Why You Should Ditch Some of Your Expectations: to make room for better ones!

Ever wondered why some expectations flop? The outcome didn’t produced what we hoped, and when that happens it can discourage us from “getting our hopes up” and “going there again”. Shouldn’t expectations be like a woman with child? Conceived and happy with the news, she educates herself about what she must do to provide the best care to herself and baby internally and externally. In preparation for the baby’s birth she prepare the room, buy clothes, food, car seat etc. Then she waits with EXPECTANCY for the birth of her beautiful baby.  The level of expectation rises as the delivery date gets closer.

Yet not every pregnancy is the same – for some there’s complications, discomfort during the pregnancy and delivery stage, and for some it’s smooth sailing. However, all that is forgotten once the baby arrives. 

The point here is this – some expectations carries more weight, will require more, takes longer to acheive results, and only you can decide the level of commitment and willingness to invest, the patience to persevere, cultivating the ability to patiently wait for your harvest.

Then, on the flip side there are those expectations that we carry around, that we should ditch. Why? Because some expectations take up unnecessary space in our lives, stealing our energy and distracting our focus and fulfillment. 

In childhood we’re expected to do certain things, and behave a certain way. When those are met we’re rewarded, and when they’re not, we face the consequence.

  • Do your chores
  • Eat your veggies
  • Do your homework
  • Go to bed by…
  • Be respectful to your elders
  • Do what you’re told (my fav)

And as we moved into our teen years the list of expectations expands to fit into a certain mold…not ours necessary, but there it was

  • Improve your grades
  • Stop doing this
  • Do that
  • Get a part time job

Today as adults that cycle continues – at our place of work we’re expected to do certain things that pertains to our role, and act a certain way that’s in line with the company’s guidelines or policy.

In our personal relationships there’s always a level of expectancy – either what we place on ourselves, or what we perceive the other person is expecting…if it’s not shared.

  • I expected you to do this…have dinner ready, do the laundry, wait for my input before making a decision.
  • I expect they’ll understand, or they’re going to be pissed.
  • I expect I’ll get an earful about…
  • I’m expect to have a nice relaxing…

Make room for new expectations

Expectations are like seeds – plant, water and they grow. 

Expectations are futuristic – something to acheive by a certain timeline.

Expectations aren’t fulfilled- until the thing expected is conceived.

Expectations aren’t goals – until action is taken.

Which leads me to ask – What expectation do you have for your life and are you actively fulfilling them? PAUSE pleaseget honest with yourself.

 Or, are you still busy living your life based on the expectation of others.

My sisters, in order for us to experience any level of fulfillment we must conceive, awaken, and discover expectations that will stir fresh live into our beings, what and who we touch, and where we serve. Again, I ask you What expectation do you have for your life and are you actively fulfilling them?

To you being your better best self! 

Image Credit: Pinterest

When You’re Struggling with Anxiety & Won’t Admit It

This is a guest post from Allison Bautista

 In the post, some valuable lessons of self-love and tackling anxiety are being explained.

1. Be Honest With Yourself

Even though I care for patients struggling with their mental health needs, I felt compelled to keep silent about my own because of the existing stigmas in our culture. I crafted a mask to hide that I was not coping, and my manager was dumbfounded to hear about my anxiety, saying, “But you are doing so well! So why?”

“Why?” was a question I desperately wanted to answer, as I began experiencing panic attacks before work, which resulted in lack of sleep, emotional drain, and worsening of my mental health. I’d wake up hours before my shift with heart palpitations and a feeling of dread and doom that wouldn’t go away.

Calling a friend before and after work to vent helped curb my anxiety. It helped me understand myself more and forced me to confront my ineffective coping mechanisms and derailing mental health. It is also what encouraged me to schedule my first therapy appointment, which has brought dramatic improvements in my health, mindset, and life.

2. “Sucking It Up” Doesn’t Mean Resilience

Although I felt relieved after quitting, I was consumed by guilt and anxiety, criticizing myself that I was pathetic and couldn’t just “suck it up.” I later realized that was the catch though: I had “sucked it up” for so long that I finally exploded because I was ignoring the real issue.

How could I care for others if I could not care for myself?

While work drained me of energy, anxiety kept me from practicing self-love and care. It felt like my whole life revolved around work, but I had to keep “sucking it up” to find the energy to cook for myself or even take a shower.

Being truthful to myself about the work I am capable of and my emotions surrounding work is the most resilient action of self-love. I now think of myself as my own patient. If I wouldn’t tell my patients–or better yet, my family, friends, and loved ones–to return to something that harmed their health, then what excuse do I have for myself?

Anxiety, depression, Self Love
A woman wide awake in bed

3. Set Aside Time for What You Love

When I found the space to pursue writing and integrate it into my life with my current nursing job, I started to feel whole again. I began blocking off time for myself, such as reading before my shift or taking bubble baths after work. It helped structure my life and remind me that there are so many moments in a day to be happy.

Anything will grow if you give it the time and space, whether that’s unbearable anxiety or blossoming mental health. So find time for something that makes you feel present, happy, and brings you back to life.

How I Found Happiness When I Found God

Hey guys! Trust you having a wonderful day.

Let me ask this, the first time you experienced God, how did you feel? Well this was how I felt when I experienced Him.

I found my freedom when I found God. I learned to worry less and believe more. I learned that my faith should always be stronger than my fears. I learned that with God by my side, there’s nothing I can’t handle. Nothing I can’t overcome. I learned that the things that are meant for me will never slip away. That God will move the universe for me when the time is right. That I’ll always have limited control over my fate.

I found my peace of mind when I found God. The confidence that God has a purpose for my existence. He has a plan for me. He has a reason for my pain. He’s not trying to hurt me, he’s trying to heal me. He hasn’t forgotten about me, he’s always there watching me. He’s always sending me the answers I need. He’s always sending me the people I need and even the people he takes away are blessings in disguise.

I found love when I found God . The kind of love that calms you down and makes you accept your reality. The kind of love that makes you sleep at night because you know that you will be able to survive what life throws your way because you have God to lean on. You have a savior. A healer. A poet. A listener. A best friend. I found a love that never leaves you broken. A love that doesn’t disappoint. A love that understands your silence and hears your prayers. A love that will always be enough and will carry you when you can’t stand on your own two feet.

I found myself when I found God. I stopped fretting about the little things. I stopped wanting everything to go my way. I stopped getting too attached to temporary things. I stopped asking too many questions when things end and people leave. I stopped trying to make sense out of everything and I learned to let go. I learned to let God do his magic and enjoy the show. I found my strength when I learned that surrendering to God is the most liberating yet courageous thing you can ever do.

I found my soul when I found God. I found the light again. I found the truth. I found something greater than myself, greater than humanity, greater than this life. I found a connection I’ve been craving. I found the wisdom I couldn’t find in people. I saw a glimpse of heaven. I found something beyond any words and any emotions. I felt God’s love. I felt understood. I felt accepted. I felt loved. I felt safe.

I found my happiness when I found God. I found everything that’s been missing in my life when I found God. Everything.

Trying to Be Perfect Never Works, So Quit It Already!

If you believe it is attainable, you will seek and never find it, you will strive and never achieve it, you will think you’ve got it and then something will happen and you’ll realize you never had it to start with.

It will suck the joy from your life.

There are many of us who have experienced the crippling behavior of perfectionism.

It makes you feel like nothing you are or do is quite enough or quite right.

It leaves you constantly trying to be more, do more, achieve more, make things better and better, until one day you will be able to breathe easy knowing you are perfect, everything you have done is perfect and everything around you is perfect.

It stops you from finishing anything, or it stops you from celebrating what you do finish as you’re too busy looking at what you wish you had done better. This cripples your soul, it torments your mind, it suppresses your creativity, it limits your progress and it slows the pace at which you produce anything (personally or productivity in the workplace). It affects the outcomes you generate and it drastically impacts your enjoyment.

It will cause you to focus on things that simply don’t matter, at the expense of things that truly do matter. It will lead you to see faults, where right next to those faults complete beauty and magic exist.

It will lead you to think you are someone role modelling excellence, when in fact you are role modelling paralyzing over-analysis and complete imbalance in priorities.

It will affect your home life and your career. It will affect your self-esteem and your relationships.

It will impact your thoughts and feelings, and give rise to unnecessary tension and stress.

You will never be perfect, because perfection is not possible. 

Perfection is an illusion. Life by its very nature is imperfect, and you as a human being by your very nature are imperfect.

Additionally, your entire life from birth to death is a process of expansion – to learn and evolve. Perfection goes directly against this process. If you were perfect, and your life were perfect, then you would be done! You would not be here. You could not fulfil the very progression that is inherent in your human nature, and so what would be the point of your life?

Perfection also denies the value and uniqueness of all your imperfections, of all your quirks and development areas, of your beautiful weirdness that you know and I see, and your loved ones adore. Perfection would make you vanilla. You were born much more flavoursome and colourful than that. Your job here in life is to give full expression to every ounce of who you were born as, not to try to fit yourself to a societally defined and unattainable plastic model of “perfection”.

By all means strive for excellence. Have high standards. Face every moment of every day with the intention of being your best self, and giving your all and creating memorable outputs. That will allow you to have inner peace. That will lead you into success. But don’t confuse that with crippling perfectionism. They are completely different perspectives, and give rise to completely different life experiences.

I know all of this because I used to be a perfectionist. So, if you want to change and someone tells you that leopards can’t change their spots, tell them to keep quiet while you prove them wrong!

Do You Know Who You Are?

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?”

Can you? Did you ever know who you were to begin with? For a long time I did not. Our culture tells us what should define us; just think about the article titles on any magazine cover you’ve seen lately. If we change our body, make more money, find the one person that will complete us then we’ll be happy… or will we?

For most of my life I lived comparing myself to every person I met. I thought if I could change who I was then I’d be happy. But I was wrong. Who I am has nothing to do with the things I can change – my looks, job title, how much money I make, or my relationship status. It has everything to do with who I am.

It’s easy to become lost in the comparison game, collecting more and more things to give yourself value. Let me be the first to tell you that it won’t work. No created thing can ever make us happy or whole. Created things cannot give other created things worth or value, only their creators can do that. To know who you are, you must intimately know the one who made you. Then you can walk in wholeness.

Jesus Christ – He is the living word of God. He made us in His image. Therefore, only in Him will we know who we are. You may be thinking to yourself, ” I know all of this” or “this sounds cliche”, but hold tight because we can know things without truly grasping them.

As you embark on your week and deal with all that life is throwing your way – I want to remind you who you are. Don’t let the sweet, yet empty promises from this world romance you into old thought patterns. You are a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). When trials gets harder, know that you are more than a conqueror and empowered by the Holy spirit to win every spiritual battles (Romans 8:37). Furthermore, when the temptation to compare yourself to the next person arises, take those thoughts captive. You, my friend, are incomparable. Don’t settle to be a counterfeit version of someone else. You are God’s unique handiwork. created to fulfill you’re own part in His plan (Ephesians 2:10). Most importantly, you are loved unconditionally by God.

It’s important to go back to the basics – to the foundations of who we are every now and again. Learn who you are in Christ and be confident in that. The world will try to convince you to change to be accepted, loved, and successful, but that’s a lie. All you really need is the One who never changes. In Him, you are complete.

Stop Criticizing And Start Participating

A couple of years ago, I got myself into trouble in my walk with God. I started getting really into Christian debates. I’m not against people defending the Christian faith, but listening to these arguments consumed me. I would listen to them every day. Before I knew it, I found myself using His Word to prove people wrong, rather than becoming love through relationship with Him.

The Lord brought about an abrupt end me listening to those arguments. I was driving one day, getting riled up about something that I heard a fellow believer say, when God jumped right in the middle of the conversation I was having with myself. He told me very clearly to “Stop criticizing and start participating”.

As believers in a world that is inundated with information and opinions, it has become so easy to shift our strategy to arguing and criticizing rather than simply allowing God to transform us into the image of Christ.

We blame our pastors when we don’t feel like we are growing spiritually. Openly criticize our government leaders for not running the country the way we think it should be run. Blame sinners for not repenting and turning to Jesus, when the truth of the matter is that we have not done a very good job in showing them what Jesus is actually like. When did we allow criticism to replace love as our strongest weapon?

In case you missed this- Social Media (Podcast)

At the end of the day, our Christian walk is about fully surrendering to God and allowing His love to mold and shape us into the image of Jesus. We are to be walking, talking representations of the nature and the glory of God. First John 2: 6 states that, “Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.” Jesus did not spend His time criticizing and tearing apart the government leaders of His day. The Pharisees tried to bait Him into this tactic, and He didn’t give an inch. His simple response was, “Give to Caesar what is Ceasar’s, and give to God what is God’s” (Matthew 22:21). In other words, God is far more concerned about our heart and our surrender than He is about whether or not we are happy with the current political situation.

My heart breaks every time I’m on Facebook, and I see brothers and sisters in Christ stirring up so much anger, frustration and criticism over current political situations and leaders.

Criticizing

It does not represent our Father well when one second we are openly praising the Lord, and then in the very next breath we are criticizing elected officials. Officials who, according to God’s word, could not have authority if He did not give it to them (Romans 13:1). It does not represent our Father well when in one breath we praise Him, and in the next breath tear apart people. People who share a different opinion than us on a political topic.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3: 9-10)

The foundation of Jesus’ blueprint to effectively change the world is self-sacrifice and love, not self seeking and criticism.

His blueprint begins with repentance. It starts with laying down our own selfish motives and desires. Choosing to follow the Lord’s path no matter where it leads. Even if it leads to the cross. We need to find our way back there, church. I’ll start…

Lord, I repent, publicly in front of anyone who reads this. I am sorry for any time that I have chosen my way instead of Yours. Sorry for anytime that I have openly criticized one of Your children. I am sorry for any time that I have criticized an anointed teacher of Your word out of pride and conceit.

I am so sorry that I have turned to any of these things rather then simply surrendering and embracing the opportunities. The opportunities that You have put in front of me to love other people. I repent for giving way to fear and self-preservation. I ask You to remove any ounce of hatred within me, and replace it with your supernatural mercy and love. Empower me to live my life like Jesus.

Will you join me today and repent and turn back to the Lord? Will you choose to stop criticizing others and shift that focus? Shift that focus to participating in the journey He has placed in front of you?

Photo Credit: Pinterest

The Best Time To Plant a Tree Is 25 Years Ago. The Second Best Time Is Today

“I’m going to start soon…”
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time…”
“I need to do that…”
“I know I should be doing this…”

When I hear people saying things like this I am reminded of this quote that a well respected business man said to me some time ago: “The best time to plant a tree is 25 years ago. The second best time is today. Be a person of action; start taking steps toward the future you want today.” When I first heard this I really got it. I took action and a lot of things changed in my life due to me just taking action. I found myself starting to do the things I talked about doing for years. I began to make great progress in my life. Today, I cannot help but speak this same quote to others when I hear them saying the things that I was once saying.

Often when I say this quote to people, nothing changes. For the past year, this has been something that has troubled me. I would ask myself, “Don’t people want to grow and excel in life?” I have come to believe that the reason so few people are willing to act is because, as a people, we have allowed ourselves to become complacent with where we currently are. Life gets in the way of us moving and making progress. We are comfortable where we are, so why risk messing it up?

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus talks about the parable of the talents. The wicked servant in the parable hid the talent that was given to him by the master because he was afraid that he would not be able to make more out of it. How often do we fall into this same category? We are unwilling to step out in faith and try to do something that we want to do because it may threaten how comfortable we are. So instead we stay where we are, hiding who we could become just so we do not have to face the risk.

Today I encourage you to look at your life, see if you have been putting some things off that you know you should do; and start doing them! There is no better time than today. Plant the tree of self-disciplined in your life today. Begin to move in the direction that you know you need to go. Allow your comfort in life to be challenged. In the end, you will find that you are a person of action. Always moving toward the future you know you want, one step at a time.

Six Points To Take Charge Of Your Life

Take Charge Of Your Life

A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with- a man is what he makes of himself- Alexander Graham Bell

  • Identify your biggest problem or source of negativity in life today. In what ways are you responsible for this situation?
  • See yourself as a president of your own company. How would you act differently if you owned 100% of the shares?
  • Resolve today to stop blaming anyone else for anything and instead accept complete responsibility in every area of your life. What actions should you be taking?
  • Stop making excuses and start making progress. Imagine that your favourite excuses have no basis in fact, and act accordingly?
  • See yourself as the primary creative force in your own life. You are where you are and what you are because of your own choices and decisions. What should you change?
  • Resolve today to forgive anyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Let it go. Refuse to discuss it again. Instead, get so busy working on something that is important to you that you don’t have time to think about it again.

It is not easy abiding by these points, but it is worth the try.

Am opened to contributions and comments.

Set Your Mind On What Is Above

I don’t really have much to say today. But very precise and straight to the point.

According to uncle Paul, he says that if you and I want the good life, then we must keep our mind on good things.

Many believers want the good life, but they are passively sitting around wishing that something good would happen to them. Often, they are jealous of others who are living in victory and are resentful that their own lives are so different.

If you desire victory over your problems, if you truly want to live the resurrection life, you must have backbone and jot just wishbone! You must be active not passive. Right action begins with right thinking. Don’t be passive in your mind.

Start today choosing right thoughts.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Give Me Space To Think

Do you ever find your thoughts wandering? Moments where you try to sit with God, when you try to do your due diligence as a Christian and yet the noise and clutter around is too loud. I’ve been having this problem lately. I feel that when I do have a moment of silence to simply sit with God I can’t focus. I am too distracted.

In my defense, my life has gotten very exciting recently. I have an active blog, new things to plan, a great community around me, all of which I’m very thankful for, life feels like it’s moving forward for a moment. Of course, that shouldn’t be a reason to be distracted from my time with God. In fact you’d think that it would draw me closer. The fact is the exact opposite has happened, some months back, my relationship with God has become a sort of “pencil you in when I can” situation, instead of a fully committed daily practice. I gave excuses not to be in His presence.

I can easily see where so many people begin to put God on the back burner. I see why it becomes difficult for people with families and major responsibilities to only go to church on Sunday, or once or twice a month, or even less – once or twice a year, because it’s easy to get distracted by life’s day to day activities. However, I believe it’s truly important to remember who we are talking about here. We are talking about God, creator of the universe.

God is not like us, limited by our own abilities, God is truly capable of giving and fulfilling us with any blessing our hearts could ever long for, but God wants to be involved. God is in the business of relationships, and He will invest in you as much as you invest in Him. God’s love is abundant, his grace unfailing but when it comes to our fulfillment that falls on our shoulders. In moments like these where I feel as though I can’t hear God the way I used to, moments when am in the toilet are my only true moments of uninterrupted prayer, I need to give myself the gentle reminder to go back to my basics. The basics to any interaction, I need to go back to finding the balance in our relationship.

Basics 101:

Communicate. The first steps to any relationship is getting to know them. Talk to God, ask for those reminders of His character to show up in your life. Know what God’s voice sounds like by reading His word. Those after all, are his letters to us. Remember that conversation needs time for response. Allow for moments of silence in between your prayers and God talks, to let God speak back. Allow Him to be present.

Spend time together. Just as you spend time with the people you care about, treat God the same. Dedicate more than an hour each week. Find a spot in the morning to sit or in the evenings to meditate on the day. Find those moments of stillness to allow yourself to be grateful.

Share in the love. God loves us so much. It’s truly overwhelming when you experience it first hand, but a relationship without that returned affection of out poor, is empty. So remember to say it back.

It’s a juggling act balanced between our relationship with God, dedicated time to Him, and real life responsibilities, all of course while remaining humble and grateful to the blessings that we already have. It’s not easy by any means to keep balance, but it’s worth it because a relationship with God is worth it.

I will appreciate if you have any addition to this by commenting.

Have a blessed day!!!

Let perseverance finish its work.

Every day holds a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way. On a daily basis, in almost everything you do, you will be presented with the right way, and the easy way. Rarely do these two options have the same result. Every day your strength will be tested through your choices. Your strength is a byproduct of struggle; you must do what others don’t to achieve what others won’t; meaning, you must decide to take the right way, instead of the easy way.

The strength you have at this point in your life is a product of your willingness to struggle in the past. Your strength can be expanded and further developed through perseverance. Perseverance means to be steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. No matter how difficult the conflicts that you face may become, in order to continue to grow in strength you must preserver by making the right choice, not the easy choice! James 1:4 says, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

In order to grow and become stronger; you must never allow yourself to reach a point where you feel you have ‘arrived’ or a place where you feel that you have everything together. Don’t allow yourself to get to place where you feel that the easy choice has become acceptable for your life. You must continue to push yourself. Be okay with allowing conflict and difficulties in your life. In every season of life and in every day you must always hold the desire to grow and become stronger than the person you are right now. Always be persevering regardless of the comfort you may have to give up during the process.

Making the right choice is hardly ever the same as taking the easy way to get through a situation. Sometimes the right choice can even be draining. When I am having a difficult time pressing on and moving in the right direction, this scripture always helps to motivate me, so I wanted to share it in this post:

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Today I encourage you to persevere through whatever it is that you may be going through. Allow yourself to struggle to do the right thing; don’t just take the easy way out. In the end, you will be rewarded and you will grow stronger. Never underestimate the important of little victories in doing the right thing. No matter how big or small something may seem to be, make the right choice; it will encourage you when something big comes around to make the same right choice. I encourage you today; no matter what season of life you are in, remember to press on. Make the right choices in your life today, weigh everything you are deciding on against the Word of God. Let perseverance finish its work in you!

8 Signs You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just More Comfortable Playing Small

Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you’re incapable of going after what you want, or that you’re being held back by some other force beyond your control.

Sometimes, the biggest issue in your life is that you’re more comfortable playing small even though you know you’re capable of a lot more. Here, the telltale signs you’re underplaying your potential in a really significant way.

1. You’re vague about what you do.

It’s not that you don’t know what you do, rather, you subconsciously eschew details because you’re afraid of being judged.
When you create grey area, there’s space to go back, correct yourself, adjust yourself to someone else’s expectations and needs. But it all comes at the cost of being untrue to yourself.

2. You have a lot of internal conflict.

You’re stuck in a sort of limbo that only happens when you at once know everything you could be doing, and yet, at the same time, are attached to playing safe.

3. You see your peers capitalizing on their skills in a way you know you’re also capable of.

You recognize that there’s so much potential for you to create a life you really love and are proud of, and you know because you see others doing it all the time.
However, for some reason, you just can’t quite motivate yourself to join them yet. You’re still too filled with doubt, or you’re really attached to being a lesser version of yourself, because you imagine that person to be better liked.

4. You work yourself to the point of exhaustion.
Truly successful people don’t do this, because they know three things:
— How to manage their time.
— How to delete responsibilities.
— That they do not need to prove their importance or worth.

5. You don’t have a top 3 goal list for this year.

You’re more or less just floating, and seeing where life takes you, rather than having a set of specific, overarching goals your daily routines are moving you closer toward.

6. You don’t know your personal “tagline.”

You should be able to summarize who you are and what you do within a sentence or two. Not because you are so uncomplicated that you can be distilled down into a few words, but because true, complete clarity is absolutely essential to success.

7. You’re afraid of being “seen.”

You still carry around the fear of what other people from your past would think of your future successes, and you resist putting yourself, or your work, out there out of fear that others would disapprove.
The fear of being “seen” and standing out from others is natural and normal, but it doesn’t come up unless you already know you have something that sets you apart, something that would absolutely get people’s attention.

8. You have as much anxiety about being successful as you do failing.

For as much as you worry about potentially not succeeding, you likewise have as much anxiety about what it would mean to have everything you want.

Whether it’s the fear that you could lose it, or that other people would begin to dislike you, or that you’d simply leave your comfort zone, it’s imperative to realize that successful people grant themselves permission to be successful. They intentionally allow their lives to be good. It’s definitely an adjustment, one that deep down, you know you’re ready to make.

How To Get Motivated Doing What’s Good For You

How to get motivated doing what's good for you

You logically know what’s good for you. That’s no mystery. But what might be unclear is how to get motivated to DO what’s good for you!

Most of us know, and even tell ourselves, what’s good for us and what’s going to help us achieve our goals and live our best life. But then find ourselves doing the opposite.

We so crazy!!

What’s up with that?
Why would we seemingly avoid happiness and success, and sabotage ourselves to stay stuck?
Why would we resist the very thing that is so obviously going to be the right action we need to take?

Avoiding What’s Good for You? Struggling to Get Motivated?

Let’s start by identifying if you are in fact avoiding what’s good for you.

A quick test to know for SURE that you’re in resistance and not acting on your own intelligence, is that you find yourself saying “should” and “shouldn’t”. For example…

  • I should eat that but…I shouldn’t eat this but…I should do that but…I shouldn’t do this but…I should be XYZ but…I shouldn’t be so XYZ but…I should make this happen but…I shouldn’t be wasting my time on this but…

  • I shouldn’t eat this but…I should do that but…I shouldn’t do this but…I should be XYZ but…I shouldn’t be so XYZ but…I should make this happen but…I shouldn’t be wasting my time on this but…

If we know what’s good for us, and therefore what will lead us to achieve our goals in health, fitness, nutrition, weight, career, business, finances, relationships, lifestyle… WHY DON’T WE JUST DO IT?

5 Keys to Motivate Yourself to Do What’s Good for You

1. Knowing you’re worth it! You deserve whatever amazing result exists on the other side of your action.
2. Knowing no one is coming to save you and no one is going to do it for you. You have everything you need inside you right now to get motivated, in action and LOVING your life.
3. Knowing that avoiding what is good for you only creates long term pain. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to get REAL with yourself.
4. Knowing that any short term pain involved in doing what’s good for you is going to create x100 payback in awesome long term gain.
5. Knowing life is short and you have to choose to get busy living or get busy dying.

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Getting Sucked Into Comparing Yourself To Societies Norms

笑う女性と悩む女性

Have you ever observed people or yourself feeling taunted by social norms?

I’ve noticed the history of this for myself, spanning back to childhood, and I’ve noticed it time and time again for others I encounter in my work, where people have fallen into the hole of comparing themselves to others and comparing themselves to socially accepted norms and measures of ‘success’. Granted, it’s a pretty darn big hole, so actually it’s not that hard to fall into! When I’ve witnessed this Comparison Conundrum as I like to call it, it’s like hearing a cry echoing from deep within the hole, which sounds a bit like this:

  • Everyone else is married now, and I’m not. Something’s wrong.
  • Everyone else is buying houses now, I guess I should too.
  • I’ve got this job but it’s not really a career like other people have.
  • They’ve found their passion, I still don’t know what mine is.
  • I’m falling behind.
  • I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
  • I want to ‘switch lanes’ in life but I don’t want to go backwards. It’s too risky.
  • They are successful and did it that way; I should do it that way too.
  • They are thinner/more attractive/more fashionable/more successful/braver/stronger than me. I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough.
  • I’m not capable like them, I guess I’m just not destined to have a life like them.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This hole is so easy to fall into because often we’re invited into the hole, with our mind reinforcing that we’re falling behind via negative thoughts, supported by well meaning people telling us that we should do this and that. So of course we’d then end up in the hole when everything points that way. Our mind reinforces what we see and hear, telling us it is true and if only we could figure out what we need to be and do in order to be like everyone else, then everything would be fine, right?

Except, you’re not everyone else. You’re you. No one is like you. No one. You make your own decisions about what you need and want, and when it feels good to you. If you want a house right now, buy one. If you don’t, don’t. If you want to travel, travel. If you want a big career, have it. If you want to do volunteer work, do it. If you want to be single, be single. If you want kids, have them. If you don’t, don’t. Do what feels good to you, not what others tell you that you should feel good about. And when I say others, I primarily include in that all the advertising, all the propaganda and all the mass media messaging we see day to day that conditions us in a way that we don’t even consciously realise. Start listening to the one thing you can trust – your soul. Your soul is your true self, below any rampant negative thoughts that are leading you astray.

And you might say, “I can’t hear my soul. I don’t know what it’s telling me!”

To which I would suggest that you be still and quiet as often as possible. Listen without fear to what rises up from within you. You do know what you want and need. You do know what makes you feel good. And, let your signals guide you home.

Listening to the advice of others, proffered from their own paradigm, will never triumph over your inner knowing and divine guidance.

  • Do you compare yourself to others?
  • Do you compare your situation and status to that of others?
  • What prompts you to do that?
  • How does that make you feel?

If you’re feeling sad, alone, disconnected, lacking, not enough or plain old exhausted from it, then give it up. Chose to let it go and be open to exploring who you are and what is important and meaningful to the real you – that is, the you below any negative thoughts, any conditioning and any fear. We all have negative thoughts, we have all been conditioned and we all have fear. If you are alive, then you have experienced all of this, it is impossible not to. But now you are awake, and you have the choice to either be defined by these things, or to break free.

Being someone you are not, in an attempt to live up to social norms, means that signals will eventually intervene to help you. As Marianne Williamson says, “The universe is self organising and self correcting”. If you are not aligned to who you really are, your true self, the natural order of the world in which we live will eventually assist you to see this. Intervening signals are not always pleasant, but they are signposts to help us head in a new, better, healthier, more beneficial direction. When things in your life ‘turn to custard’, it could well be because you are not in your flow, you might have accidentally swam into someone else’s flow. So, get out of their river and get in your own

Here is my final word on this subject, and when I say it to you, know that whatever I write is really a message to myself as much as it is to you. For in saying it to you I am reminding us both:

  • NEVER compare yourself to others. EVER.
  • NEVER try to be someone else. EVER.
  • You were born extraordinary and unique.
  • Any time you compare yourself to others, trying to be something else or like someone else, you deny the beautiful individuality that you were gifted when your soul chose to come into this life.

Create your own norms in life. The norms of society have no bearing on you unless you choose them. At all times, be yourself. There is nothing more magical, perfect and beautiful than you being you.

Credit Source:  BERNADETTE LOGUE

Perform At Your Best

The moment that you begin walking, talking, and behaving in ways that are consistent with your highest ideals, your self- image improves, your self- esteem increases, and you feel happier about yourself and your world.

For example, whenever you are coplomented or praised by another person or given a prize or an award for accomplishment, your self- esteem goes up, sometimes dramatically. You feel happy about yourself. You feel that your whole life is in harmony and that you are living congruent with your highest ideals. You feel successful and valuable.

Your aim should be to deliberately and systematically create the circumstances that raise your self- esteem in everthing you do. You should live your life as of you were already the outstanding person you intend to be sometime in the future.