How Do You Lead A Simple Life?

We live in such simple times, yet finding happiness is much more complicated.

How can this be, when looking at our everyday lives, we have literally the entire world at our fingertips. We can search how many centimeters are in a mile, how to spell correctly, how to cook; heck there’s even a WikiHow tutorial on how to kiss.

Yet, we aren’t satisfied.

We throw our phones when they crash. We throw a fit when the internet’s down. We flip off the person carefully driving. We groan when the printer’s too slow. We roll our eyes when there is “nothing to eat,” because apples, milk, and cereal don’t count as food. We swerve through traffic. We don’t hold the door open. We don’t thank those who hold the door open for us. We briskly pass past the men in the red aprons that read “Salvation Army” in white stitch: we’re just trying to get our groceries and get the hell home. We snark hellish things, just to get a good laugh from a crowd of people we don’t care about.

Yet, we continue to ask ourselves, “why me?” We desperately search for the answer to this devastating question by drowning ourselves in everything any podcast, book, or youtuber titles as self-care or self-help. We meditate, journal, list five things we’re grateful for daily, read, find new creative outlets to express ourselves, cut out any toxicity in our lives, drown ourselves in work, drink more water, eat healthier, start working out, take days to ourselves to reset. We start to shut out friends once they’ve wronged us and we declare them “toxic” because our self help book told us that’s the only way to grow. We leave our spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends and friends because a podcast said we “deserve better” which translates into not wanting to communicate because we feel a sense of entitlement. If not, then the reason is that they “no longer serve a purpose.”

Yet, after all this searching, we find ourselves still not happy. We look around us, and we’ve shut out all of our friends, our significant others, and even family. We’re frustrated and confused thinking, “I’m doing everything this book/podcast/youtuber said.”

Imagine if it wasn’t this complicated.

Well, it isn’t. We just have to look. If we focus on the microscopic things, we’ll only set our sights on the negatives. Yet there’s so much to be happy about. We get to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. We get to drink water. We sleep in a bed, under a roof. We’re able to get jobs. We can walk. We can talk. We can communicate. We can see. We can hear. We can drive. You have a phone, tablet, or computer that you can read this article on with internet. Happiness can be found in the simplest things, and it’s when we overlook them that we aren’t happy.

This beautiful post about positivity and happiness in our daily lives is inspired by Jaelyn Decena.

Ignore Them Haters

A group of frogs were traveling through the forest when two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that there was no hope left for them.

However, the two frogs ignored their comrades and proceeded to try to jump out of the pit. However, despite their efforts, the group of frogs at the top of the pit were still saying that they should just give up as they’d never make it out.

Eventually, one of the frogs took heed of what the others were saying and he gave up, jumping even deeper to his death. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the group of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and to just die.

He ignored them, and jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, ‘Did you not hear us?’

The frog explained to them that he was deaf, and that he thought they were encouraging him the entire time.”

Lesson:

Whenever you in an environment filled with negative people, shut your ears and mind. Ignoring them is better than responding.

12 Things Everybody Need To Do In 2020

1. Pursue something. Don’t walk in the entire 365 days without having something particular in mind to achieve. Start a building project, buy a car, pay some school fees, start some job. Just do something!

2. Walk with people wiser or stronger than you. In 2020, surround yourself with people who will inspire you, who will make you feel you can do better, who will challenge you on.

3. Check your dressing or appearance. Don’t put on ‘anything’ just because it covers your nakedness. Your appearance tells a lot about you. Iron your dress neatly. Don’t wear dresses in the name of fashion or trend . Wear more decent but fitting dresses. This is the slogan: Simple but Classy.

4. Check how you talk. Before you open your mouth, be minded of who you are talking to, where you are talking, when you are talking and also know that your integrity is at stake. In every situation, choose silence over speech unless you don’t have any option.

5. Visit old people’s home to appreciate them also orphanage and children in need of special care. Don’t let them feel unwanted or neglected in the scheme of things.

6. In 2020, be more prayerful. You can’t live your life thinking things occur merely logically. There’s a Supreme Being who makes things happen, pray to him.🙏

7. In 2020, start thinking or planning towards doing more for humanity.

8. In 2020, always think Positive while being Realistic. When you see tigers praying to God, don’t join them. You can be positive that they won’t ‘chop’ you since they are praying but be realistic too that after the prayers, they’ll remain tigers and God will feed them with flesh.

9. Buy gifts for your love ones. In 2020, try and do something ‘small’ for parents . You have no idea what goes on in their minds Let them feel you are not far off

10. In 2020, Invest more, save less, spend less. Put your money into investment ventures. Buy T-bills, buy shares, buy fixed deposits, import some goods and sell, be a stock broker, etc. In fact, get more than one stream of income!

11. Many known names have gone and life goes on. . The point is, don’t work your life out. You won’t take your work with you when you die. You are not as important as you think, calm down. Take time off work, go and do medical check-up, visit your family, visit gardens or the beach and appreciate nature, etc.

12. After reading, send this message to all your groups and contacts, it may be of help to someone.

Merry Christmas and Happy new year… 🎄

Reflection

-To be rich, give.
-To succeed, serve.
-To laugh, make someone laugh.
-To prosper, be honest.
-To excel, be faithful.
-To go far, get up early.
-To change someone, change yourself.
-To be great, be disciplined,
-To be strong, pray often.
-To do a lot, speak little.
-To be fruitful, praise God.
-To live well, forgive.
-To talk well, bind anger.
-To sleep well, work hard.
-To be loved, love.
-To be a good husband, listen to her.
-To be a woman, submit yourself.
-To be respected, be polite.
-To bind satan, sanctify yourself.
-To grow in faith, meditate.

None of these has ever failed! Give it a try and see for yourself.

Have a blessed weekend!

Treat Experience As Learning a Lesson: Wisdom In Making Decisions

This is a wise lesson to us all.

As a small child , I was very selfish, always grabbing the best for myself.

Slowly, everyone left me and I had no friends. I didn’t think it was my fault and I criticized others.

But my father gave me 3 sentences to help me in life.

One day, my father cooked 2 bowls of noodles and put them on the table. One had an egg on top while the other bowl had none on top.

Then he asked me to choose a bowl of noodles.

Because eggs were hard to come by those days, I chose the bowl with egg!

I was congratulating myself on my wise choice/decision and decided to wallop the egg. To my surprise, I saw that my father’s bowl of noodles had two eggs at the bottom beneath the noodles!

With much regret, I scolded myself for being too hasty in my decision.

My father smiled and taught me to remember that what your eyes see may not be true.

He added that, If you make a habit of taking advantage of people, you will end up losing.

The next day, my father again cooked 2 bowls of noodles: one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top.

Again, he asked to choose the bowl I wanted.

This time, I felt smarter so I chose the bowl without any egg on top.

Hmmmmmm to my surprise, there was not even a single egg at the bottom of the bowl!

Again, my father smiled and said to me, My child, you must not always rely on experiences because sometimes, life can cheat you or play tricks on you.

Never be too annoyed or sad, with situations, just treat experience as learning a lesson that cannot be gotten from any textbooks.

The third day, my father again cooked 2 bowls of noodles, one bowl with an egg on top and the other with no egg on top.

He asked me to choose the bowl I wanted.

But this time, I told my father, Dad, you choose first. You are the head of the family and you contribute the most to the family.

My father was very happy and he chose for me.

He chose the bowl with one egg on top. But as I ate my bowl of noodles, to my surprise, there were two eggs at the bottom of the bowl.

My father smiled at me with love in his eyes. He said, my child, you must remember that when you think for the good of others, good things will always naturally happen to you.

I always remember these 3 sentences of my father.

As we continue on the remaining journey of 2019, think for the good of others. Don’t be selfish, Put others first and your joy will be completed. Don’t run after post, position, wealth, fame etc and bruise others to get it.

Enjoy your weekend!

Stop Worrying About How Successful Your Friends Are And Focus On Your Own Path 

This is a guest post from Holly Riordan.

Focus on your own path because you’re going to get sidetracked if you pay too much attention to the people surrounding you. You have to pour all of your energy into your own hopes and dreams, your own goals and milestones. If you’re dwelling on how successful a friend’s work came out and how you could never be that good, then you’re taking time away from your own work. You’re giving yourself a reason to procrastinate, a reason to look down on yourself, a reason to give up.

Focus on your own path because bitterness is only going to bring you down. If seeing accomplishments from other people your age only makes you upset, then why are you even bothering to keep track of their successes? To torture yourself? Or are you waiting for them to fail so you can feel better about your own life? Neither of those reasons are productive nor healthy, so stop spending so much time comparing and contrasting your journeys. Your competitor’s success is not your failure. In fact, they’re not even your competitor, so you should stop thinking of them that way. Stop assuming there’s only room for one person’s happiness.

Focus on your own path because you’re never going to know everything another person has gone through in order to reach their goals. You’re only going to get part of the story. You’re going to see their end results — but you’re not going to see all of the work it took them to reach those results. You’re not going to see the tears they cried behind closed doors. You’re not going to see the times when they got into arguments with friends and family because they were so frustrated with themselves. You’re never going to see all of the coffees they’ve drank and all of the failed work they’ve thrown out before the rest of the world could see. You’re never going to know exactly how much effort it took them to reach their dreams.

Focus on your own path because comparing yourself to the people around you is only going to discourage you. It’s only going to boost your insecurities. It’s only going to make you question your worth, your abilities, and your chances of reaching success.

Neil Gaiman, one of the most beautiful authors of our generation, has a quote about writing with your own voice instead of trying to copy the greats like Tolkien. He said: “There will always be people who are better or smarter than you. There are people who are better writers than me, who plot better than I do, but there is no one who can tell a Neil Gaiman story like I can.”

You can apply this advice to every single portion of your life. There’s no point in trying to look like someone else or act like someone else because you’re not that person. You’ll never be that person. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s encouragement to be yourself because you’re the only you that exists. And you’re more beautiful than you realize.

Image credit: Pinterest

You Are So Much More Than Your Mistakes

Regret is a funny thing. It sticks to us like honey, even after we’ve washed our hands of it. It stays on us like the scent that forever stains your collar. It always comes back like the pesky fly that won’t disappear. But is regret really this relentless? Or are we opening the door of our minds for regret to move into?

We wake up mornings regretting the day or days before. We tread throughout the day as if regret was a chain linked to our ankles. Our heads are down, as we try and pull the weight of our sins. But, my dear, if you were to look up and see the sun you’d realize there are things bigger than your past mistakes.

We go to sleep counting our troubles and praying for better days. But don’t you see that it is up to you to make these days exist? Don’t you see, darling, that when you wake, this is the beginning of the rest of your life? Regret should not wake up on the pillowcase beside you. Leave regret to past where it belongs. Wake up with the conviction that you are better than your past.

Because, truthfully, I have probably forgotten hundreds of mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime. I could not remember what I regretted on a rainy afternoon, like today, 3 years ago. Three years ago I remember the trip I took to the coast of France. Three years ago I remember being hopelessly in love. Three years ago I don’t remember the weight of mistakes we seem to carry voluntarily.

So let go, my dear. As the days go on, it’ll be the momentous moments you scrapbook in your mind. At the end of our days, we won’t look back on midnight regrets, afternoon gaffes, and morning blunders. No, as our days near an end we’ll look back at all we did and hope that we did all we could.

Do you see yet, guys? How when you waste your moments stuck in a puddle of regret you’re missing all the moments you’ll actually want to remember? Let go. Let all the errors drift away. Leave the mistakes in the dust with the rest of your past. Don’t let darkness overshadow the sparkle of your happiness. Because don’t you see yet… there is so much to be happy about.

When you sit in your rut going back and forth between what if’s and what not’s… Leave your mind and enter the world. Enter the world and do something worthwhile. If you worry that you have faltered, then go out and prove yourself wrong. If you feel you’ve lost yourself, then go out and find yourself in the present. There are endless possibilities of wonder waiting for you to capture them.

Leave what you cannot change to memory’s sake. The menial mistakes will fade in time. You’ll probably make more to add to the disappearing list. Make as many as you want, darling. We learn from them. We grow from them. It’s through these very mistakes that we are able to experience the brighter moments with a stronger heart. It’s through these very errors that we find more bliss in the wonderful.

Guest post By Sonya Matejko

Image credit: Pinterest

Easy Exercise to Quickly Shift Your Perspective: Seperating Fact From Fiction

Our reality is directly related to our perspective.

If you complain about how much you hate your job, your relationship, the weather, the economy, your life, etc… then the Universe hears you and brings you more things to complain about- a traffic jam, unexpected bills, extra work that drains you of your vital life energy. However, if you can find one tiny thing to be grateful about, then you will receive even more to appreciate and feel gratitude for.

When you are aware of your thoughts, you can catch yourself when you are about to complain or say something negative, judgmental, or act out of a habitual state of being. As the saying goes, “Awareness is the key to freedom.” Even if you catch yourself after the fact, you can still change your perspective, because every new moment is a new opportunity to choose something different. Only you have the power to choose to shift your state of awareness.

FACT: You work at a job that requires you to do the same thing day in and day out, your boss treats you like you don’t matter at all, and you get paid $9.50 an hour.

FICTION: “I hate my job so much and it’s literally killing me. It’s so boring and I can’t stand to be here, yet here I am, working myself to the bone for barely any money. I wake up in a crappy mood every morning because I just don’t want to go to work and be around my boss, who is a complete jerk. I can’t pay all the bills this month so I’ll be eating Ramen again for dinner. Ugh, it’s never going to get any better so I’ll just grab a bottle of whisky and pass out tonight so I can wake up and do the same thing again tomorrow. I hate my life.”

If this sounds all too familiar, then it’s time for a shift. Your fictional story may seem like a rock solid reality, but in all honesty, it’s just your perspective. If you think that this ‘reality’ can’t change, then it won’t, and you will find more and more situations in your life that make you unhappy. But if you are just a little willing to be open to change, then you can immediately shift to a more positive state of being.

Try this:

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: “I am thankful that I have a job right now that at least brings in some money so that I may have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and something to eat. There are a lot of people who don’t have their basic needs met on a regular basis, so I am blessed to have what I have. I know that I can find another job that is fun and more rewarding financially if I just search the internet, send out some resumes, and talk to people. This job is just temporary, and perhaps when I leave, someone else who needs it can have it. I think Joe downstairs was looking for work and maybe he’ll get along better with the boss than I did, or maybe not, but I know it would help him out financially. There are lots of other things that I can do and get paid for, like tutoring people in math! I’m awesome at math!”

It can take a little practice to shift from a negative outlook to a more positive one, but it’s well worth the effort because you get results instantly. You start to feel lighter inside, you have more hope, and ideas just come to you all because you are in a state of gratitude. Like attracts like, so if you find one thing to be grateful for right now, you will find another, and another, and another, until your whole life transforms and is filled to the brim with joy for just living. Your perspective on life has completely changed.

And all it takes is just one tiny shift to get the positive vibes flowing.

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life

Originally posted on THE POSITIVITY BLOG.

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favorite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behavior and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling.

If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth.

You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of.

They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself.

To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding.

But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways.

Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions.

When you are more lighthearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her.

So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to.

On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement (and also to starting a business online now that I think about it).

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways.

Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgement they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. 🙂 They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality.

Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal”� to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit.

You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people.

You help someone and both of you feel good.

The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend.

And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one.

Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

My take- Mark Twain has always been my favourite motivator. From his quotes to teachings about life.

Share and comment.

Who & What Shapes Your Life

Who and what you listen to is shaping your life.


Who said you are not good enough? Who said you won’t make it? Who said you can’t ? Who said you’re not smart enough? Who said you’re not pretty enough?Who said you don’t fit in? Who said you’re not loved? Who do you believe? Who are you listening to? Who is responsible for living your life? 

animation loop GIF


WHAT DO YOU SAY?


The voices you are listening to dictates how you’re living your life. The voice you give your attention to and you hear above the noise. If the voice is uplifting, affirming, challenging and empowering – life.  However, if the voice is degrading, demeaning, discouraging and leave you doubting yourself –  death. It could be your parents, siblings, boss, friend, family, present or ex partner, teacher, or yourself? The person behind the voice influencing your thoughts (if not your own) doesn’t have to be in your life to still impact your life. 

Their voices are like seeds planted in your min, taken root and producing thoughts of doubt, fear, low self worth, and limiting belief . Every day we’re faced with choices and our actions within that day usually is connected to which voice we listen to. What’s the pull?
If you’re living your life based on anything that keeps you locked in fear with a bruised or damaged self-image, you have to take action to stop the self-destruct. You have the strength and ability to break the cycle and begin a new chapter to experience a better outcome by choosing to start cultivating the art of paying closer attention to who and what you’re listening to.


It’s never too late to buy into what will feed and nourish your soul. Turn that energy of drain into gain.


It’s time to start saying NO to what isn’t serving you and start saying YES to what will serve you well.


You get to choose, step into owing this area of your life.  The courage you need to do is present, it shows itself when you take action.  To get started I encourage you to answer the questions listed at the beginning of this article. Listen to your inner self. What is the message your heart is telling you? Once you do, self-awareness rises to identify your who and what. The next step you’ll begin the process of re-establishing your truth about yourself by turning your heart and ears towards what will nourish your soul.


Rise strong from the inside out.  

Why You Should Ditch Some of Your Expectations: to make room for better ones!

Ever wondered why some expectations flop? The outcome didn’t produced what we hoped, and when that happens it can discourage us from “getting our hopes up” and “going there again”. Shouldn’t expectations be like a woman with child? Conceived and happy with the news, she educates herself about what she must do to provide the best care to herself and baby internally and externally. In preparation for the baby’s birth she prepare the room, buy clothes, food, car seat etc. Then she waits with EXPECTANCY for the birth of her beautiful baby.  The level of expectation rises as the delivery date gets closer.

Yet not every pregnancy is the same – for some there’s complications, discomfort during the pregnancy and delivery stage, and for some it’s smooth sailing. However, all that is forgotten once the baby arrives. 

The point here is this – some expectations carries more weight, will require more, takes longer to acheive results, and only you can decide the level of commitment and willingness to invest, the patience to persevere, cultivating the ability to patiently wait for your harvest.

Then, on the flip side there are those expectations that we carry around, that we should ditch. Why? Because some expectations take up unnecessary space in our lives, stealing our energy and distracting our focus and fulfillment. 

In childhood we’re expected to do certain things, and behave a certain way. When those are met we’re rewarded, and when they’re not, we face the consequence.

  • Do your chores
  • Eat your veggies
  • Do your homework
  • Go to bed by…
  • Be respectful to your elders
  • Do what you’re told (my fav)

And as we moved into our teen years the list of expectations expands to fit into a certain mold…not ours necessary, but there it was

  • Improve your grades
  • Stop doing this
  • Do that
  • Get a part time job

Today as adults that cycle continues – at our place of work we’re expected to do certain things that pertains to our role, and act a certain way that’s in line with the company’s guidelines or policy.

In our personal relationships there’s always a level of expectancy – either what we place on ourselves, or what we perceive the other person is expecting…if it’s not shared.

  • I expected you to do this…have dinner ready, do the laundry, wait for my input before making a decision.
  • I expect they’ll understand, or they’re going to be pissed.
  • I expect I’ll get an earful about…
  • I’m expect to have a nice relaxing…

Make room for new expectations

Expectations are like seeds – plant, water and they grow. 

Expectations are futuristic – something to acheive by a certain timeline.

Expectations aren’t fulfilled- until the thing expected is conceived.

Expectations aren’t goals – until action is taken.

Which leads me to ask – What expectation do you have for your life and are you actively fulfilling them? PAUSE pleaseget honest with yourself.

 Or, are you still busy living your life based on the expectation of others.

My sisters, in order for us to experience any level of fulfillment we must conceive, awaken, and discover expectations that will stir fresh live into our beings, what and who we touch, and where we serve. Again, I ask you What expectation do you have for your life and are you actively fulfilling them?

To you being your better best self! 

Image Credit: Pinterest

What’s Your Greatest Barrier to Change?

This is a guest post by Bernadette Logue

Ever felt like there is something lacking within you or in your circumstances that prevents you from flourishing in your life? It’s common to have times in your life when you feel like there are barriers to the change you want to create.

I am ever the seeker of evidence, so in order to see what was really going on out there among my community of readers and clients I asked the question…

“What do you believe is the single greatest barrier to positive change in your life?”

Below is quick snapshot of the responses:

  • Lack of self-belief and confidence – 40%
  • Unsure where or how to start creating change – 16%
  • Personal circumstances and resources – 15%
  • Lack of time and space to create change – 6%
  • Fear of failure – 6%
  • Fear of judgement and ridicule – 3.5%
  • Lack of support/motivation/inspiration – 3.5%
  • Other (such as ‘a little bit of all these things’, ‘familiarity of current situation is easier than the fear of the unknown’ and ‘uncomfortable being vulnerable/addressing true emotions in order to move forward’) – 10%
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What You Believe Becomes Your Reality

You might have noticed that we worded the question, very purposefully, as “What do you BELIEVE….” in relation to barriers to change. That is because your beliefs are what create the barrier/s. And, you have the ability to shift your beliefs. That’s fab news!

It all comes down to how much you want to shift any limiting beliefs. Because you can, it is just a choice and willingness to look at the limitation and to put in the conscious effort (awareness) to retrain your belief system in a way that better serves you. The result will be an empowered version of self for the rest of your life. The effort is worth it! Think of it like a ritual, not a chore. If people put half the effort into themselves as they do into everything (and everyone) else, they would be astounded at the change that results.

A core reason many people don’t put that effort into themselves, is that they don’t put themselves first in their life. They come last after everything and everyone else. It’s time to drench yourself with love and to realise that you are the centre of your life experience, everything stems from you and the best thing you can do for everyone around you is to care for and love yourself (like during aeroplane safety briefings when they tell you to fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others!)

Shifting Yourself – Dissolving Barriers

From your commitment to change, and from your self-belief, stems the endless possibilities available to you. Nothing and no one can tell you what to believe, what to think, how to feel or what to do. You and you alone create your life. You and you alone perceive what stands in your way. You and you alone create or break down the barriers that appear before you. It’s all about lifting your awareness, using your consciousness to your advantage, and starting to make choices moment by moment that will propel you upwards.

So now you might be thinking… “Well, yes I believe that I have barriers to change, and I want to change those beliefs so that those barriers don’t block me any more. But, how the heck do I shift my beliefs?”

I’d love to work with you if you are ready for creating transformation in your personal and professional life, using my simple but powerfully effective techniques and Unleash Your Life coaching method… for rewiring you for inner peace, freedom and success. Get in touch with me directly if you are ready to leave the baggage behind and lift into the next level of your evolution.

For more guides and information about this post. BERNADETTE LOGUE from the Daily Positive.

Starting Over: It Is Not Too Late for A New Career

This is a guest post.

Starting over is a scary prospect. Our human nature wants to move forward, one foot in front of the other and off we go. We want to blaze trails. We want to climb mountains. We want to sail the seas. We want to fly the skies. And we intend to climb up not down the ladders in our careers and move up not down the financial scale in society.

So by nature, starting over does not appeal to any of us. Least of all to me! I should know, even though I was spared the brunt of the situation because I was just a kid. My Dad was 40 and my mom in her early 30s when we left Iran for an initial 2-week vacation to Turkey that turned out to be a “vacation” of a lifetime. My parents left everything behind. When they closed the door to our beloved sweet home at 13 Lida Street in Tehran, they had no idea that they were closing the door to a chapter of our lives that we will forever reminisce.

I watched them over the years as they rebuilt our life and I am immensely proud of their courage to leave one life behind in order to start another, so that we could live in a free country and have opportunities we never would have seen in Iran. Yet reality bites, and the road to stability and financial comfort was not a fun one, and someday, I will chronicle every detail of this journey in a book but for now, suffice it to say that I never became a fan of starting over. It was all about forging ahead, moving up and up in the world, and doing it as fast as I could.

Except, well, until I became so disillusioned with my career in Corporate America that even this great fear – the fear of starting over , the fear of going back to zero, if in nothing else then definitely in income, and doing so not in my 20s but well into my 30s, even that fear paled in comparison to the risks and rewards of starting over.

Starting over now meant I can have a chance at real success and true happiness and I was willing to do it.
Sometimes, we climb the wrong ladder. Sometimes, we get stuck in the wrong “successful” career. Sometimes, we find ourselves miserable in a “rich” lifestyle. Or in the case of my family, sometimes we get stuck in the wrong country at the wrong time in history. It Happens. And it is NOT your fault.

Stop blaming yourself for feeling miserable when you “should” be happy and grateful. Gratitude has nothing to do with your heart’s emptiness and with your own questioning of whether you made the right choices. Stop confusing the two and for what may be the first time in your life, open your ears and listen to your heart’s whisper. What is it telling you now that nothing you have tried is filling you with inner peace? What does it want you to do so you can feel free to do work that you can find meaningful and rewarding?
No one plans for these forks in the road. No one anticipates a midlife career crisis – that’s for the other people who are lost and confused but not us – and no one looks for the day when you wake up and feel you simply can’t do it anymore. No one is prepared for it and hardly anyone wants to deal with it. The easy way now is to go on ignoring the feeling and paying the price later. The hard way is to listen to yourself and to start over.

Well, I have news for you. Starting over won’t kill you. It will make you stronger, and you will wonder why you did not do this sooner because if you really think about it, time is all you got, and when you feel the urge to leave something and start something else, waiting only kills more of your most precious resource: time, and yet waiting is what most ends up doing, only to end up in an unhappier place down the road.

Starting over asks for commitment and courage. You need to spend the time to build your new skills, and you need to understand that it doesn’t happen overnight.

If you want to start a career in finance, you don’t need to know everything about the stock market on day 1. If you want to take care of little animals in a shelter, you are not going to be responsible for their every need from day 1. If you want to become a speaker, you are not expected to speak before a room full of people right off the bat. You build skills over time, and yet time passes and you grow and when you are doing what you love, when your heart sings and your soul feels liberated to do work that it believes in, then you won’t mind so much putting in the hours and rebuilding your dream. This time, you know that you are on the right path. You know you are climbing the right ladder, walking down the right path, and following the right signals.

Starting over today will pay handsomely tomorrow.

Why do we hesitate to start over? Or rather, why are we terrified of it? Naturally because we wonder if it’s too late. If we are too old and if our golden window of opportunity has long since closed.

Rubbish, stop lying to yourself.

You are still alive, aren’t you? You are still breathing and moving, right? You can still dream and believe, can’t you? Then wouldn’t be in such a hurry to join the living dead. I would be in a hurry to start living and if that means starting over, then so be it.

Start over now. It is NOT too late for you to start a new career now but don’t wait longer either because tomorrow, you will wish you had started yesterday.

Credit: P. Living