that you always reflect on a daily basis? 

  • Never considering myself as a failure. 
  • Becoming a better ME daily
  • Impacting the world in my own little way. I sincerely believe I don’t need to be the president before I can implement change… The change could be implemented from you as an individual.

13. You studied Theater arts at the university. What drove you to switch from that profession to become a relationship coach? 

  • *smiling* well I didn’t switch like you think, my career as a relationship coach is complemented by my training as a thespian. Being able to communicate with people and passing my message to the world on live tv to me is part of acting. I will also add that as a relationship coach I can streamline what I want my audience to hear at any particular time.


14. What advice would you give to those women who are depressed on not getting married in time, and those who are facing one problem or the other in their marriages? 

  • My advice to women who are depressed about not getting married in time; please don’t get tired of praying. One thing I realize in life is at times God keeps us away from danger without our knowledge and we blame Him for it.
  • Work on yourself as an individual, at times we might be our own problem. Beauty could help you get a relationship but the character keeps you in that relationship. 
  • The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him. But when you don’t even have the opportunity to serve God what’s the essence of it. So, people will tell me there are marriages working perfectly without God involved, hmmm my brother/sister it will tell with time. Am a kingdom bearer and I talk from that perspective.
  • I can’t over emphasis prayer in marriage. When there is an issue in your home, try to settle it both physically and spiritually. Often run back to your Heavenly Father to take charge and speak to His son/ daughter. He alone knows how to speak to a child. 
  • Lastly, Patience is key. In as much as it’s not an abusive relationship, be patient! 

15. Also, what advice would you give to unmotivated and non-inspired people around the world who are tired of life, especially ladies.

  • No one is useless. Life or experience is a teacher… do not get discourage even in that situation. One driving force that pushes me is a NEW day. I believe a new day brings new blessing. Always remember you ain’t useless! Often remember you are wonderfully made by the most high, So one driving force we all must have is the Holy Spirit. If you haven’t encountered Him, ensure you do today.
  • You shall make it, never retire today! Be a vision on a mission! 

16. What’s next for Abigail Ajayi? 

  • *smile* a lot but right now I just launched my new brand, LIGHT EXQUISITE FUNCTIONS: it’s an event management brand. She was born out of necessity and me exploring my creativity. You can follow me on my IG page @lightexquisitefunctions and @relationshiptalkwithabilight. 

Thank You.

We should be the one thanking you for creating time from your busy schedule.

  • Thanks so much Mr Femi Johnson. 

You welcome.

If you want to know more about Abigail Ajayi or you find yourself having issues in your relationship or marriage. Folllow Abigail @relationshiptalkwithabilight

Till next time, do have a wonderful day!!!
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7 Dismissive Reaction of Social Media on People and Users

Closeup of man on social media

If you can’t imagine your life without social media, that’s a sign that you’ve fallen a victim to the evil power of social networking. It also means that you’ve experienced one (or more) of the negative effects of social media on society.

Don’t pretend you’ve never heard of these. While social media can have a positive impact too, that doesn’t mean it’s all hearts and flowers. Unfortunately.

How Unpleasant is Social Media

Let’s explore the darker side of social media and exactly how (and why) it’s bad for you. You’ll be surprised to learn the negative effects of social media are both physical and mental. It can change your perception of the world and yourself, and not always for the better.

Don’t believe us? Then read on to find out some of the negative effects of social media. And if you recognize any of them as your own symptoms it may be time to consider stop using social media altogether.

1. Depression and Anxiety

Do you spend more than two hours per day on social media? Spending too long on social networking sites could be adversely affecting your mood. In fact, you’re more likely to report poor mental health, including symptoms of anxiety and depression.

So how to use social media without causing yourself psychological distress? If you turn to the same research (and common sense), the recommended amount of time you should spend on social networks is half an hour per day. So, as with so many things in life, it’s all about moderation- Anya Zhukova

2. Cyberbullying

Before social media, bullying was something only done face-to-face. However, now, someone can be bullied online anonymously. Today everyone knows what cyberbullying is, and most of us have seen what it can do to a person. And since screens hide our faces, you can even be a jerk on sites like Reddit without realizing it.

While social media made making friends easier, it also made it easier for predators to find victims. The anonymity that social networks provide can be used by the perpetrators to gain people’s trust and then terrorize them in front of their peers.

These online attacks often leave deep mental scars and even drive people to suicide in some cases. You’ll be surprised to find out that cyberbullying isn’t just affecting kids, but also full grown adults.

If you are being harassed online, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and that you can take steps in order to get back your dignity.

3. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is a phenomenon that was born at the same time as Facebook—and it’s one of the most common negative effects of social media. FOMO is basically a form of anxiety that you get when you’re scared of missing out on a positive experience or emotions that someone else is getting.

This fear is constantly fueled by your social media engagement. The more you use social networks, the more likely you are to see that someone is having more fun that you are right now. And that’s exactly what causes FOMO.

4. Unrealistic Expectations

This one probably comes as no surprise, but social media helps you to form unrealistic expectations of life and friendships. The networks that do it most are Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Those are the social media platforms that severely lack online authenticity.

One simple way out of this is for everyone to quit lying on social media. But in the era of Instagram celebrities and YouTubers who earn millions, that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. The Top 10 Most Popular YouTube Channels: Should You Subscribe?

5. Negative Body Image

Speaking of Instagram celebrities, if you look at the most-followed accounts on Instagram, you’ll find beautiful people wearing expensive clothes on their perfect bodies.

Today, body image is an issue for many people of both sexes. Of course, seeing those perfect in accordance with the society standards people on a daily basis makes you conscious about how different you look from those pictures. And not everyone comes to the right conclusions in this situation.

6. Unhealthy Sleep Patterns

On top of increased rates of anxiety and depression, spending too much time on social media can lead to poor sleep. Numerous studies have shown that increased use of social media has a negative effect on your sleep quality.

If you feel like your sleep patterns have become irregular and that this is affecting your productivity, try and avoid spending a significant amount of time on social media. If you still have trouble sleeping, here are some more tricks to help you to sleep peacefully.7 Simple Online Productivity Habits That Can Change Your Year

7. General Addiction

using smartphone

Social media is often described as being more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol. With the worst social media apps being Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat when it comes to addiction.

Don’t know if you’re addicted to your social networks? Think when was the last time you went a full day without checking your social media accounts? What if your favorite social networks completely disappeared tomorrow; would it make you feel empty and depressed?

If you just realized you’re addicted to social media, don’t worry, as most of us are there with you in varying degrees. And it’s not necessarily a reason to go and wipe yourself off all those social networking platforms.

However, if you think quitting is the best solution for you, we won’t stop you. In fact, one of our writers tried quitting social media once, and it was an interesting experience.

As with everything else, social media brings both good and bad things into our lives. At the end of the day, you’re the one who decides whether there’s more help or harm in it for you.

Maybe all you need is find the right site for you. Perhaps switching from Facebook to Twitter, or from Instagram to YouTube. Or maybe you’re done with all of them altogether and are ready to delete your entire social media presence for good.

If that feels a little too extreme consider doing a social media detox every once in a while instead. Because the non-nuclear option should always be your first choice.How to Do a Social Media Detox (and Why You Should Right Away)

It depends on what you benefit from social media. It can make you or break you.

If you have any additional say on this post, please feel free to drop your comments.

What Is The Cause Of Emptiness?

By: So’dini

The last time I checked
I failed,
I wept,
And I got Beasty.
Beneath my heart emptiness raided every bit of happiness in it.

My shadow told me “Your prayers won’t heal you, only if you take the bull horns, face your fears and ignore those who claim to have everything like paradise.

Social Media. The modern day Babylon, we’ve idolised her,using her beauty to oppress ourselves on her deceitful platform. Flaunting our achievements like the rest are lazy doing nothing.

Every corners of my city is flooded with depression, ill-wealth, broken marriages, lost values, Gucci snakes with deadly venom. Lifeless body by the roadside with ripped breasts & empty eye-sockets all used to plough money. 😢😢😢

I don’t trust folks,You can be a prospective prey for their new Bentley or Benz. A friend asked “how come they don’t wish me more Benz” he said.

They won’t wish you more Benz because you don’t do what they do.
Our society recent vogue is Holocaust of Pants. Steal pants or supply pants and you will be rich.

Money has taken over religion youngsters are dying faster than the oldies money made him do it
money made her do it.”

The moment Angel of Death requests for your soul, he won’t let you take any hand luggage, so why spilling innocent blood for this money.

After dancing with the Devil, eating fresh feces, stealing pants, Scheming, trading destiny like bitcoins… spent the returns on jewellery’s ,cloths, cars & show off.

Bullshitting education like everyone should follow their footprints.When it gets darker I fear for my loved ones because you & I know we’re not safe in the midst of some folks.We’re in a destructive generations but “who’ll lead the cold war like John snow…..” Those who tried in the past died with their enthusiasm.We don’t want revolution if it doesn’t involve money.

Thanks to So’dini for this deep poetry and truth. For more of this, please follow “the sonder of Babylon blog”

Bless!!!

Is This True? The Fabrication Of Social Media Inspires Depression and Anxiety

Social media was designed to make interaction a lot easier. But today, when we look closely, we are socially awkward. This is why social media causing depression and anxiety isn’t surprising.

We are gradually getting so addicted to proving ourselves to the rest of the world that we fail to realize our real self-worth. Social media is silently taking away our happiness without us realizing it.

Breaking Connection to Reality

Social media enables us to portray what we want others to think of us. That means that what other people make out of our message isn’t always similar to what we really mean.

We usually post about the good things that are happening in our lives. It could be pictures of foreign trips, a newborn child or a really happy experience.

The viewer on the other side might not take it as happily as you intended it to be. It makes them start reflecting over the negativity in their monotonous lives.

What people fail to realize is that while other people’s pictures depict happiness, they could be far from reality. No one actually knows about the number of sleepless nights as parents or the hard work you go through to save up for a trip.

Last month, I was out celebrating a friend’s anniversary. I had imagined they are a very happy couple celebrating their 6th anniversary. I had always admired the tourist locations they went to, the places they dined at, and all the romantic quotes they put on social media.

At times, I felt uncomfortable being around such happy people. This was very far from the truth. I realized this after I spent two days with them. They were both influencers on social media, with thousands of people watching them.

In reality, they had more fights than any other couple I knew. They spent their anniversary taking picture-perfect images instead of celebrating their relationship. I understood the hypocrisy of this virtual platform that very moment.

Reality is not always picture perfect. That is why most people do not post reality on social media.

Breakups

In the rush to stay connected with people from around the world, we have missed noticing the people around us. Our addiction to social media has made us distant from our loved ones, the ones who truly value us.

Lack of communication is one of the major reasons why relationships go downhill. Aversion to social media leads to most breakups today. Real relationships need effort and time. They require patience and a lot of hard work to go through phases.

It’s high time we realize that our aversion to social media is leading us to a very delusional land. It’s a land where we might have a thousand friends virtually but absolutely no one in real life. We are real human beings that crave for real human emotions at the end of the day.

Youth Narcissism Increases

A study on students showed that social media has a direct relation with increasing narcissism among teenagers. A classic example of being a narcissist is just being obsessed with one’s self.

Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram take up most of the time in a youngster’s life today. They get their sense of accomplishment from the number of likes and the response they get on social media. There’s a constant rush to prove their worth in the virtual world.

While the sense of competitiveness is good, they fail to look at the bigger picture. They don’t realize that they are ignoring their real worth. They fail to make appropriate human connections or networks during the most crucial phase of their lives.

Social media platforms certainly make their lives more meaningful and enable them to have a broader outlook. But, at the same time, social media platforms keep them away from making human connections and having real-life experiences.

Smoking, Drinking… Next Social Media

Addiction refers to compulsive behavior resulting in some severe negative effects. Addiction to anything is said to be bad, even to the best of habits. Be it just drinking water or eating vitamins.

Social media addiction is characterized by the urge to constantly check platforms to make updates or look up others. There exists a very thin line between being fond of something and being addicted to it.

Researchers claim social media addiction could be stronger than alcohol or cigarette addiction. To prove that, they hooked people to MRI machines while they spoke highly of themselves, which is what most people do on social media platforms. They noticed that it stimulated pleasure centers of the brain like good food and sex do.

The Toxic Mirror

Social media has now become a toxic mirror. It creates your virtual image. What it shows is what defines you in front of other people.

Our severe addiction to social media has blinded us to see the difference between real and virtual.

We stick to topics that are trending and we follow them blindly without questioning their reality or logic. We show our interest in topics only when we see people interested in them and not when they need attention.

That has made us overlook the importance of connection with our real-world friends.

There is much more to life beyond those blue screens. So, go out, meet people, and make real connections. Life has too much to offer. It can’t all be restricted to a small screen.

Learn to find happiness in the smallest of things. That’s the secret to unending happiness.

Photo credit: Pinterest