How to Motivate Yourself – 5 Steps to Turn Your Power On!

Don’t wear a bullet proof because am about to shoot 5 steps for how to motivate yourself.

1. Your Reality Stocktake

Grab a pen and paper. You’re about to get real with yourself!

Answer these questions:

  • What price are you paying for doing nothing and staying where you are? There are costs involved! The clearer you are on that, the more uncomfortable you will be about it. The more uncomfortable you are, the more motivated you will be to do something to change it!
  • What are you missing out on by not taking action and creating the outcomes you want? There is something great available to you if only you would go for it. The clearer you are about that, the more disappointed you will feel if you don’t get up and get after it. The more disappointed you are, the more motivated you will be to get in action!

The point is this – you want to feel a little pain here.

Pain is motivating.

There is NO VALUE in pretending that there is no price you’re paying and there is nothing you’re missing out on.

Getting real with yourself is a powerful starting point for powering up.

2. Time to Raise Your Standards

If you’re not motivated, chances are you are TOO comfortable where you stand.

If that is true, it means you are too accepting of your current situation and the price you’re paying. And, you’re okay to some extent with missing out on what else is available in your life.

This means your standards are too low. You unconsciously (or consciously!) expect less for yourself than you really deserve.

To have what you want, you need to raise your standards and get emotionally convicted about the fact you DON’T DESERVE to stay stuck and pay these prices. And, that you DO DESERVE better for yourself.

3. Draw a Line in the Sand

Getting motivated and staying motivated requires that you say, “Enough is enough.”

I like to call this – putting a line in the sand.

You draw a line, you step over it, and you say, “I’m never going back.”

One big problem people face with motivation is that it ebbs and flows, and they yo-yo in and out of it. This means you never really get lasting change or the results you want.

To get lasting change means being consistent. Consistently motivated. Consistently clear. Consistently in action.

If you don’t put a line in the sand and step over it permanently, then it means that in your mindset you are allowing yourself permission to yo-yo.

If you start out on a path of action or change with the intention that it’s okay to stop whenever you want, then guess what . . . you will!

Instead, create a mindset that says, “I’m not turning back. I’m motivated and I’m sticking with this. I’m never going back. I don’t deserve back there. I do deserve what’s ahead.”

No one can inject you with the sustainable motivation you need. They can amp you up for a short period of time. But hyped up energy taken from someone else never lasts!

The way to get lasting motivation, and motivation on the things that count, is to create it for yourself through a shift in your mind.

Learn how to use your mind and emotional system to your advantage, and you’ll finally feel like the master of your own destiny.

4. Your Mortality Reminder

You are not going to live forever. Fact.

You’ve used up some of your days already! Fact.

How many do you have left?

We don’t know. No one does.

This hopefully is a motivating factor for you!

When you remember that everyone ends up 6 feet under at some point, and you really dwell on the fact YOU will end up there too, it’s like having the electric shock paddles zapped on your heart. It jolts you to life!

The fact you’re reading this and thinking thoughts, and breathing, and working, and going about your daily life, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ALIVE.

Being truly alive is when you are consciously in control of yourself and owning your life.

5. Set the Structure

Most people struggle with motivation because they don’t have structure in place to help them STAY motivated.

Anyone can hype you up given the right insights and approach.

You can hype yourself up given the right tips and tools.

But hype is NOT genuine motivation.

Hype is what feels great and then fizzles out like a firework on a rainy night.

I want you to have lasting motivation, which means…

You need structure in place to not only lift up your motivation levels but to KEEP THEM UP.

The problem is – life is busy, demanding and noisy. There are always things to distract you. You might forget.

If your mindset isn’t finely tuned already, then you likely have your own inner blocks that will get in the way too (excuses, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and so forth). But try pushing yourself and beating these obstacles and sure you will overcome.

Feeling motivated? I’d love to hear from you so please do head to the comments section below. Let me know what’s happening in your life right now!

Credit to Bernadette Logue

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Repost: An Attitude Of Gratitude.

Originally posted on Everyday Answers.

Hi, thanks for stopping by to read my post today. I was surfing the internet and saw this beautiful piece, I couldn’t read it alone but to also share with you guys on my platform.

Most people would agree that we have a lot to be thankful for. After all, many of us live a lifestyle full of conveniences…

  • We live in comfortable homes, wear nice clothes, and have reliable transportation.
  • We have no shortage of clean water or healthy food.
  • We have access to quality healthcare and education, and basically live a good life with a lot of freedom, safety and security.

While it’s easy to take these wonderful blessings for granted—and begin to focus on what we don’t have—millions of people around the world live without the basic necessities of life.

I’ll never forget the time one of our sons went on a weekend outreach with a team of people to help the homeless. It was obvious that the experience touched him deeply. He called me and said:

“If I ever complain again, please knock me down for being so stupid!”

After he saw how some people were living, he was appalled at how he had complained about small things in his own life.

Just think about it…

We can complain about trivial things like cleaning the house. However, those without a place to live would love to have a house to clean.

Or have you ever complained about the regular costs of maintaining your vehicle? I’m sure we’ve all had our day ruined by an unexpected repair. However, a person without transportation dreamsabout having a car to drive.

It is so easy to forget how blessed we are! That’s why maintaining an attitude of gratitude is something we need to do on purpose.

This “little thing” can make a big difference…

I want you to try something. As you go about your day, make a point to be grateful for the things you may otherwise not even notice.

For instance, I really like coffee. Sometimes I take a moment in the morning to thank God for this “little thing” that brings me joy and comfort.

Or how about the blessing of having hot water? It’s something we can easily take for granted, but it makes our lives so much better!

As you begin to thank God for the seemingly small things in your life, it will help you to focus on the positive and everything you do have. As result, you will also be much happier!

Invite God into everything you do…

One of the best things we can do throughout the day is praise God while we work.

No matter what you’re trying to build—your home, your marriage, your business, financial security, or even an exercise plan—you can worship God as you work.

At my conferences, I make sure to be in the service as soon as the praise and worship begins because I love to be in God’s presence. In fact, before I speak to an audience, I make sure I have entered into praise and worship.

I want to fix my thoughts on God, thank Him for what He’s done in my life and for the words He’s giving me to speak, and I want to give Him praise for everything else He’s going to do.

We need to praise God because we love Him. It actually draws us closer to Him, which helps us hear the Word clearly, receive it, and hold on to it through faith.

This will help you to see more clearly…

Giving thanks throughout the day is simply a way to show God how grateful we are for who He is.

Regularly giving thanks to God not only helps us fully realize how He’s working in our lives, it gives us a new perspective—our mind is renewed, our attitude is improved, and we are filled with joy (see Psalm 16:11).

I am truly amazed at how two people can have the exact same circumstances, however one person can be negative, dissatisfied and hopeless while the other is optimistic and full of joy!

Praise makes all of the difference. Living life with a heart of gratitude for who God is and what He has done for us lifts our burdens and causes us to see everything in a different light.

Each moment that we’re given is a precious gift from God. We can choose to have a thankful attitude and live each moment full of joy…simply because God is good.

Please feel free to comment, like, and repost.

Terrified About The Future? Read This…

Rania has something to contribute to this interesting topic on if you terrified about the future, then you in the right place.

“How do I prepare myself for the worst?” A friend of mine asked me the other day, and I started wondering why do we always assume the worst first? Why are we so scared of the unknown that we think it’s going to attack us and stab us in the back? Why is the future associated with trepidation instead of tranquility?

We are always scared of the unknown considering that we fear the future will mirror our past, because we are born to believe that history repeats itself. But human beings are not history, they reinvent themselves instead of repeating themselves. If you are scared of the future, I ask you to try to see it as a challenge rather than a threat, a pleasant surprise, or a compelling story that is still unfolding. Sometimes knowing the ending ruins the story, and life is all about the story.

If you are scared of tomorrow, think of the things you can control today, the things you have now, think of just today and how you can get through it. Think of how you can make today slightly better, think of how you can make this day a good day in case history repeats itself tomorrow. Think of making today count, maybe that is the only possible way you can prepare for tomorrow.

If you are scared of the worst that can happen, think of all the times in the past you were scared of what may come, and thought of worst case scenarios that never happened.

If you are scared of failure, think of the past regrets you had because you didn’t try, think of the “what ifs” and “if onlys” you asked yourself when you felt that life is passing you by. Think of failure as not trying rather than winning. Think of failure as a battle you lost but a war you could still win. Think of failure as a complicated friend rather than a vile enemy.

If you are scared of not being enough, think of the story of the twenty dollar bill, when the speaker held it up after he dropped it on the ground and fumbled it in the dirt, after he almost ripped it apart, and yet many raised their hand and still wanted it because it was still a twenty dollar bill.. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, good enough or not good enough, your value never changes, you are still priceless to those who love you and those who will love you.

If you are scared of heartbreak, think of the wisdom and strength you gained from your heartbreak, think of the self-discoveries you made out of your isolation and introspection. Think of the times that your brokenness inspired you to write, or sing, or dance, or just pack your bags and travel. Think of how you were not afraid of love once upon a time, and why you should never be afraid of love again. If you are afraid of love, perceive it as an act of giving rather than receiving. If you are afraid of love, think of how you can be even more afraid of loneliness.

If you are scared of death, think of the many times you died inside and how you came to see the light of day again. Think of all the near death experiences you had and remember how those experiences made you a lot more aware of your life and a lot more appreciative of it. We are mortal and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. You are here now, so be here, let the threat of death pave the way for you to live a daring life. Let’s live like we are dying, than die like we had never lived.

The comment section is opened for your thoughts and views about this.

Repost: How Many Celebrity Tragedies Before We Understand That Fame And Money Don’t Mean Happiness?

There are many conversations to be had in the wake of Robin Williams’ death. About the perils of depression; the silent weight of scrutiny that’s internalized when we treat famous people like characters, not humans; and the love a generation could have for a man, though we hadn’t taken a moment to discuss him until he was gone.

When tragedies like these occur, the only thing there is to do is take something and grow collectively. At the end of the day, the million+ tweets and posts and discussions about Robin are (for all we know) unbeknownst to him. They’re for us. So while we’re at it, let us take this too: You will not be happier tomorrow if you do not create happiness today.

We are aggregators and perpetuators of the idea that external success yields internal fulfillment. We spend our whole lives seeking that greatness: a physical body others can appreciate, stacks of money you can measure, material items other people can get wide-eyed and jealous of, attention and admiration that we believe will fill some emptiness within us.

External success — success that is sought because other people can perceive it — is a dark and winding path of putting our whole lives into something that never does fill the gaping, heavy hole that sent us running away from ourselves to begin with.

I have a hard time believing that Robin — or really anybody who has perished despite a seemingly phenomenal life — wouldn’t want us to understand this. More importantly, because of those people, but more due to our own internal convictions of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and disconnectedness (that we all at some level understand) I believe that this is what we need to start understanding.

Despite the endless feed of overdoses and tragedies, we remain a culture that is, for the most part, decidedly unaware. If you asked someone, in theory, does money and fame mean happiness? They’d probably say no, because they think that’s the right answer. And yet. But still. It’s easier and more instantly gratifying to keep seeking the external. It’s common, it’s normal, it’s expected, it doesn’t require much by the way of fiercely letting your own light refract into the untouched darkness of others’.

We are a society driven by ego. We have monopolized even the most natural and simple of processes for the sake of these empty, meaningless, physical accolades. We took control of animals to help discover/conquer new territories, then put them in concentration camps to be slaughtered (though, then again, we’ve done that to each other.) We’ve changed more on the Earth in 50 years than in the last 13,000 combined. Industrialized farming poisons our food for the sake of cheap, exponential growth, and our food workers wear radiation suits. Everything has been cloned, standardized, copied and individuality has been destroyed, ironically, in the face of our very isolation that has to be mentally resolved before anything else can be. We just continue to take and take and take and take.

And when other things aren’t enough, we take control of each other, and in the interim, we monopolize ourselves, too. We do this every time we police someone into behaving one certain way. Every time we believe what we’re conditioned to and don’t think for ourselves. Every time we allow something ultimately meaningless to control our lives because the one thing we have not learned to do is find something that does mean something to us.

We created a culture that cares far more about how things appear than how they actually are. As long as this carries on is as long as we’ll be seeking a great nothingness.

And the funny thing, the important thing, the only thing worth knowing here, really, is that if every one of us took it upon ourselves to fill ourselves with deep understanding and conviction, to perceive unity rather than isolation, to learn to embrace individuality in harmony with everyone else, these problems would disappear. We do not have to fix the outer. We do not have to deconstruct the society we live in to fix it. We have to deconstruct the illusions within us.

This is not something we vote on. This is not something we influence others to do. This is not what happens when we take control of other beings and things. We cannot keep perpetuating the world that we do, and losing the things that we are, the people we love, and ourselves. We do not just owe this to our heroes and our children and the people who have passed. We owe this to ourselves. We owe it to our own happiness to stop feeding into the incessant cruelty, to stop judging other people and policing them into a life we deem acceptable. We owe it to ourselves to ask for help when we need it. To help others when they do. To let our suffering move us toward deeper, internal acceptance and awareness and okayness through the external knowing that all is one and one is all and to know that no matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

Credit image: Pinterest

Questions You Should Ask Yourself Daily

The greatest block in your life is YOU.

The greatest solution to that block is also YOU.

If you do not learn from your experiences, and take control of your own energy (your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions) then you will surely continue to reap the same results and repeat the same patterns.

If those results and patterns are working for you, then great!

If they’re not, then below are a set of wise questions to help you tap into your own inner wisdom for the answers that will propel you into the year ahead as a clearer, more inspired, empowered and insightful you.

Everything in your life stems from your energy and the paradigm through which you view the world.

So it’s time to own that and POWER UP.

Grab a pen and paper, and answer the following questions.

As you reflect, consider the past 6-12 months of your life, and the coming 6-12 months.

You are going to learn from the past to elevate yourself in the present, and prepare for an inspired future!

  • have I been doing, and continue to do, in my life that I know is NOT working for me?
  • Why have I not yet taken action to ‘course correct’ my journey in order to get different results?
  • What am I procrastinating about doing?
  • What negative habits do I have that I know I need to let go of? Click here to refer to my list “28 Habits that Block Your Happiness & How to Let Them Go”
  • Regarding the greatest challenges that I faced in the past 6-12 months, what lessons did I learn that I can apply in future for my benefit?
  • Is there anything I intended to achieve in the past 6-12 months that did not eventuate?
  • Did I invest my attention, time or resources into my personal growth, knowledge, wellbeing and/or happiness in the past 6-12 months year in any way?
  • What goal, dream or aspiration do I have for myself for the coming 6-12 months that I’m ready to make happen?
  • Where is fear currently controlling me?
  • Am I feeling professionally fulfilled?
  • What would I most like to learn how to do or be for the 6-12 months ahead?
  • How have I been using my “free time” and has that helped me feel inspired, vibrant, healthy and fulfilled?
  • Are my current habits for eating, drinking and exercising working for me or against me?
  • Am I holding any resentment towards others or myself?
  • How could I be of service in the 6-12 months ahead in a way that will make the world a better place?
  • Which of my relationships need more of my loving attention to prosper?
  • Which of my relationships are toxic and no longer serve myself or the other person?
  • What have been my strengths and achievements in the past 6-12 months that I can celebrate?
  • Am I living a life that is meaningful to me?
  • Am I proud of who I am, how I behave and what I offer into the world?
  • What feelings dominated my experience of life in the 6-12 months gone by?
  • What feelings do I most want to experience in the 6-12 months ahead?
  • What I am most passionate about in my life that I’d like to do more of?
  • If I could improve one aspect of my life, what would it be? (e.g. relationships, career, finances, health, state of mind, emotional balance, adventure, self-expression…)

Don’t Wait To Be Inspired, Don’t Only Act On Passion

The feeling of being “inspired” is very often just finding something brilliant, and trying to emulate it. The rush and desire makes us manic and driven because we think we are actively becoming greater than ourselves. We find something we perceive as so great, we want others to perceive us – our take, our idea, our belief, our creation of it – similarly. But the foundation of that is what we are not. That’s why we have to find it, that’s why we run dry. It is not inherent or internal – at least the whirlwind, overwhelming kind of inspiration isn’t.

Acting without feeling inspired is us saying what we naturally know, feel and think, and this is vulnerability. When we believe that we must be inspired by an idea to create something of it, it is a mechanism to avoid placing ourselves bare into something that other people can judge.

The same goes for the idea of “passion.” Passion is the crazy, grandiose, brilliant idea for the epic novel, but it is not the every day work that gets it written. Ryan Holiday just wrote about this idea, in that Passion Is The Problem, Not The Solution.

Passion does not get the work done. Passion does not sustain you for more than a moment’s worth, neither does inspiration. It is not what gets your heads on the floor and your fingers on the keyboard and your mind in a space of determination. Please take my word for this.

But we’ve based most of our cultural aspirations on these ideas. That is to say, we’re supposed to choose what we feel consistently strongly about, and pursue it madly and wildly and at any cost. It’s why, I think, so many people feel lost. Because they don’t feel compelled by a single, conveniently-career-transmutable activity or idea (and most people aren’t supposed to… I have a hard time believing that “life purpose,” if it exists, is an isolated experience or job or action.)

You’ve probably heard (and read countless articles and studies) on why “following your passion” is the worst career advice you can get (“passion” is something you build; it’s what comes after you do something you enjoy repeatedly and gain skill and accolade, etc.) It’s not something that comes over you one day, at least not to any conceivable end.

But we don’t want to misstep. We want to base our decisions on something solid, on a singular purpose, on the truth gauge we’re promised we have. We are basing our life choices on feelings that other things give us, rather than the instincts we naturally have, and we’re calling that intuition.

There’s nothing wrong with the idea that you should do something each day that is fulfilling, but there is something dangerously misleading about the idea that you should feel passionately inspired each day (it insinuates there is no work, or rather, work shouldn’t feel like work.)

This makes happiness “good” and anything else “bad.” This makes the spectrum of emotions that human beings are meant to experience obsolete. This closes us off and stoppers our progress. This is how we induce our own suffering, by believing that the things that are “meant to be,” that are actions of passion and divine grandeur are going to make us feel consistently “good.”

If we were “meant” to feel good all the time, it wouldn’t be such a struggle. And we create that struggle for ourselves. Every time we look to something else to give us that high, we externalize our purpose. We step over vulnerability, we idealize a certain feeling, a certain job, a certain partner, and that’s it, it becomes the end goal, the only goal, the only way we’ll be content.

Passion is not what gets the job done. It is not what sustains a relationship or a career. Inspiration will not “find you” every single day. If you believe it’s supposed to, you’ll only be a failure in your own mind.

These things are drops, not constants. They are sparks, not flames.

You can prove this to yourself by the sheer fact that in retrospect, you probably realize you do not value the isolated moments of inspired thought as much as you do the work and love you consciously choose to put into them every single day to create something out of them. You value what you make, what you choose. Not what happens upon you.

What do you guys think about this article on passion and inspiration. Please let us know your thoughts and also share on your platforms too.

Quotes That Will Give You The Resolve To Simplify Your Life

I have deep faith that the principle of the Universe will be beautiful and simple. – Albert Einstein


Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love. I like to work, read, learn, and understand life. – Langston Hughes


I do believe in simplicity. It is astonishing as well as sad, how many trivial affairs even the wisest thinks he must attend to in a day; how singular an affair he thinks he must omit. When the mathematician would solve a difficult problem, he first frees the equation of all incumbrances, and reduces it to its simplest terms. So simplify the problem of life, distinguish the necessary and the real. Probe the earth to see where your main roots run. – Henry David Thoreau


Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it. – Joshua Becker


Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. – Leonardo da Vinci

Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify. – Henry David Thoreau


Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction. – E.F. Schumacher


There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. – Leo Tolstoy


Living simply makes loving simple. – bell hooks


If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself. – Albert Einstein


A person who could muster the courage to remove from his daily life the products that he basically doesn’t need would automatically delete the negative thoughts and the toxic people in his life. – Anuj Somany


I learned what is obvious to a child: that life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love. – Nicholas Sparks

There is a level of consciousness between sleeping and fully wakening when the worries of the day have not settled upon us; the body is stilled, and the senses wholly receptive. If the sun is bright, there is pure silence, or the birds are beginning to sing, this shining level of consciousness can come to be the nearest we will get to paradise this side of our quietus, Every day should begin so, This is no dream. This is the reality. The world outside is beautiful. We do our best to hide it. We cover it. We push it father back. The ugliness we make ourselves. We originate our own worries. We put on our own shackles; build our prisons. We can only glimpse the golden reality, briefly, through our tiny barred windows. –John Wyatt


They think I’m simpleminded because I seem to be happy. Why shouldn’t I be happy? I have everything I ever wanted and more. Maybe I am simpleminded. Maybe that’s the key: simple. – Dolly Parton


I strongly believe that success is directly proportional to one’s ability to be simple and comfortable. In fact, simplicity and comfort have a multiplication effect, thus increasing the chances of expedited and sustained success. – Vishwas Chavan


Most things that are true are simple. To lose weight, eat less than you burn. To reduce stress, find a job you love. To resolve conflict, be patient and peaceful. These are very, very simple in that they are complete concepts that take no more than a sentence to say. They are not, however, easy, because they must be applied consistently. – Vironika Tugaleva

Progress is discovering what you can do without. – Marty Rubin


Manifest plainness/Embrace simplicity/Reduce selfishness/Have few desires. – Lao Tzu


I’ve found that the less stuff I own, the less my stuff owns me. – Nathan W. Morris


This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama XIV


Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains. – Steve Jobs


The greatest wealth is to live content with little. – Plato


They learned to live contently with small things, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy not respectable, and to be rich not wealthy. They let the sacred and unconscious bloom amidst the common, rendering it all extraordinary. – David Paul Kirkpatrick


A simple man will have only what he needs, and he will know the difference between what he needs and what he wants. We feel that whatever we want, we desperately need. But before we possess the world, to our wide surprise we see that the world has already possessed us. – Sri Chinmoy


A person can be only shown a mirror, but it’s solely his duty to decide whether he wants to see his artificial beauty or natural personality.” – Anuj Somany

Practical Ways To Cope With Stress

When you’re feeling anxious or stressed, you may feel that there’s nothing you can do about it. However, no matter how stressful your life seems, there are a few strategies that will help you cope with stress and release some of the pressure in your life.

1. Identify the source of your stress. Ask yourself what it is that’s causing you this stress, some reasons are more obvious than others; such as work or family problems but sometimes it’s our own fears and thoughts that are contributing to our stress. The best thing you can do is to write down what you think is causing you this stress and the best way to solve it.

2. Take a time-out. Sometimes you have to take a step back to avoid making quick or irrational decisions. Going for a walk, practicing yoga, listening to music or any other stress-free activity will help you get moving so you can prepare your mind for better thinking and regain control of the situation.

3. Accept that some things are out of your control. If the cause of your stress is something you can’t control then you should subtract that from the list. Try to accept the things you can’t change and focus on coping with the things that you can. It will put your stress in perspective.

4. Ask for help. If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out for support instead of bottling your feelings up. Let your friends or family know how they can help you and communicate your feelings to them.

5. Engage in social activities. The best way to de-stress is to go out and have a good time with the people you enjoy being around. Engaging in social activities that make you happy is a good distraction and helps you find motivation again.

6. Look at the bigger picture. Reframe your problems by asking yourself if they will matter in the long run. If the answer is no, then you have to start redirecting your energy to the stuff that really matters and declutter your mind.

7. Make sure it is not your vulnerability. Being extra sensitive or vulnerable makes you stress over the smallest things. If you are in a bad mood, even the smallest stressors can have a huge impact. Try to distinguish between your mood and your problems.

8. Get enough sleep. When you are stressed out, your body and your brain need more sleep to recover. A good night sleep can fuel your productivity and help you manage your stress better.

9. Manage your time. Don’t fill your calendar with plans you can’t commit to. This will only add to your stress and blur your vision even more. Make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you’ll find it easier to stay calm and focused.

10. Monitor your environment. If the people around you are stressing you out or bringing in more negativity, try limiting the amount of time you spend with them. If your social media feed is full of depressing news and negative statuses then maybe you should consider deactivating your accounts for a few weeks. Minor changes in your environment will help you reduce the stress and get back to calmer state of mind.

Stop Blaming Others

Make it an every-day lullaby and refuse to blame anyone for anything – past, present or future. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. “

From this point forward, refuse to make excuses or to justify your behaviours. If you make a mistake, say, “I’m sorry, ” and get busy rectifying the situation. Everytime you blame someone else or make excuses, you give your power away. You feel weakened and diminished. You feel negative and angry inside. Refuse to do it.

Take charge of your life!!!

Reasons Why Young Adults Leave The Church

Around the world.

“Why do young adults leave the Church?” This question has been the subject of countless sermons, books, and (ahem) online articles. The concern of Churches and Christian parents is certainly justified. Life can be hard on teenagers, but the Church is a place where they can learn about God’s grace and draw strength from Christian fellowship. So why are so many of them choosing to leave?

Is it because of drugs? The Culture Wars? Same-sex marriage? Actually, according to Ed Stetzer on Christianity Today, their motivation is surprisingly plain. In a recent article, Stetzer lists six reasons why young adults leave the Church, beginning with the following three,

“We also asked young adults why they dropped out of church. Of those who dropped out, about 97 percent stated it was because of life changes or situations. That’s a pretty substantial number. Among their more specific reasons:

They simply wanted a break from church (27 percent).
They had moved to college (25 percent).
Their work made it impossible or difficult to attend (23 percent).”

Stetzer continues by saying,

“The reason that many church-attending young adults stopped going to church upon graduating from high school? Their faith just wasn’t personally meaningful to them. They did not have a first-hand faith. The church had not become a valued and valuable expression in their life—one that impacts how they live and how they relate and how they grow. Church was perhaps something their parents wanted them to do. They may have grown up in church, and perhaps they faced pressure from parents and even peers to be involved in church. But it wasn’t a first-hand faith.”

It’s surprising, but more often than not it’s the mundane things in life that can end up destroying our faith. Like the steady, subtle current of an ocean, small things can gently pull a person away from God. It’s not only teenagers who have to be vigilant either, any Christian can become a victim to small distractions. Chris Russell noted in a recent Crosswalk article that Christians can drift spiritually because of a busy schedule, misplaced affections, even abundance. He writes,

“We Americans are so fat with our own prosperity that we often make wealth our god and not the true King of heaven. This has also been a recurring theme throughout the entire Bible. People struggle, God blesses them, they become prosperous, and then they depart from God. Ironic, isn’t it?”

Having a strong faith is not just about attending Church or reading your Bible, it’s about making that faith your own. Faith is like a tree, it must be cultivated and grown by the individual, and no one else can do it. If Churches truly want to reach young adults, we must first teach them their importance of maintaining a personal faith.

What about you, what are your thoughts?

The Trap Of The Comfort Zone

The second mental obstacle that you need to overcome is the comfort zone. Many people become complacent with their current situations. They become so comfortable in a particular job or salary or any level of responsibility that they become reluctant ro make any changes at all, even for the better.

The comfort zone is a major obstacle to ambition, desire, determination, and accomplishment. People who get stuck in a comfort zone, if it’s combined with learned helplessness, are almost impossible to help in any way. Don’t let this happen to you.

Very short and precised but very important to take note of this trap.

Watch: Why Women Are More Anxious Than Men

By: Brianna Weist

I recently watched (and some of you may be familiar with) a set of social experiments in which a group of men and then a group of women agreed to go on a date with a person they met on Tinder – a model, who would be in a fat suit when they arrived.

The experiment claims to be based on the fact that number one fear for women dating online is that they’ll meet a serial killer, and the number one fear for men is that the woman will be fat.

Low and behold, when each of the men arrived and met their date, they were… offended. They were mad because they felt lied to, and did little to cover their displeasure with the woman’s appearance. Only one of them didn’t walk away or excuse himself to the bathroom – never to return. But none gave her a chance, or took any interest in getting to know who she was, all because she wasn’t thin.

Now, as I was watching this, I’ll be honest. I was thinking, well, okay, it’s not completely unreasonable to be off-put if you’re expecting one thing, and get another…

That was, until I saw the women’s video.

Not one of them walked away. They gave the guy a chance. They connected with him. They laughed at his jokes. They did acknowledge that they were disillusioned about his appearance, but they were not rude or entitled about it.

… And one of them kissed him at the end. Another offered up a second date. They got to know who he really was, because they were able to see past their expectations about what he should be.

Click to watch video for men

Click to watch for women

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that research shows women are twice as prone to anxiety as men, are twice as often diagnosed with anxiety disorders, and that women are significantly “more inclined toward negative emotion, self-criticism, and endless rumination about [their] problems.”

But here is the important part: we also know that this is not the result of a biological or hormonal difference. Indicating that it is, unsurprisingly, cultural.

Simply, women are not encouraged to honestly acknowledge their feelings and cope with them in proactive, mindful ways – and this is mostly to maintain how others perceive them.

Taylor Clark dubs this the “skinned knee effect,” wherein from a young age, boys are encouraged to confront their fears, and girls are encouraged to hide them. “If little Olivia shows fear, she gets a hug; if little Oliver shows fear, he gets urged to overcome it.”

And when these emotions “go underground,” they become ingrained in the subconscious, and then begin to have a huge and often overlooked impact on day-to-day interactions.

Studies also tell us that women tend to be insidiously competitive, jealous and spiteful toward other women, especially those they are close to. Because they are taught not to win at someone else’s expense (to be a perpetual people-pleasers and peace-makers) their healthy, natural, normal, innate competitiveness must become tempered.

And the more it is inhibited, the more it remains unacknowledged. As anybody can tell you, as soon as you pack a feeling away in a dark closet… it becomes a potential monster that you have to prepare yourself for – and that feeling of dread and suppression begins to bleed into otherwise unthreatening, daily situations.

Though these are just a few examples plucked from the pile of research on the anxiety gender gap, the point is that anxiety is, in an abstract sense, the anticipation that something ‘bad’ is coming, or the fear that one cannot handle it.

More accurately, the fear that they cannot hide it.

It’s the running idea that bad things cannot be dealt with because feelings cannot be felt. And so the fear of them, the fear of losing culturally-induced composure, compiles into anxiety. Intense anxiety. Unbearable anxiety that remains dormant until something sets it off and it crops up endlessly. “I know this sense of panic and urgency is coming from somewhere… and so I must search for it, project it and deal with it in ways that aren’t actually addressing the root of the problem.”

Women suffer greater anxiety than men because they’re taught… not to. They’re denied simply being honest about their feelings, and most often in a way that convinces them it will yield positive results. It will make people love them. They will seem “together.”

But at what cost?

In terms of the women in the experiment, certainly they were kinder, more positive, and opened themselves up to the possibility for real romance, but only because they were conditioned to be just that: open, accepting and willing, no matter what.

Who is to say they were actually interested in that man? I certainly am not. But what we do know is that the men who were not interested in their date didn’t have to pretend for the sake of someone else’s feelings.

There isn’t an anxiety gap. There is an honesty gap, and there is a decency gap. There’s a middle ground on which we each need to rest a foot: that you can be honest without hurting someone intentionally, that you can cope with your feelings without being violent or cunning about it, and most importantly, that it’s human to feel on edge when your instincts are being compressed. That the most we need to do is let our inner demons out and discover they were nothing more than the fear that they could be something else.

Let me know what you think about this by commenting your opinion.

Are We Over- Protecting Our Children?

This post was first posted on Breakpoint.

Maybe you’ve heard that phrase “killing them with kindness”? According to some, that may be what our culture is doing to today’s college students, at least psychologically.

Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College, sees what he calls “declining student resilience.” At one major university, “emergency calls to counseling had more than doubled over the past five years. Students are increasingly seeking help for, and apparently having emotional crises over, problems of everyday life.”

Gray said that one student felt traumatized because her roommate had called her a nasty name. Two others sought counseling because they’d seen a mouse in their off-campus apartment. They called the police, who, he says, “kindly arrived and set a mousetrap for them.” The Atlantic calls this kind of thing “the coddling of the American mind.”

Many of these emotionally stunted students can’t handle a bad grade, and their professors live in fear of negative student reviews or lawsuits. Or as one director of counseling said, “There has been … a decrease in the ability of many young people to manage the everyday bumps in the road of life.”

What’s going on? Dan Jones, the past president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors, points at parents, saying, “[Students] haven’t developed skills in how to soothe themselves, because their parents have solved all their problems and removed the obstacles. They don’t seem to have as much grit as previous generations.”

In other words, there’s been way too much helicopter parenting!

Cameron Cole, a youth pastor in Alabama, knows that overly protecting our kids isn’t biblical. Pain, after all, is part of spiritual growth. “On Jesus’s way to redeeming the world he encountered betrayal, injustice, torture, violence, condemnation, imprisonment, and alienation,” Cole writes. “How deluded I am when I think an alternate path exists for my child’s ‘hoped for’ service to God’s kingdom. He will not wear the crown … unless he bears a cross.”

Too many kids take the easy path, which is the only path they’ve ever known. They’re afraid to fail so they avoid risk at all costs. But our faith teaches us risky obedience to God, knowing He’s in control.

I’m reminded of this point every time I speak with my friend Naghmeh Abedini, the wife of imprisoned pastor Saeed. Jesus said, “I’m with you always.” And let’s not forget, “Nothing shall be impossible.” So let’s share this bracing perspective with our sons and daughters, and live by it.

And let’s not forget that college students in former generations followed this God of the impossible. In 1886, Dwight L. Moody presided over a meeting of 251 college students in Massachusetts. They came from all over the country, and eventually an interest grew in foreign missions. As ChristianHistory.net reports, one of the students, Robert Wilder, organized a meeting for all of those interested in missions, and 21 young people showed up. He later wrote, “Seldom have I seen an audience under the sway of God’s Spirit as it was that night. The delegates withdrew to their rooms or went out under the great trees to wait on God for guidance.”

When the conference was over, 100 students had committed themselves to become overseas missionaries. It was the start of a movement that saw tens of thousands of people carry the gospel around the globe. Is such a passion still conceivable for us?

Yes! But the key is what I learned in my years of teaching teens and college students: Remove the bubble wrap. And like Moody, encourage them toward a God-sized vision for their lives. Help them see their giftedness and how it relates to the needs in their world, so that they can pursue their role in God’s restoration of all things under the lordship of Christ.
And as their leaders, parents, and mentors we need to give them permission to try . . . and room to fail.

Source: Breakpoint