Dealing with Grief and Finding Hope

Nobody wants to die but want to go to heaven.
Death is inevitable. But death─ sudden or expected─ always brings sorrow and grief to the ones who are left behind. However, life still marches on. It is hard, but we must remember that as humans we have an immense ability to cope with anything that life brings. Although we all have different levels of coping abilities, there are several basic and universal steps to dealing with grief and finding hope again…

Allow The Feelings To Flow: Losing someone you love will conjure all unimaginable emotions within you, sorrow, regret, guilt, pain, grief, heartbreaks, misery, anger, sadness and many more. Feeling these emotions all at once can be extremely difficult. It is quite normal, so let them flow. You do not need to suppress them. Cry all you want. With time and allowing grief to be released, it will become less painful. It is an important process that will help you in dealing with grief and accepting your loss.

Talk About It When You Can: Talking about the death of your loved ones can be a way of remembering them and can help you understand what happened. It will give you the opportunity to start the healing process. Denying the death of a loved one can result in isolation and you pushing away your family and friends.

Find A Support System: Coping with a loved one’s death is never easy; especially if you are dealing with it alone. You need support coming from your family and friends so that you can find comfort and overcome grief faster. Moreover, while your family and friends can be your greatest source of support for overcoming the death of someone, but it is also advisable that you take advice from professional people when you find all the emotions and pain too hard to handle. Psychologists give professional advice and develop strategies according to your needs to get you through the grieving process.

Understand The Grieving Process: Dealing with grief and bereavement is a process. It is quite important to allow yourself to experience every stage of the grieving process for you to completely heal. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief in her book titled “On Death and Dying.” These stages are not necessarily experienced in order and some stages can be revisited. These five stages are:

  • Denial: Dealing with death can be overwhelming. It is an incomprehensible experience and you can find it hard to believe that your loved one is gone. You continue to deny that it is not happening and there is no way that your loved one left you.
  • Anger: As you realize the reality of your situation you begin to feel angry. Your anger or fury might be directed to your loved one for leaving you, to the doctors for not doing their job and healing your loved one, to God who took your loved one or even to yourself for maybe not being a better person to your loved one. All of this is quite normal and will pass.
  • Bargaining: It is quite common for an individual to start bargaining or negotiating with a higher power, like God. Do not be surprised or think that you are crazy when you start making deals with God like: “I will be better, just please give him back to me.”
  • Depression: The sorrow and overwhelming sadness you feel after the death of a loved one is normal. It is common to feel that your life will never be the same again. This feeling does not last forever and will pass with time.
  • Acceptance: This stage does not necessarily mean that you accept or come to terms that your loved one is already dead. It does not mean that if you are already at this stage, you will not revisit the other stages above. But rather, it means that the pain and grief of losing someone you love will reduce and become more manageable.

Celebrate Life: You need to mourn the death of your loved ones, but there comes a time when you need to turn from the mourning toward a new stage, of celebrating life again. Understanding that death is inevitable and that we will all die someday will give you an opportunity to live your life to the fullest. Remember that your life does not stop when someone you love passes away. Ask yourself this: “Would he or she be happy seeing me like this forever because they passed?” Cry as much as you need to, but know that your family and friends are still there for you, ready to walk forward and to live life fully with you now. Celebrate the fact that you are living.

Preserve Precious Memories: Someone so special to you might be gone but their memories stay. Keep all photographs, things he or she gave you, or create a memorial like planting a tree to remember your loved one. This will help you keep all the memories you shared together and overcome your loss.

Final Thoughts: It always feels so unfair when someone you love passes away, but that does not mean you have to stop living. God created us, human beings, to be strong and to survive anything. So, grieve as much as you need to, and remember you will be able to stand up and smile again. After all, your loved ones may not have stayed with you, but the memories you have with them will forever stay in your heart.

I can testify to each and every point stated here. I don’t know about you but if you have anyone facing the difficulty of not passing through grief and lack hope. Please share this with them.

Have a blessed day!!!

By: Brian Zeng

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    Yet There Is Hope

    Why do I love what I hate to do?
    Why is there such strong attraction?
    To that which wages war with my soul,
    And would seek to cause death and destruction?
    Why is there such a strong longing for,
    The things that I know are so wrong?
    My fight seems to be, without much relief,
    In a world where I truly don’t belong.

    Are there others out there, who feel the pull,
    Of enticements the world throws their way?
    Or am I the only weakened warrior,
    The only sheep that has gone far astray.

    I cry, beg and plead and I sense the deep need,
    To stop the dark path that I’m treading,
    If I were a surgeon, I would operate,
    And cut out the cancerous spreading,
    Oh wretched man that I am!
    Who could ever save me, who has strayed so far from the path?
    Still there is hope worth clinging to,
    To be saved from God’s powerful wrath.

    Could it be true, that God Himself,
    Was subjected to that which we face?
    That He suffered and died and was brought back to life,
    To redeem us from sin’s every trace.

    Oh, if it is true, what a glorious thought,
    To be called the King’s own special friend.

    To live with Him in sinless paradise,
    And to know life that will never end.

    There is a grand mystery in the great trinity,
    A love that’s both fierce and all wise.

    For when we are weak, then He is strong,
    And blessings often come in disguise.

    So if you ever feel like quitting the race,
    Remember He’s there right beside you.

    Quietly, lovingly cheering you on,
    Your Champion just waiting to guide you.

    5 Things To Do When You’re Tempted To Worry

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    • PLACE YOUR TRUST IN GOD: Believe that God will take care of your situation, in His perfect way and timing.
    • HUMBLE YOURSELF: Honestly come before God and let Him know you can’t do it on your own. Recognize that you need His help to have success in any area of your life
    • CAST YOUR CARES ON HIM: God wants us to throw our cares and worries onto Him and allow Him to carry the weight of them. (1 Peter 5:6-7)
    • CHOOSE TO THINK AND SAY POSITIVE, FAITH-FILLED STATEMENTS FROM GOD’S WORD: For example: “The Lord is going to take care of this. It doesn’t matter what it looks like- I believe God is working!”
    • ENJOY YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU WAIT: Enter into God’s rest, knowing He will come through!

    Worry is truly a waste of time and energy. I am in the journey of making myself happy, peaceful, and joy to battle worry from my life. What i do is to focus on what I have and grateful for, avoid argument, enjoy my moment privately by playing game or watching a series movie. My new character has sparked a lot of controversies and confusion amongst my friends and fiance. They keep telling me have changed.

    I Laughed!!!

    Told my fiance this is the new me. I won’t allow the stress of the wedding, or any other thing steal my joy. I have put everything in God’s hands, let Him take control over all. She is still not convinced. But am trying to convince her we good.

    What am trying to say here is that we should never allow worry steal our joy. Whatever the issue of problem, cast your care to God, He will always answer and be there for you.

    Stay motivated, inspired and free today!!!

    Don’t Hope, Decide!!!

    While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Abuja, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.

    Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

    First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”

    Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

    While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

    After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

    For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?

    “Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”

    Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.

    I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”

    The man suddenly stopped smiling.

    He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”

    Hope For Elevation #inspiration

    There are countless stories of success that we can all read. Many of these stories highlight individuals who did not falter in their quest to become successful. Success, while open to differing interpretations, means that a person is able to succeed and attain their stated goal despite facing setbacks, roadblocks, hurdles, and obstacles along the way.

    However, success need not rest only with those we read about like Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, or Abraham Lincoln. There are countless stories of the everyday average person taking the bulls by the horns and moving forward in life even though many issues or circumstances may have initially stood in their way.

    Take you, for example. I’m sure you have desired to do something, or accomplish something that has looked like it could only be realized in your dreams. But, dreams never get it done. Dreams are only the beginning. You may in fact be facing a career mountain right now as you read this article. Well, you’re not alone. There are thousands upon thousands of people just like you all over the world.

    So, what do you do to climb the mountain, to break the barrier, and to move beyond a dream. The best dreams are those that come to fruition. How is this done?
    The advice of William Arthur Ward applies to this situation wherein he said, “Begin while others are procrastinating. Work while others are wishing.”

    Ward’s advice means that instead of waiting, procrastinating or putting off doing something, you do it; you take action. The greatest thief of life is procrastination. Procrastination is like sailing to that island we all know; “Someday Isle”. Someday you might get to it; someday you may be in the right position to finally take those first steps; someday when I am more secure, I’ll start my own business; or someday, when I find the right location, I’ll start my store. Guess what? Someday never comes because there are always going to be excuses you can find to avoid taking action. Every excuse means the inability or the lack of motivation to move forward. Is it because you have a fear of failure? Michelle C. Ustaszeski said, “It is sometimes hard to cross that bridge, try something new, or make that change. But once you do, you will realize that things are usually never as bad as we imagine.”

    Don’t let procrastination rule your life or be the roadblock that prevents you from climbing and reaching the peak of the mountain. And, know this: you are in control of procrastination. No one else is responsible for procrastinating except you. You might like to blame circumstances or difficult economic times but, in reality, it’s just like having a flat tire – there is no good time.

    Here’s another way of thinking about a dream you have yet to put into action. Just think of what may be written on your tombstone or spoken of at your eulogy. It may read something like this: A Dreamer of Dreams Not One Fulfilled. Or, words spoken at your eulogy that go like this: He was a dreamer. Oh, how he dreamed. But, sadly, he never got around to realizing any of his spectacular dreams. Oh, how sad.

    How to Have Hope in God’s Plan for Our Pain

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    ​It has been a hard season. For me, and for many of you too, I’m sure. Circumstances in my personal life, in my community, and in my country seem to keep getting more and more challenging, and I find myself struggling to keep my head up and my heart strong through it all.
    It feels hard to have hope sometimes, doesn’t it?

    When I think about holding on to hope despite discouragement and disappointment, I’m reminded of a verse in Proverbs.

    Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

    I know that heartsick feeling all too well, yet the promise of the second half of that verse seems harder to remember when I’m in the thick of hard circumstances.

    “At first glance, this line doesn’t seem like it could be a comfort to those of us with sick hearts,” writes Rachelle Windham in her Relevant article “God Has a Purpose in Your Disappointment .” The picture of the “tree of life” is more beautiful than we might realize though.

    “That same symbol is used in the Garden of Eden as the promise of provision, in Jeremiah 17 to illustrate a man whose trust is in the Lord, and in Revelation 22, which describes another tree of life that bears fruit in the new earth,” Windham writes.

    This verse sums up so much of the struggle of having hope– it requires wholehearted trust in the Lord’s goodness, faithfulness, provision, and his promises. It can be so hard to have faith in the unseen and to stick it out for the long haul, holding on to the belief of good and glorious things to come in the future.

    “Our hope will ultimately find their restful bliss in Christ and His redemptive plan,” Windham writes. “He alone has the power to forever wipe away tears. He alone has the ability to satisfy the deepest longings of our souls. Only Jesus can heal our sick hearts. The beautiful part is that the deferment only adds to the bliss of fulfillment. It’s worth the wait.”

    But how do we wait well? How do we hold on to hope faithfully? How do we trust God completely, especially when we are discouraged?

    Here are a few simple ideas for when life gets hard and you’re struggling to believe in God’s promises:

    • Journal your gratitude. Using a simple journal like this one will help turn your focus from your frustrations to gratefulness instead. Spend a few moments each day writing out a few things you are thankful for– even if they feel small and insignificant. Over time, your attitude will begin to shift and you’ll start to notice a difference in your outlook on life.
    • Spend time in prayer. If you aren’t sure where to start, consider doing a 30-day prayer challenge — the prompts and Scripture passages for each day will help you focus on different ways to draw near to the Lord as you communicate with him.
    • Share with a trusted friend. Sharing your struggles, doubts, fears, and worries with a loved one will help you to feel less alone in it all, and will bring comfort and encouragement. Often, others are going through similar things, and we’d never know unless we take the first step to share our own stories! Call up a friend today or get a coffee date on the calendar, and open up about what you’re going through. Chances are, you’ll both leave feeling more empowered to face the struggles of life knowing you have someone else in your corner.
    • Meditate on Scripture. The voices in our heads can get loud and overwhelming, but the more time we spend reading the Word of God , the more his truth will seep into our minds and hearts. Start with one verse to memorize (there is a whole collection of Bible verses on hope and spend time each day reading over it and reminding yourself of what the Bible says to be true.

    “No ache will be wasted,” Windham says. “It all has a purpose. If you feel like you’ve been hit with one disappointment after another, know this: God is going to cash all that in one day.”

    As we wait, through hard seasons and challenging circumstances, we can plant seeds of hope knowing that the Lord will bring them to life in abundance in his perfect timing. No matter what we are going through, no matter how we are feeling, the Lord has a purpose and a plan for it all. We can confidently have hope in him.

    Source: Christian Headlines