Why Rejection Doesn’t Scare Me Anymore

The word ‘rejection’ terrifies this generation because we assume it means that we failed or we’re not good enough. We assume it means that we can’t win the game or get what we want. We assume that it makes us look weak, bad and inadequate.

But the essence of life is change and adapting to the things we can’t control including the things that rejected us and the things we couldn’t get. It’s not a direct reflection of our own shortcomings but it’s just a natural part of life and it happens to everyone. And I mean EVERYONE.

But we never look at the other side of rejection, at the possibility that maybe we wanted something that wasn’t going to be right for us or we wanted someone who wasn’t going to treat us right. We never try to understand what rejection is trying to tell us. It’s trying to tell us that we’re knocking on the wrong door. We’re going the wrong way. We’re trying so hard for something that could cause us so much pain.

I always look back at the times I was rejected from something and how it always led me to something better. I look back at the times I thought someone was great or irreplaceable only to discover that they were not genuine or kind. Sometimes we don’t see the obvious truth because we’re fixated on the word ‘rejection’ and how we can literally do anything to avoid it, even if it means destroying ourselves and forgetting our worth. I eventually found something better and wondered why I can’t learn to embrace rejection and take it as an opportunity to grow.

You might not get the things you want but you will get the things you need. You might not get the person you love but you will end up with the person who adores you and shows you a different kind of love.

Why can’t we see the blessings in rejection? Why are we only looking for the instant gratification of the word ‘yes?’ Given that many times ‘yes’ broke our hearts too and left us with nothing.

We contradict ourselves because we keep saying that if something is meant for us, it will find us, yet we can’t seem to shake rejection off, we can’t stop it from crippling us when it comes to taking risks and loving ourselves.

Rejection is also fate telling us that some things are not meant for us and if they were, we wouldn’t have been rejected. Rejection is another word for redirection.

Rejection sucks by all means and no one likes the bitter taste of the word ‘no’ but it’s also preparing us for something bigger than what we wanted for ourselves. It teaches us that God’s plan will always be better than ours and sometimes that’s all the faith we need to get over the fear of rejection and actually learn how to embrace it.

Guest post from Rania Naim.
Originally posted on Thoughts Catalog.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Single’ Is A Status, Not An Identity

Hey guys!

Normally I don’t post on relationships but a friend of mine triggered this that made me to share this piece. Being single is not an identity nor being married. It is a status that will eventually change in the course of time.

You are single. And whether that’s because a previous relationship didn’t work out, someone left, you messed up, you haven’t found your person yet, or you’ve never been in anything serious—this is the simple truth about you—you are (gloriously) on your own.

But this is nothing to feel shame about.

Being single is something to celebrate. Because the word does not define you. Because you are in a place where your thoughts, decisions, actions, and choices directly influence and benefit you. Because you are able to pursue whatever makes you happy, excited, passionate, or wild without anything or anyone holding you back. Because you have time, and there’s no need to rush. Because finding someone to love isn’t, and shouldn’t ever be the central focus of your life.

Because when someone looks you in the eye, they don’t see your relationship status as a label of who you are. Because ‘single’ is a description—not an identity.

Sometimes it feels like the world around you is caught up in connections. You look on social media and you’re flooded with images of happy couples, of marriages, of weddings, of beautiful families with babies. You open your mailbox and there’s another invite to so-and-so’s shower. You walk down the street and watch couple after couple canoodle, hand-in-hand.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with you, if you’re the one who’s messing up every relationship you fall into, if you’re ever going to find real love.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all wondered, doubted, frowned at our reflection in the mirror. We’ve all questioned whether or not we’re the one to blame, worked on ourselves, got back out there, failed and tried and failed and tried again.

The thing is, sometimes we get so wrapped up in where we stand that we forget who and how worthy we are. We’re so focused on what our relationship status is that we forget the importance of just being, and just being who we are—an entity, all on our own.

We worry whether we’re ‘enough,’ whether we’re ‘too much,’ whether we’re on the right path. We worry about when on the timeline of our lives we’ll fall into our special someone, or if they even exist. We worry about how we look to the rest of the world, if we’re making the right decisions, if we’ve already found our person and just don’t recognize him or her.

But all that worrying does nothing but push us away from the positivity that surrounds us. If we’re so consumed with falling short, we’ll never believe we’re worthy of the love that might naturally fall into our laps. If we’re so focused on all the past relationships that have failed, we won’t appreciate a good one. If we can’t let go of our pain, we won’t make room for new people, new experiences, new chances.

The truth is, none of us have this ‘love’ thing figured out. We’re all navigating, all searching, all trying to find someone whose mess mixes with ours and love them, choose them, fight with and for them as we grow. We’re all failing around, trying to learn who we are and can be alongside someone else.

But the most important thing we must remember is that being ‘single,’ is not an identity.

Sure, you can celebrate your singleness. Sure, you can focus on yourself and keep your distance from connections if you’re simply not ready. Sure, you can be a healthy version of selfish. Sure, you can prioritize your own happiness before engaging with someone else.

But don’t allow your relationship status to define who you are and will become.

You are worth far more than a label that limits you. And who you are as a person is not defined by whether or not you’re loved, or loving someone.

As you live your life, as you work, as you chase dreams and desires as you let go of your past and begin again, as you learn to trust, as you smile and laugh and pursue what feels right—don’t forget this simple fact: Your singleness is a status, a moment in time, a description, not a definition.

You Can’t Avoid Suffering, You Just Pick What You’re Willing To Suffer For

You can’t avoid suffering. You can’t avoid pain. It’s a given and life becomes so much easier when we accept that reality.

The more you care about someone, the more you’ll hurt when they let you down. The more you’re passionate about something, the more heartbroken you will be when you lose it.

Ironically, the things that bring us joy are also the things that bring us pain. The people we love are also the people who break our hearts and that’s the essence of life.

You won’t find something you love given to you freely without an ounce of pain or suffering. The journey to happiness and love is full of suffering and pain. You won’t fall in love with someone until you’ve seen them at their worst, learned how to forgive them and accept their difficulties.

Ultimately, we’re only fooling ourselves when we say that the things we love shouldn’t make us suffer but they do. I love my job but I lose sleep at night when I mess up and I can’t forgive myself for the smallest errors because I actually care about my performance.
I’m more sensitive when I have feelings for someone and more likely to take their actions personally. I love my friends but it hurts when we don’t talk as much or lose touch because of our responsibilities.

While the level of suffering is not the same for each, it’s still suffering but to me, it’s better than suffering at a job I hate or suffering because I’m with someone I don’t adore or suffering because I have no friends. In this case, I’m picking the things and the people I want to suffer for. I’m picking who’s worth my pain. I’m choosing the lesser of two evils.

But to sit there and say you can avoid suffering is one big lie and to expect that the things you love or live for will not make you suffer is also delusional because it’s always the things we love that have the power to hurt us, whether our careers, our friends, our families or our relationships and there’s nothing you could do that would change that.

Essentially, what you should be asking yourself is who’s worth suffering for and what’s worth the pain? Essentially, life is more about picking your battles rather than avoiding them.

Because you can play it safe instead of trying and taking risks and you can try to avoid pain or heartbreak by stopping people from getting too close to hurting you but you also miss out on living your best life when you shelter yourself from the tough experiences that could change your life. You sit on the sidelines watching life pass you by, which is the worst kind of suffering in my opinion.

You suffer more when you choose not to participate in life. You suffer more when you refuse to let the pain make you grow. You suffer more when you shut people out. You suffer more when you lead a lonely and banal life.

This is a guest post.

Sometimes An Ending Can Be A Blessing In Disguise

Sometimes endings force you to find new beginnings. They force you to step up and fill that void but you end up finding a lot more about yourself. You end up finding something better for you. You end up wishing you had ended things a lot sooner or had the courage to walk away from the things and the people who no longer inspire you. Things that no longer move you.

We don’t need to mourn all endings. We don’t need to be sad just because we were taught that endings are bad. Some endings are happy or they lead to happier endings. Some endings may be hard to swallow at first but when you look past the pain, you see the wisdom and the lesson behind it, the opportunities that it brought you and the person it made you.

You find a lot more blessings in endings than you do in beginnings. Beginnings are exciting and sometimes you can overlook what you really want or how it could change your life because you’re in love with the thrill of it. You’re addicted to the idea that something new is happening in your life but the real blessings are in endings. When things end and you’re forced to look deeper into the whys and the hows. When things end and you’re confronted by a million questions that push you to find important answers.

Ironically, the hardest endings are always the ones that are best for us. The hardest endings always bring the biggest joys.

But the most beautiful part of endings is that they show you what’s meant to be yours and what’s not. It’s God’s way of taking care of you. It’s God’s way of moving you to a new direction. It’s God’s message to you and you can’t go wrong with that. His plan is better than yours.

So maybe the title is a little misleading, it’s not just ‘sometimes,’ it’s all the time. Endings are always a blessing in disguise.

Endings should be celebrated just like new beginnings. They hold so many opportunities. So much freedom. So much hope.

Maybe God Is Making You Wait Because He Wants You To Learn That There’s No Timeline For Anything In Life

Guest post by Rania Naim.

Maybe you’re not where you want to be at 20 or 30 or 40 because God is teaching you that you can’t keep living your life according to what society is expecting, or what your parents are expecting or what you are expecting. Maybe the lesson is to let go all of the expectations, let go of all the timelines and let go of the notion that at a certain age, you have to be more accomplished than others or you need to have it all together.

Maybe you’re still single because God is trying to teach you another kind of love, the kind of love that you give to your friends, your family, your job and yourself. Maybe he wants you to learn how to live without the constant reassurance and validation you need from a partner and maybe God knows that your journey is full of traveling, self-exploration and movement that getting tied to a partner is not going to be the right fit for you. Maybe he’s teaching you how to walk before you run.

Maybe he’s teaching you the same lessons over and over again because he wants you to learn the art of trying, the art of not giving up, the art of learning how to live with disappointments and how to live with setbacks because they’re always going to accompany you.

Maybe God is trying to teach you that you shouldn’t take life too seriously. Maybe the lesson is enjoying life as it is instead of putting deadlines, timelines and expiration dates. Maybe life is just ageless and timeless and we just have to accept that.

Maybe waiting is just another word for letting go. As if God is giving you a sign to let go without worrying about what will happen because he’s going to reward you with something better.

Maybe he doesn’t want you to be so obsessed with timing and how others see you, maybe he wants you to break free from all these illusions and fantasies you have for yourself and learn how to live peacefully in reality.

Or maybe he’s making you wait because the more you wait, the more you’ll appreciate what you’re going to get. The longer you wait, the longer you’ll keep what he’s going to give you. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to be an ungrateful person, he wants you to value the gifts he’s going to send you and he wants to send them to you when he knows you’re ready to take good care of them.

Maybe God wants you to realize that all these timelines were man-made by people with fixed thoughts and ideas, by people with different circumstances, by people who never even saw you and people who led different lives. Maybe God just wants you to understand that all these deadlines don’t really represent you because they weren’t made for you.

Maybe God just wants you to understand that your life will never be perfect and will never go as planned and you just have to try to love it and love him regardless.

Maybe he’s teaching you how to wait because he wants you to know that you can’t always control your life no matter how hard you try because that’s his job, not yours.

I’m Slowly Learning That I Don’t Have To Compete With Anyone Else

This is another guest post from Rania Naim.

I’m slowly learning that life and love are not a race I should be trying to win. I’m not interested in competing. I’m not even interested in winning.

I’m interested in learning, in growing and I’m interested in doing what’s best for me even if it means being out of the race. Even if it means losing every now and then because ultimately, I don’t want people to decide what ‘winning’ means for me. I don’t want my life to be determined by a finish line and I don’t want my love life to be a bunch of hearts I’m trying to break.

I’m slowly learning that it’s not really about numbers for me but more about experiences. I want to live, I don’t want to compete. I want to love for the sake of loving, I don’t want to love so I can get a few extra points or win a race I don’t want to even participate in.
I’m slowly learning that I don’t want to compete with a bunch of younger or more attractive girls. I don’t want love to be about competing and standing out and fighting over one person.
I’m slowly learning that love is a feeling and you can’t really put a score on that. You can’t really put a number on your heart and I’d rather wait for the heart that’s moved by me than compete for a stoic or a shallow heart. I’d rather lose the game altogether if this is how you find love.

I’m slowly learning that if I keep living trying to compete with others, I’m ruining my own life because someone will always have something I want. Someone will always have something I don’t have. Someone will always be more accomplished.

Someone will always be more attractive. Someone will always be better at something I’m struggling with and it’s not a fair way to live when you compare yourself to others and always fall short. It’s not a fair way to live when you feel like you have to be everything you can’t be. It’s not a fair way to live when you’re always trying to win instead of trying to be yourself, fail and learn or just accept what the universe has in store for you.

I’m slowly learning I can’t control what everyone around me is doing but I can find the best way to be myself. My own definition of success and happiness. The right way for me to live the life I want according to my own rules. The kind of love I’m looking for without having to manipulate anyone into loving me.
I’m slowly learning that not competing may get you slower results but it will get you the right ones. I’m slowly learning that my life works better when I set the rules, when I follow the pace that’s working for me, when I decide where the finish line is and when I pick my own team. The team that I want to stay with forever whether we win or lose. The team that will always be by my side.

How I Found Happiness When I Found God

Hey guys! Trust you having a wonderful day.

Let me ask this, the first time you experienced God, how did you feel? Well this was how I felt when I experienced Him.

I found my freedom when I found God. I learned to worry less and believe more. I learned that my faith should always be stronger than my fears. I learned that with God by my side, there’s nothing I can’t handle. Nothing I can’t overcome. I learned that the things that are meant for me will never slip away. That God will move the universe for me when the time is right. That I’ll always have limited control over my fate.

I found my peace of mind when I found God. The confidence that God has a purpose for my existence. He has a plan for me. He has a reason for my pain. He’s not trying to hurt me, he’s trying to heal me. He hasn’t forgotten about me, he’s always there watching me. He’s always sending me the answers I need. He’s always sending me the people I need and even the people he takes away are blessings in disguise.

I found love when I found God . The kind of love that calms you down and makes you accept your reality. The kind of love that makes you sleep at night because you know that you will be able to survive what life throws your way because you have God to lean on. You have a savior. A healer. A poet. A listener. A best friend. I found a love that never leaves you broken. A love that doesn’t disappoint. A love that understands your silence and hears your prayers. A love that will always be enough and will carry you when you can’t stand on your own two feet.

I found myself when I found God. I stopped fretting about the little things. I stopped wanting everything to go my way. I stopped getting too attached to temporary things. I stopped asking too many questions when things end and people leave. I stopped trying to make sense out of everything and I learned to let go. I learned to let God do his magic and enjoy the show. I found my strength when I learned that surrendering to God is the most liberating yet courageous thing you can ever do.

I found my soul when I found God. I found the light again. I found the truth. I found something greater than myself, greater than humanity, greater than this life. I found a connection I’ve been craving. I found the wisdom I couldn’t find in people. I saw a glimpse of heaven. I found something beyond any words and any emotions. I felt God’s love. I felt understood. I felt accepted. I felt loved. I felt safe.

I found my happiness when I found God. I found everything that’s been missing in my life when I found God. Everything.

When You Learn To Accept Your Flaws, You Thrive

When you learn to accept your flaws, you learn how to be happy with who you are now until you get to where you want to be. You don’t compare yourself to those ahead of you and feel insecure about yourself and your accomplishments.

You don’t look at accepting your flaws as complacency or lack of ambition, you look at it as compassion and self-love; knowing you’ll never be perfect, you’ll never look a certain way and you’ll never entirely love everything about yourself but that won’t stop you from embracing your flaws. Learning to love what you can’t change. Feeling good enough and knowing your worth instead of looking at yourself through the eyes of others.

When you learn to accept your flaws, you’re not susceptible to people’s judgments, words or opinions of you. No one can shame you or hold them against you. You embrace the fact that you’re human and you’re learning and you still have a long way to go.

The beauty of learning to accept your flaws is that it takes away the pressure to impress people or always trying to measure up to someone.

When you learn to accept your flaws you attract people who accept them too. You find people who don’t make you feel like you need to change who you are. You find people who appreciate the fact that you’re a little weird, a little eccentric, a little messy, a little bizarre but they love you anyway.

When you learn to accept your flaws instead of picking at them and magnifying them, you create a healthy environment for yourself, you begin to nurture yourself in all the right ways, you become stronger, more resilient and more confident and you begin to understand that even with your flaws, you’re still beautiful and even with your flaws, you’re still loved.

When you learn to accept your flaws, you learn how to fight your own battles and win and you learn how to shield yourself from unnecessary wars.

When you learn to accept your flaws, you won’t ever live questioning if you’re good enough for others as long as you feel good enough for yourself.

Source: Thoughts Catalogue

I Hope You Never Stop Believing That Your Time Is Coming

I hope you never stop believing that the hard days are going to be over. The days of confusion, anxiety and overthinking will not be the center of your universe. The days of heartbreak and pain will not be how every story ends. I hope you always remember that you were promised ease after difficulties, a rainbow after a hurricane and love after heartache.

I hope you never stop believing that one of those days, you will get it right. Whether in your career or your love life. Whether in your finances or your health. You will eventually find the resources you need to make it happen. You will eventually have the determination to fight for the things that matter to you and make them work. You will eventually realign your priorities once you learn the hard way what’s important and what’s not.

I hope you never lose hope. I hope you always find ways to restore your hope and renew your faith. I hope you understand that maybe your hope is somewhere else, maybe it’s the city you’re in that makes you feel helpless or the person you’re with but the hope for a better life should always be there. The hope for better things to come should never leave your mind. I hope you never lose faith in God or in yourself because that will give you all the power you need when your life is falling apart.

I hope you never stand in your own way. I hope you don’t let your own thoughts belittle you or your actions stop you from trying to change or improve your life. I hope you always find the courage to take big risks or end bad relationships. I hope you always find yourself daring and dreaming. I hope you never let your fears define your life. I hope you always break all the rules and the barriers you set for yourself that limited you from living your life to the fullest.

I hope you have the wisdom to wait instead of giving up. I hope you understand that you’ll never understand timing or why things are taking too long to happen or why you feel stuck all the time. I hope you know how to live with these questions until you find the answers.

I hope you pursue those answers by taking action and trial and error instead of fear and complacency. I hope you learn from your lessons but I also hope you never stop making mistakes. I hope you never forget that you’re human. I hope that instead of searching for perfection, you search for meaning. Instead of searching for stability, search for happiness.

Instead of putting timelines and deadlines to your life, put an end to your doubts and never lose hope that when your time comes, it’s going to be better than anything you had imagined for yourself. It’s going to be worth the wait.

Sometimes It’s Necessary To Be Alone With Yourself

Sometimes it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers and you want to look for them alone . It’s okay if you don’t want anyone else to disturb your voice. It’s okay if you want to take a different road and get lost by yourself instead of asking for directions to a place you don’t really want to go to.

Sometimes you just have to be by yourself when people drain you more than inspire you. When they judge you more than understand you. When they make you feel even more alone.

Sometimes it’s okay if you’ve been alone for a long time and you still want to be alone because you were never the kind of person who looks for quantity over quality or the kind of person who needs just anyone around. You’ve always looked for depth, honesty, compassion and strength. You’ve always looked for people who don’t come around very often. You’ve always been drawn to people who aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. You’ve always been moved by people you only meet once in a lifetime and that’s why you keep finding yourself alone because these are not the people who are going to make the road easier for you because they’re also on a journey to find themselves and on a mission to change the world.

Sometimes it’s okay to face your own fears and learn everything about yourself including the hard things, the things you’re not proud of, the unflattering truths that you hide from everyone. Sometimes you need to face and forgive yourself. You need to look in the mirror and say even if you can’t get one single thing right, I’ll still love you and accept you because I’m stuck with you forever.

Sometimes you just have to break your own heart when you realize that you’ve had enough and you’ve cared more and loved unconditionally and gave your heart to people who didn’t deserve and now it’s time to find yourself again. Now it’s time to take the pieces of yourself back, polish them and start over. Now it’s time to remember who you were before you invested every little part of you in someone else and lost your worth.

Sometimes it’s just okay to let yourself be who you really want to be and in order to do that you need to step away from everyone who is asking you to be someone you’re not and everyone who keeps telling you what to say or what to do and everyone who doesn’t know what you’re going through but gives you unsolicited advice.

Sometimes you need to be alone so you can find God, hear him, ask him for direction, ask him for guidance or closure, ask him forgiveness and ask him for love.

Sometimes you need to be alone with the universe so you can learn how to be your own universe when people fail to give meaning to your life because as long as you keep searching for meaning in the universe and as long as you keep searching for answers within yourself, you will surely find them.

Credit to Rania Naim.

Photo: Pinterest

You Can’t Avoid Suffering, You Just Pick What You’re Willing To Suffer For

You can’t avoid suffering. You can’t avoid pain. It’s a given and life becomes so much easier when we accept that reality.

The more you care about someone, the more you’ll hurt when they let you down. The more you’re passionate about something, the more heartbroken you will be when you lose it.
Ironically, the things that bring us joy are also the things that bring us pain. The people we love are also the people who break our hearts and that’s the essence of life.
You won’t find something you love given to you freely without an ounce of pain or suffering. The journey to happiness and love is full of suffering and pain. You won’t fall in love with someone until you’ve seen them at their worst, learned how to forgive them and accept their difficulties.

Ultimately, we’re only fooling ourselves when we say that the things we love shouldn’t make us suffer but they do. I love my job but I lose sleep at night when I mess up and I can’t forgive myself for the smallest errors because I actually care about my performance. I’m more sensitive when I have feelings for someone and more likely to take their actions personally. I love my friends but it hurts when we don’t talk as much or lose touch because of our responsibilities.

While the level of suffering is not the same for each, it’s still suffering but to me, it’s better than suffering at a job I hate or suffering because I’m with someone I don’t adore or suffering because I have no friends. In this case, I’m picking the things and the people I want to suffer for. I’m picking who’s worth my pain. I’m choosing the lesser of two evils.

But to sit there and say you can avoid suffering is one big lie and to expect that the things you love or live for will not make you suffer is also delusional because it’s always the things we love that have the power to hurt us, whether our careers, our friends, our families or our relationships and there’s nothing you could do that would change that.

Essentially, what you should be asking yourself is who’s worth suffering for and what’s worth the pain? Essentially, life is more about picking your battles rather than avoiding them.

Because you can play it safe instead of trying and taking risks and you can try to avoid pain or heartbreak by stopping people from getting too close to hurting you but you also miss out on living your best life when you shelter yourself from the tough experiences that could change your life. You sit on the sidelines watching life pass you by, which is the worst kind of suffering in my opinion.

You suffer more when you choose not to participate in life. You suffer more when you refuse to let the pain make you grow. You suffer more when you shut people out. You suffer more when you lead a lonely and banal life.

Sometimes An Ending Can Be A Blessing In Disguise

Sometimes endings force you to find new beginnings. They force you to step up and fill that void but you end up finding a lot more about yourself. You end up finding something better for you. You end up wishing you had ended things a lot sooner or had the courage to walk away from the things and the people who no longer inspire you. Things that no longer move you.

We don’t need to mourn all endings. We don’t need to be sad just because we were taught that endings are bad. Some endings are happy or they lead to happier endings. Some endings may be hard to swallow at first but when you look past the pain, you see the wisdom and the lesson behind it, the opportunities that it brought you and the person it made you.

You find a lot more blessings in endings than you do in beginnings. Beginnings are exciting and sometimes you can overlook what you really want or how it could change your life because you’re in love with the thrill of it. You’re addicted to the idea that something new is happening in your life but the real blessings are in endings. When things end and you’re forced to look deeper into the whys and the hows. When things end and you’re confronted by a million questions that push you to find important answers.
Ironically, the hardest endings are always the ones that are best for us. The hardest endings always bring the biggest joys.

But the most beautiful part of endings is that they show you what’s meant to be yours and what’s not. It’s God’s way of taking care of you. It’s God’s way of moving you to a new direction. It’s God’s message to you and you can’t go wrong with that. His plan is better than yours.

So maybe the title is a little misleading, it’s not just ‘sometimes,’ it’s all the time. Endings are always a blessing in disguise.

Endings should be celebrated just like new beginnings. They hold so many opportunities. So much freedom. So much hope.

I Hope You Know That You Always Have A Choice

I hope you know that you always have a choice.

I hope you understand that you are capable of changing your life even if the odds are against you. I hope you know that there are people out there who are willing to help you and guide you until you make it on your own. I hope you know that the kind of happiness you’re looking for is not out of reach.

I hope you still remember what happiness looks like, what it feels like and what it means to you because life has a way of making you forget and life has a way of making you believe that you don’t deserve it. I hope you still have the courage to fight for that happiness and fight for that life. I hope you don’t make settling a habit just because it’s easier. I hope you don’t make pain a permanent friend just because it’s been with you for a while. I hope you understand that pain is there to make you grow instead of making you suffer.

I hope you know that you always have a choice.

I hope you don’t give up on your love story just because all your previous stories ended in heartbreak. I hope you still believe in the kind of love that softens your heart and makes you trust again. The kind of love that brings out the depths of your emotions, the beauty of your soul and the kindness of your heart. The kind of love that doesn’t remind you of everything that’s wrong with the world. I hope you find the kind of love that restores your faith in romance.

The kind of love that stands by you and makes you feel at home.
And I hope you have the courage to leave the kind of love that poisons your heart. The kind of love that forces you to hide who you are or play games or question yourself. I hope you can still take your heart back from those who destroyed it.
I hope you know that you always have a choice.

But more than anything, I hope you never give up on yourself. Your dreams. Your happiness. Your ideas. Your feelings. Your voice. And I hope you know that they matter. Please don’t discount them. Please don’t forget them. Please don’t let your mistakes define you.

I hope you can forgive yourself. I hope you don’t forget your worth because of a few mistakes or a few people who couldn’t love you. I hope you read this and remember that you’re here to evolve. You’re here to learn. You’re not here to be perfect. You’re not here to do everything right.
I hope you know that you always have a choice.

And I hope that in the coldest of moments, you choose to show the world your warmth. And in the midst of all tragedies, you choose to show the world your faith.

And through it all, I hope you always choose yourself.

If You’re Confused, Talk To God

I discovered something recently, when you talk to people, they confuse you even more but when you talk to God, slowly but surely you begin to find your direction, you begin to feel like things are slowly making sense and somehow things just feel right again.

It’s not an overnight epiphany, it’s not a magic wand that will finally wipe away your confusion, it’s just a small step in the right direction, an idea, a small decision or just a new sense of self-worth or wisdom that makes you feel unstuck and sets you free.

Talk to God if you’re confused about someone, he will either move your heart closer or push you away. Signs will show up, you will hear something about them, you will see a side you haven’t seen before, you will slowly begin to make a decision and you will eventually figure out if that’s the right person for you.

Talk to God if you don’t understand why certain things aren’t happening or why certain blessings are delayed, somehow he will give you reassurance that your patience will pay off, that he is planning something far bigger and greater than what you had hoped for. You will understand, in time, that maybe you weren’t ready to receive what you wanted when you really wanted it, you will understand that the things you wish or pray for change over time. You grow and you realize that what you wished for a year ago is totally different than what you wish for now.

Talk to God if you’re lost. You may not find yourself or your answers right away but you will find a thread of hope, a new piece of information, a gut feeling that propels you to do something you never thought of doing or take a risk you were afraid of taking or just take a leap of faith. He will give you courage, strength and patience to at least stay grounded until you find what you’re truly looking for.

The thing is talking to God doesn’t fix everything overnight, but it gives you the tools and the resources you need to overcome the confusion, overcome the hardships and stay hopeful that better things are coming your way.
Maybe we’re always looking for a quick fix, but quick fixes don’t last, they break easily. Healing takes time. Finding what’s really right for you is a long and tumultuous journey.

Miracles take time but they happen and only God can make them happen.

And when you learn how to talk toGod, solitude becomes sweeter and somehow you feel safer because you know that there’s nothing you can’t handle. Everything will fall into place. Everything will be okay.

Things You Learn When Life Doesn’t Turn Out The Way You Wanted

We often grow up with an idea of what our life will look like when we are at a certain age, more often than not, it is a realistic image, and more often than not, life doesn’t necessarily mirror the image we had for it. At that moment, we can feel inadequate, we can feel like a failure and we can feel that we failed to create the life we want or deserve, but if we take a closer look sometimes the magic is in the journey rather than the destination, it is in the lessons we learn along the way and the changes we have to go through to become the best versions of ourselves.

My life didn’t turn out to be anything like I imagined, in fact the image I had for my life doesn’t even come close to what it is now, and even though I do have my days when I brood about it and wonder where I went wrong, I still smile when I look back at the things I learned when the pieces of the puzzle didn’t fit.

1. You Learn To Steer The Wheel In Another Direction

You know how the saying goes “If you don’t bend you will break” You will find yourself face to face with your fears and your worst nightmares, but you will have to face them, even if you don’t win, even if you fall short, even if you will never be the same person again, you will navigate through them to reach your destination. It is exactly like driving, sometimes you get lost, sometimes you take roads you don’t want to take, sometimes you drive alone at night and it can get scary, sometimes you will have to stop at a red light even though you can’t wait to go home, sometimes you will get into an accident and it may or may not be your fault, but the key will always be to keep driving and steer the wheel in another direction, whatever direction leads you back home.

2. You Will Be Forced To Look Within For Validation

If you are a people person like myself, you get your energy and your validation from those around you, you always wonder do they like me? Did I say the right thing? Are they going to speak well about me? Does my boss think I’m smart enough? Will this man stay or will he get bored and leave? You constantly expend your energy on those around you and that sometimes can be the demise of your own identity and personal growth. This may sound like a cliché but it is true, the best way to use your energy is to consume it on yourself first, and be in touch with who you are regardless of what those around you think of you. You have to embrace your flaws and shortcomings while working on them rather than seek validation from those around you. It helps when someone sees something good in us that we ceased to believe and it helps when someone picks us up when we fall, but at the end of the day, it is temporary relief. If you want long-term relief, you need to seek validation from yourself first and welcome the validation of others second, but you should always come first.

3. You Might Want To Reconnect With God

“When we have nothing left but God, we discover that God is enough.” This is one of my favorite quotes to sum up faith and life too. When things don’t go as planned, and when life gets hard, it is easy to sink in a dark hole and drown in a sea of anger, negativity and despair; also known as rock bottom. The good thing about hitting rock bottom is the fact that it allows you to reach to a higher power, ask for help, pray and seek guidance from the creator. If it takes a toll on your faith, let me assure you that you will not make it out of rock bottom easily, however if you use it as a tool to reconnect with God and strengthen your faith and the belief that God has a better plan for you and that his plans will make you happier than you ever thought you will be, you will be just fine. God sometimes gives us what we need rather than what we want, sometimes it is best not to ask questions and try to go against the ebb and flow of what God brings to our life, sometimes it is better to look up and say I know you got this, let go and keep the faith.

4.You Are Going To Lose Some People

It is a part of life, the more you know who you are and seek validation from within, the more people you are going to lose. Some people will not like it, some people will try to bring you back down, some people will hurt you, some people will walk away, some people will give up on you, and others will stab you right in the face. Only a few good ones will stick around and respect the transition, those people are the ones that are in your life to stay and will help you become your best self. I must say this is the hardest lesson, it doesn’t only require strength and self-control, it requires you to never look back, to close some doors that you so wanted to remain open. The hardest part is not letting them go, the hardest part is letting them go knowing you will not let them back in again, knowing that deep in your heart this person will cause you more damage than good and they have to go. In some cases, losing is winning.

5. It Will Make You A Better Person

Finally, when your life doesn’t turn out the way you wished for, it will humble you. It will make you a kinder person, a more sympathetic person, a wiser person, a stronger person, a less judgmental person, a deeper person, or simply it will make you human. You will learn that you can’t be perfect and you never will be, you will learn that you will fail at things you thought you were good at, you will learn that you can be hard to love sometimes, you will learn that you have bipolar tendencies, you will learn that you cannot control your surroundings and you cannot make someone change or someone love you. You will learn to accept your fate and stop trying to change it. You will learn that life will scar you, and it will hurt you but it will also surprise you-sometimes in a good way, and one day you will look back and be able to connect the dots, one day you will look back and make sense of all the confusion, one day you will surprise yourself when you look at the image you had for your life and realize that it doesn’t resonate with you anymore and it doesn’t matter.