Two Major Obstacles To Success

We are familiar with the two agents to success. Which are fear and doubt. It is first of all the fear of failure, poverty, loss, embarrassment, or rejection that holds most people back from trying in the first place.

I remember back in 2013, I was blogging for an entertainment blogger. That period was my first experience in the blogging path. I was learning at the same time trying to venture into mine. After a year blogging for someone else, I decided to start my own and create my own path. First of all I was really motivated in starting my own entertainment blog which I did. But at some point I was scared and decided to fall back a bit. Fear of the unknown came knocking at my door, dropping some doubt about me starting my blog. How I was going to make it famous, how will I get my readers from, there are too many entertainment blogs out there, how are you sure you gonna make it. Different thoughts came to my mind. At some point I decided to go back and work for the person I was blogging for. In all I overcame and my path to blogging from then till now started.

You know because of fear of failure and rejection, an average number of times that people try to achieve a new goal is less than one. As soon as they think of the goal, these fears overwhelm them and, like a bucket of water on a small fire, extinguish their desire completely.

The second mental obstacle, closely aligned to fear, is self doubt. We doubt our own abilities. We compare ourselves unfavourably to others and think that others are some how better, smarter, and more competent than we are. We think, “I’m not good enough.” We feel inadequate and inferior to the challenges of achieving the great goals that we so much want to accomplish.

Fortunately, if there is anything good about doubt and fear it’s that they are both learned emotions. Have you ever seen a nagative baby before? Children come into the world with no doubts or fears at all. And whatever has been learned can be unlearned through practice and repetition.

The primary antidotes to doubt and fear are courage and confidence. The higher your level of courage and confidence, the lower will be your levels of fear and doubt and the less effect these negative emotions will have on your perfomance and behaviour.

I leave you with this:

Isaiah 43:1 “Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.” God actually commands us not to fear, or worry. The phrase “fear not” is used at least 80 times in the Bible, most likely because He knows the enemy uses fear to decrease our hope and limit our victories.

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How To Get Motivated Doing What’s Good For You

How to get motivated doing what's good for you

You logically know what’s good for you. That’s no mystery. But what might be unclear is how to get motivated to DO what’s good for you!

Most of us know, and even tell ourselves, what’s good for us and what’s going to help us achieve our goals and live our best life. But then find ourselves doing the opposite.

We so crazy!!

What’s up with that?
Why would we seemingly avoid happiness and success, and sabotage ourselves to stay stuck?
Why would we resist the very thing that is so obviously going to be the right action we need to take?

Avoiding What’s Good for You? Struggling to Get Motivated?

Let’s start by identifying if you are in fact avoiding what’s good for you.

A quick test to know for SURE that you’re in resistance and not acting on your own intelligence, is that you find yourself saying “should” and “shouldn’t”. For example…

  • I should eat that but…I shouldn’t eat this but…I should do that but…I shouldn’t do this but…I should be XYZ but…I shouldn’t be so XYZ but…I should make this happen but…I shouldn’t be wasting my time on this but…

  • I shouldn’t eat this but…I should do that but…I shouldn’t do this but…I should be XYZ but…I shouldn’t be so XYZ but…I should make this happen but…I shouldn’t be wasting my time on this but…

If we know what’s good for us, and therefore what will lead us to achieve our goals in health, fitness, nutrition, weight, career, business, finances, relationships, lifestyle… WHY DON’T WE JUST DO IT?

5 Keys to Motivate Yourself to Do What’s Good for You

1. Knowing you’re worth it! You deserve whatever amazing result exists on the other side of your action.
2. Knowing no one is coming to save you and no one is going to do it for you. You have everything you need inside you right now to get motivated, in action and LOVING your life.
3. Knowing that avoiding what is good for you only creates long term pain. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to get REAL with yourself.
4. Knowing that any short term pain involved in doing what’s good for you is going to create x100 payback in awesome long term gain.
5. Knowing life is short and you have to choose to get busy living or get busy dying.

Don’t forget to drop your suggestion on this post. Also share, repost and follow.

3 Questions To Confirming Your Purpose

Hey guys, thanks for stopping by.

Today I will be pointing out 3 questions to confirming your purpose.

real success story in the mountain,sport couple woman with successful with sunset

Purpose is the feeling of having a definite aim and of being determined to achieve it. A very important thing you want to achieve in life.

Living a life without regret is a universal desire. I’ve had too many sleepless nights around the question, “is this it?” I’ve worked hard… and even had some great achievements, but at times, I’m still troubled by the missed opportunities, the things I’ve never said, the trips I never took, or decisions I’ve failed to make. This is regret.

It’s the feeling of missing out. It can sap your passion, poison your future, and even have an effect on those around you. It leads me to this positive thought:

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”

But in the end, we can’t do it all. We all realize life is moving faster and faster to our final day – and we understand a life without regret is impractical, but how do we live life with less regret? How can we chase our dreams, live our passion, and love our lives all at the same time?

3 Critical Questions to Confirming Your Purpose:

  1. What are you most passionate about? – (Design and Creativity, Charity, Tutor, Entrepreneurship, Etc.)
  2. Who’s most important to you? (Spouse, Best Friend, Cousin, Parents, Children, Strangers, Etc.)
  3. Where is your favorite place on earth? (NYC, Spain, Canada, Australia, Hawaii, Your Home, Church, Etc.)

If you’re doing what you’re passionate about, with the people most important to you, in place that excites you, you are living the dream.

Now, it’s up to you to not only answer these questions but to make at least one of them happen this year… because remember, in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

Let’s hear from you in our comment section.

Have a productive day!

Getting Sucked Into Comparing Yourself To Societies Norms

笑う女性と悩む女性

Have you ever observed people or yourself feeling taunted by social norms?

I’ve noticed the history of this for myself, spanning back to childhood, and I’ve noticed it time and time again for others I encounter in my work, where people have fallen into the hole of comparing themselves to others and comparing themselves to socially accepted norms and measures of ‘success’. Granted, it’s a pretty darn big hole, so actually it’s not that hard to fall into! When I’ve witnessed this Comparison Conundrum as I like to call it, it’s like hearing a cry echoing from deep within the hole, which sounds a bit like this:

  • Everyone else is married now, and I’m not. Something’s wrong.
  • Everyone else is buying houses now, I guess I should too.
  • I’ve got this job but it’s not really a career like other people have.
  • They’ve found their passion, I still don’t know what mine is.
  • I’m falling behind.
  • I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
  • I want to ‘switch lanes’ in life but I don’t want to go backwards. It’s too risky.
  • They are successful and did it that way; I should do it that way too.
  • They are thinner/more attractive/more fashionable/more successful/braver/stronger than me. I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough.
  • I’m not capable like them, I guess I’m just not destined to have a life like them.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This hole is so easy to fall into because often we’re invited into the hole, with our mind reinforcing that we’re falling behind via negative thoughts, supported by well meaning people telling us that we should do this and that. So of course we’d then end up in the hole when everything points that way. Our mind reinforces what we see and hear, telling us it is true and if only we could figure out what we need to be and do in order to be like everyone else, then everything would be fine, right?

Except, you’re not everyone else. You’re you. No one is like you. No one. You make your own decisions about what you need and want, and when it feels good to you. If you want a house right now, buy one. If you don’t, don’t. If you want to travel, travel. If you want a big career, have it. If you want to do volunteer work, do it. If you want to be single, be single. If you want kids, have them. If you don’t, don’t. Do what feels good to you, not what others tell you that you should feel good about. And when I say others, I primarily include in that all the advertising, all the propaganda and all the mass media messaging we see day to day that conditions us in a way that we don’t even consciously realise. Start listening to the one thing you can trust – your soul. Your soul is your true self, below any rampant negative thoughts that are leading you astray.

And you might say, “I can’t hear my soul. I don’t know what it’s telling me!”

To which I would suggest that you be still and quiet as often as possible. Listen without fear to what rises up from within you. You do know what you want and need. You do know what makes you feel good. And, let your signals guide you home.

Listening to the advice of others, proffered from their own paradigm, will never triumph over your inner knowing and divine guidance.

  • Do you compare yourself to others?
  • Do you compare your situation and status to that of others?
  • What prompts you to do that?
  • How does that make you feel?

If you’re feeling sad, alone, disconnected, lacking, not enough or plain old exhausted from it, then give it up. Chose to let it go and be open to exploring who you are and what is important and meaningful to the real you – that is, the you below any negative thoughts, any conditioning and any fear. We all have negative thoughts, we have all been conditioned and we all have fear. If you are alive, then you have experienced all of this, it is impossible not to. But now you are awake, and you have the choice to either be defined by these things, or to break free.

Being someone you are not, in an attempt to live up to social norms, means that signals will eventually intervene to help you. As Marianne Williamson says, “The universe is self organising and self correcting”. If you are not aligned to who you really are, your true self, the natural order of the world in which we live will eventually assist you to see this. Intervening signals are not always pleasant, but they are signposts to help us head in a new, better, healthier, more beneficial direction. When things in your life ‘turn to custard’, it could well be because you are not in your flow, you might have accidentally swam into someone else’s flow. So, get out of their river and get in your own

Here is my final word on this subject, and when I say it to you, know that whatever I write is really a message to myself as much as it is to you. For in saying it to you I am reminding us both:

  • NEVER compare yourself to others. EVER.
  • NEVER try to be someone else. EVER.
  • You were born extraordinary and unique.
  • Any time you compare yourself to others, trying to be something else or like someone else, you deny the beautiful individuality that you were gifted when your soul chose to come into this life.

Create your own norms in life. The norms of society have no bearing on you unless you choose them. At all times, be yourself. There is nothing more magical, perfect and beautiful than you being you.

Credit Source:  BERNADETTE LOGUE

Interview With Ex- Beauty Queen And Super Model: Joyce Ngozi Chidebe

Am so privilege to have the opportunity of interviewing an Ex- Nigerian Beauty Queen, a super model, and a friend over the weekend.

Guys, join me as I welcome Joyce Ngozi Chidebe

1. Tell us a bit about your background, school, and Where were you born?

I am the 3rd child in a family of 7. Was born in Lagos state. I attended both primary and high school in Lagos state, and my university (UNIBEN) in Edo state.

2. How was life growing up?
Growing up was something!
I grew up in a 3 bedroom apartment that had a cacophony of people in it because my parents never turned a blind eye to a person in need.
You have accommodation problem, there’s always a couch/bed for you to sleep in.
No food, there is always a plate for you.
The pro of that was that I understood people’s suffering from a really young age and it taught me humility.
The con on the other hand is I am a very quiet/private person so the inability to quiet the noise and have an alone time irked me.
In all it helped shape me into who I am today: strong, grounded and disciplined.

Me: that’s so kind of you guys.. Both 😂😂😂

3. At what age in your life did you decide you wanted to go into modelling?
I decided to go into modeling when I was 17 years old.

4. How did you cope with running your daily activities and modelling?
I always say the best way to live is to make sure there is a sync or balance in the things you do. My daily activities and modeling is very much inter woven so there is never a clash.

5. Is being a supermodel a burden or a blessing or a bit of both?
It’s been an absolute blessing. I’ve met amazing people, achieve feats that were just imaginations before now and also been able to give me financial freedom.
6. What’s the weirdest thing your fans has ever told you?
“You are my role model” it was overwhelmingly but highly flattering/appreciated. It was like a bitter sweet feeling because here I am trying to constantly improve myself and with that comes self criticism so it was absolutely amazing to hear that someone appreciate the work I am doing.
7. Your self confident is so bold, do you sometimes have the fear of the unknown?

Absolutely! I believe a person without is a person without dreams. Confidence/courage isn’t the lack of fear but the ability to look at your fear and with a sweating palm/racing heart hold on to it so tight that even the universe will help you make those dreams come true!

8. Which other professional are you looking to work with or have something coming out with?
Fashion designing, animation, interior design and architecture.

9. If you had a chance to work with one person in the world, who would it be?

This is difficult question to answer as I have a long list of people I would love to work with in every field I am interested in. It ranges from Namoi Campbell, Coco Rocha, Edward Enninful, Karl Lagerfeld, rElon musk, Richard Branson, Meryl Streep, Mia jocovich, Emma Stone, Johnny Deep, Chimamanda Adiche and much more.

10. What are your top 3 points in your note or pad that you always reflect on?
Is it weird to say I don’t have a go to note pad cos I actually don’t.
11. You were MBGN 2012 runner up and also West Africa Beauty Queen runner up. How has life treated you after the beauty pageant?

Beauty pageantry was a beautiful stepping stone for me. It help me dream even more, made me push more and it has help me drive myself in the direction I currently am right now.

12. What advice would you give to aspiring young models?
Things are not going to be given to you, you have to work for it. Show up for your casting, be prompt and have a “can do” energy. A lot of no’s might be thrown at you but shake it of, keep pushing and give them a reason to say yes. Believe me when I say it’s quite worth it.

13. Please advice the unmotivated and non inspired people around the world today on why they shouldn’t give up but keep trying. Please explain???
Life is tough, I truly do understand that but putting too much thoughts to your problems won’t solve it. So just like a tough exam in school, solve the easy problems: that would give you an energy/mental boost. That way you have a few more things to be grateful for and helps you look at the tougher problems with more of a positive light. Don’t rush but also dont be lazy, a steady pace will keep you balanced and help you enjoy the small miracles on your way to your big picture.

14. What’s next for Joyce?
I am busy dreaming with my eyes wide open.

We all from Motivated and Free Blog appreciate you for sparing us a bit of your time because we know you are a very busy lady. We wish you the best in all your endeavours.

Thank you.

Admit That You Are Not Perfect

One thing you should know about life is that nobody is perfect. You must learn to say to remain flexible is, “I made a mistake. ” It is amazing how much time, energy, and money is wasted because some people’s egos are so large that they will not admit they have made a mistake, even one that is obvious to everyone around them.

Once you say, “I was wrong” or “I made a mistake, ” the issue is largely over. From then on, everybody can get on with resolving the problem or achieving the goal. But as long as a key person is unwilling to admit that he or she has taken the wrong course, everything comes to a stop.

We have seen this repeatedly in national politics where the failure of a single person to admit a mistake or blunder has led to tremendous waste of time and energy for everyone involved and often for the entire nation.

Photo credit: Pinterest

You Will Never Always Be Motivated, So You Must Learn To Be Disciplined

Hi guys, thanks for dropping by.

I congratulate you again for making it into 2019. We will accomplish greatness this year. But it won’t just come like that, we have to be disciplined to be motivated to accomplish every goal written for this year.

motivation GIF
Don’t limit yourself this year, try and break the boiling point
motivational discipline GIF
Make sure whatever you want to become in life as a person, you need to be persistent and be ready for any hurdles along the way because challenges will surely come. So be ready to take charge and follow the right path
motivational you can do it GIF
If you dream whatever you want to do, you can surely put it into action and make it a reality
cat motivation GIF
Don’t just dream it, work on it
king of queens running GIF by TV Land
You can do it

Have a wonderful day.

Your Past Is Not Your Future

wake up success GIF by Interstellardesignz

Many people had difficult experiences growing up. They fell on hard times and became associated with the wrong people. I am a perfect example of this, after giving up on writing different exams to enter the university, I was miserable at home. It led me to different bad kinds of stuff like following the wrong set of people, I stole, and was very rude and disrespect my mum.

Anyways let us go on with the main reason for this post.

Some people were convicted for their crimes after behaving in ways that were illegal or socially unacceptable. Thank God I wasn’t…

They thought seriously about the kind of person they wanted to be known as, and thought of, in the future. They decided to change their lives by changing the values that they lived by. By making these decisions and sticking to them, they changed their lives. And what others have done, you can do as well.

Remember: It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from; all that really matters is where you’re going.

If you were an outstanding person in every respect, how would you behave toward others? What sort of impression would you leave on others after you had met them and spoken with them? Imagine you could be a completely excellent person. How would you be different from who you are today?

Please drop your comment and contribution to this post.

Have a blessed day!

Make A Difference In 2019

what are your goals GIF by The Hills

You have goals for your 2019 which is just in a few days. Have different goals for your blog, family, work, social and community involvement and contribution as well. What kind of difference would you like to make in this world next year? What organizations, causes, needs, or social problems would you like to work on or in? What changes would you like to see? Who is there who is less fortunate than you that you would like to help?

If you were independently wealthy, what causes would you support? Most of all, what could you do today to begin making a difference in the world? Don’t wait until some future date when everything will b ideal. Instead, start today in some way.

happy new years eve GIF by Matthew Butler

Am happy to say welcome to 2019 guys because am already in 2019.

Determine Your Heart’s Desire

Beauty happy girl with Valentine gift box.In his book “The Importance of Discovering Your Hearts Desire”, Emmet Fox wrote What is your heart’s desire? What is it that, deep down in your heart, more than anything else, you would like to be, have, or do in life? A s a friend of mine asks, “What do you want to be famous for?”

What words would you like people to use to describe you when you are not there? When you gone, what will you like people to say at your funeral? How would you want your family, friends, and children to remember you? How would you like people to talk to them about you?

What kind of a reputation do you have today? What kind of a reputation would you like to have sometime in the future? What would you have to begin doing today in order to create the kind of reputation that you desire?

What You Can Learn From Beauty Pageants

Hi guys, thanks for dropping by.

So am a big fan of pageants since

Miss Nigeria “Agbani Darego” won Miss World in 2001. These young girls have a plan, a goal and big dreams in life. In spite of some of them coming from a poor background or country, their stories never defeated them but by believing they can make a difference in the world. It’s not all about beauty but with brain and character.

In case you missed the just concluded Miss Universe 2018. I encourage you to look for a recorded copy and watch. Truly inspiring and motivating.

Congratulations to Miss Philippines crowned Miss Universe 2018.

The Situation Analysis Of Life

After Secondary School..
All your classmates have gone in different directions in the world.

Some have completed universities and are now:
Doctors,
Engineers,
Teachers,
Pilots,
Lawyers,
Administrators, etc.

Some are married,
Some have given birth,
Some are still searching and waiting on the Lord.
Some are dead, don’t forget that too.

And others are on the sick bed,
Some are running their higher degrees: Masters, PHD, etc.

Some haven’t even gained admission into the tertiary institution and may NEVER be able to.

Some own companies,
Some are now Directors and major shareholders in global companies.

But how do you feel
When you meet your classmates, and it seems like he/she has accomplished their dreams and you’re not yet close to yours?
So many thoughts run through your mind, right?
First, you think God has not been fair to you.

How about the ones you meet on the street wearing dirty cloths and still struggling for survival ?
Do you get the same thoughts running through your mind?
I guess, NO.

Don’t forget too that some are already dead.
Somehow it feels natural to have that feeling of jealous for those mates who seem better off, but it is really unnecessary.

There is no room for regrets,
We are all different and our paths to greatness are also not the same in distance.

Some might have arrived earlier before you and some after you, but whatever level you find yourself in life,
Please keep trying to break limitations and move further.

Celebrate the success of others, its an indication that yours too shall surely come.

Your friend buys a car now, be happy with him/ her.
Remember when you’ll buy yours,
theirs might not be the latest again.
There’s no permanent champion, but current champion.

Life is not about competition, do not be in a race with anyone; remember, we may seem to be reading the same book but different chapters at different times.

Don’t let the passion in you kill the desire in you, keep it burning.

What you’re passing through today;
Write it down because one day the world would be ready to read it, they’ll become part of your success story.

There’s no height you cannot attain, believe in yourself, define your goals, recognize distractions and don’t stop striving.

Spend time teaching yourself, because those things that mainly take people to the top are the things they devoted their time to develop.

Don’t be intimidated by your friend’s success, the sky is wide enough for birds to fly without touching one another.

Value every little thing that God brings into your life, love God and obey Him.
For with God, all things are possible.

Now to those who are on top Never forget to give a helping hand to those who are down. Because Life is full of uncertainties; the one you pull up today, may be the one to hold your hands and prevent you from falling tomorrow

A piece of advice there, food for thought

Please share, comment and like this to all your friends and let them realize that God has a purpose in their lives.

God bless you.

How to Motivate Yourself – 5 Steps to Turn Your Power On!

Don’t wear a bullet proof because am about to shoot 5 steps for how to motivate yourself.

1. Your Reality Stocktake

Grab a pen and paper. You’re about to get real with yourself!

Answer these questions:

  • What price are you paying for doing nothing and staying where you are? There are costs involved! The clearer you are on that, the more uncomfortable you will be about it. The more uncomfortable you are, the more motivated you will be to do something to change it!
  • What are you missing out on by not taking action and creating the outcomes you want? There is something great available to you if only you would go for it. The clearer you are about that, the more disappointed you will feel if you don’t get up and get after it. The more disappointed you are, the more motivated you will be to get in action!

The point is this – you want to feel a little pain here.

Pain is motivating.

There is NO VALUE in pretending that there is no price you’re paying and there is nothing you’re missing out on.

Getting real with yourself is a powerful starting point for powering up.

2. Time to Raise Your Standards

If you’re not motivated, chances are you are TOO comfortable where you stand.

If that is true, it means you are too accepting of your current situation and the price you’re paying. And, you’re okay to some extent with missing out on what else is available in your life.

This means your standards are too low. You unconsciously (or consciously!) expect less for yourself than you really deserve.

To have what you want, you need to raise your standards and get emotionally convicted about the fact you DON’T DESERVE to stay stuck and pay these prices. And, that you DO DESERVE better for yourself.

3. Draw a Line in the Sand

Getting motivated and staying motivated requires that you say, “Enough is enough.”

I like to call this – putting a line in the sand.

You draw a line, you step over it, and you say, “I’m never going back.”

One big problem people face with motivation is that it ebbs and flows, and they yo-yo in and out of it. This means you never really get lasting change or the results you want.

To get lasting change means being consistent. Consistently motivated. Consistently clear. Consistently in action.

If you don’t put a line in the sand and step over it permanently, then it means that in your mindset you are allowing yourself permission to yo-yo.

If you start out on a path of action or change with the intention that it’s okay to stop whenever you want, then guess what . . . you will!

Instead, create a mindset that says, “I’m not turning back. I’m motivated and I’m sticking with this. I’m never going back. I don’t deserve back there. I do deserve what’s ahead.”

No one can inject you with the sustainable motivation you need. They can amp you up for a short period of time. But hyped up energy taken from someone else never lasts!

The way to get lasting motivation, and motivation on the things that count, is to create it for yourself through a shift in your mind.

Learn how to use your mind and emotional system to your advantage, and you’ll finally feel like the master of your own destiny.

4. Your Mortality Reminder

You are not going to live forever. Fact.

You’ve used up some of your days already! Fact.

How many do you have left?

We don’t know. No one does.

This hopefully is a motivating factor for you!

When you remember that everyone ends up 6 feet under at some point, and you really dwell on the fact YOU will end up there too, it’s like having the electric shock paddles zapped on your heart. It jolts you to life!

The fact you’re reading this and thinking thoughts, and breathing, and working, and going about your daily life, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ALIVE.

Being truly alive is when you are consciously in control of yourself and owning your life.

5. Set the Structure

Most people struggle with motivation because they don’t have structure in place to help them STAY motivated.

Anyone can hype you up given the right insights and approach.

You can hype yourself up given the right tips and tools.

But hype is NOT genuine motivation.

Hype is what feels great and then fizzles out like a firework on a rainy night.

I want you to have lasting motivation, which means…

You need structure in place to not only lift up your motivation levels but to KEEP THEM UP.

The problem is – life is busy, demanding and noisy. There are always things to distract you. You might forget.

If your mindset isn’t finely tuned already, then you likely have your own inner blocks that will get in the way too (excuses, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and so forth). But try pushing yourself and beating these obstacles and sure you will overcome.

Feeling motivated? I’d love to hear from you so please do head to the comments section below. Let me know what’s happening in your life right now!

Credit to Bernadette Logue