What I Wish Everyone Knew About  The Reasons Why Being An Introvert Is Your Best Asset.

I have heard it, too.
“You are so shy!”
“You’re like church mouse over there!”
“Oh… you wouldn’t like it… you have to talk and meet new people.”

Here is the thing – we are living in a society in which extroversion is glorified. It seems as if all those who are successful and have it made are the ones who easily and effortlessly put themselves out there and make themselves heard. While there are those great attributes of those who are extroverted, introverts have some great characteristics tied to their quiet, poised nature. This quality is one to be proud of – even celebrated. In fact, here are 6 reasons why being an introvert might just be your best asset!

1. You’re calm nature is inviting to people

Whether you realize it or not, this does not go unnoticed. Being the one who “takes it all in” in an upbeat environment is very calming. This invites people toward you, and subliminally they remember it about you as well.

2. Less talking = more observing

It seems to be so simple, yet it is so valuable. Speaking less gives your mind the ability to take in and process what is around you. Taking note of little details someone else might have missed. Being more present with someone, living in the now – it’s incredible just how much someone can miss by being lost in their mind and thinking about what to say next – instead of just being.

“Silence is a source of great strength.” – Lao Tzu

3. You get to know yourself more

This (and I cannot stress this enough) is important. Self-awareness is the key to serving yourself, giving your body/mind/soul what it needs. Spending more time with your thoughts – really thinking and understanding what you are perceiving will benefit you. It takes time to know yourself to a high extent. It is something to be proud of, because not everyone can say they truly know who they are.

4. You know how to listen

Hearing someone is one thing; listening to them is another. Active listening is proper, fully engaged and observant listening to not just the words they say but the way they say it, their body language, it all ties into true active listening. The whole reason someone might be talking to you is to get an idea or feeling across, but so much can be missed just by needing to get a word in. Introverts have the active listening trait in the bag – which is likely the reason so many of us are the people our friends and family vent to when they just need to be heard.

5. You can be independent

Value your independence, introvert! For many of us, working alone was never a negative thing. From a young age in the beginning of grade school when the teacher would say, “work independently or with a partner” I happily went right on my way to completing the work all alone. It is from that start that we are able to train our “independence muscle” that so many people lack. Now, as a 22-year-old working girl, I can handle large projects by breaking them into pieces, working them out and then presenting it to my team. I am observant and insightful when learning new things. Another thing to be proud – not many can say the same.

6. It is attractive

Being an introvert, most of us will seldom boast about our accomplishments. That modesty is such an attractive quality, but it is often brushed under the rug. This modesty is likely why many us us thrive in human services fields – working for a cause, not an applause. But think about how often you hear someone going on and on about what they have done, what they are doing and what they are going to do next. While it is great to celebrate those achievements, keeping some things on the down low is such an appealing trait to have.

Rejoice introverts! Your nature is something to be proud of, and it is just how we are wired. Of all the successful introverts in the world (i.e. Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks, Bill Gates) YOU are one of them. Embrace these qualities and accept them whole-heatedly .

Your introversion benefits you in more ways than you would think.

I will like to know what you think about this topic today. Drop your comments.

I want to appreciate Rachel Snodgrass as a guest on this piece from daily positive.

3 Ways To Make Introverts And Intuitives Really Feel Heard

For me, there is nothing more rewarding, erotic, beautiful, intimate or validating than feeling understood. If I feel heard and accepted, my whole body and spirit warm to life. Love flows from me. I am energized, inspired and at peace.

Understanding gives me courage and energy to be my highest self — someone who sees the potential and good in everyone and desires to give back.

Introverts and intuitive people really appreciate understanding. As an introvert, feeling known and accepted means less energy leakage when expressing myself. More ease and comfort around who I am. I won’t have to explain my need for solitude or my sensitivity to stimulation. It’s all OK. I can let my guard down and love freely. I can breathe and glow quietly.

As an intuitive, feeling heard and understood is akin to nirvana. There is nothing so glorious as participating in a conversation where participants effortlessly ignite and inspire each other. People bashing, limiting criticism and small talk are nowhere to be found. Open-minded discussion wraps its arms around us and makes us feel safe.

Part of the appeal of the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory, is its philosophy of learning about different types of personalities and appreciating each of them for what they offer. It’s not divisive even though it separates people into 16 different types. It’s communal and encourages understanding. No type is better or worse.

The Right/Wrong and Better/Worst dichotomies we love to employ, leave one side feeling misunderstood or maligned. Understanding leaves the door open for overlap, grey area and acceptance.

How do we get past the knee-jerk reaction of, I’m right and you’re wrong, and move to understanding?

1. Empathy
“Empathy underlies virtually everything that makes society work—like trust, altruism, collaboration, love, charity.” — Dr. Bruce D. Perry, Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential–and Endangered
The essence of empathy is to stand in another’s shoes and feel what it’s like there. Unlike sympathy, with empathy you feel sorry with someone versus for someone.

I craved empathy last week after the unexpected death of an old friend. I had just heard the news and was sad. I told my son and a friend. I got an, I’m sorry and a, That’s life from each of them respectively. What I really wanted was a hug or further interest in the story. Even better, would have been validation of my emotions and an acknowledgement that they had felt the same way at one time. Empathy would have made me feel understood and heard.

2. Active listening
Active listening is the art of being present while others talk. Instead of thinking of what we are going to say in response to their words we listen and reflect what we heard. The key is not to launch into how their words affected you but you can empathize with them by saying, I would feel the same way if that happened to me.
Active listening shows you are interested in hearing the other person’s perspective and not just waiting to share your own. You truly want to understand their world.
I, admittedly, struggle with this. I am striving to improve this skill. I have a tendency to want to fix or show understanding by relaying a similar situation I experienced. It’s sort of empathy but I can do better in my listening. I also have to be careful not to project too many of my feelings onto others. They are not always the same.

3. Validation
Validation goes beyond acknowledging someone’s experience. It says your experience is real and it matters. Not only do I see your perspective, but I appreciate it.

Where can introverts and intuitive people find understanding?

Sometimes we don’t experience that life-giving understanding in our immediate relationships and have to find it elsewhere.

In the virtual world, I hope you find my website a safe space to visit, read and feel known. All of the resources listed under the Resources tab are wonderful sources of understanding. I also recommend the group, Intuitive Awakening, on Facebook as a haven for your esoteric mind.

10 Confessions From An Introvert

1. I hate the stigma attached to the word “introvert.”

That means a weird, socially awkward person we all want to avoid. To me, an “introvert” is someone who is selective about who they surround themselves with. It’s someone who is comfortable with being by themselves without feeling insecure. We value quality over quantity.

2. I love meeting new people, but only if you approach me first.

If I have to make the first move, it’ll most likely never happen. I’m silently imagining every possible thing that could go wrong and by the time I work up enough courage to do it, I’ve thoroughly freaked you out by constantly glancing your way and you’ve already sprinted for the door.

3. Small Talk for me is not Small Talk to a normal person.

I get deep real fast. I genuinely want to know your life story, what makes you happy, and what makes you angry. Don’t be surprised if I ask you how you really feel about your parents’ divorce within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. I’m not a gossip; I just genuinely want to connect with you.

4. We have a heightened sense for a fake or insincere personality.

Our quiet and reserved nature allows us so much time to observe. I see your fake smile and can tell you just lied to that person. I hear you repeat the same exact joke to every single person you run into. I’m onto you, extrovert.

5. If you point out my introverted-ness, I will silently hold it against you forever and also I probably hate you.

As much as we try to embrace our introverted-ness, many of us are still very insecure about it. You asking an introvert why they’re so quiet only makes things worse. Please stop making us all feel so awkward with this obvious observation.

6. Dear Hair Dresser: Please don’t make me talk the entire time I’m in your chair.

I’m sure you’re a very nice and interesting person, but after a certain point, I simply run out of things to talk to you about. I’m out of witty comments. I can’t think of any more normal questions to ask you. And my stupid comments will begin to emerge (see #9).

7. My ideal Friday night is Netflix binging with ONE or TWO friends.

I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to exhaust myself by socializing with dozens of other people. Can’t we just throw on some sweatpants, make an ice cream run, and sit on the couch?

8. Please never make me to go a club.

What is clubbing even? Why would we go somewhere where it’s so loud I can’t even hear you? I’ll be in the quiet corner trying to engage in meaningful conversation with the other introverts if you need me.

9. Networking events = death.

There is literally nothing I hate more than having to meet new people in an environment specifically created for that purpose. I realize that’s entirely the point of networking events, but I feel so much pressure to make myself sound and look like the most interesting person you’ve ever met. I can only be charming for so long! Pass me a glass of wine and let me mentally prepare myself for this first.

10. If I say something stupid, kindly pretend I said nothing at all.

Rest assured knowing that my dumb comment/question will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ll lie awake at night replaying the entire conversation in my head. I’ll think of a million other things I could have said instead. I’ll vow never to speak again! This is where my quietness comes from. It’s a vicious cycle.