The Other Side Of Failure

By: Femi Oluyemi

I was surfing Facebook today and glanced at a friend’s post and write up that caught my eyes by the content and title “Failure”. I decided to share this with you guys. Hope it helps!!!

Failure is not a death sentence, failure is a catalyst that has the capacity to spur you into greatness. Please Fail forward……

There are two sides of a coin, the head and the tail which shows that life is in phases and men are in sizes. Growing up, I was opened to the idea that failure is a taboo. I remembered my father will say that “the person who came first doesn’t have two heads, he only has one like you”. So, I was always afraid of failure that I ended up not being the first in my school days. One day I sat down and asked myself the reason for my failure and what I was doing that was not right? I got some answers that set me on the path of success. I wouldn’t be sharing the answers I got with you now but latter. In my quest for answers I discovered some benefits of failure which changed my perception and response to failure. Soccer player Kyle Rote said that ” There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure” most times the reason for calling someone a failure is because a phase in the person’s life seem not to come out the way we expected and then there is a conclusion of failure. Failure is not just an event but a process. It is never final, but the refusal to try again is failure.It was Napoleon Hill that said “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” Here are reasons why failure is actually beneficial.

Failure is a teaching aid. One very story that inspires me on the subject of failure is that of Thomas Edison who never gave up until we had “light”.Do you know how many times he tried inventing the incandescent light?…almost a thousand times. In life it is not about what really happens to us that matter but how we react to those things is what counts.Back to Edison’s story when he was asked the question “how come you didn’t give up on that project after a thousand times you tried”? His response will shock you: He said “I only discovered a thousand times how not to make an incandescent light“.Failure can sometimes be an efficient teacher although it can be harsh.In our careers and our financial lives, learning what not to do is just as important as learning what to do. Sometimes you have to fail to learn how to win. Failure is a teaching aid that supplies experience and knowledge.

Failure Inspires Creative Solutions. Failure is a catalyst that spurs you to creative thinking. Nothing motivates a person like adversity. This adversity can be turned to advantage if you allow it to inspire you. You can either use the experience of failure to your advantage or to your disadvantage.One of the advantages is that it helps you to do better next time. Use it as a tool for determination in order to drive you towards success.

Failure builds strength of character. Anyone can be the hero when times are good but how do you measure up when the going gets tough? Failure can be a measuring tool for character. Do you crumble or stand your ground after failure?Take a moment to think about that before you consider yourself a failure. Going through a failure is a remarkable test of your character, your courage, your determination and your mind set. I truly believe that it isn’t until you’ve been through the worse that you can truly appreciate the best. Failure is like a bench mark because It will show you what you are made of. Les Brown said “When life knocks you down, try and land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up”.

Failure keeps you humble.
One of the enemy of success is complacency. We have read stories of once great persons,nations, cultures, and companies that banked on the notion that a successful past guarantees a successful future. But failure has a way of opening the eyes,it is evaluating and motivating. Leaders can’t lead from a place of arrogance. But, it’s a sad fact that success makes many people arrogant. Arrogance leads to under estimating the preparation required to succeed. Of course, showing up unprepared often leads to more failure. Humility is a powerful benefit of failure. We all need reminders that success can quickly disappear. By bearing failure with good grace, and feeling humbled by the experience, you don’t take success for granted. You’ll realize how fleeting it can be – and you’ll strive to work harder and smarter for it next time.

Failure Makes Us More Valuable Mentors.Experience they say is the greatest teacher. Most qualified teachers are those who have been through it all and know how to weather it all. One of the ways you acquire valuable experience is through failure. A large part of effective mentorship is helping to anticipate and avoid pitfalls, stay focused and respond to challenges with creativity and optimism.

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Repost: Pick Yourself Up And Bounce Back After Failure

Success is not always what it seems.

Steven Spielberg had his share of failures and setbacks before becoming successful. So did Walt Disney and Michael Jordan. Arianne Huffington, Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates experienced many ups and downs before they became successful in their respective fields. Henry Ford and Steve Jobs also had a bumpy journey to success. These icons are perfect examples that the road to success is anything but smooth.

Failure is inescapable and inevitable. There is no denying it or escaping it. No one is immune to it. No matter how good you are in your field or area of expertise, there is no guarantee or immunity against failure nor is there a surety that you’ll succeed the first time around or make it every single time.

Failure is bitter no matter how you see it. The sting of a letdown, the agony of experiencing disappointment and the pain of defeat is hard to endure. In plain words, failure sucks. It crushes you, hurts you deeply and leaves your ego bruised. There is no feeling worse than having hit rock bottom. No wonder everyone dreads failure, but keep in mind that no amount of hating or detesting it can help you avoid it.

Failure is a part of life and the success process. J.K Rowling, the bestselling author with the phenomenal rags to riches story, has beautifully summed it with this line: ‘It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case, you fail by default.’

But, failure doesn’t have to discourage, demoralize you or end your success journey. Looking at it in the right perspective, failure doesn’t mean it’s all over. It just means that you didn’t succeed this time around.

Sometimes you’ll face situations where the odds are stacked up against you. Other times, despite your best efforts and preparation, you will still experience failure. You have to train yourself to be tough, take the hits and be able to deal with it all.

Failure can work for you big time if you look at it the right way. It, by itself, is not detrimental. What is damaging about failure is its paralyzing effect once you let it get to you. Your chances of recovering from failure and regaining lost confidence depend heavily on how you approach it.

Failure doesn’t care about how you feel. It makes no concessions. It only throws two choices in your way: either give up or fight again. It’s up to you to decide and take the call. You can choose to opt for the easy way out, step back and quit or make the hard choice of picking yourself up, getting back on your feet and starting all over again. The right choice will help you steer yourself towards success and transform your life.

Here are 11 ways you can bounce back from failure and get back on track again.

Accept what happened

The first thing you should do after you have failed is to accept it and come to terms with it. Don’t ignore, deny or hide it. You have failed and there’s nothing you can do to reverse it now.

Accept it and know that it’s okay. Failure happens all the time. It’s no big deal if you accept it and decide to do something about it. That’s how you start learning how to overcome failure.

Take total responsibility

Own your failure. There’s no shame in it. Everyone fails sometimes.

Things won’t always pan out the way you want them, but the sole responsibility should always be yours to take. You must be accountable for your actions, choices, and decisions. Never blame others and hold them responsible for your failures. Passing the buck is a sure recipe for disaster.

Analyze what happened

You cannot undo what happened, but, by taking stock of what happened, you can dispassionately assess and gain insight into what went wrong and where. It will also enable you to understand what worked and what didn’t so that you can begin with a whole new approach.

Analyzing can help you in revising your strategy, preparing yourself, working on your weak points and improving your future performance. It will also give you the confidence to bounce back and begin more confidently.

Learn from your mistakes

There is much truth in the words of Henry Ford when he said that the only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. Failure teaches you like none other can teach you. You must learn from your mistakes and ‘heed the lessons of failure’, as Bill Gates put it.

Make the best of your mistakes. Embrace them, learn from them and never repeat them. Identify your weaknesses, work on them and turn them into your strength.

5 Don’t dwell on failure

The worst way to deal with failure is to take it to heart. What has happened has happened. No amount of crying, complaining or regretting can help you overcome it.

So, stop ruminating over it, re-running it in your mind and feeling sorry for yourself. It will not serve any useful purpose and will only take you deeper into sorrow and unhappiness.

Get over it; Move on

Failure is ‘a temporary detour, not a dead-end’, as Denis Waitley, the American bestselling author is once known to have said. Failure only lasts until you succeed again. So, don’t let it become permanent and scar your psyche.

A negative feeling cannot have any positive outcome. It is best forgotten. Wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start. Look ahead, move on, and give yourself a chance to recover and rebuild yourself.

Develop mental toughness to triumph over failure

Setbacks should not dishearten or break you. Failure is not an end in itself so, don’t let it steal your confidence. Train yourself to take bad hits in life. Use failure to learn, grow and better yourself. Maintain a positive attitude in the face of failure. That’s how you can strengthen your mental toughness.

Jump into a positive frame of mind

When you face defeat, you are engulfed by fear and self-doubt. Failure brings with it a dark cloud of negativity. You begin to question yourself and start to doubt your ability. Positive thoughts are the last thing on your mind and that’s how it is. Recovery and rebounding

Recovery and rebounding take time. To facilitate and make the process faster, you must fight all negative thoughts that cross your mind and fill yourself with positivity. Look back and reflect on your own life how you faced past failures and overcame them.

Nothing can inspire you more than your personal experience and your own success story. You know you have dealt with it before and can do it again.

Let go of fear

 When you experience failure, one thing is sure. The worst has struck you, but things can’t go bad from there.

When you fall down, you can’t go further down. So, what is there to fear?

From there, you can only move towards the positive direction. So, get up, gather your broken pieces and start building yourself again. Success is achieved by those who don’t fear failure. Don’t let failure hold you back or stop you from realizing your dreams.

10 Focus on bettering yourself

Everyone faces failure but how you look at it and what you do about it is what makes all the difference. In most cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t able to prepare well, didn’t plan properly or was ill-equipped. It can also be because he’s just plain unlucky.

Disregarding the last one, everything else can be fixed. So, make a list of all the things which you think contributed to your failure and start working on them, one thing at a time. Do everything within your power to rectify, resolve, improve, develop and put right.

11 Begin again

Failure can devastate you if you allow it to. It can also help you rebuild yourself and restart your journey if you choose to.

Failure shouldn’t be the end of your dreams, goals, and aspirations. The power of failure should motivate you to chase your goals, take a fresh start and make a new beginning. Let failure make you stronger, tougher and more resilient so that you don’t just survive it but you’ll bounce back stronger.