The People You Envy Are Not Your Enemies, They Are Your Mentors

This is a guest post.

Envy is a shadow emotion.

It’s the dark side of desire, and it shields itself as so many different things.

We often don’t realize that we’re jealous of someone until it’s boiled over into an anger so hot, we are forced to stop and ask ourselves why we are so lost in rage.

We often don’t realize that we’re jealous of someone because the people we are jealous of often aren’t superhuman. There are enough beautiful people in the world that we could envy, but we don’t, because the people whose lives we most deeply covet are the ones that are most similar to our own.

In that is the lesson.

The people we envy are not our enemies, they are our mentors.

They are our mentors because what they are really showing us is what we aren’t allowing ourselves to have.

What they are really showing us is the depth of our desire.

What they are really giving us is clarity.

The people we envy are our mentors because envy itself is an enlightening, guiding emotion. It shows us what we want for ourselves, and think we can’t have. It shows us what we want to pursue, but think we aren’t able. It shows us what we want to have, but assume we don’t deserve.

When we someone who has what we really want, instead of reconciling our own desire, we try to suppress them as well.

We try to humanize and villianize them. We try to find fault wherever we can. Instead of allowing their lives to be proof that what we want is possible, we instead deny that they could possibly have achieved that which we are so convinced we ourselves could never have.

Instead of recognizing that our envy is showing us the places in which we want to grow, we displace the feeling, and blame someone else instead.

You do not want the exact life that someone else has.

You want whatever it is they are giving themselves permission to have, to feel, and to pursue.

Maybe you see someone else in a relationship. It’s not that you want to be with their exact partner, it’s that you also want to put yourself out there and find someone who matters to you. Maybe you see someone who is attractive. It’s not that you want to look exactly like them, it’s that you want to feel good about who you are. It’s not that you want exactly what they have, it’s that you want permission.

That’s why we’re more likely to be jealous of our peers than we are a celebrity. We’re more likely to envy the people just close enough to us than the people far away — even if those people are the ones who have far more than we could ever imagine.

We don’t covet it because what we envy are the lives that are ever so slightly elevated from our own. They’re just out of reach, but not so impossibly far away that they seem unrealistic.

That’s the thing about envy: underneath it all, the thing we most deeply desire is also the thing that we know, at some level, we are capable of having.

What we want is not to suppress someone else’s joy.

What we want is not to take away someone else’s success.

What we want is not to deny someone else’s love.

What we want is to allow ourselves to pursue what we know is within our reach.

What we want is to allow that envy to show us exactly what we want, and then to dissolve the limiting beliefs that are preventing us from having it.

When we envy someone, we are actually getting a lesson in our own desires.

Source: Brianna Weist

Do Christians Ever Get Jealous With Fellow Christians?

Since all of us are prone to temptations (including envy and jealousy), is there a way to find out if a person or a group of people are jealous of you?

I had to share this deep piece with you guys by CHRISTINE LAILANI GINETE – ROME

Jealousy is a form of hatred built upon insecurity Picture Quote #1

I often find myself wondering how people know if there is envy or jealousy going on around them. This curiosity continued even further with the members of the church. If so, how do you avoid the hatred and not them? Or can you only avoid people who may be jealous when you avoid the people themselves?

The Role Of Social Media In Our Lives

Social media nowadays has been the root cause of why a high percentage of people are depressed. The culprit is not social media per se, though, but how it became the avenue to spark jealousy, hatred, and eventually discontentment.

Validation has gone a long way as far as “likes” and “follows” are concerned. Then came the need to impress a lot of people. Or worse, to get into the game of portraying “the perfect” life on social media. Though originally designed to create an online community, it has now become a breeding ground of what the world demanded – pride in possessions, achievements, a picture-perfect appearance, and only the good experiences.

Online users have long been fooled that other people’s lives are better than theirs. This negative impact of social media has created a dark stench in our hearts that we no longer see the good in what we have, what we do, and who we are. Comparisons now have skyrocketed from the little things to the big things.

How To Put Off That Fire Of Jealousy

And this is what we, as Christians, should totally avoid. How?

“Be the salt and light” in a world that is corrupting each and every one of us to succumb to even more worldly desires. As Christians, we have to evade all attempts of the enemy to tempt us to go with the flow. We need to resist the temptation to conform and instead, reveal what truly matters.

The only way we can do this best is through our lives. For instance, how much of our social media accounts reflect who God is in our lives? Do our friends even see Him in our daily posts? Or our social media accounts are the same as everyone else’s? Do we also follow every trend on social media just because everyone else is doing it?

If we are guilty of doing these things, then we have to ask ourselves why we are doing them. Is it because we are envious? Do we need validation? Are we insecure? Is it for the need to impress? Or is it because we are trying to compete and be better than others?

Setting A Good Example

If we claim that we are a new creation in Christ, then we have to live it out by all means. We have to carry that new identity wherever we go, in whatever we do, and whatever may be the cost. If we say that we have turned our backs from the things of this world, then we must be willing to sacrifice any worldly thing that blots our identity from being called as sons and daughters of God.

We were all called by God from sinners to redeemed believers not only to lift us out of the deep-seated troubles that we used to be in but also to make disciples. We cannot make new disciples if we, ourselves, do not have the authority to be one by how we live. Too often jealousy is what the enemy uses to tempt us to be a part of this world. But then again, we are no longer a part of this world when we claim that we have Jesus in our lives. We ought to live through Him and not through him for He who is above is greater than he who is in this world.

Wear The Armor of God

Thus, the next time we feel like being jealous of somebody else’s new travel photos, new bling, new house, new promotion, new award, or whatever it may be, pray for them that they see these things as a blessing and not as a need to conform to this world.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

Ephesians 6:11 NIV

Pray as well that we may be able to put on the armor of God and use it accordingly when the need arises. This is very important especially when it comes to guarding our hearts, our minds, and our spirits from the attacks of the enemy.

Lastly, let’s pray that the Spirit will give us the discernment to know what is pleasing to God and not to this world because that is all that matters.

Do you ever find yourself becoming jealous?

Share your thoughts and also repost to your platforms.

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Don’t Let Life Hijack You

Don’t let life hijack your brain! Life used to hijack my brain all the time! I used to worry about why my work wasn’t noticed, why can’t I figure out my life, why is my life this hard and I work very hard, etc….these types of thoughts consumed me every day. I allowed these things that were beyond my control to hijack my everyday thoughts. All of this negativity followed me all day long.

Click on this to listen to my podcast on Making Jesus Famous

It is up to you to realize that you must fill your brain with goals- be ambitious! Like the body requires the proper nutrition to perform optimally, the brain requires positivity, self-confidence and, most of all, it is up to you to control it. Once that mind gets hijacked, you are doomed!Something or someone controls it and they will take you for a ride. Trust me- a lot of people enjoy these mind games and watching you respond like a puppet to their every command. No one wants to fail a test. No one wants to get heartbroken. No one wants to get passed over for the promotion at work. No one wants to feel expendable. But, guess what? That is the world we live in. You must learn to push past every single thing and person that wants to hijack your mind. It is critical that you always have goals in front of you so that those negative things that will happen to you don’t derail you and your plans. Make sure that you are the only one who owns the real estate in your mind!

Photo credit: Pinterest