Dodging the Second Arrow – How to Manage Yourself During Difficult Times

One of the most profound Zen parables, “The Two Arrows“, tells the story of a samurai who was struck in the shoulder by a stray arrow in the heat of battle. The wounded samurai looked down at the arrow in his shoulder and was overcome by shock and disbelief. His sword dropped to the ground as his courage deserted him, and when the enemy soldiers saw this, they fell upon him and defeated him.

The parable continues by recounting the story of another samurai who was also struck in the shoulder by an arrow. His injury was equally severe, but when he looked down and saw the arrow in his shoulder, he did not lose courage. Instead, he became even more determined. He grabbed his sword with his other hand, tucked his wounded arm into his armor, and charged the enemy soldiers with a ferocity they had never seen before. In the end, despite his injury, the second samurai survived.

The narrative describes two very different reactions to the same misfortune, but a deeper insight is revealed when we understand the true meaning of the story’s title. Although “The Two Arrows” seems to refer to the arrows that struck the two samurai, the title in fact refers to the two arrows that struck the first samurai. The first arrow — the wooden one — was the one that injured his shoulder. The second arrow — the arrow of doubt and fear — did much worse damage…

The second arrow destroyed his spirit.

When we consider the story from this perspective, we realize that it was the second arrow that killed the samurai, not the first. After all, the other samurai was struck in the shoulder in the same manner, and he survived. There was no second arrow for him. Furthermore — and this is perhaps the most important part — the second arrow did not fall from the sky. It came from within the samurai himself.

We may not battle with swords and arrows anymore, but we all get struck by arrows of misfortune from time to time. Some are worse than others, but the first arrow is seldom lethal on its own.

It’s the second arrow — the negative ways in which we deal with these misfortunes — that can devastate us. The challenge for us is to avoid that second arrow.

Easier said than done, right? Perhaps, but we are certainly not without guidance in this area. There are several short-term and long-term strategies that we can use to manage ourselves during the more difficult times in our lives. Here are a few that I have found to be particularly effective…

Remember to Pray

This is the first thing you should do. First put everything in God’s hands, cast your care for he will take care of you.

Remember to Breathe

One of my family members suffers from dementia, and he is starting to experience some of the behavioral changes that often accompany that disease. The staff at his residence notify me whenever he gets into an altercation, so when I hear the beep of an incoming message from one of his caregivers, I immediately get a sinking feeling in my stomach. That’s when I know it’s time for an old, reliable countermeasure: slow and regular abdominal breathing.

Breathing may be automatic, but proper breathing isn’t necessarily so. During moments of nervousness or stress, our respiration naturally becomes shallow and erratic. This can cause us to become even more anxious, and in severe cases, may even trigger panic attacks.

Slow and regular abdominal breathing, on the other hand, has the opposite effect. It activates our parasympathetic nervous system – a division of our nervous system that calms us down and helps us control our emotions. With a little bit of focus, we can use this connection to our advantage.

The next time a co-worker becomes confrontational and you feel your lip starting to quiver, or the next time you are about to address a large audience and your knees get weak, take a moment to bring your breathing under control. This simple act has a remarkable effect, and is undoubtedly one of the most important life skills anyone can learn.

Recognize the Second Arrow

The story of the two arrows does more than just convey an important idea. It provides us with a contextual reference that can help us recognize and classify our behavior. Armed with this insight, we can reflect upon our actions and ask ourselves if we are reacting to a situation in a positive and constructive way or if we are suffering from a second arrow. When we perform this type of introspection, we can flag negativity early on and manage it more effectively.

Take Back Control of Your Thoughts

As a species, we are evolutionarily hard-wired to give priority to negative stimuli. This instinct gives us important survival advantages, but it also leaves us with a tendency to dwell on the negative. Although that tendency may be overwhelming at times, it is possible to overcome it and take back control of our thoughts.

When my daughter was ten years old, she suffered a stroke while on her way home from school. She eventually recovered (I’m glad to report!), but that first night in the critical care unit of the hospital was one of the worst nights of my life. As my wife and I were preparing a makeshift bed in the waiting room and wondering how we would ever make it through the night, one of the doctors who attended to my daughter dropped by to wish us the best. Afterwards, as I settled into bed, and all the worry and stress of the situation filled my head, I distinctly remember focusing my mind on nothing but a mental image of the doctor’s friendly face. That mental diversion — that one little act of changing my thoughts — helped me nod off and get some much-needed rest.

Worry and stress are inventions of the mind, and if the mind can cause these feelings, the mind can alleviate them.

It’s within our power to direct our thoughts away from the negative and towards, well, anything else. It might require a conscious effort, but it can be done. Evolutionary impulses may be strong, but that doesn’t mean we can’t override them from time to time!

Stay Active

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve finished work, gone home with the problems of the day still swirling around in my head, gone for a workout, and then wondered why I was so stressed. It may sound cliché, but sometimes there’s nothing like a bit of exercise to help us clear our minds. The effects of physical activity on mental health and overall quality of life have been well documented, and the feeling of general well-being that comes from being active cannot be overstated.

The more active we are, the stronger we feel, and the more positive and self-confident we become. It’s a powerful cycle!

This is a guest post from Ernest Cadorin🙏🙏🙏🙏💯💯💯💯

Image credit: Pinterest

5 Tips for Conquering Negativity When Starting Your Own Business

Guest post from Katelyn Marie

Imagine this. It has been raining for so long, but you want to take a walk and meet your friend who lives a house down. The only problem is that you live on a dirt road. There are no sidewalks or paved walking paths to be found.

So, you decide to walk on the dirt road. As you take the first few steps forward the mud is so thick you can feel the suction on your shoes as they are nearly pulled off of your feet. You’re scared of the step you just took and want to turn around, but you realize that you really want to see your friend.

You push on only to slip and go sideways. You catch yourself and learn from your mistake. Pretty soon you’re walking at a good clip, but you don’t see the stick in your way and trip over it, falling down completely.

Managing to get back up, you notice you’re covered in the filth and dirt. The mud is fresh in your mouth; it tastes disgusting. You won’t be able to wash off until later, but you wipe off as much as you can.

You start to wonder when you’ll get to your friend’s house. It didn’t seem this far away before.

You think about giving up completely, but you realize that wouldn’t be wise. You’re already part way there. You’ve chosen to follow through and if you quit now, you’ll feel cheated. Besides, you want to see your friend.

Finally, you see your friend waving from her porch. She runs forward and embraces you.

“I’ve been waiting,” she says.

Revealing Your Power

  • Now, what if I told you the mud was every negative thought, naysayer, or comment that was holding you back from your dreams?
  • And your friend was success.
  • And that you were carrying a super long hose that could’ve been used to wash yourself clean at any time you chose?

Would you believe me?

When I first started out, I’m not sure I would have.

Right out of college I chose to start my own freelance writing business. That was the scariest decision I’ve made to date. It’s hard and frustrating and sometimes completely baffling. It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in the doubts and negative thinking that can accompany taking a leap of faith.

But success was calling my name. She beckoned me from her porch, called me to keep coming closer, to keep pursuing her.

It’s easy to get stuck in the mud. To fall victim to the thoughts in our own mind and voices of others who doubt our ability to achieve what we are called to. It’s easy to stumble over an obstacle in our path and let it stop us. But we must forge on.

A lot of people have called me brave for starting my own business. While these things do take courage, I think the bravest people are the ones who start working on their goals and keep working to complete them. It takes grit, determination, and bravery.

I didn’t believe it at first, but I do hold the power. And with these five ways to conquer negativity, you can hold the power, too.

Say No to Negativity When Starting Your Own Business – 5 Easy Tips

1. Not Everyone Will Understand—Don’t Expect them To

There will always be well-intentioned people who will try to change your mind. Who will try to convince you to do something safer or easier.

My advice: don’t let them. Stick to your guns and explain why your dream is important to you. If they don’t come around, they aren’t worth your time.

2. True Haters are Probably Jealous

Ever come across a person who has nothing kind to say about your business venture?

It might be their own insecurities talking. You’re doing something they’ve only dreamed about. Remind yourself that it isn’t you and if you can, distance yourself from the negativity.

3. Find Positive Places and People

Whether it’s friends and family or a group on Facebook, surround yourself with like-minded people who share your goals. It’s much easier to reign over doubt if you have people walking with you. Plus, it’s a great way to network and expand your circle of supporters.

4. Success is Measured in More than One Way

Don’t look at your business purely in terms of profit. While that’s the ultimate goal, there is so much you learn with a start-up. You’re gaining life skills that are invaluable. So, when someone tries to measure your success in monetary terms, know that’s not the only way to look at it.

5. View Mistakes as Lessons

When you start this journey and as you continue to walk on it, there will be times when you mess up. Instead of throwing in the hat and telling yourself you aren’t cut out for this, try to see mistakes as learning experiences. Work through the problem and try not to repeat it. Be as gritty as possible.

A Rocky Road is Well Worth It

It isn’t always easy to follow your dreams. Sometimes they seem impossible. We make excuses: now’s not the right time, I don’t have enough money saved, I’m too old for this, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

But the truth is we can make excuses for days. There will never be a “right” time to start. But if it is something you really want, put on your boots and stick your foot into the mud. It’ll be messy, but there’s a good chance it’ll be worth it.

Image credit: Pinterest

How to Stop Feeling Guilty & Believe in Yourself

Have you been feeling guilty recently?

Or perhaps for a very long time?

Maybe you’ve done something you regret, something awful even.

Or maybe you are just tired of feeling shamefaced all the time.

You’re going to get really good at this. The more you practice reframing your thoughts about your relationships, the more enchanting you will become.

The process goes something like this:

  1. First ask yourself, “Should I really feel guilty about this?”
  2. Question the motivations of the person placing guilt on you. Was it about their needs or yours?
  3. If you are at fault, do something about it. Make it up to the person if you can. And move on.
  4. It’s not the end of the world if you lose a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about you or won’t forgive you.
  5. Use the experience as a learning opportunity to make yourself a better person.

And remember this, you gorgeous person–the best cure for guilt is to the become the highest version of yourself, not of someone else!

Thank you Tami Green for these wonderful points.

Image credit: Pinterest

83 Ways to Become a Better Person (List 3)

Hey guys!

Today I continue with my list about ways to become a better person. If you’ve missed the other lists, don’t worry, you can simply search the blog or check the archive section for the previous lists.

So here is the list on being a better person starting from 41-60..

41. Watch your health like a hawk. Don’t rely on doctors or nutritionists. You Know Best.
42. Walk away if it compromises your values or it will eat away at you sooner or later.
43. Start that project, that dream, that task that ages ago you put away, saving it for “someday”. Just Start It!
44. Take the second step after starting that project in #43.
45. Create a bucket list if only to get a sense of immediacy and urgency about life.
46. Remind yourself that life is finite and your days are numbered and now is the time to do what you want.
47. Ask your boss for a raise . Ask again if you don’t get an answer or get a new boss.
48. If bosses don’t work out for you, no problem. You weren’t meant to have one. Become your own damn boss!
49. Don’t just get married to get married. Marry for love. Marry for love so intense you can’t stand not being married to it.
50. Don’t have children unless you want them. And don’t feel bad if you don’t. Don’t force your spouse to want them either, just find one who does.
51. Get a dog only if you are not going to leave it in a crate all day long. Please.
52. Find people who get you. Really, really get you! Find the group, the community that gets you , whoever you may be. Find it.
53. Stop mistreating your body. You are not invincible and it will catch up with you and you will regret it.
54. Don’t put up with the crappy corporate job culture if you are itching to get out. It’s mostly lies, half-truths, and total nonsense.
55. Take a hard-core class that pushes your body. Indoor cycling. Krava maga. Kickboxing. Power yoga.
56. Stay away from people who are jealous of you and don’t be jealous of others. They are not who you are meant to be.
57. Read Rumi’s poetry. Do this more than once.
58. Motivate yourself every single day to keep going and don’t even talk to me about poor odds or bad luck. Just keep going.
59. Fight complacency like you would an animal that is out to suck the very life out of you.
60. Push past your comfort zone, be it in body, mind or spirit. Get uncomfortable. Good stuff will happen next.

Stay tuned for the final list on this space. Have a wonderful day and happy weekend!!!

83 Ways To Become a Better Person (List 1)

Are you able to say that today you are a better person than yesterday every day of your life?

That’s all. Nothing grandiose. Nothing lofty or ambitious. Nothing to get all anxious about or make big plans for. Just a little better person than you were yesterday?

And it doesn’t matter where you start or how far you may be from where you want to end up. It doesn’t matter today if you are nothing like the person you want to eventually become. You can do something
every single day to be a better person than yesterday and the sum of these small steps add up to unbelievably giant leaps, baby!

Here’s the simple magic formula:
1. Be a little better person today than yesterday.
2. Do this every day.
3. Check in with yourself at the end of the year.

You might find out that you have actually done something quite grandiose and lofty in hindsight.

Small tiny things add up, just like the grocery bill adds up to a giant sum and baffles us every time, so will these small steps push you gently in the direction of your intended destination. And going gently in that right direction is far more appealing than going in a mad rush in a hundred wrong directions only to turn around and make up for lost time. So go gently.

Since we are all on the same journey, I put together 83 specific, smart and savvy ways we can become a better person one day at a time. But today I will be posting 25. Tomorrow i continue with the next list. I’ve done all of these but I keep refining me through massive repetition. Here goes:

Remember: pick just ONE every day and do it. Not 3. Not 10. Just One. But do it every day. Every single day. No holidays on this one, darlin’! Ready? Let’s go!

25 Ways to Become a Better Person

1. Be kind to a stranger and don’t just do it because it’s on this list.
2. Eat raw foods . Raw vegetables. Raw fruits. Raw nuts. Raw chocolate.
3. Make eye contact. With a smile.
4. Read a book. This one may reappear. I can’t help it if it’s so freaking important and so unbelievably ignored by masses.
5. Look up something on Wikipedia and learn about it.
6. Learn 3 words in a foreign language that you like.
7. Learn to count to 10 a foreign language you find impossible to learn.
8. Say no to the ones who abuse your time and mean it.
9. Do something that scares you but don’t be a fool when choosing what it is either.
10. Cook something delicious for someone you love. Don’t let them get used to the idea!
11. Visit the animal shelter and give the pups a cuddle even if you can’t bring them home.
12. Offer to help when it’s least expected.
13. Write a book. Then publish it. And please stop saying “I’m not a writer!”
14. Don’t say “I can’t” for 24 hours. 48 if you can help it.
15. Do yoga but don’t settle for a type of yoga you can’t stand. Yoga is like clothing. Find a yoga that fits who you are and you won’t want to take it off!
16. Read another book.
17. Help get a resistant member of your family or friends online. They are missing out.
18. Travel . It’s more accessible than ever before.
19. Don’t believe the hype. Set your own standards.
20. Say “I don’t know but I will find out!” instead of pretending to know.
21. Let go of friendships that have run their course.
22. Put firm boundaries in place with your mom. This doesn’t apply to those under 18!
23. Disappoint your parents if it means you will do something you love. Same condition as #22.
24. Ask for help, without shame, without apology, without fuss but also without entitlement.
25. Give that inner critique the cold shoulder and get back in charge of your self-esteem.

Stay tuned for the next list..

Photo credit: Pinterest

2 Ways for Finding Purpose in Life When You’re at Rock Bottom

Life is an ugly, formless clump of mistakes and pain that can be molded with deliberate and careful hands to make something so beautiful from something so ugly, it is almost impossible to comprehend.

However, many people, maybe including yourself, believe this clump of life can be molded without an external force. However, there are two aspects of your life you have to change from this moment on to mold your own work of art.

1. Take Responsibility For Your Life

First, you must take full responsibility for everything that is present in your life.

You must take full responsibility for the good that arrives, but also the painful and inconvenient. You must be able to accept the fact that you have played a part in everything wrong that is in your life. You must figure out how to fix it.

You have to ask your self, “What can I do right now, at this very moment, to create a better tomorrow for myself, my family, and my future?”

You have two decisions to make. To either be the victim or accept the responsibility for yourself, but you already know you only have one choice.

Purpose in life

2. Win The War, Not Just The Battle

Second, you cannot win the war against the world if you can’t win the war against your own mind.

You have to dismiss the illusion that you cannot overcome this moment because of the perception in your mind. This very moment may be the lowest moment in your life.

You must remember that if this is the lowest moment in your life, then there is only up from here.

You must remind yourself that you matter. Life is going to hit you in the mouth, and you must remember that the wound will heal over time. It may take a week or a decade, but you must remember that the pain will subside and be replaced by the happiness you deserve.

Source: AUSTIN SHELLHAMMER

The Vital Mindset Shift to Progress Your Life

What would you pursue if it was somehow guaranteed that you would be successful?

What’s stopping you from going after your dreams?

If you’re like most other people, the answer is probably fear: fear that you won’t be good enough, you’ll never have enough money, fear that your efforts won’t be rewarded, and the list goes on.

Succumbing to fear is like living with a bad mental cold: it will clog you up and stop you from living your best life. Nothing blocks creativity and potential more than fear.

As human beings, it’s in our nature to avoid anything that causes us to feel fear or discomfort. We take mental and physical “detours” all the time, re-routing ourselves so we don’t have to face fear, and we do this so automatically that it often happens on a subconscious level.

In our fast-paced culture, we are very used to getting what we want quickly and conveniently. This has conditioned us to be a little wimpy—sometimes a lot wimpy.

The truth is, we usually give up way too quickly.

No one is immune to this fear. Let me use myself as an example: I love art, but I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in months. Why? Because I’m scared of failing! It seems like everywhere I look, I see incredible speed drawers, amazingly detailed paintings, and “how to” art videos that make the artist look like they’re not struggling with the creative process whatsoever.
Now, when I sit down to paint a picture, spend 3 hours on it, and still don’t feel like it’s all that great, I get frustrated, ashamed, and fearful. So, I stop…and the fear of “what if I never get better” sets in, paralyzing me and causing me to reach for the TV remote instead of picking up a paintbrush, because that way I won’t be reminded of the fact that I’m not as good of an artist as I want to be.

The Vital Mindset Shift to Progress Your Life

However, I have learned something that I know from experience helps a great deal when pushing myself to grow, and that is having a growth mindset.

If you’ve never heard of it, a growth mindset is basically the opposite of a “fixed” mindset.

Growth Mindset: Believing that greater effort yields greater results. You get good at something because you work hard. Or, in the words of Einstein…

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer – Albert Einstein.

Fixed Mindset: Believing that if someone is better than you at something, it must mean they were “born that way,” and there’s really nothing you can do about it. A fixed mindset would have you believe that your success and skills are “capped,” and you have all the talents now that you ever will.

Note: this is ALWAYS false—don’t fall for it!

2 Reasons to Choose a Growth Mindset & Push Through Your Discomfort

When you have a growth mindset and push through your discomfort, a couple of things will happen:

  1. You will realize that it’s not as hard as you thought. We over-dramatize things that we’re afraid of. Pushing through fear will help you realize that the fear of something is not nearly as bad as the thing itself. Of course, it still may be hard—maybe even very hard—but you’ll realize that you can take baby steps into progress, and baby steps aren’t so scary.
  2. You will get more ideas. It’s good to work creatively under a broad range of emotions. Each emotion “flavors” your work. For instance, what would happen if you only cooked with one spice? It might still taste good, but it would only ever reflect that one flavor. If you cooked with a broad range of spices, however, you’d get a broad range of flavors. Even tough emotions, like fear, can help you achieve something new and interesting. You just have to work despite the fear!

The truth is, fear will always be a part of life. There are famous performers who still get nervous before going on stage every single time. But they keep doing it anyway, because it’s worth it, and even though the fear might not entirely go away, they get used to feeling it and pushing through despite it.

Think about what happens when you lift heavy weights. It’s tough, and it makes your arms sore. It’s not comfortable. But, if you do it everyday, you will get stronger, and it won’t be as uncomfortable. Does the weight get lighter? Nope. It remains just as heavy as it ever was. The changing factor is you getting stronger!

So, even though fear will always be a part of life, the more we deal with it, the stronger we will become.

The happiness you will get from pursuing your passion and charging through the fear will outweigh any discomfort by a landslide.

Plus, fear doesn’t last forever. It’s usually the initial feeling you get before launching yourself out of your comfort zone, but as you get stronger, you will see for yourself that you can do hard things.

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Comparing Your Life to Other People’s Lives – It’s a Trap!

Man comparing two measurements

It’s easy to get caught in thinking you are the only one facing a momentary challenge in your life or long-running adversity, the only one with unanswered questions, or the only one who hasn’t figured out how to create the balance, health, relationships, finances or career success you want.

But that’s actually not the case.

Everyone faces challenges!

Everyone has unanswered questions of some sort. Everyone is working out how to create what they want. Everyone is evolving in their own unique way, at their own pace.

One way you are conditioned to feel like you’re the only one with challenges is that you are led to believe everyone else “has got it together” because most people are only showing the sanitized and happy aspects of their life to the world – on social media, in social situations, and in conversation.

Many people keep the dark moments to themselves or sharing only with those trusted and loved people closest to them. That is natural and of course in many cases quite appropriate. But it leads you into a false perspective of your own situation in relation to others.

You can easily get lost in comparison, and end up feeling alone and isolated in your challenges from this perspective. Comparing your worst day with someone else’s best day will never bring you peace.C

No one else on this planet is going to unfold in their life like you are. No one. No one else is uniquely like you. You cannot be compared. What you most need to understand when you go into comparison mode in your mind, is that you channel all of your energy away from your own creative processes. Instead of focusing your thoughts and feelings and actions on creating outcomes for yourself, you focus all of your attention to someone else and what they are creating for themselves. This leaves you no power and it is also a complete waste of your precious energy.

Just because unhealthy comparison doesn’t serve you, does not mean you can’t genuinely observe and admire the success of another person. This is actually uplifting – feeling joy for all they are being and creating. You may well feel inspired into the ongoing possibilities for yourself by witnessing them flourishing. You may see opportunities to learn from what they are doing. You may be able to apply that learning in your own path, in your own unique way, aligned with your passions, inspirations, and intuition, to aid your success.

And… you will always clearly know the difference between this form of positive observation and learning, versus pure painful comparison. The former leaves you feeling uplifted and excited, and the latter leaves you feeling sad, frustrated and deflated.

Listen to the messages your feelings are giving you.

5 Ways to Fight Negativity & Steal Back Your Life

In recent studies, negativity is shown to form the same functional properties as addiction. Research shows these Negaholics are driven mainly by the inability to lower or release stress.

Blond man fighting negativity

Excessive stress creates a sensation of overwhelm. When people become overwhelmed it can ignite what is called the “Hole in the Soul” syndrome where people think, behave, and believe they are insufficient to meet the standard demands of life.

“A negative mind will never get you a positive life.”

As their stress escalates, these feelings of inadequacy begin to expand while their positivity begins to shrink. If you struggle with negativity, I have listed 5 ways anyone can fight off negativity and steal back their life.

5 Ways to Fight Negativity & Steal Back Your Life:

  1. Take control of your brain: Your mind is powerful. You choose positive or negative. It’s time to shift.
  2. Stop Watching the News: Today’s media is 95% negative, get away from it.
  3. Write a list of everything you’re thankful for: No matter how big or small
  4. Stop using negative words: Replace can’t with a can, won’t with a will, no with yes, tired with excited, and frustrated with understanding
  5. Have fun every day: Plan one thing per day that’s fun. Go to a restaurant, play Fifa, go to the movies, go to the gym, or take a hike. But do something you love each day. You deserve it.

Have you struggled with negativity? What has helped you fight back? Let me know in the comments below. Share

Don’t Wait To Be Inspired, Don’t Only Act On Passion

The feeling of being “inspired” is very often just finding something brilliant, and trying to emulate it. The rush and desire makes us manic and driven because we think we are actively becoming greater than ourselves. We find something we perceive as so great, we want others to perceive us – our take, our idea, our belief, our creation of it – similarly. But the foundation of that is what we are not. That’s why we have to find it, that’s why we run dry. It is not inherent or internal – at least the whirlwind, overwhelming kind of inspiration isn’t.

Acting without feeling inspired is us saying what we naturally know, feel and think, and this is vulnerability. When we believe that we must be inspired by an idea to create something of it, it is a mechanism to avoid placing ourselves bare into something that other people can judge.

The same goes for the idea of “passion.” Passion is the crazy, grandiose, brilliant idea for the epic novel, but it is not the every day work that gets it written. Ryan Holiday just wrote about this idea, in that Passion Is The Problem, Not The Solution.

Passion does not get the work done. Passion does not sustain you for more than a moment’s worth, neither does inspiration. It is not what gets your heads on the floor and your fingers on the keyboard and your mind in a space of determination. Please take my word for this.

But we’ve based most of our cultural aspirations on these ideas. That is to say, we’re supposed to choose what we feel consistently strongly about, and pursue it madly and wildly and at any cost. It’s why, I think, so many people feel lost. Because they don’t feel compelled by a single, conveniently-career-transmutable activity or idea (and most people aren’t supposed to… I have a hard time believing that “life purpose,” if it exists, is an isolated experience or job or action.)

You’ve probably heard (and read countless articles and studies) on why “following your passion” is the worst career advice you can get (“passion” is something you build; it’s what comes after you do something you enjoy repeatedly and gain skill and accolade, etc.) It’s not something that comes over you one day, at least not to any conceivable end.

But we don’t want to misstep. We want to base our decisions on something solid, on a singular purpose, on the truth gauge we’re promised we have. We are basing our life choices on feelings that other things give us, rather than the instincts we naturally have, and we’re calling that intuition.

There’s nothing wrong with the idea that you should do something each day that is fulfilling, but there is something dangerously misleading about the idea that you should feel passionately inspired each day (it insinuates there is no work, or rather, work shouldn’t feel like work.)

This makes happiness “good” and anything else “bad.” This makes the spectrum of emotions that human beings are meant to experience obsolete. This closes us off and stoppers our progress. This is how we induce our own suffering, by believing that the things that are “meant to be,” that are actions of passion and divine grandeur are going to make us feel consistently “good.”

If we were “meant” to feel good all the time, it wouldn’t be such a struggle. And we create that struggle for ourselves. Every time we look to something else to give us that high, we externalize our purpose. We step over vulnerability, we idealize a certain feeling, a certain job, a certain partner, and that’s it, it becomes the end goal, the only goal, the only way we’ll be content.

Passion is not what gets the job done. It is not what sustains a relationship or a career. Inspiration will not “find you” every single day. If you believe it’s supposed to, you’ll only be a failure in your own mind.

These things are drops, not constants. They are sparks, not flames.

You can prove this to yourself by the sheer fact that in retrospect, you probably realize you do not value the isolated moments of inspired thought as much as you do the work and love you consciously choose to put into them every single day to create something out of them. You value what you make, what you choose. Not what happens upon you.

What do you guys think about this article on passion and inspiration. Please let us know your thoughts and also share on your platforms too.

You Choose, You Decide

Continuation from the last post..

You have determined your entire life up to, now by the choices and decisions you have made or failed to make. If there is anything in your life that you don’t like, you are responsible. If there is anything that you are unhappy about, it is up to you to take the necessary steps to change and improve it so that it is more to your liking.

As the President of your own personal services, you are completely responsible for everything you do and for the results of what you do. You are responsible for the consequences of your actions and your behaviours. You are where you are and what you are today because you have decided to be there.

In a large sense, you are earning today exactly what you have decided to earn, no more and no less. If you are not happy with your current income, decide to eaen more. Set it as a goal, make a plan, and get busy doing what you need to do to earn what you want to earn.

As the President of your own career and life, as the architect of your own destiny, you are free to make your own decisions. You are the boss. You are in charge.

Be motivated and inspired to want for more….

Stop Blaming Others

Make it an every-day lullaby and refuse to blame anyone for anything – past, present or future. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. “

From this point forward, refuse to make excuses or to justify your behaviours. If you make a mistake, say, “I’m sorry, ” and get busy rectifying the situation. Everytime you blame someone else or make excuses, you give your power away. You feel weakened and diminished. You feel negative and angry inside. Refuse to do it.

Take charge of your life!!!

The Incredible Power of Taking Risks in Life

There are many ways to change your life for the better. And one simple, yet seemingly scary choice we can make is to be taking more risks in life.

The problem with this path to positive change is that most of us fear taking risks!

may fear rejection, failure and change. We may fear uncertainty.

We think about taking a risk and our innate fight/flight response kicks in.

On top of that, many of us have a warped relationship with fear, where we think fear is bad, and that we should stay away form it.

But actually fear isn’t bad, and neither is risk!

In fact, risk is the very thing that can make us feel alive, and the fear we get with taking risks is just a feeling message to tell us that we’re going outside of our familiar comfort zone.

What’s the worst that could happen?

For many of us, it’s all too easy to get stuck into a routine that provides comfort and safety. But, we have to ask ourselves, are we truly living?

Yes, some risks shouldn’t be taken because the consequences could be disastrous. Howeveyourself. a little bit of discernment, we can take calculated risks that will benefit us regardless of the outcome.

Say for instance, you see an attractive person in a coffee shop, and you want to say hi. What’s the worst that could happen? They’re not interested, but you took that risk which ultimately didn’t hurt you in the end. And doing so likely boosted your courage. So no regrets! It’s all about the attitude you take.

Or there are more serious risks that you could be taking, such as leaving the job you aren’t so thrilled about, or moving to a new country. Again, what is the worse that could happen? If things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, at least you learnt a lot more about yourself and the world in the process. Plus, you can always go home and go back to the same type of job if you want to!

Risks help to build confidence & open up possibilities

By taking risks, you give yourself permission to try things out, to learn, to fail, to grow and to explore. You get to test your limits and go beyond what you believed was possible. You can to go after the things in life you really want!

By doing this, you naturally build up your self-confidence, growing as a person and opening up a whole new world for yourself.

By taking risks you get better at knowing what you want

Risks helps you to get clear on what you want out of life.

They make you more consciously aware of what is important to you, what you want and don’t want, as part of your planning and decision making process.

Just the level of clarity you get from planning to take a risk helps you to feel more empowered and in control, as the leader of your life and the master of your own destiny.

Risk taking builds self-trust

When you take a risk, you generally do so with awareness after balancing your logic and intuition, to decide what is best for you. By taking action aligned to your own inner compass in this way, you build a level of trust in yourself.

And trusting yourself and knowing when to take action on something you really want only serves to further elevate your self-confidence.

Risks make life exciting and colorful

What would happen if we never took risks?

Life would become monotonous and boring. Nobody wants a boring life, yet it’s such an easy option to resort to, in order to stay safe and in our comfort zones.

It boils down to making a decision.

Although your heart may be racing, and your palms many be sweating, think about what would happen if you didn’t take the chance?

Would you regret the missed opportunity?

We only have this one life, why not stretch yourself to new heights! You never know what could happen… and isn’t that exciting?

Take action starting from today

You don’t need to jump head first into a tonne of risks, but you can practise the art of taking one small risk each day.

It can be as simple as saying hello to someone new, learning a new skill or applying for a new job. Whatever your comfort threshold is, start testing it out each and every day.

Because this is where real growth happens. Ultimately, this risk-taking habit alone will transform your life!

Beliefs That Will Free Your Mind From Negativity

A quick one with 10 solid points.

1. Life may not be easy, but it could be great. Even though we may be faced with a lot of unfortunate events that we were not prepared for, we could still be happy living in an imperfect life if we shift our mindset. Simply by knowing that life’s ups require life’s downs, we will be better-equipped to embrace life’s predicaments.

2. People who disappoint us are merely lessons. They were there to teach us something about ourselves or about life. The biggest changes often come from the biggest disappointments. That’s how we grow and evolve and make better choices in the future.

3. We can’t change our past but we can change our future. We are not defined by what we did, we are defined by what we choose to become. We are capable of changing our lives any time if we take responsibility for our lives and proactively work on changing ourselves.

4. Assumptions and judgments are the root of all negativity. Instead of jumping to conclusions or making false assumptions we should live day by day and let time unfold the real answers we are looking for. Consuming our minds with assumptions will only lead to confusion and frustration.

5. Just because something good ends, doesn’t mean something better won’t begin. Our life is in constant motion and progression – so are we. Often good things end because they are no longer right for us, and we have to wait and be hopeful that life has better things in store for us.

6. Start each day with a thankful heart. We should be thankful for our health, our bodies, and for the gift of life in general. The most powerful way to get rid of negativity is to be thankful for the things we have that we take for granted on a daily basis.

7. Some things take time. Stay patient. Just because something isn’t happening for us right now, doesn’t mean it will never happen. Timing makes a huge difference and we have to stay patient and keep asking the universe for what we want and believing that it will happen when it’s supposed to.

8. Without the dark, we would never see the stars. As long as we don’t stay in the dark, good things can come out of really bad situations and we can even come out of it better and stronger people. Sometimes it takes the worst pain to bring out the best in us.

9. The people we surround ourselves with matter more than we think. If we surround ourselves with people who lift us higher and see great potential in us, we will be able to get rid of negativity faster. Don’t spend time with people who thrive on drama, they will strip away your happiness.

10. Only a positive mind can give us a positive life. Negative thoughts are like weeds, they keep growing if we don’t root them out. That’s why we have to keep thinking positively and focus on the things we can control and get rid of all the thoughts that are holding us back one by one.

Tips: Dealing With Perfectionism

You already know if you’re a perfectionist.

It’s likely to be a word you use to describe yourself.

A part of you might enjoy the fact you are a perfectionist, as in many ways it seems to support your success. You never let things slip. You only produce the absolute best quality in anything you do. You have a reputation for excellence. And when things are perfect, you feel great!

But, if you’re a perfectionist, you also know that you don’t always get things done in a timely way, as you spend A LOT of time making sure things are perfect before you proceed. You also know that you find it stressful when things in your personal or professional life are not the way you think it should be. And while you know your high standards lead to some success, you also know that you’re holding yourself back from achieving greater goals.

In proactively dealing with perfectionism it doesn’t mean you have to let go of your standards. It just means loosening up the reigns a little bit, giving yourself more room to be human!

Here are 9 practical little tips you can use to ease up and allow yourself to breathe, to be, to play with life, while still achieving great results and feeling good about yourself and what you do.

Source: Daily Positive