Repost: How To Achieve More Than You Think You Can

How to achieve more than you think you can, using Justin Timberlake as the perfect example.

Looking at it from the outside, little of how his career has progressed seems to make sense.

JT’s not someone you come across in headlines a whole lot, yet he sits on over 160 awards, a 200 million dollar fortune and one of the most respected reputations in the history of entertainment. At 36 years old, he’s had a globally successful band, four platinum solo albums, starred in the smash hit movies and is considered a fashion icon.

But that’s not what common sense tells us, is it? Though cautions have been added to the famous 10,000-hour rule, the message remains the same: you need lots of deliberate practice and years of time to get good at one thing.

So how can someone like Timberlake switch music styles, industries, even to a completely different skill set, like acting, time and time again, yet still succeed?

What part of the picture are we missing?

Learning To Unlearn

Every lesson in life comes at the expense of unlearning another.

When you learn to be confident, you unlearn to be shy. When you react with humility, you have forgotten your ego. When you’re comfortable taking the risk, you ignore other’s opinions, and so on.

In Chinese philosophy, the idea of Yin and Yang suggests that life consists entirely of dualities. It is only through the completeness of these dualities that we achieve unity. So no matter how contradictory two sides seem, they’re ultimately connected.

For each new piece of knowledge you acquire, you have to let go of an old one. Foggy clouds of ideas make way for facts, which make way for better facts, only to be replaced by new clouds, and so the cycle continues.

What most of us do when we try to improve is resist this cycle. We want every next answer to be the answer to everything. A different diet, a new sleep schedule, a tweak to your marketing — if only we stick to it, it may last us forever. Of course, nothing ever does.

That’s because the underlying skill of acquiring and abandoning knowledge, the unity, lies in change itself. What you’re really learning is how to unlearn.

Justin Timberlake is a master at it.

Smooth in black & white, though that’s not how he thinks.

The Unimportance of Being Right

There is a famous line in a Walt Whitman poem called Song of Myself:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself.”

The next time someone accuses you of being inconsistent, say this line. It’ll instantly take the wind out of their sails because you can’t argue with someone who accepts being wrong. Especially without making an attempt to defend themselves.

Most people stumble over this idea because one of our biggest innate desires is to be consistent. Add to that our tendency to spend more time on what we’ve already sunken energy into and you get a high level of resistance to unlearning.

People like Justin Timberlake, however, practice something cryptocurrency expert Nick Szabo calls quantum thought:

“In law school, they teach a very different way of thinking in that you need to take both the defendants and the plaintiffs side of the issue and run down the arguments as if each one of them is true. They contradict each other, of course, or at least the conclusions, and so I compare this to Schrodinger’s cat — maybe it’s alive, maybe it’s dead. Maybe the defendant’s guilty, maybe they’re not, and you have to keep both of these in your mind at once.”

When Justin went from child actor to boyband singer, from solo artist to actor, from show host to comedian, from R&B to Soul, and from commercial star to the voice actor, he was in no way convinced he’d be good at all of those things.

He just managed to hold the possibility of two different truths in his head at the same time. Thanks to this skill, Timberlake is never afraid to be wrong, since he is always free to unlearn one thing for another. He has a frictionless mind.

It’s a mental model he likely acquired at The Mickey Mouse Club.

A Child With A Grown Man’s Work Ethic

Even someone as talented as Justin Timberlake isn’t always right. He bought a golf course for $16 million, only to sell it for $500,000 seven years later, and some of his films were really bad. He works incredibly hard too, which we can’t neglect.“There’s a spelling bee and you have to spell the word ‘CAT.’ One student spells it ‘C-A-T.’ The person got it right. The next person spells it ‘K-A-T.’ That’s wrong.

And so we’ve built a system for ourselves where there is an answer and everything else is not the answer, even when some answers are better than others. So our brains are absent the wiring capable of coming up with an original thought.”

As adults, we spend all of our time in this system, so it’s almost impossible not to fall prey to the same thinking. But when we do, when we resist the process of constantly updating our view of the world, we block our own path.

Children aren’t burdened with this problem yet, because they’re still unfamiliar with the idea that “this is how we do things around here.” As Sir Ken Robinson recalls about the time his son was in the nativity play:

“The three boys came in, four-year-olds with tea towels on their heads, and they put these boxes down, and the first boy said, “I bring you gold.” And the second boy said, “I bring you myrrh.” And the third boy said, “Frank sent this.”

What these things have in common is that kids will take a chance. If they don’t know, they’ll have a go. Am I right? They’re not frightened of being wrong. I don’t mean to say that being wrong is the same thing as being creative. What we doknow is, if you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.

And by the time they get to be adults, most kids have lost that capacity. They have become frightened of being wrong.”

What we really see when we look at someone of Justin Timberlake’s caliber, is a child with a grown man’s work ethic. Having traversed the long road of unlearning, he reaps the rewards of unencumbered thought: Originality, adaptability, and the courage to exercise both at a second’s notice.

If nobody told you what you can and can’t achieve in a 20-year career, how much would you dare to try?

Chances are you’d act with an open mind and, like Justin Timberlake, embrace the next line in Whitman’s poem:

“I am large, I contain multitudes.”

What a brilliant write-up. I highly acknowledge Niklas Goke for this wonderful piece of work and how his writing has impacted a lot of people including me.

I hope this post touches someone today.

You free to repost, share, and comment.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

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When God Interrupts Your Plans

By: Tiffanie Butts

Last week, during my morning commute, I was listening to the one of my favorite radio stations. A woman (let’s call her Jane) called in to share about an experience she recently had.

She began by stating how she woke up late for work and was rushing to get ready. Already 20 minutes late, she was driving down the highway and saw a man on the side of the road. She felt led to pull over, so she did. The man asked to use her phone so he could make a call. Jane hesitantly gave him her cell phone and he proceeded to call 911. As she continued to listen she realized he was calling to report a suicide…his own.

She sat there in disbelief as he communicated with the operator. After he hung up, she sat and prayed with him until an ambulance came. Long story short – he did not commit suicide that day.

This story struck me in a powerful way. Jane being late for work allowed her path to cross with a man who needed to hear about God’s grace and forgiveness.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the life we’ve been given that we forget to tune into the One who gave it to us. We’re so busy, so distracted, that we don’t realize when God is trying to re-direct our attention.

We must be willing to let God interrupt our schedules and change our plans as he sees fit.

It’s easy to get bent out of shape when things don’t go as planned (I’ll be the first to admit that I do at times). But maybe, just maybe things are going according to plan – just not our plan. I have had an experience where I only told someone that you beautiful, you don’t need to worry, God is under control. She changed her broken face to a shining face. Even just a smile to someone can help that person change his/her from committing suicide.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. – Proverbs 19:21

What if, instead of being so focused on ourselves, and militant about our schedules and to-do lists, we surrendered our time to God? What if we asked him to help us be more aware of opportunities to share the truth and show the love of Christ? What if we prioritized obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit regardless of our own preferences and insecurities?

Jane’s alarm didn’t go off that morning for a divine reason – God wanted to use her to save a life. And you know what? He wants to use us in the same way.

Everyday God gifts each of us with opportunities to share His love, grace, and truth with those we come in contact with – but do you notice it? Many times we are too focused on our inconvenience rather than His purpose.

Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” – John 10:2

Let us be a people who don’t merely hear, but do (James 1:22-25). Who follow Christ’s example, laying down our own preferences for the will of our Father in Heaven so that we may show others the love, grace, and truth found only in Jesus Christ.

What Are You Expecting God To Do For You?

Maybe you’re having a hard time believing that your kids can change, your marriage can improve or that you can ever lose weight, get a better job or get completely out of debt.

But Jeremiah 29:11 says God’s thoughts and plans for you are “for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

He has a good plan for you, and you can dare to believe He can heal you anywhere you hurt and help you with every problem you face.

It’s time to start expecting more from God than you’ve ever believed He would do for you before!

The key to having what God wants you to have is learning to think like He thinks. And Romans 12:2 teaches that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

I’ve discovered several ways we need to change our thinking so we can live with the mind of the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:6).

Admit That You Are Not Perfect

One thing you should know about life is that nobody is perfect. You must learn to say to remain flexible is, “I made a mistake. ” It is amazing how much time, energy, and money is wasted because some people’s egos are so large that they will not admit they have made a mistake, even one that is obvious to everyone around them.

Once you say, “I was wrong” or “I made a mistake, ” the issue is largely over. From then on, everybody can get on with resolving the problem or achieving the goal. But as long as a key person is unwilling to admit that he or she has taken the wrong course, everything comes to a stop.

We have seen this repeatedly in national politics where the failure of a single person to admit a mistake or blunder has led to tremendous waste of time and energy for everyone involved and often for the entire nation.

Photo credit: Pinterest

What Are You Grateful For This Year

This year is such a blessing for me. God truly answers prayers, He never fails.

Am grateful to God for the gift of life and saving me from death traps during my traveling.

Am thankful and grateful to God for my family and friends that stood by me this year.

Am grateful to God for Good Health and sound mind.

Am grateful to God this year, allowing me to marry my best friend and Queen this year.

Am grateful to God for providing for my needs.

Am thankful and grateful to all of you reading my blog, and my community members. You guys are my professional colleagues. Thank you for everything have learnt from you guys this year.

Am grateful for the word of God. A-side the persecutitof Christians around the world, the gospel is still spreading very fast.

Am grateful for my country Nigeria. With the difficulties and economic downfall. God still kept us moving and alive.

Am grateful for my place of work and the favour and protection God gave to me.

We all have something to be grateful for this year. If you don’t have anything, just look at the way you breathing and alive. If you feel you asked God for something and you didn’t get it. Don’t fret and be dissapointed, God will surprise you in 2019 in Jesus name.

I love you guys, see you in 2019

Happy New Year in advance…

Your Past Is Not Your Future

wake up success GIF by Interstellardesignz

Many people had difficult experiences growing up. They fell on hard times and became associated with the wrong people. I am a perfect example of this, after giving up on writing different exams to enter the university, I was miserable at home. It led me to different bad kinds of stuff like following the wrong set of people, I stole, and was very rude and disrespect my mum.

Anyways let us go on with the main reason for this post.

Some people were convicted for their crimes after behaving in ways that were illegal or socially unacceptable. Thank God I wasn’t…

They thought seriously about the kind of person they wanted to be known as, and thought of, in the future. They decided to change their lives by changing the values that they lived by. By making these decisions and sticking to them, they changed their lives. And what others have done, you can do as well.

Remember: It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from; all that really matters is where you’re going.

If you were an outstanding person in every respect, how would you behave toward others? What sort of impression would you leave on others after you had met them and spoken with them? Imagine you could be a completely excellent person. How would you be different from who you are today?

Please drop your comment and contribution to this post.

Have a blessed day!

Make A Difference In 2019

what are your goals GIF by The Hills

You have goals for your 2019 which is just in a few days. Have different goals for your blog, family, work, social and community involvement and contribution as well. What kind of difference would you like to make in this world next year? What organizations, causes, needs, or social problems would you like to work on or in? What changes would you like to see? Who is there who is less fortunate than you that you would like to help?

If you were independently wealthy, what causes would you support? Most of all, what could you do today to begin making a difference in the world? Don’t wait until some future date when everything will b ideal. Instead, start today in some way.

happy new years eve GIF by Matthew Butler

Am happy to say welcome to 2019 guys because am already in 2019.

Determine Your Heart’s Desire

Beauty happy girl with Valentine gift box.In his book “The Importance of Discovering Your Hearts Desire”, Emmet Fox wrote What is your heart’s desire? What is it that, deep down in your heart, more than anything else, you would like to be, have, or do in life? A s a friend of mine asks, “What do you want to be famous for?”

What words would you like people to use to describe you when you are not there? When you gone, what will you like people to say at your funeral? How would you want your family, friends, and children to remember you? How would you like people to talk to them about you?

What kind of a reputation do you have today? What kind of a reputation would you like to have sometime in the future? What would you have to begin doing today in order to create the kind of reputation that you desire?

A Whisper Or A Shout


Before I spoke my Savior heard
My earnest and heartfelt plea,
Jesus save me I’m drowning in sin!
And that cry changed my life’s destiny.
Men argue and debate mankind’s state and fate
Who and what we should trust and believe,
But this I know in my heart and soul
It’s Christ’s grace we all need to receive,
So if you’ve hit the bottom of the pit
Seeing no hope or earthly way out,
The Savior stands ready and listens to all

To a whisper- as well as a shout…

To Avoid Embarrassment And Unnecessary Pressure

Hi guys, thanks for stopping by to this straight forward post. It has come to my knowledge people go the extreme to do things above their means.

Here are some solutions to avoid it..

  • Put your kids in schools you can afford because expensive schools doesn’t guarantee good results. Just ensure they attend a good affordable school.
  • Rent apartments you can pay for conveniently. Don’t live in a house you struggle to pay yearly.
  • A man whose wife is pregnant has good 9 months to prepare, so also the pregnant woman in question. They should even plan for the worse and only seek help when they can’t meet up.
  • Some problems in our lives don’t just pop up, 12 months ago, we knew we would pay rents…So its not an emergency.
  • Let’s plan our lives and live within our means. Save more and spend less.
  • Some women buy food for their children every morning before going to school, do you know it’s cheaper to cook at home?
  • Some buy every Asoebi and also buy shoe and bag to match.
  • Some people who don’t earn much, but have DSTV at home, go for GOTV and upgrade when your income upgrades. It’s still the same CNN.
  • Eat healthy meals and protect your family from mosquitoes to avoid going to the hospital always.
  • Take advantage of food and fruits in season, its cheaper and you can be creative to create amazing meals.
  • Don’t copy your neighbor’s style of cooking soup, she earns well and her husband is a ‘big man’
  • Don’t follow trends, wear clean well-ironed clothes and keep your hair neat. You would still look good.
  • Keep your circle small, keep only friends that have senses!
  • Above all things, have the fear of God, have integrity, don’t be lazy and be prayerful.
  • Planning is the key, if you fail to plan, you plan to FAIL
  • God bless us all and provide all our needs.

How to Motivate Yourself – 5 Steps to Turn Your Power On!

Don’t wear a bullet proof because am about to shoot 5 steps for how to motivate yourself.

1. Your Reality Stocktake

Grab a pen and paper. You’re about to get real with yourself!

Answer these questions:

  • What price are you paying for doing nothing and staying where you are? There are costs involved! The clearer you are on that, the more uncomfortable you will be about it. The more uncomfortable you are, the more motivated you will be to do something to change it!
  • What are you missing out on by not taking action and creating the outcomes you want? There is something great available to you if only you would go for it. The clearer you are about that, the more disappointed you will feel if you don’t get up and get after it. The more disappointed you are, the more motivated you will be to get in action!

The point is this – you want to feel a little pain here.

Pain is motivating.

There is NO VALUE in pretending that there is no price you’re paying and there is nothing you’re missing out on.

Getting real with yourself is a powerful starting point for powering up.

2. Time to Raise Your Standards

If you’re not motivated, chances are you are TOO comfortable where you stand.

If that is true, it means you are too accepting of your current situation and the price you’re paying. And, you’re okay to some extent with missing out on what else is available in your life.

This means your standards are too low. You unconsciously (or consciously!) expect less for yourself than you really deserve.

To have what you want, you need to raise your standards and get emotionally convicted about the fact you DON’T DESERVE to stay stuck and pay these prices. And, that you DO DESERVE better for yourself.

3. Draw a Line in the Sand

Getting motivated and staying motivated requires that you say, “Enough is enough.”

I like to call this – putting a line in the sand.

You draw a line, you step over it, and you say, “I’m never going back.”

One big problem people face with motivation is that it ebbs and flows, and they yo-yo in and out of it. This means you never really get lasting change or the results you want.

To get lasting change means being consistent. Consistently motivated. Consistently clear. Consistently in action.

If you don’t put a line in the sand and step over it permanently, then it means that in your mindset you are allowing yourself permission to yo-yo.

If you start out on a path of action or change with the intention that it’s okay to stop whenever you want, then guess what . . . you will!

Instead, create a mindset that says, “I’m not turning back. I’m motivated and I’m sticking with this. I’m never going back. I don’t deserve back there. I do deserve what’s ahead.”

No one can inject you with the sustainable motivation you need. They can amp you up for a short period of time. But hyped up energy taken from someone else never lasts!

The way to get lasting motivation, and motivation on the things that count, is to create it for yourself through a shift in your mind.

Learn how to use your mind and emotional system to your advantage, and you’ll finally feel like the master of your own destiny.

4. Your Mortality Reminder

You are not going to live forever. Fact.

You’ve used up some of your days already! Fact.

How many do you have left?

We don’t know. No one does.

This hopefully is a motivating factor for you!

When you remember that everyone ends up 6 feet under at some point, and you really dwell on the fact YOU will end up there too, it’s like having the electric shock paddles zapped on your heart. It jolts you to life!

The fact you’re reading this and thinking thoughts, and breathing, and working, and going about your daily life, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ALIVE.

Being truly alive is when you are consciously in control of yourself and owning your life.

5. Set the Structure

Most people struggle with motivation because they don’t have structure in place to help them STAY motivated.

Anyone can hype you up given the right insights and approach.

You can hype yourself up given the right tips and tools.

But hype is NOT genuine motivation.

Hype is what feels great and then fizzles out like a firework on a rainy night.

I want you to have lasting motivation, which means…

You need structure in place to not only lift up your motivation levels but to KEEP THEM UP.

The problem is – life is busy, demanding and noisy. There are always things to distract you. You might forget.

If your mindset isn’t finely tuned already, then you likely have your own inner blocks that will get in the way too (excuses, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and so forth). But try pushing yourself and beating these obstacles and sure you will overcome.

Feeling motivated? I’d love to hear from you so please do head to the comments section below. Let me know what’s happening in your life right now!

Credit to Bernadette Logue

Repost: An Attitude Of Gratitude.

Originally posted on Everyday Answers.

Hi, thanks for stopping by to read my post today. I was surfing the internet and saw this beautiful piece, I couldn’t read it alone but to also share with you guys on my platform.

Most people would agree that we have a lot to be thankful for. After all, many of us live a lifestyle full of conveniences…

  • We live in comfortable homes, wear nice clothes, and have reliable transportation.
  • We have no shortage of clean water or healthy food.
  • We have access to quality healthcare and education, and basically live a good life with a lot of freedom, safety and security.

While it’s easy to take these wonderful blessings for granted—and begin to focus on what we don’t have—millions of people around the world live without the basic necessities of life.

I’ll never forget the time one of our sons went on a weekend outreach with a team of people to help the homeless. It was obvious that the experience touched him deeply. He called me and said:

“If I ever complain again, please knock me down for being so stupid!”

After he saw how some people were living, he was appalled at how he had complained about small things in his own life.

Just think about it…

We can complain about trivial things like cleaning the house. However, those without a place to live would love to have a house to clean.

Or have you ever complained about the regular costs of maintaining your vehicle? I’m sure we’ve all had our day ruined by an unexpected repair. However, a person without transportation dreamsabout having a car to drive.

It is so easy to forget how blessed we are! That’s why maintaining an attitude of gratitude is something we need to do on purpose.

This “little thing” can make a big difference…

I want you to try something. As you go about your day, make a point to be grateful for the things you may otherwise not even notice.

For instance, I really like coffee. Sometimes I take a moment in the morning to thank God for this “little thing” that brings me joy and comfort.

Or how about the blessing of having hot water? It’s something we can easily take for granted, but it makes our lives so much better!

As you begin to thank God for the seemingly small things in your life, it will help you to focus on the positive and everything you do have. As result, you will also be much happier!

Invite God into everything you do…

One of the best things we can do throughout the day is praise God while we work.

No matter what you’re trying to build—your home, your marriage, your business, financial security, or even an exercise plan—you can worship God as you work.

At my conferences, I make sure to be in the service as soon as the praise and worship begins because I love to be in God’s presence. In fact, before I speak to an audience, I make sure I have entered into praise and worship.

I want to fix my thoughts on God, thank Him for what He’s done in my life and for the words He’s giving me to speak, and I want to give Him praise for everything else He’s going to do.

We need to praise God because we love Him. It actually draws us closer to Him, which helps us hear the Word clearly, receive it, and hold on to it through faith.

This will help you to see more clearly…

Giving thanks throughout the day is simply a way to show God how grateful we are for who He is.

Regularly giving thanks to God not only helps us fully realize how He’s working in our lives, it gives us a new perspective—our mind is renewed, our attitude is improved, and we are filled with joy (see Psalm 16:11).

I am truly amazed at how two people can have the exact same circumstances, however one person can be negative, dissatisfied and hopeless while the other is optimistic and full of joy!

Praise makes all of the difference. Living life with a heart of gratitude for who God is and what He has done for us lifts our burdens and causes us to see everything in a different light.

Each moment that we’re given is a precious gift from God. We can choose to have a thankful attitude and live each moment full of joy…simply because God is good.

Please feel free to comment, like, and repost.

Know What You Really Want

Stephen Covey once said, “Be sure that, as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building.” 

Many people work hard to achieve goals that they think they want only to find, at the end of the day, that they get no joy or satisfaction from their accomplishments. They ask, “Is this all there is?” This occurs when the outer accomplishment is not in harmony with your inner values. Don’t let this happen to you.

Socrates said, ” The unexamined life is not worth living.”

This applies to your values as much as to any other area of your life. Values clarification is something you do on a go- forward basis. You continually stop the clock, like a time out in a football game, and ask, “What are my values in this area?”

In Mathew 16:26, the Bible says, “What is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

The happiest people in the world today are those who are living in harmony with their innermost convictions and values. The unhappiest people are those who are attempting to live in-congruent with what they truly value and believe.

Design Your Perfect Calendar

Decide how you would like to live your ideal lifestyle, day in and day out. Design your perfect calendar from January to December.

1. What would you like to do on your weekends and vacations?
2. How much time would you like to take off each week, month, and year?
3. Where would you like to go?
4. How would you organize your year if you had no limitations and complete control over your time?

Proverbs 29:18 says, ” Where there is no vision, the people perish.” What this means is that if you lack an exciting vision for your future, you will “perish” inside in terms of lacking motivation and enthusiasm for what you are doing. But the reverse of this is that with an exciting future vision, you will be continuously motivated and stimulated everyday to take the actions necessary to make your ideal vision a reality.

Things You Learn When Life Doesn’t Turn Out The Way You Wanted

We often grow up with an idea of what our life will look like when we are at a certain age, more often than not, it is a realistic image, and more often than not, life doesn’t necessarily mirror the image we had for it. At that moment, we can feel inadequate, we can feel like a failure and we can feel that we failed to create the life we want or deserve, but if we take a closer look sometimes the magic is in the journey rather than the destination, it is in the lessons we learn along the way and the changes we have to go through to become the best versions of ourselves.

My life didn’t turn out to be anything like I imagined, in fact the image I had for my life doesn’t even come close to what it is now, and even though I do have my days when I brood about it and wonder where I went wrong, I still smile when I look back at the things I learned when the pieces of the puzzle didn’t fit.

1. You Learn To Steer The Wheel In Another Direction

You know how the saying goes “If you don’t bend you will break” You will find yourself face to face with your fears and your worst nightmares, but you will have to face them, even if you don’t win, even if you fall short, even if you will never be the same person again, you will navigate through them to reach your destination. It is exactly like driving, sometimes you get lost, sometimes you take roads you don’t want to take, sometimes you drive alone at night and it can get scary, sometimes you will have to stop at a red light even though you can’t wait to go home, sometimes you will get into an accident and it may or may not be your fault, but the key will always be to keep driving and steer the wheel in another direction, whatever direction leads you back home.

2. You Will Be Forced To Look Within For Validation

If you are a people person like myself, you get your energy and your validation from those around you, you always wonder do they like me? Did I say the right thing? Are they going to speak well about me? Does my boss think I’m smart enough? Will this man stay or will he get bored and leave? You constantly expend your energy on those around you and that sometimes can be the demise of your own identity and personal growth. This may sound like a cliché but it is true, the best way to use your energy is to consume it on yourself first, and be in touch with who you are regardless of what those around you think of you. You have to embrace your flaws and shortcomings while working on them rather than seek validation from those around you. It helps when someone sees something good in us that we ceased to believe and it helps when someone picks us up when we fall, but at the end of the day, it is temporary relief. If you want long-term relief, you need to seek validation from yourself first and welcome the validation of others second, but you should always come first.

3. You Might Want To Reconnect With God

“When we have nothing left but God, we discover that God is enough.” This is one of my favorite quotes to sum up faith and life too. When things don’t go as planned, and when life gets hard, it is easy to sink in a dark hole and drown in a sea of anger, negativity and despair; also known as rock bottom. The good thing about hitting rock bottom is the fact that it allows you to reach to a higher power, ask for help, pray and seek guidance from the creator. If it takes a toll on your faith, let me assure you that you will not make it out of rock bottom easily, however if you use it as a tool to reconnect with God and strengthen your faith and the belief that God has a better plan for you and that his plans will make you happier than you ever thought you will be, you will be just fine. God sometimes gives us what we need rather than what we want, sometimes it is best not to ask questions and try to go against the ebb and flow of what God brings to our life, sometimes it is better to look up and say I know you got this, let go and keep the faith.

4.You Are Going To Lose Some People

It is a part of life, the more you know who you are and seek validation from within, the more people you are going to lose. Some people will not like it, some people will try to bring you back down, some people will hurt you, some people will walk away, some people will give up on you, and others will stab you right in the face. Only a few good ones will stick around and respect the transition, those people are the ones that are in your life to stay and will help you become your best self. I must say this is the hardest lesson, it doesn’t only require strength and self-control, it requires you to never look back, to close some doors that you so wanted to remain open. The hardest part is not letting them go, the hardest part is letting them go knowing you will not let them back in again, knowing that deep in your heart this person will cause you more damage than good and they have to go. In some cases, losing is winning.

5. It Will Make You A Better Person

Finally, when your life doesn’t turn out the way you wished for, it will humble you. It will make you a kinder person, a more sympathetic person, a wiser person, a stronger person, a less judgmental person, a deeper person, or simply it will make you human. You will learn that you can’t be perfect and you never will be, you will learn that you will fail at things you thought you were good at, you will learn that you can be hard to love sometimes, you will learn that you have bipolar tendencies, you will learn that you cannot control your surroundings and you cannot make someone change or someone love you. You will learn to accept your fate and stop trying to change it. You will learn that life will scar you, and it will hurt you but it will also surprise you-sometimes in a good way, and one day you will look back and be able to connect the dots, one day you will look back and make sense of all the confusion, one day you will surprise yourself when you look at the image you had for your life and realize that it doesn’t resonate with you anymore and it doesn’t matter.