Circumstances Are Not Construction Zones (Podcast)

Do you ever question your value, or wonder why things in your life are happening? I can find myself asking God, “why me?,” and even viewing my circumstances and situations as construction zones. I make decisions but when I look up I see caution lights that make me question what I decided. It’s like my life is full of speed bumps, broken sidewalks and flashing lights that I should be paying attention to. It reminds me of the construction zones I see on the highway. Each event in our life serves a purpose; the good, the bad and the ugly are all shaping us. The good news is the price for each our lives is a price no one else can afford. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price, He knows our value. We are beautifully broken…

Broken, but Not Destroyed

Remember, we all have pains, people lie to us, others make us feel less important and possibly not valued. There is safety in realizing none of these things have destroyed us. We are conquers of our fears and are not supposed to feel guilty for our past. I can be vulnerable and admit I struggle with forgiving myself. I blame myself for damage and destruction I can see as my life. Flashing lights, orange cones, hazard signs and other warnings I failed to acknowledge in the past make up what I see as a damaged road.

“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” ― Oprah Winfrey.

In the article A big, beautiful, broken mess reminds us that “…God doesn’t look at a mess and see it the way that we do.” Since we are humans we interpret brokenness as a negative characteristic.
I find myself placing a ton of energy in regret and self-condemnation; focusing on broken parts instead of remembering Jesus died for my sins. He tells us “… it is finished”. This signifies His willingness to die for our sins, our struggles, our fears, and our inequities. My exterior can look broken, but my heart and worthiness belong to God. Therefore, what I see as a construction zone God see’s as a perfect canvas.
I remind myself daily that the enemy will not win and has no control over my life. The desire he has to kill, steal and destroy are not going to overshadow God’s grace. “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24

We Are Beautiful

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that fully well.” Psalm 139:14

We are the image of Christ. Because of this we can live knowing that any faults we see in ourselves are not from Him. Hard times are not a stranger to most people. What we must keep in mind is that our brokenness does not mean destruction. Our pieces are in the hands of the most high and He holds the key to shaping us. We are strong and resilient as the result of broken times. Even if we feel broken, the broken pieces make each of us uniquely beautiful.

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” ― Christine Caine. We are beautiful paintings, not construction zones.”

You can also listen and download on our podcast channel

Photo credit: Pinterest

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Getting Sucked into Comparing Yourself to Societies Norms

Have you ever observed people or yourself feeling taunted by social norms?

I’ve noticed the history of this for myself, spanning back to childhood, and I’ve noticed it time and time again for others I encounter in my work, where people have fallen into the hole of comparing themselves to others and comparing themselves to socially accepted norms and measures of ‘success’. Granted, it’s a pretty darn big hole, so actually, it’s not that hard to fall into! When I’ve witnessed this Comparison Conundrum as I like to call it, it’s like hearing a cry echoing from deep within the hole, which sounds a bit like this:

  • Everyone else is married now, and I’m not. Something’s wrong.
  • Everyone else is buying houses now, I guess I should too.
  • I’ve got this job but it’s not really a career like other people have.
  • They’ve found their passion, I still don’t know what mine is.
  • I’m falling behind.
  • I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
  • I want to ‘switch lanes’ in life but I don’t want to go backward. It’s too risky.
  • They are successful and did it that way; I should do it that way too.
  • They are thinner/more attractive/more fashionable/more successful/braver/stronger than me. I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough.
  • I’m not capable like them, I guess I’m just not destined to have a life like them.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This hole is so easy to fall into because often we’re invited into the hole, with our mind reinforcing that we’re falling behind via negative thoughts, supported by well-meaning people telling us that we should do this and that. So, of course, we’d then end up in the hole when everything points that way. Our mind reinforces what we see and hear, telling us it is true and if only we could figure out what we need to be and do in order to be like everyone else, then everything would be fine, right?

Except, you’re not everyone else. You’re you. No one is like you. No one. You make your own decisions about what you need and want, and when it feels good to you. If you want a house right now, buy one. If you don’t, don’t. If you want to travel, travel. If you want a big career, have it. If you want to do volunteer work, do it. If you want to be single, be single. If you want kids, have them. If you don’t, don’t. Do what feels good to you, not what others tell you that you should feel good about. And when I say others, I primarily include in that all the advertising, all the propaganda and all the mass media messaging we see day to day that conditions us in a way that we don’t even consciously realize. Start listening to the one thing you can trust – your soul. Your soul is your true self, below any rampant negative thoughts that are leading you astray.

And you might say, “I can’t hear my soul. I don’t know what it’s telling me!”

To which I would suggest that you be still and quiet as often as possible. Listen without fear of what rises up from within you. You do know what you want and need. You do know what makes you feel good. And, let your signals guide you home.

Listening to the advice of others, proffered from their own paradigm, will never triumph over your inner knowing and divine guidance.

  • Do you compare yourself to others?
  • Do you compare your situation and status to that of others?
  • What prompts you to do that?
  • How does that make you feel?

If you’re feeling sad, alone, disconnected, lacking, not enough or plain old exhausted from it, then give it up. Chose to let it go and be open to exploring who you are and what is important and meaningful to the real you – that is, you below any negative thoughts, and conditioning and any fear. We all have negative thoughts, we have all been conditioned and we all have fear. If you are alive, then you have experienced all of this, it is impossible not to. But now you are awake, and you have the choice to either be defined by these things or to break free.

Being someone you are not, in an attempt to live up to social norms, means that signals will eventually intervene to help you. As Marianne Williamson says, “The universe is self-organising and self-correcting”. If you are not aligned to who you really are, your true self, the natural order of the world in which we live will eventually assist you to see this. Intervening signals are not always pleasant, but they are signposts to help us head in a new, better, healthier, more beneficial direction. When things in your life ‘turn to custard’, it could well be because you are not in your flow, you might have accidentally swum into someone else’s flow. So, get out of their river and get in your own

Here is my final word on this subject, and when I say it to you, know that whatever I write is really a message to myself as much as it is to you. For in saying it to you I am reminding us both:

  • NEVER compare yourself to others. EVER.
  • NEVER try to be someone else. EVER.
  • You were born extraordinary and unique.
  • Any time you compare yourself to others, trying to be something else or like someone else, you deny the beautiful individuality that you were gifted when your soul chose to come into this life.

Create your own norms in life. The norms of society have no bearing on you unless you choose them. At all times, be yourself. There is nothing more magical, perfect and beautiful than you being you.

Photo credit: Pinterest

This Is An Interesting Story And Lesson For Men

When I started reading this post sent to me on my WhatsApp, I was first confused, but getting towards the end, it made real sense and lesson to be learnt. Please be patient enough to read it.

The metaphor used in this story Is amazing..

(To men) Please take time to ponder. 😕

(To women) Just enjoy the story. 😋

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was:
*What do women really want?*

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur’s closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.

She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur’s question thus:
“What a woman really wants?”

She said, “A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.”

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

“Which would you prefer?” She asked him. “BEAUTIFUL during the DAY… OR at NIGHT?”

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

OR,

would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

And Lancelot’s choice is given below…

BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!

OKAY?

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now, what is the moral to this

The moral is…

1. There is a ‘witch’ in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is. It’s how a man manages it

2. If you let a woman decide on her own she gives u d best. but if u force her with ur decisions she becomes a witch.

Hmmmm
What do you think ?

So, be careful how you treat a woman, especially your wife; so your prayers may be answered!!!

True or False???

Drop your comments below.

Happy Sunday guys!!!

The Greatest Success Possible

The Greatest Success Possible: Self-actualization. Self determination. Hard work. Achievement. Success. A pleased God. Reward.

I was on a church retreat recently that spoke on Jeremiah 2. During a quiet moment with the Lord, surrounded in a world of self-actualization and self-determination, a sudden hard truth impressed me. Regardless of your primary purpose or calling or destiny in this life, you’re actually incapable of doing it. Doesn’t matter what it is, you are incapable of performing the one thing you are created to do by design.

Despite your most intense focus, intention, and effort, you cannot glorify God. By your own efforts, you cannot please Him. Think about that and let it sink in. How could a finite and defective being, even one that’s been redeemed by Christ, ever please an infinite and perfect one? (Isaiah 64:6) By your own efforts, you cannot stop sinning. You cannot add one day to your life. And you cannot achieve anything at all truly great. You simply lack the capability to do so on your own.

We may immediately think of some superstar celebrity names that achieved greatness. Well greatness by our standards. Truly I tell you if they did it on their own then whatever they achieved was far less than what God designed them to be. They failed. Funny, the one thing we all were ultimately created for: to glorify God, is actually the one thing we are most incapable of doing.

Depressed? It may seem sad, but it’s by design.

“My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me, the spring of living water. They have been for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” – Jeremiah 2:13

The harder you try to make yourself under your own power a usable cistern, the more useless you become to God. Even when grace saves you under Jesus, if you continue to power forward under your own might, you’ll fail to please Him.

Only God can glorify Himself. Only infinite and eternal can satisfy infinite and eternal.

So the only way you can please God, your actual ultimate destiny regardless of what your calling may be, is to be as humble as possible. Be honest with your inner core of your condition of a being as useful as a broken cistern, sinful and useless under your own strength.

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart O God.” – Psalm 51:17

It is through humbly becoming as much of a shell and clearing out your own determination, drive, and passions that God can finally fill Himself in you as a usable vessel. This is in stark contrast to our current culture’s understanding. It’s by breaking yourself down into a limp puppet that God can finally attach His strings. He brings you to true animated life. Then and only then when you have “self-actualized” yourself to what you really are (nothing) and have identified your greatest capability (completely incapable) is when God can finally assume control. He uses you for your real destiny. This will now be 100% by His hand alone and not one iota of your humanity.

Related Post: The Greatness of Humility

Logically, the only thing we humans are ever in control of, is the first step: removing our pride. We were never in control and capable of anything. Under God’s rule and measurement of true success, our own power and strength exists for the sole purpose of removing our own power and strength. We are to make room for *His* power and strength. Hence, the greatest thing we could ever actually “do” for God is to “undo” ourselves.

This post won’t be possible without the inspiration and support of Jesse Hunter.

Please drop your comments, and share…

Pain Fades, Love Remains, Joy Returns

Pain is a part of this life. Brokenness is all around us. Parents split. Families’ abuse. The cancer wins. Children die. The only thing I know to be true is this: God is faithful. He is a deliverer. A healer. A savior. A protector. A warrior. A lover. A completer.

I’ve seen some pretty dark stuff in my days in this world. Perhaps the darkest was when I was still in the world, doing stuffs that had no meaning but hurting people around me. Also too many of my friends died. There was no escape from the pain. It was crushing. I never considered killing myself, but I can now see how some people could do it. The pain is simply too much to bear. It was the worst time of my life.

But God moved with a Mighty Hand. He heard me crying out and “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” – Psalm – 40:2 God brought to me a community of faith that changed my life and surrounded me with an amazing family in Christ. I walked in to new life.

He restored my heart and healed me of the wounds. I saw how good and mighty He really is. I worship Him for His faithfulness to bind up a broken heart. It didn’t happen overnight, though. Even as mighty as He moved, healing is a process. It seemed as though the pain would always be with me but again His promises are true: Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

The night may last longer than you wish, but when The Lord is your God, the morning always comes.

This year will be the second since I lost some very good friends. Am sure they are in peace and with Jesus. Not only did God help me walk into new life, but He saw fit to completely heal me. I am free. Looking back, I realized that even though He had been healing me, I was still walking with a limp through life. While I was not under the weight of tragedy any longer, joy had not returned to my heart.

There was a weekend outing with some church friends, we challenged ourselves to some games filled with lots of laughs and fun. I cannot remember ever laughing so much. It was the best time I have had in years.

“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.” Psalm 40:3

I would never wish such tragedy on my worst enemy but by clinging to Jesus during the night, He has restored my soul.

I know some of you have experienced terrible things, I know that. Just remember, no matter how long the night, the morning always comes. After that season, the Lord left me with a simple message I would share with you. The pain fades. Love remains. Joy returns.

3 Questions To Confirming Your Purpose

Hey guys, thanks for stopping by.

Today I will be pointing out 3 questions to confirming your purpose.

real success story in the mountain,sport couple woman with successful with sunset

Purpose is the feeling of having a definite aim and of being determined to achieve it. A very important thing you want to achieve in life.

Living a life without regret is a universal desire. I’ve had too many sleepless nights around the question, “is this it?” I’ve worked hard… and even had some great achievements, but at times, I’m still troubled by the missed opportunities, the things I’ve never said, the trips I never took, or decisions I’ve failed to make. This is regret.

It’s the feeling of missing out. It can sap your passion, poison your future, and even have an effect on those around you. It leads me to this positive thought:

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”

But in the end, we can’t do it all. We all realize life is moving faster and faster to our final day – and we understand a life without regret is impractical, but how do we live life with less regret? How can we chase our dreams, live our passion, and love our lives all at the same time?

3 Critical Questions to Confirming Your Purpose:

  1. What are you most passionate about? – (Design and Creativity, Charity, Tutor, Entrepreneurship, Etc.)
  2. Who’s most important to you? (Spouse, Best Friend, Cousin, Parents, Children, Strangers, Etc.)
  3. Where is your favorite place on earth? (NYC, Spain, Canada, Australia, Hawaii, Your Home, Church, Etc.)

If you’re doing what you’re passionate about, with the people most important to you, in place that excites you, you are living the dream.

Now, it’s up to you to not only answer these questions but to make at least one of them happen this year… because remember, in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

Let’s hear from you in our comment section.

Have a productive day!

What Are You Grateful For This Year

This year is such a blessing for me. God truly answers prayers, He never fails.

Am grateful to God for the gift of life and saving me from death traps during my traveling.

Am thankful and grateful to God for my family and friends that stood by me this year.

Am grateful to God for Good Health and sound mind.

Am grateful to God this year, allowing me to marry my best friend and Queen this year.

Am grateful to God for providing for my needs.

Am thankful and grateful to all of you reading my blog, and my community members. You guys are my professional colleagues. Thank you for everything have learnt from you guys this year.

Am grateful for the word of God. A-side the persecutitof Christians around the world, the gospel is still spreading very fast.

Am grateful for my country Nigeria. With the difficulties and economic downfall. God still kept us moving and alive.

Am grateful for my place of work and the favour and protection God gave to me.

We all have something to be grateful for this year. If you don’t have anything, just look at the way you breathing and alive. If you feel you asked God for something and you didn’t get it. Don’t fret and be dissapointed, God will surprise you in 2019 in Jesus name.

I love you guys, see you in 2019

Happy New Year in advance…

Your Past Is Not Your Future

wake up success GIF by Interstellardesignz

Many people had difficult experiences growing up. They fell on hard times and became associated with the wrong people. I am a perfect example of this, after giving up on writing different exams to enter the university, I was miserable at home. It led me to different bad kinds of stuff like following the wrong set of people, I stole, and was very rude and disrespect my mum.

Anyways let us go on with the main reason for this post.

Some people were convicted for their crimes after behaving in ways that were illegal or socially unacceptable. Thank God I wasn’t…

They thought seriously about the kind of person they wanted to be known as, and thought of, in the future. They decided to change their lives by changing the values that they lived by. By making these decisions and sticking to them, they changed their lives. And what others have done, you can do as well.

Remember: It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from; all that really matters is where you’re going.

If you were an outstanding person in every respect, how would you behave toward others? What sort of impression would you leave on others after you had met them and spoken with them? Imagine you could be a completely excellent person. How would you be different from who you are today?

Please drop your comment and contribution to this post.

Have a blessed day!

Trust Your Intuition

Self-trust is the foundation of greatness. Self-trust comes from listening to your intuition, to your “still, small voice” within. Men and Women begin to become great when they begin to listen to their inner voices and absolutely trust that they are being guided by a God each step of the way.the following GIF by Fox TV

Living in alingment with your true values is the royal road to self-confidence, self-respect, and personal pride. In fact, almost every human problem can be resolved by returning to values. Whenever you experience stress of any kind, look into yourself and ask, “In what way am i compromising my innermost values in this situation?”

Terrified About The Future? Read This…

Rania has something to contribute to this interesting topic on if you terrified about the future, then you in the right place.

“How do I prepare myself for the worst?” A friend of mine asked me the other day, and I started wondering why do we always assume the worst first? Why are we so scared of the unknown that we think it’s going to attack us and stab us in the back? Why is the future associated with trepidation instead of tranquility?

We are always scared of the unknown considering that we fear the future will mirror our past, because we are born to believe that history repeats itself. But human beings are not history, they reinvent themselves instead of repeating themselves. If you are scared of the future, I ask you to try to see it as a challenge rather than a threat, a pleasant surprise, or a compelling story that is still unfolding. Sometimes knowing the ending ruins the story, and life is all about the story.

If you are scared of tomorrow, think of the things you can control today, the things you have now, think of just today and how you can get through it. Think of how you can make today slightly better, think of how you can make this day a good day in case history repeats itself tomorrow. Think of making today count, maybe that is the only possible way you can prepare for tomorrow.

If you are scared of the worst that can happen, think of all the times in the past you were scared of what may come, and thought of worst case scenarios that never happened.

If you are scared of failure, think of the past regrets you had because you didn’t try, think of the “what ifs” and “if onlys” you asked yourself when you felt that life is passing you by. Think of failure as not trying rather than winning. Think of failure as a battle you lost but a war you could still win. Think of failure as a complicated friend rather than a vile enemy.

If you are scared of not being enough, think of the story of the twenty dollar bill, when the speaker held it up after he dropped it on the ground and fumbled it in the dirt, after he almost ripped it apart, and yet many raised their hand and still wanted it because it was still a twenty dollar bill.. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, good enough or not good enough, your value never changes, you are still priceless to those who love you and those who will love you.

If you are scared of heartbreak, think of the wisdom and strength you gained from your heartbreak, think of the self-discoveries you made out of your isolation and introspection. Think of the times that your brokenness inspired you to write, or sing, or dance, or just pack your bags and travel. Think of how you were not afraid of love once upon a time, and why you should never be afraid of love again. If you are afraid of love, perceive it as an act of giving rather than receiving. If you are afraid of love, think of how you can be even more afraid of loneliness.

If you are scared of death, think of the many times you died inside and how you came to see the light of day again. Think of all the near death experiences you had and remember how those experiences made you a lot more aware of your life and a lot more appreciative of it. We are mortal and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. You are here now, so be here, let the threat of death pave the way for you to live a daring life. Let’s live like we are dying, than die like we had never lived.

The comment section is opened for your thoughts and views about this.

Repost: How Many Celebrity Tragedies Before We Understand That Fame And Money Don’t Mean Happiness?

There are many conversations to be had in the wake of Robin Williams’ death. About the perils of depression; the silent weight of scrutiny that’s internalized when we treat famous people like characters, not humans; and the love a generation could have for a man, though we hadn’t taken a moment to discuss him until he was gone.

When tragedies like these occur, the only thing there is to do is take something and grow collectively. At the end of the day, the million+ tweets and posts and discussions about Robin are (for all we know) unbeknownst to him. They’re for us. So while we’re at it, let us take this too: You will not be happier tomorrow if you do not create happiness today.

We are aggregators and perpetuators of the idea that external success yields internal fulfillment. We spend our whole lives seeking that greatness: a physical body others can appreciate, stacks of money you can measure, material items other people can get wide-eyed and jealous of, attention and admiration that we believe will fill some emptiness within us.

External success — success that is sought because other people can perceive it — is a dark and winding path of putting our whole lives into something that never does fill the gaping, heavy hole that sent us running away from ourselves to begin with.

I have a hard time believing that Robin — or really anybody who has perished despite a seemingly phenomenal life — wouldn’t want us to understand this. More importantly, because of those people, but more due to our own internal convictions of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and disconnectedness (that we all at some level understand) I believe that this is what we need to start understanding.

Despite the endless feed of overdoses and tragedies, we remain a culture that is, for the most part, decidedly unaware. If you asked someone, in theory, does money and fame mean happiness? They’d probably say no, because they think that’s the right answer. And yet. But still. It’s easier and more instantly gratifying to keep seeking the external. It’s common, it’s normal, it’s expected, it doesn’t require much by the way of fiercely letting your own light refract into the untouched darkness of others’.

We are a society driven by ego. We have monopolized even the most natural and simple of processes for the sake of these empty, meaningless, physical accolades. We took control of animals to help discover/conquer new territories, then put them in concentration camps to be slaughtered (though, then again, we’ve done that to each other.) We’ve changed more on the Earth in 50 years than in the last 13,000 combined. Industrialized farming poisons our food for the sake of cheap, exponential growth, and our food workers wear radiation suits. Everything has been cloned, standardized, copied and individuality has been destroyed, ironically, in the face of our very isolation that has to be mentally resolved before anything else can be. We just continue to take and take and take and take.

And when other things aren’t enough, we take control of each other, and in the interim, we monopolize ourselves, too. We do this every time we police someone into behaving one certain way. Every time we believe what we’re conditioned to and don’t think for ourselves. Every time we allow something ultimately meaningless to control our lives because the one thing we have not learned to do is find something that does mean something to us.

We created a culture that cares far more about how things appear than how they actually are. As long as this carries on is as long as we’ll be seeking a great nothingness.

And the funny thing, the important thing, the only thing worth knowing here, really, is that if every one of us took it upon ourselves to fill ourselves with deep understanding and conviction, to perceive unity rather than isolation, to learn to embrace individuality in harmony with everyone else, these problems would disappear. We do not have to fix the outer. We do not have to deconstruct the society we live in to fix it. We have to deconstruct the illusions within us.

This is not something we vote on. This is not something we influence others to do. This is not what happens when we take control of other beings and things. We cannot keep perpetuating the world that we do, and losing the things that we are, the people we love, and ourselves. We do not just owe this to our heroes and our children and the people who have passed. We owe this to ourselves. We owe it to our own happiness to stop feeding into the incessant cruelty, to stop judging other people and policing them into a life we deem acceptable. We owe it to ourselves to ask for help when we need it. To help others when they do. To let our suffering move us toward deeper, internal acceptance and awareness and okayness through the external knowing that all is one and one is all and to know that no matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

Credit image: Pinterest

Questions You Should Ask Yourself Daily

The greatest block in your life is YOU.

The greatest solution to that block is also YOU.

If you do not learn from your experiences, and take control of your own energy (your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions) then you will surely continue to reap the same results and repeat the same patterns.

If those results and patterns are working for you, then great!

If they’re not, then below are a set of wise questions to help you tap into your own inner wisdom for the answers that will propel you into the year ahead as a clearer, more inspired, empowered and insightful you.

Everything in your life stems from your energy and the paradigm through which you view the world.

So it’s time to own that and POWER UP.

Grab a pen and paper, and answer the following questions.

As you reflect, consider the past 6-12 months of your life, and the coming 6-12 months.

You are going to learn from the past to elevate yourself in the present, and prepare for an inspired future!

  • have I been doing, and continue to do, in my life that I know is NOT working for me?
  • Why have I not yet taken action to ‘course correct’ my journey in order to get different results?
  • What am I procrastinating about doing?
  • What negative habits do I have that I know I need to let go of? Click here to refer to my list “28 Habits that Block Your Happiness & How to Let Them Go”
  • Regarding the greatest challenges that I faced in the past 6-12 months, what lessons did I learn that I can apply in future for my benefit?
  • Is there anything I intended to achieve in the past 6-12 months that did not eventuate?
  • Did I invest my attention, time or resources into my personal growth, knowledge, wellbeing and/or happiness in the past 6-12 months year in any way?
  • What goal, dream or aspiration do I have for myself for the coming 6-12 months that I’m ready to make happen?
  • Where is fear currently controlling me?
  • Am I feeling professionally fulfilled?
  • What would I most like to learn how to do or be for the 6-12 months ahead?
  • How have I been using my “free time” and has that helped me feel inspired, vibrant, healthy and fulfilled?
  • Are my current habits for eating, drinking and exercising working for me or against me?
  • Am I holding any resentment towards others or myself?
  • How could I be of service in the 6-12 months ahead in a way that will make the world a better place?
  • Which of my relationships need more of my loving attention to prosper?
  • Which of my relationships are toxic and no longer serve myself or the other person?
  • What have been my strengths and achievements in the past 6-12 months that I can celebrate?
  • Am I living a life that is meaningful to me?
  • Am I proud of who I am, how I behave and what I offer into the world?
  • What feelings dominated my experience of life in the 6-12 months gone by?
  • What feelings do I most want to experience in the 6-12 months ahead?
  • What I am most passionate about in my life that I’d like to do more of?
  • If I could improve one aspect of my life, what would it be? (e.g. relationships, career, finances, health, state of mind, emotional balance, adventure, self-expression…)

20 Simple Reminders To Keep You Going When You Don’t Know What To Do With Your Life

1. Believe that your calling is closer than you think. We spend so much time thinking about what our calling is and how we will fulfill it instead of trying to follow our curiosity or the excitement we feel towards something over the other.

2. Our calling may not be life-changing, but it guides our steps in the right direction. A lot of people think their calling has to be something extraordinary or magical, but sometimes our calling may be very real and ordinary but it has the potential to make our lives extraordinary.

3. Stop thinking that your life should be dramatic. We are all waiting for that big shot, that big moment where we turn our lives around, be filthy rich, and travel the world. This false belief is what leads us to be disappointed with our lives, thus we force ourselves to consider making big changes that doesn’t make sense to us thinking that this is the true definition of happiness.

4. The best way to figure out what we want to do with our lives is to keep making tiny strides toward a better life, making small changes one step at a time.

5. Once we find our calling, we shouldn’t let failure stop us. We have to keep trying over and over again. There is no such thing as beginner’s luck when it comes to our life’s purpose. The more we try, the wiser and smarter we will be and we will finally get it right one day.

6. Don’t romanticize the future or blame the past. When we feel lost, we have a tendency to blame our past for getting us to where we are now, so we romanticize a better future without really changing ourselves which only adds to our discomfort.

7. Although it is easier to play the blame game when we are not happy and we don’t want to hold ourselves accountable for our fate, but we have to remember romanticizing the future without actively finding ways to make it better will not change our lives.

8. The best thing we can do when we feel this way is to get real with ourselves about what went wrong in the past and how we can fix it so we can avoid falling for the same trap in the future.

9. It’s also good to remember that life is a bundle of contradictions and it will not always be the one we pictured or go exactly the way we wanted.

10. Read enriching books and turn off the TV. Reading invites us to a new world of lessons and guidance, the quiet moments we spend with our books can have a better effect than any show we watch on TV. Books cultivate & feed our minds and offer valuable lessons we wouldn’t learn anywhere else.

11. Success is subjective and doesn’t have a universal definition. There is no one right way to live or one definition to success. It is easy to get influenced by the fantasies, stories and movies around us but at the end of the day everyone will end up paving their own way to success.

12. Taking the time to discover our strengths will help us learn how to hone them in our current life roles, and give us more confidence in moving forward with our lives.

13. The first ingredient to deal with the uncertainty of life is learning how to be patient with yourself and everything around you, and the patience to wait for the life you truly desire.

14. The second ingredient is to practice letting go of all the unrealistic expectations we had, the old patterns that keep holding us back, and the resentment that consumes our heart and blurs our clarity.

15. Friends and family are here to support us; we should go to them when we feel lost, they can provide us with their help and wisdom and give us the pep talk we need to get back on our feet again.

16. Change is the only constant in life so we should do our best to embrace the changes that come our way and the changes within ourselves.

17. There is no deadline to our lives. Sometimes, we think we want to do something and then once we try it, we realize it might not be what we want after all. It’s not the end of the world – it’s how we know what doesn’t work so we can figure out what will work no matter how old we are.

18. Learning to be grateful for the small things will make a huge difference in our day to day. Adopting this outlook may help prevent us from over-emphasizing the importance of the bad things in our lives and give us a healthier attitude to deal with the discomfort of our current situation.

19. Even if we get what we want, we will be faced with new challenges and responsibilities tomaintain it.

20. “Good things take time” and “no one has it all figured out” are two powerful reminders we should repeat to ourselves whenever we feel like we don’t know what to do with our lives.

Things I Am Grateful For Today (And Always)

1. That humans are a self-healing species.

2. The infinitude of people wiser and more talented than I, because of whom I will always be able to learn more, see differently, understand better, and generally be entertained.

3. That anytime something hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to initially, something better did. Always. Without fail.

4. My wife is with me when I was researching this. Been thankful for everything God has done for us.

5. The abundance of foods and cultures and restaurants and diners that exist in my little corner of the world, and that I get to taste a little bit of everything as often as I like.

6. I have never once in my life worried about being too cold in the winter because I couldn’t afford a sweater or jacket.

7. Friends who have loved me more than I loved myself, and who taught me how to love myself.

8. Hugs.

9. Cooking, and sharing it with others. It’s been something I have really grown a love for this past year.

10. That nothing lasts forever, which is, essentially, just a call to be present.

11. That I live in a hemisphere that experiences all four seasons.

12. Second chances. Third chances. Forgiveness. The ability to say: thank you for that experience, and mean it.

13. Nature. And trees. The after-rain smell, the springtime smell. Mountains and trails and and the fact that I have feet and legs to walk them.

14. The funny fact that the nature of realizing a problem is also you recognizing that there is a solution.

15. My job. The fact that I get to write every day. The other amazing writers and producers I get to read and work with and publish.

16. Coffee, and coffee shops at night.

17. A long meal in a dimly lit restaurant with a bottle of wine and someone you love.

18. The excitement of knowing you have reservations for a long meal in a dimly lit restaurant with a bottle of wine and someone you love.

19. That I have rent to pay, dishes to do, laundry to fold, and dinner to cook; because it means I have my own home, have eaten, am clothed, and have more food available to me.

20. How much joy the little things bring (knowing that that joy is always accessible.)

21. Finding a song you love so much you listen to it 20 times in a row and it just gets better and better with every word and riff and beat you start to memorize.

22. Handwriting anything.

23. Farmers markets.

24. The smell of someone you’re falling in love with, right when you’re falling in love with them.

25. The fact that there is no limit to the number of people we can fall in love with – and that it is possible to do so, each time, as wholly as we did before.

26. Confident people who live their lives and speak their truths and redefine beauty and greatness and wonder and what it means to LIVE just by the nature of their living. (People don’t become inspiring by trying to help others, just by being themselves.)

27. Kids. I envy teachers (though I acknowledge how much work they do and how crappy I’d be as one). Regardless, my real joy in life is playing games in my comfort zone and eating biscuit with a cup of fresh juice, watching my favourite season movies.

28. Warm, comfy beds.

29. The simple, perfect knowledge that my only real purpose is to be. Right here, just like this. My name will fade with successions of generations, and eventually, one day, nobody will know I existed. But for now, just for today, I am awake and alive to see and feel and breathe and live in a foreign, temporary body. If there is something more beautiful than that, show it to me, I’ll be surprised.

30. Everything I have healed, everything I have learned, and how being happy, being present, creating more, and being abundant in every way, always begins with thankfulness.

Powerful Lessons You Can Only Learn Through Experience

No matter how many degrees we have or what kind of education we received, there are some thing that only life can teach us-lessons that we only learn in the school of life.

1. The meaning of purpose.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”~Friedrich Nietzsche.

We may graduate with honors and pick a great career, but it can still make us feel unfulfilled, this is when we learn the importance of finding meaning and purpose in our lives that goes beyond the realm of a secure job and a good education.

2. How to be independent.

“To find yourself, think for yourself.”~Socrates

We learn that we have to stand on our own and take care of ourselves. Our parents and teachers won’t guide us anymore, so it’s just us against the world and we have to be prepared for it, because no one is better equipped to answer our own questions but ourselves.

3. We can’t control time.

“You can have it all. Just not all at once.”~Oprah Winfrey

Life teaches us that we won’t always get what we want right away, it teaches us that we still don’t have control over time no matter how good our time management skills are and no matter how good we are at predicting our future. If it’s not our time yet, we can do nothing about it.

4. How to move on from failure.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”~ Winston S. Churchill

In school when we failed a class, it was easy to make up for it or study harder for the next one, but in life, failure can scar us or even change our whole perspective on the meaning of life. Life teaches us that failure is a part of it, and that success can only come after so many failures. We learn how to move on from failure and accept it as part of our journey.

5. How to be patient.

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”~Aristotle

If we can’t control time, then we must be patient enough to wait for what we want. Life doesn’t have a specific timeline set for us by our teachers, we now have to be patient and have faith that the things we want will come when we are ready for it rather than when we want it.

6. We all need love.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”~Lao Tzu

Not the puppy love or the high school love; we need the real kind of love, the love that is reflected in the support of others, the kindness of others and the love that elevates our lives. We never studied how to find love or how to be loved, so we keep learning as we go, even if it means that we won’t find it right away.

7. Life is difficult.

“Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”~M. Scott Peck

As we grow up, we learn that life is not going to be easy, it is not like a hard semester that will pass and we will never have to worry about it again. We learn that it can actually get harder as your responsibilities grow. Life teaches us how to roll with the punches to survive and that it is not always smooth sailing.

8. We will scatter our hearts in the wrong places.

“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.”~Mark Z. Danielewski

We will pick wrong careers and wrong partners that will not be very kind with our hearts. We may not always understand why we wasted our deepest emotions over something that introduced us to misery but life will let us know the reason eventually-in time-or maybe we will never know.

9. We have a choice.

While many things will be out of our control, we still have a choice. A choice in the way we see things, a choice in the way we react to things, a choice in the way we become more cautious in the future, a choice in the way we let our circumstances define who we are.

10. We all need help.

“God gave us crying so other folks could see when we needed help, and help us.”~Joshilyn Jackson

No matter how independent we are, we will need some sort of help along the way. We are not immune to disappointment and heartbreak and sometimes we just can’t find the strength to pick ourselves up. Life will teach us that we can’t make it alone even if we try.

11. Everything is temporary.

“Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry. It can’t last forever either.”~Unknown

Pain is temporary. Feelings are temporary, even our time on earth is temporary, which is why we have to make the best out of this temporary time and try not to give power to temporary emotions to ruin our lives.

12. Nothing is impossible.

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”~Shel Silverstein

Life is difficult but it’s also fascinating. In the blink of an eye it can present us with a wonderful opportunity that can change our life around. It can bring us closer to our dream job or our dream partner. Life can make our dreams come true.

13. Never get attached to plans.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”~ Woody Allen

It’s good to have a blueprint of how we want our lives to look like in 5 or 10 years but we must not get too attached to it because we change and our plans surely change too. Life teaches us that we need to have plan b, and c and d.

14. We have to face our fears.

“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”~ C. JoyBell C.

Life teaches us that at some point we will be faced with things that absolutely terrify us. Losing someone we loved, losing our job, moving away from home,…etc. We can’t escape fear so we have to learn how to face it and walk with it.

15. We have to love who we are.

“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”~Unknown

If we want to make our lives a bit easier than we have to love ourselves- not in a narcissistic way- but in a compassionate way. We have to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and failures, we have to believe in ourselves even if those around us aren’t believing in us, we have to learn when to walk away from people who are not good for us, and we have to love ourselves even if we are not who we wanted to be or where we wanted to end up.