We live in such simple times, yet finding happiness is much more complicated.
How can this be, when looking at our everyday lives, we have literally the entire world at our fingertips. We can search how many centimeters are in a mile, how to spell correctly, how to cook; heck there’s even a WikiHow tutorial on how to kiss.
Yet, we aren’t satisfied.
We throw our phones when they crash. We throw a fit when the internet’s down. We flip off the person carefully driving. We groan when the printer’s too slow. We roll our eyes when there is “nothing to eat,” because apples, milk, and cereal don’t count as food. We swerve through traffic. We don’t hold the door open. We don’t thank those who hold the door open for us. We briskly pass past the men in the red aprons that read “Salvation Army” in white stitch: we’re just trying to get our groceries and get the hell home. We snark hellish things, just to get a good laugh from a crowd of people we don’t care about.
Yet, we continue to ask ourselves, “whyme?” We desperately search for the answer to this devastating question by drowning ourselves in everything any podcast, book, or youtuber titles as self-care or self-help. We meditate, journal, list five things we’re grateful for daily, read, find new creative outlets to express ourselves, cut out any toxicity in our lives, drown ourselves in work, drink more water, eat healthier, start working out, take days to ourselves to reset. We start to shut out friends once they’ve wronged us and we declare them “toxic” because our self help book told us that’s the only way to grow. We leave our spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends and friends because a podcast said we “deserve better” which translates into not wanting to communicate because we feel a sense of entitlement. If not, then the reason is that they “no longer serve a purpose.”
Yet, after all this searching, we find ourselves still not happy. We look around us, and we’ve shut out all of our friends, our significant others, and even family. We’re frustrated and confused thinking, “I’m doing everything this book/podcast/youtuber said.”
Imagine if it wasn’t this complicated.
Well, it isn’t. We just have to look. If we focus on the microscopic things, we’ll only set our sights on the negatives. Yet there’s so much to be happy about. We get to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. We get to drink water. We sleep in a bed, under a roof. We’re able to get jobs. We can walk. We can talk. We can communicate. We can see. We can hear. We can drive. You have a phone, tablet, or computer that you can read this article on with internet. Happinesscanbe found in the simplest things, and it’s when we overlook them that we aren’t happy.
This beautiful post about positivity and happiness in our daily lives is inspired by Jaelyn Decena.
Imagine this. It has been raining for so long, but you want to take a walk and meet your friend who lives a house down. The only problem is that you live on a dirt road. There are no sidewalks or paved walking paths to be found.
So, you decide to walk on the dirt road. As you take the first few steps forward the mud is so thick you can feel the suction on your shoes as they are nearly pulled off of your feet. You’re scared of the step you just took and want to turn around, but you realize that you really want to see your friend.
You push on only to slip and go sideways. You catch yourself and learn from your mistake. Pretty soon you’re walking at a good clip, but you don’t see the stick in your way and trip over it, falling down completely.
Managing to get back up, you notice you’re covered in the filth and dirt. The mud is fresh in your mouth; it tastes disgusting. You won’t be able to wash off until later, but you wipe off as much as you can.
You start to wonder when you’ll get to your friend’s house. It didn’t seem this far away before.
You think about giving up completely, but you realize that wouldn’t be wise. You’re already part way there. You’ve chosen to follow through and if you quit now, you’ll feel cheated. Besides, you want to see your friend.
Finally, you see your friend waving from her porch. She runs forward and embraces you.
“I’ve been waiting,” she says.
Revealing Your Power
Now, what if I told you the mud was every negative thought, naysayer, or comment that was holding you back from your dreams?
And your friend was success.
And that you were carrying a super long hose that could’ve been used to wash yourself clean at any time you chose?
Would you believe me?
When I first started out, I’m not sure I would have.
Right out of college I chose to start my own freelance writing business. That was the scariest decision I’ve made to date. It’s hard and frustrating and sometimes completely baffling. It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in the doubts and negative thinking that can accompany taking a leap of faith.
But success was calling my name. She beckoned me from her porch, called me to keep coming closer, to keep pursuing her.
It’s easy to get stuck in the mud. To fall victim to the thoughts in our own mind and voices of others who doubt our ability to achieve what we are called to. It’s easy to stumble over an obstacle in our path and let it stop us. But we must forge on.
A lot of people have called me brave for starting my own business. While these things do take courage, I think the bravest people are the ones who start working on their goals and keep working to complete them. It takes grit, determination, and bravery.
I didn’t believe it at first, but I do hold the power. And with these five ways to conquer negativity, you can hold the power, too.
Say No to Negativity When Starting Your Own Business – 5 Easy Tips
1. Not Everyone Will Understand—Don’t Expect them To
There will always be well-intentioned people who will try to change your mind. Who will try to convince you to do something safer or easier.
Whether it’s friends and family or a group on Facebook, surround yourself with like-minded people who share your goals. It’s much easier to reign over doubt if you have people walking with you. Plus, it’s a great way to network and expand your circle of supporters.
4. Success is Measured in More than One Way
Don’t look at your business purely in terms of profit. While that’s the ultimate goal, there is so much you learn with a start-up. You’re gaining life skills that are invaluable. So, when someone tries to measure your success in monetary terms, know that’s not the only way to look at it.
5. View Mistakes as Lessons
When you start this journey and as you continue to walk on it, there will be times when you mess up. Instead of throwing in the hat and telling yourself you aren’t cut out for this, try to see mistakes as learning experiences. Work through the problem and try not to repeat it. Be as gritty as possible.
A Rocky Road is Well Worth It
It isn’t always easy tofollow your dreams. Sometimes they seem impossible.We make excuses:now’s not the right time, I don’t have enough money saved, I’m too old for this, I wouldn’t know where to begin.
But the truth is we can make excuses for days. There will never be a “right” time to start. But if it is something you really want, put on your boots and stick your foot into the mud. It’ll be messy, but there’s a good chance it’ll be worth it.
Our reality is directly related to our perspective.
If you complain about how much you hate your job, your relationship, the weather, the economy, your life, etc… then the Universe hears you and brings you more things to complain about- a traffic jam, unexpected bills, extra work that drains you of your vital life energy. However, if you can find one tiny thing to be grateful about, then you will receive even more to appreciate and feel gratitude for.
When you are aware of your thoughts, you can catch yourself when you are about to complain or say something negative, judgmental, or act out of a habitual state of being. As the saying goes, “Awareness is the key to freedom.” Even if you catch yourself after the fact, you can still change your perspective, because every new moment is a new opportunity to choose something different. Only you have the power to choose to shift your state of awareness.
FACT:You work at a job that requires you to do the same thing day in and day out, your boss treats you like you don’t matter at all, and you get paid $9.50 an hour.
FICTION:“I hate my job so much and it’s literally killing me. It’s so boring and I can’t stand to be here, yet here I am, working myself to the bone for barely any money. I wake up in a crappy mood every morning because I just don’t want to go to work and be around my boss, who is a complete jerk. I can’t pay all the bills this month so I’ll be eating Ramen again for dinner. Ugh, it’s never going to get any better so I’ll just grab a bottle of whisky and pass out tonight so I can wake up and do the same thing again tomorrow. I hate my life.”
If this sounds all too familiar, then it’s time for a shift. Your fictional story may seem like a rock solid reality, but in all honesty, it’s just your perspective. If you think that this ‘reality’ can’t change, then it won’t, and you will find more and more situations in your life that make you unhappy.But if you are just a little willing to be open to change, then you can immediately shift to a more positive state of being.
PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:“I am thankful that I have a job right now that at least brings in some money so that I may have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and something to eat. There are a lot of people who don’t have their basic needs met on a regular basis, so I am blessed to have what I have. I know that I can find another job that is fun and more rewarding financially if I just search the internet, send out some resumes, and talk to people. This job is just temporary, and perhaps when I leave, someone else who needs it can have it. I think Joe downstairs was looking for work and maybe he’ll get along better with the boss than I did, or maybe not, but I know it would help him out financially. There are lots of other things that I can do and get paid for, like tutoring people in math! I’m awesome at math!”
It can take a little practice to shift from a negative outlook to a more positive one, but it’s well worth the effort because you get results instantly. You start to feel lighter inside, you have more hope, and ideas just come to you all because you are in a state of gratitude. Like attracts like, so if you find one thing to be grateful for right now, you will find another, and another, and another, until your whole life transforms and is filled to the brim with joy for just living. Your perspective on life has completely changed.
And all it takes is just one tiny shift to get the positive vibes flowing.
To continue with the list I started yesterday on becoming a better person. Here is 26-40. If you missed the first list, please kindly check for my previous post to read.
26. Don’t do it just because others are doing it. Such a lame excuse.
27. Break up with whoever mistreats you. And that really means whoever ! No human being should stand for that.
28. Expect nothing for one day. Just do your best.
29. Say thank you for a hundred things daily. Thank you for the air, the water, the love of my husband, the music, the internet, the sky, the sun …
30. Tip a street musician. Actually, tip every single one you ever see for the rest of your life, even if the music is mediocre.
31. Don’t tip in restaurants if the service is bad or else what’s the point of tipping for good service?
32. Be punctual. Or better yet, be 10 minutes early.
33. Pick up the bill and surprise someone.
34. Stretch your body: legs, hips, arms, shoulders, fingers and toes. Stretch and breathe.
35. Drink loose-leaf tea. Do this twice and you won’t go back to tea bags and yes this makes you a better person!
36. Help someone with a task that comes easy to you.
37. Read another dozen books by about now.
38. Start a business . This one may take longer than a day but it doesn’t take as long as it used to. Best time to start a business is today.
39. Ignore a criticism. Just let it go once and see how it feels.
40. Ditch alcohol. It’s not as cool as you think, it ruins brain cells you’ll miss later and you’ll wish you were sober so you could remember more.
Stay tuned for the next list. I think after all this, I will get a lot of testimonies and positive results.
Orange juice comes out because it is an orange and that’s what’s inside. Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you and someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offend you, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear and so on.
The answer, as indicated by late Dr. Wayne Dyer, is because that’s what’s inside. It is one of the greatest lesson of life! The question is what comes out when life squeezes you? When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing , what comes out inside of you is a choice!
When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you have allowed to be inside through daily word meditation. Don’t forget Jesus dwells in your inside and that means all his characteristics virtues, traits such as holiness, power, humility, love, authority, courage, boldness, and wisdom now dwells on your inside. Your duty is to allow Him to live through you daily no matter the problem.
When life squeezes you, the light and glory of God will flow out because Christ is in you!
N:B: Happiness keeps you sweet, trials keep yo strong, sorrows keep you human! Failures keep you humble! And God keeps you going!
Killers of Happiness
Regretting the past
Worrying about the future
Comparing yourself to others
Unforgiveness and not letting go
Complaining on the battle front
Planning to quit
Your reaction to events
In summary of everything, look good and positive during trials and challenging times.
When is the last time you thought something, and never actually did it? If you’re like most of us, it happens almost daily. There are many things we think or want to do that we never actually do. Maybe you’re single and you pass someone you are initially attracted to and you say to yourself, “I’m going to talk to that person.” But then you just keep walking past, making excuses not to. Or maybe you are in a job and say, “I’m going to quit and start my own business,” but the fear of that keeps you from taking the next step.
Say It Out Loud
Now, in either one of these scenarios, what would happen if you told a friend of yours the exact same thing. By simply bringing another person into the discussion and speaking it out loud you most likely feel obligated to do it.
There is a great power in words. Not written words, or thought about words, but SPOKEN words. I’m not saying that there isn’t power in written words or thoughts, but there is something different and powerful about speaking the words out loud.
Psalm 33:9– “For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command.”
Joshua 6:20(Battle of Jericho)– “When the trumpets sounded, the army shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the men gave a loud shout, the wall collapsed; so everyone charged straight in, and they took the city.”
Genesis 1:3– “And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.” Throughout Genesis 1, every time God put something in existence the Bible reads, “And Godsaid,…”
Have you ever seen someone talking to themselves to get ready to do something? By simply speaking positive words to yourself, it can give you a different mentality.
Spoken Words Have Power
The scary part here is that you can just as easily have words affect you negatively. Maybe you have one of these friends: the friend who is always negative and always tells you how bad everything is when you talk to them. Wonder why things are always going poorly for them? They keep convincing themselves by speaking it out loud that things are bad. And a lot of the times it affects you as well. You have to speak positively into your own life and others.
When people say you can’t do something, you can easily combat that with YES, I CAN, or, better yet, YES, GOD CAN. It seems pretty simple, and maybe a little cheesy, but you can never have too many positive words spoken into your life.
Find those people that will speak positively to you, and make sure you are speaking positively to yourself and to anyone you speak to.
I read a quote in a friends email today that you have heard, but I am going to steal and share in this post. It read, “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
As I do with most things I related this to sports. Golf and Football come to mind when I think of sports that you have to know how to play in the rain. They only stop when there is lighting and thus there needs to be practice for how to compete in these conditions. For football, I know that teams use “wet ball” drills and make it a point to practice when it is actually raining outside. In golf, it is being prepared with the right equipment (rain gear, gloves, etc).
In both cases, it is a very different way of playing the game that you may have learned in perfect or near perfect conditions. While I don’t prefer playing in the rain, understand that sometimes it just has to be done.
God calls us to “dance in the rain” through the storms of life. Being a follower of Christ is not always Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows (random Leslie Gore reference). But just because it isn’t perfect weather, doesn’t mean that we need to run inside and not continue to play this game that we love (Following Christ). Satan wants to push you inside and have you not share the love of Jesus with others. I promise you that storms will come in your life, and there will be times that you don’t feel like being a Christ Follower. Maybe that’s right now. But in those moments, I encourage you to remember that Jesus came before us, and gave us a great road map of how to dance in the rain and make it through the storms and struggles we encounter. The more you do this the stronger you will get and you will begin to welcome the storms in your life.
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Life can be incredibly difficult. Relationships. Money. Jobs. Responsibilities. Bullies. Fears. Disease. And the list goes on. But we must remember the flipside of struggle. Joy. Hope. Laughter. Drive. Children. Travel. Smiles. And love.
I stumbled upon this video created by the compelling poet Shane Koyczan. He provides us the powerful reminder of the flipside. The positive truths about our world and the beauty that lives within it. I hope this furthers your journey toward a positive life.
How did this video make you feel? What is your favorite part of life?
Good morning guys, trust your night and weekend was great. Welcome to a week of productivity and results.
I was going through my pad and sae this old post I initially wanted to post but probably forgot. It’s a post originally written by Brianna Weist
1. Be with people you can be honest around, or don’t be around them at all.
If you trace the beginnings of the ends of any relationships you’ve been in, I guarantee it probably had something to do with someone cutting off honesty and/or communication. (The two go hand-in-hand.)
The second you cannot say to someone “I think what you’re doing is wrong,” “I’m upset with how you’re treating me,” “I’m scared and here’s why,” “I’m having doubts and these are what they are,” or “I love you but I don’t love this thing you do,” is the second it’s going to fail.
You end up expending all of your energy pretending to be someone you’re not, and it’s not helping anybody. Only ever telling people what they want to hear verbally placates them into their same old habits, their same old ways, and nothing changes. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude. This doesn’t mean to throw effective, healthy communication out the window; there’s a difference.
If you cannot be honest with someone and have your thoughts and opinions heard, be around other people who you can. They’re out there.
If you pretend for long enough, you only end up losing yourself.
2. Stop keeping things in your life because you just don’t want to go through the stress or discomfort of letting them go.
Up to and including: friends you don’t genuinely want to spend time with, on-again-off-again flings that won’t amount to anything other than your own pain, exchanges that leave you exhausted and frustrated, resentment over things you can’t change, subscriptions to magazines that make you hate yourself, social media connections that do not add anything to your day, the phone numbers of the people you always have to text first (if at all) and love for the people who will never love you back.
3. Stop ruminating on the old and start building the new.
The second a negative thought or crippling memory crops up, don’t entertain it and allow yourself to sink further down the rabbit hole of all things could-have-been and should-have-been. Analyze what about the situation makes you uncomfortable, and figure out how you can apply what you wish you would have done to your life now. Don’t just “vow” to be different, figure out how you can actively, consciously do so. If you apply it correctly, it’s the healthiest, most effective coping mechanism around.
4. Play by the “if you’re going to forget about it in a year from now, don’t waste your energy worrying about it now” rule.
If you look back on your life, you will probably realize that you have mentally divided it into segments during which you worried compulsively about the outcome of something that either worked itself out or wouldn’t matter in a relatively short period of time. Simply: if you look back, you’ll realize that no feeling was ever final, and you wasted your time concerning yourself with issues that weren’t either.
It’ll give you the perspective to work cultivating that mindset now, before you’re looking back on these years and thinking the same things.
5. Don’t allow your “no” to be the beginning of a negotiation.
You get as much respect as you demand. You teach people how to treat you. If you don’t feel that your wants or needs are being understood or respected, find a way to communicate them better, and then learn what it means for you to draw lines — even if that’s as serious as completely walking away. It’s not a matter of giving up easily, it’s a matter of knowing what you’re not going to permit.
6. There’s not one person on this planet that’s like, “yeah, this is exactly how I thought it would go.” Stop projecting a future based on what you believe in now.
The unknown is scary. So scary, in fact, that we decide things about our futures based on what we can conceive of being possible now, and the fault in this is that we get attached to an outcome that isn’t necessarily most right for us.
We tend to be surprised by what we get in place of what we thought we wanted. Even the concept of relinquishing future control just comes across as another elusive platitude, but it’s really, really important. It’s the only way to free yourself from impending suffering.
7. Learn what it means to view everything objectively, in light of what it will ultimately amount to in the bigger picture.
This whole world isn’t indebted to you, but nor is it out to get you. People aren’t usually “against” things, they’re just for themselves. People think of you far less than you worry about them doing so. Your perspective is just one of them. You are a speck in the span of infinity. Remember how small you are.
8. Don’t expect to receive that which you don’t communicate you want.
You get what you have the courage to ask for.
9. Don’t let one thing define you.
There is not one decision or day or instance that makes you who you are. You are what you repeatedly do. The only thing that isn’t normal is to pretend that you never struggle, have never suffered, never feel anything but happiness, etc. You’re supposed to ebb and flow, you shouldn’t want it any other way. It means you’re alive, you’re invested in things that matter, you made mistakes but you made an effort regardless, and you’re not emotionally or otherwise stunted, as would be the case if you didn’t feel remorse or sadness or grief.
10. Realize that the problem is always you.
Now that sounds harsh, and I imagine a slew of you will want to rise and disagree, and I get that, but to be really honest with you, that’s the problem.
Here’s the thing: you are the only thing you can control. If you are upset with a situation, you cannot force people into changing to suit your wants and needs, so you have to change what you can control: whether or not you’re removing yourself from it, asserting yourself, or changing your mindset about how you’re going to approach it.
If you aren’t doing so — the problem is you.
Feel free to share and repost on your platform. Also don’t forget to drop your comments.
If we could see souls instead of bodies, what would be beautiful?
What is the first thing people would know about you? What would you be most afraid of them seeing? Who would you impress? Who would you love?
What would you adjust as you walked past the mirror? What kind of work would you be in? What would your goals be, how would you strive to be better if what you collected in the bank or put on your body or attached next to your name on a business card no longer affected what people saw?
Would you spend your time in gyms and stores or in libraries and temples? Who would you let yourself fall in love with? What would your ‘type’ be? Tall, dark and handsome or creative, kind and self-aware?
Who would we idolize, and what? How much of our governing body would be fit to lead? Who would we make famous? Who would we celebrate?
Would we restructure our value system to prioritize the things that bring us true peace and desire, not just better than the norm? What would we do with all that money, if we weren’t spending it on decorating and changing and convincing everybody else that we are a way we really aren’t?
How would we define success? As who gathers the most shit around their souls or who is transformed the most and shines the brightest? What would it be like, if our priority was to just become lightness? What kindness and joy and healing and rawness would come of the journey there?
What would happen if we could see people not as “bad,” but as… blocked? If we could see the ways they’ve packed away their pain, or how they hold a belief that keeps them away from being kind to others? How they are unaware that those issues even exist?
What if we weren’t afraid of the ways people are different than us?
What would happen if we realized our bodies never wanted anything more than to feel connected, and acted out on nothing more than their false ideas of being separate, different, exiled, the odd one out, the almost-but-not-good-enough?
What would happen if we embraced our desire to play out and frame with our individualism, but eventually returned to the knowing that we are all just energy fields? And where would we be if we realized that we were all from the same one? What would happen if we realized we really weren’t that different at all?
The dictionary defines motivation as a reason or reasons to act in a particular way. It is a desire to accomplish something. Most times when we want to accomplish a goal we need a willingness to help us improve our habits and get results.
It is easier to become motivated about an activity when you are passionate about it. So ask yourself why you are passionate or dispassionate about an activity. One way to certainly get motivated is to find your passion in a particular activity. When you do, you can be motivated about it. You could also include others in this activity and gain the support you need to keep on going.
Here are some quick tips to help you in this mission. Just follow each one and get on the road to success;
1. HAVE A PURPOSE
What drives people to go further and further is the purpose. For you to understand better, let’s use the example of the big brands. Apple is more than a company that makes computers and cell phones, it is a company that goes against the status quo. It works every day to reinvent how people connect, rather than inventing a new iPhone feature. That’s what motivated the company to go that far.
2. KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOALS ARE
Once you discover your purpose, it’s time to set goals. The wishes you hope to achieve in 2017. Keep them very clear, written in a piece of paper or on the wall in your office is a good way to stay motivated. When you stick to your goals you will feel renewed to reach them.
3. ESTABLISH STRATEGIES, THEY WILL KEEP YOU MOTIVATED
With your stated goals, establish a way to reach them. For example, if you are looking for a salary increase, you will have to propose outstanding work within your company. This will keep you motivated because you already know which way to take.
4. VALUES AND REWARDS
Create a list of personal skills and consult it whenever you are having insecurities before any challenge. Sometimes we think we cannot do something and that’s poison for motivation. If you are where you are, it is because you have earned it. Never demerit your talent. Each time you reach one of the stated objectives get a reward. Maybe a weekend at the beach or a new car. Setting goals with rewards also works very well to stay motivated.
5. THINK POSITIVE
Lastly, do not let negative thoughts get you. When you have a positive attitude you attract good things and good people who can help you. It’s time to think about it, visualize it, write it down, share it with someone else, take actions to support your thoughts. Now just get ready and get to work. With these tips, your motivation will be incredible this year.
I learn everyday, even a victim sometimes to feel unmotivated and lazy. But whenever I think about my journey, I have to get up and do something. Like my pastor will say, even if it’s to write your goals and plans on a sheet of paper, it’s a step to whatever you want to achieve. If you a blogger and have not yet started yielding value from your platform. Don’t give up, keep moving, persistence is the key. “Rome wasn’t built in a day” To start motivating yourself can be any time to start over as long as you stay motivated.
Don’t forget write down in a piece of paper all the objectives that make your life more complete and your career more successful.