The Only Problem With Your Life Is The Way You Think About It

1. You generally spend more time thinking about your life than you do actually living it. You spend more time dissecting problems than you do coming to solutions, more time daydreaming than you do asking yourself what those thoughts indicate is lacking or missing in your waking life, or coming up with new solutions as opposed to actually committing to the ones that are already in front of you. You’ve replaced “reflection” with “experience,” and wonder why you feel unfulfilled.

2. You don’t find wonder in the simple pleasures, the way you once did. You think nature is boring and “play” is for children and there’s nothing awe-inspiring about a shaft of light through the window or a stranger’s smile or a spring day or your favorite book in bed. When you’ve lost sight of the magic of the little things, it’s not because the magic has gone elsewhere, only that you’ve chosen to disregard it in favor of something else.

3. You have something you wanted in the past, but you don’t enjoy it the way you thought you would, or you’ve replaced your desire for it with a desire for something else. Bring yourself back to the feeling of wanting what you have more than anything, the way you once did. Try to embody that. You’re making yourself prouder than you realize.

4. If you were to tell your younger self what your life is like now, they’d be in disbelief. You seriously could not have imagined that your life would turn out as well as it did – that the worst things became turning points, not endless black holes of emotion.

5. You think of money in terms of “obligation” not “opportunity.” Your mindset is: “I have to pay my bills,” as opposed to “I get to pay my bills, which house me, clothe me, and feed me, and that I can pay for by myself.” If you don’t value money by appreciating what it does for you, you’ll never feel as though you have enough.

6. You think you don’t have enough friends. You’re measuring the connection in your life by a quantity, not a quality, assuming that the problem is not enough around you, when it’s really that there’s not enough inside you.

7. You’re either over-reliant or under-attached to the friends you do have. You either don’t keep in touch enough or you get easily frustrated because you think that friends should make you feel “better” and “happy” in an unrealistic way. So you think that the only way to achieve that is to over-bond yourself to them, or disregard them when they don’t fulfill the role you’ve imposed on them (hence your feeling as though you don’t have enough!)

8. You imagine your life as though someone else was seeing it. Before you make a decision, you recite a storyline in your head. It goes something like this: “she went to college, she got this job, she married this guy after a terrible breakup, and all was well.” This is what happens when your happiness starts to come from how other people feel about you, as opposed to how you feel about yourself.

9. Your goals are outcomes, not actions. Your goals are to “be successful” or “see a certain number in the bank” as opposed to “enjoy what you do each day, no matter what you’re doing” or “learn to love saving more than frivolously spending.” Outcomes are just ideas. Actions are results.

10. You assume you have time. When it comes to doing what really matters to you – reconnecting with family, writing that book, finding a new job – you say “I’m only [such and such an age] I have a long time.” If you assume you “have time” to do something, or that you’ll do it later, you probably don’t want it as much as you think you do. There isn’t more time. You don’t know. You could be dead tomorrow. It doesn’t mean you have to get everything done today, but that there’s rarely an excuse not to start.
11. A bad feeling becomes a bad day. You think that experiencing negative emotions is the result of something being wrong in your life, when in reality, it’s usually just a part of being human. Anxiety serves us, pain serves us, depression does too. These things are signals, communications, feedbacks, and precautions that literally keep us alive. Until you begin thinking this way, all you will perceive is that “good feelings mean keep going” and “bad feelings mean stop,” and wonder why you’re paralyzed.

12. You think that being uncomfortable and fearful means you shouldn’t do something. Being uncomfortable and fearful means you definitely should. Being angry or indifferent means you definitely shouldn’t.

13. You wait to feel motivated or inspired before you act. Losers wait to feel motivated. People who never get anything done wait to feel inspired. Motivation and inspiration are not sustaining forces. They crop up once in awhile, and they’re nice while they’re present, but you can’t expect to be able to summon them any given hour of the day. You must learn to work without them, to gather your strength from purpose, not passion.

14. You maladaptively daydream. Maladaptive daydreaming is when you imagine extensive fantasies of an alternative life that you don’t have to replace human interaction or general function. Most people experiencing it while listening to music and/or moving (walking, riding in a car, pacing, swinging, etc.) Rather than cope with issues in life, you just daydream to give yourself a “high” that eliminates the uncomfortable feeling.

15. You’re saving up your happiness for another day. You’re sitting on the train on the way to work, thinking how beautiful the sunrise looks, and how you’d like to read your favorite book, but you don’t in favor of checking your email again. You begin to feel a sense of awe at something simple and beautiful, and stop yourself, because your dissatisfaction fuels you. You’re creating problems in one area of your life to balance out thriving in another, because your happiness is in a mental container.

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Reasons Why Pain Makes You A Better Person

Reasons Why Pain Makes You A Better Person

It is a fact of life that we will experience pain time and time again – pain changes people. It may take a while for the pain to leave your body and your heart or it may be engraved inside of you forever, but I realized that every time I experienced unbearable pain, I changed significantly – changed for the better. There is something about going through a lot of pain that makes you want to be a good human being.

Here’s why pain can make you a better person:

1. It makes you compassionate. When you go through a lot of pain, you become more empathetic; you don’t want others to go through what you’ve been through and you don’t wish the pain you experienced upon anyone. It teaches you how to be kind and to never underestimate someone else’s pain just because you haven’t gone through it yourself.

2. It makes you wiser. The little things don’t bother you anymore, you don’t sweat the small stuff like you used to; you look at the bigger picture instead. Pain makes you look at life differently and it makes you understand the essence of life.

3. It makes you cherish your relationships . Pain makes you value your relationships more, you realize that you have people you can lean on in times of trouble and people who genuinely love you and are happy to support you. Pain makes you strengthen the bond between you and your closest friends and family.

4. It makes you stronger. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. After the storm has passed, pain makes you a lot stronger and better prepared to face difficult situations. Pain is sometimes the training you need to pass the tests of life.

5. It makes you re-evaluate your life. It makes you reconsider your career, your health, your finances and your relationships. It can help you go in another direction or find a meaningful purpose for your life. Pain makes you stop and question a lot of things and try to find answers and these answers can change your life.

6. It can be a major source of inspiration. Your pain can be your main inspiration for a new project, for a new charity, for a new community event and if you’re an artist, it will be the catalyst for the art you produce. Most masterpieces were painted strokes of pain.

7. Your love becomes stronger. You love more deeply and you are more open to being vulnerable. Even though pain makes you stronger, it makes you softer too. It makes you want to give love and ease someone else’s pain. Your love becomes pure and more profound.

8. It makes you fight for happiness. When you’re in pain, you look for waysto feel better and ways to be happy. You do things you never thought you would just to put a smile on your face. It makes you active in the pursuit of happiness.

9. It makes you more spiritual. When you can’t understand why certain things happen to you, you tend to look for answers outside of yourself. You try to understand God and the universe. You try to comprehend the divine laws and you start to slowly believe that there must be a bigger reason for your pain – you become more in touch with your spirituality and you pay more attention to it.

10. Your scars make you beautiful. The scars no one can see, the scars that hold stories of pain and survival, the scars that show that you’ve fought for something or loved someone, the scars that indicate that you have been bruised but you’re still walking – your scars make you different, they make you a human being with imperfections and they make you special .

3 Tips for Dealing with Unemployment Stress

“Unfortunately, we will have to let you go…”

It was a Friday afternoon when in the aftermath of this devastating sentence, I packed up my things.

For months afterwards, I replayed my co-workers long faces, their barely concealed shock, and their naked relief that it hadn’t been them.

As this period grew longer and longer though, I was attacked by fear of the unknown, confused, unmotivated and sort of damaged. It was later that I came to terms with it. I became convinced that this was the best thing that ever happened to me – and it was! Because it opened a lot of doors inside of me that never knew it was there.

Unemployment is one of the many challenges that people face in the course of their careers.

The hardest thing about unemployment is not the lack of a job, but the self-doubt, the depression that creeps in, as job applications are rejected, over and over.

As someone who faced these rejections time and time again, I can tell you that it does get easier, and that it is possible to stay positive in the face of the storm. Here’s how –

1. Be Grateful

I know, I know. Easier said than done, but this is the most important of all. We have a tendency to blame ourselves for things outside our control, and nowhere is it truer than in the case of sudden job loss.

“It’s all my fault” or “I deserved it” are negative thoughts that can make your day spiral downwards instantly. Don’t indulge in them! Keep a check on negative self-talk – know that you deserve that dream job you’ve always desired. This is only a temporary setback on your way to the career you’ve always sought.

Gratitude can help direct the negative attitude into a more positive direction.

One of the methods I used was to list two positive things for every negative thought that came to me. This tactic halted the black moods immediately, and showed me that in spite of everything, I still had things to be grateful for.

Another habit to encourage grateful thinking is to list down five things you’re thankful for, that day. I did it just before bed, but this can be done at any time during the day.

2. Have a Purpose

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” – Viktor Frankl’s famous book ‘Man’s Search for meaning’ makes a valid point. During unemployment, it can feel like there’s no point of getting out of bed, or of sending out resumes for the umpteenth time.

In truth, this approach will depress you – as it did me.

Keeping to a schedule – one that allows for fulfilling, purposeful activities is the best way to get through this time.

Is there a hobby you’ve been meaning to try your hand at?

Or an event you’ve wanted to go to? Now is the time to give it a go!

During my sabbatical, I got back to my true passion – writing. I wrote every day, without fail. I wrote articles, blog posts, short stories, poetry – anything that brought me comfort. Not only did it get me back in touch with my passion, it made me better at it to some extent – and the joy it brought into my day was unparalleled, as I continue to be expectant for a better job.

3. Get Outside!

Staying at home, day after day, is depressing. One of the things that worked for me was making myself go outside. I would head out for a walk, listen to some music in the park or simply grab a cup of coffee at the nearby cafe.

This helped me see there was a world beyond the confines of my home – which eased the sense of isolation and loneliness I often felt.

One other thing that worked wonders for me? Catching up with friends. Work can make us so busy, we often get out of touch with old pals, and this can be the best time to reconnect.

I agree that it can be tough. Listening to friends talk about their work – that really exciting deal they just cracked, or the project that they are currently working on, can be hard. In fact, it can feel like they are being deliberately cruel.

They’re not. Friends and Family are crucial at a time like this – when we are most vulnerable, and it feels like the dark times will never end. Give your friends a chance to rally around you, to support you in this difficult time. If discussions about work bother you, explain your point of view – more often than not, good friends will tone them down, or avoid speaking of it altogether.

However, if it is really difficult to be around old friends – make new ones! This can be as easy as volunteering for a cause you care about or joining a hobby class – there are new and interesting people to meet all around us!

Final Thoughts

In my first days of this break, I was overwhelmed. I was frantic in my job search and networking, but I was holed up at home, and the depression came at me in waves.

No one told me that health needs to be a priority at this time – physical AND mental.

It is really important to rediscover yourself in this time. You are not your job, or the organization that you work for. You are so much more than that!

So while I did take on my job search daily – it did not take up my entire day.

These tips helped me make myself productive and happy. Try them out, they might just help you too.

I was truly inspired by Shuyaasha Misra in posting this true experience of my life early 2016.

Don’t Be A Pretzel

This is originally posted on the daily positive.

You are not a pretzel. Don’t twist yourself to fit into who you think people want you to be – just to make them happy – which then makes your soul feel all twisty-like. Be who you are. Accept and love all your quirky aspects. Make your soul happy. Don’t be a pretzel. Be your whole enchilada.” – Karen Salmansohn

What do you do to make yourself more likable or acceptable to others?

I’ve heard the following types of things, and I’ve experienced my own versions of these in the past…

I don’t want to be seen without make up on.

I prefer to wear a hat to cover my receding hairline.

I can’t wear sleeveless tops because I don’t like my arms.

I try not to say too much, in case I say the wrong thing.

Just in the last few weeks I’ve seen many examples of people CHANGING THEMSELVES in some way that puts them out (alters their natural preferred state) in order to be more acceptable to others.

3 REALIZATIONS

Here are a few useful realizations that I hope this will either support you, or you could pass onto someone who might benefit…

People are far too busy caring about themselves to be concerned about what you do, what you look like, what you wear, what you own, what you say.

If someone did care, and they judged you in any way for being you, it truly isn’t anything to do with you, and it’s a reflection of where they’re at in their own consciousness.

The kicker – most of the time we’re actually not changing ourselves to be more acceptable to others. The truth is… we often don’t feel acceptable to OURSELVES! 😲 If you don’t accept yourself, it’s a natural subconscious thread to believe others won’t accept you either.

2 QUICK TESTS

Here’s a little QA test to see if you’re wasting your energy on self-adjustment to be more “acceptable” (when you’re already acceptable just as you are!!!)

ASK YOURSELF:

“If there was NO ONE ELSE around, and it was just me on this planet, what would I do, what would I wear, what I would say?”

“If I 100% accepted myself, what would I do, what would I wear, how would I behave, what would I say?”

You might be surprised by what these questions bring up – exposing the ways you adjust yourself AWAY FROM your natural, divinely created and glorious self.

As the above quote says, no more twisting yourself like a pretzel, it’s time to be your whole enchilada!

When God’s Timing Is Taking Too Long

We all want good things to happen in our lives, but too often we want it now…not later. When it doesn’t happen that way, we are tempted to ask, “When, God, when?” Most of us need to grow in the area of trusting God instead of focusing on the “when” question. If you’re missing joy and peace, you’re not trusting God. If your mind feels worn out all the time, you’re not trusting God.

The tendency to want to know about everything that’s going on can be detrimental to your Christian walk. Sometimes knowing everything can be uncomfortable and can even hurt you. I sometimes in my life tend to being impatient, frustrated and disappointed because there were things I didn’t know. God had to teach me to leave things alone and quit feeling that I needed to know everything. I finally learned to trust the One who knows all things and accept that some questions may never be answered. We prove that we trust God when we refuse to worry.

God wants us to live by discernment—revelation knowledge, not head knowledge. It’s difficult to exercise discernment if you’re always trying to figure everything out. But when you’re willing to say, “God, I can’t figure this out, so I’m going to trust You to give me revelation that will set me free,” then you can be comfortable in spite of not knowing. Trusting God often requires not knowing how God is going to accomplish what needs to be done and not knowing when He will do it. We often say God is never late, but generally He isn’t early either. Why? Because He uses times of waiting to stretch our faith in Him and to bring about change and growth in our lives.

What You Are Looking For And Longing For

Whatever you are looking for and longing for, you are here to BE IT.

You are ready right now.

“If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstasy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.” ― Victoria Erickson

Today, notice what do you long for? Then ask yourself…

“How might I embody this today? How might I bring it to life myself?”

Pleading The Blood Of Jesus In Prayers

The name that is above every other names. Jesus my King!!!

Pleading the blood of Jesus is one of the most effective ways to pray that I have ever learned. When I present the blood of Jesus to Father God in prayer, it’s like I can sense a transaction taking place in Heaven. I can feel that I am praying God’s will for my life, and that I’m giving Him permission to do all the radical things His Word says He wants to do.

By pleading the blood of Jesus in prayer, I have seen relationships healed, physical needs provided, my finances protected, and many other things. God always answers the blood of Jesus!

Look at what the Bible says in Hebrews 10:19-23:

“Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful”

We always hear that Jesus’ blood bought us forgiveness of sins, healing, and eternal life; and of course those things are true. However, healing, forgiveness, etc are like raindrops falling from a big cloud in the spiritual sky. And unfortunately, we tend to look only at the raindrops, without ever noticing the glorious, over-arching cloud overhead!

So what is that cloud? What is the link that ties everything together? The glorious “cloud” that Jesus purchased for us with His blood is the wonder of complete and total access to God, to intimate relationship with Him, and to everything He wants for us.

Jesus’ blood purchased complete and total one-ness with God for us, His adopted children. That blood made a way for us to know God, to dwell with Him, to abide in Christ Jesus, and to receive everything our Father has so that His will can be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Isn’t that amazing?

So how do we plead the blood of Jesus in prayer? We simply:

Remind God of what His will is (as revealed in Scripture);

Remind God that Jesus poured out His blood on the cross so that Father’s will could be carried out; and

Insist that Father carry out His perfect will based on the blood of Jesus, which is the legal currency with which He purchased our victory.

Here are six things from the Bible that help us to see why the blood of Jesus holds such a special place in the hearts of believers:

1. We gain bold access to God in worship and prayer

The Bible is clear that every person is alienated and separated from God because of our sin (Colossians 1:21). That means even the best of us are actually unable to approach God to offer worship or prayer. Because of our sins, we remain at a distance from Him.

But the Bible tells Christians to come boldly into God’s presence, “We have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus” (Hebrews 10:19). If you are a Christian today, you can have boldness and confidence as you approach God with your prayers and your worship, because you are no longer far away from God, “Now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been made near by the blood of Christ” (Ephesians 2:13).

It is because of the blood of Jesus Christ that we have the great privilege of pouring our hearts out to God (Psalm 62:8) casting our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7) and praying any time and any place in the power of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:18). Does your prayer life reflect the kind of relationship you have with God through the blood of His Son?

2. Forgiveness of sin

In addition to being able to enter into God’s presence through the blood of Christ, we are also forgiven of our sins. Ephesians 1:7 says that, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” Because of Christ’s shed blood, God is able to forgive us for our sins and give the punishment that we deserved to Christ.

Christ had a special way of explaining this to his disciples during the Last Supper, which also was the Passover meal celebration.

He said, “For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins”(Matthew 26:28). He was telling His disciples that just as the blood of the lamb delivered the Hebrews from the night of terrors in Egypt, so Christ’s own blood would deliver the people who were covered by it from the judgment of God on the last day.

3. Consciences cleansed

Through the blood of Christ, Christians receive the cleansing of their consciences. Hebrews 9:14 says, “…how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God.”

This is an amazing promise! Christ cleansing our consciences from acts that lead to death! How does He do it? By the blood of Christ, because on the cross He offered Himself unblemished to God! He offered Himself—His unblemished, perfect life—as a sacrifice to God for us on account of our sins. Therefore, He alone is able to cleanse our consciences through His blood.

Even though all of our minds have been corrupted by sin and seared as with a hot iron (1 Timothy 4:2), Christ can cleanse our consciences. We are able to live right lives and think right thoughts once again in Christ. This is great news for those who are burdened by a sinful past and corrupted consciences.

4. We are progressively cleansed from more and more sin

Not only are we forgiven from sin, but we are also sanctified through the blood of Christ. Hebrews 13:12 tells us that “Jesus also suffered…in order to sanctify the people through his own blood” (Hebrews 13:12). God is calling his people be holy as He is, which is one of the reasons Jesus suffered. Without holiness, no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).

After we are forgiven of our sins and able to enter into a new relationship with God, it makes sense that God wants us to be in a new relationship with the sin that previously condemned us as well. That is why he gives us the power, through the blood of His Son, to be cleansed from our sinful behaviors.

5. We are able to conquer the accuser of the brethren

Because of Christ’s sacrifice and the pouring out of His blood on our behalf, we can trust in the righteousness of Christ and not our own righteousness when we are accused by our enemy. Revelation 12:11 says, “And they have conquered him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” As believers, we know that we cannot stand on our own merit or because of our own deeds. We know that our good deeds are as filthy rags before God (Isaiah 64:6) and that the Christ’s righteousness attributed to us is how we are able to stand up against accusations.

6. Rescued out of a sinful way of life

…you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. (1 Peter 1:18-19)

Being ransomed from futile ways is another benefit Christians have through the blood of Jesus. We are rescued from a life lived devoid of meaning and are brought into a relationship with God and the ability to live in his will and with purpose.

Compared to the precious blood of Jesus Christ, the most valuable things of this earth (like silver and gold) are reduced to meaningless, perishable things. That is because the blood of Jesus gives Christians salvation of their souls, forgiveness from sins, access to God, victory over the enemy, and the power to live with a clear conscience, something that the gold and silver items in the Old Testament temple could never do.

Which Would You Choose?

You can be right or you can be peaceful, but you can’t be both.

Which would you choose?

The ego wants to be right.

In a situation where someone else seems to have it wrong, and you feel (or know!) that you’re right, it’s oh so very tempting to point out their wrongness.

The ego loves that.

However, have you ever noticed that trying to show others you’re right, often comes at a cost?

By it’s very nature the act of PROVING SOMEONE WRONG or PROVING SELF RIGHT doesn’t involve much peace. It involves an energy, even if very subtle, of separation and judgment.

Now – that said, it’s quite valid to be right! There will be plenty of times in life when you are right, and someone else is technically “wrong”, but the questions to ask ourselves in those times are…

Does it really matter who is right or wrong?

Does it really make any difference if I point out how right I am?

Would I rather have peace as quickly as possible?

So in those moments when you want to stand up for yourself, or have the last word, or feel the need to counter someone else’s viewpoint (and there are plenty of opportunities for that in a world of contrasting beliefs and opinions), ask instead…

Would I rather be right or would I rather be peaceful?

Personally, most often these days I choose peace. There are very few times where it adds value to my life, to others or to this world if I were to battle to be right. So I don’t. Not because I can’t, not because the topic isn’t important. Simply because… I VALUE PEACE MORE.

What do you value?

What will you choose?

Staying Strong During Life Challenges: A Reminder

If life challenges are knocking on your door, or they’ve already moved on in and seem to be making themselves at home, these are 6 empowering reminders I researched for you.

Tune in, because it’s time for you to rise up strong…

#1

You have A 100% track record for getting through everything in your life.

You’re doing pretty awesome!

You’re still breathing, heart beating, and you have what it takes to walk ahead powerfully.

Remind yourself every day – “I will be okay. Everything will be okay. I always get through somehow. I trust this.”

#2

This too shall pass.

Challenges are like storms that arrive in your life, like a weather pattern. Storms have a life span. And your life span is longer than its!

The storm will come and it will go, and you will outlive it.

Remember, this is a season. Like everything in life, it will eventually pass. Thoughts pass. Feelings pass. Challenges pass.

Be patient and trust.

#3

Diamonds are made under pressure, and so are you. Your challenges will be the making of you.

Life challenges pressuring you are softening your rough edges, calling you to evolve, buffering you to expose the power and beauty you have.

On the other side of this challenge, you will shine again, brighter than before.

#4

All challenges morph into wisdom.

This is the gift that challenges bring. They come to offer you something.

Whatever you get out of a challenge in the form of greater understanding, skills and life wisdom, you will not only use in future (as a handy side benefit) but you will NEED in future.

There is Divine Order in your life. Maybe you don’t know yet what this life challenge is gifting you, or maybe you do. Maybe you don’t know yet what this wisdom is for, but you will find out soon enough!

Perhaps the wisdom is to support something you will DO in the future. Perhaps it is to help you SHARE that wisdom with someone else in your life, to uplift them on their journey. You needn’t be concerned about why you’re being given this wisdom, only that it is has purpose.

The Universe/Divinity (whatever word you use to describe a higher power at play in your life)… it moves us across each others life paths, in right time and right order. We end up learning through challenges and then being called forth into work, career, vocations, relationships, situations and places in order that we can contribute through the wisdom we have gained.

There is purpose to what you are going through. Trust this.

#5

Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together

That’s actually a Marilyn Monroe quote!

Remember that when it feels like life is falling apart, sometimes it’s actually life’s way of spring cleaning you (and your circumstances) to prepare you for the coming summer season of your life.

So even though it’s tempting to think that life is beating down on you, pause to consider if maybe the slate is being wiped clean in order that something better can form.

#6

What we resist persists. So, it’s vital TO let go and flow.

Use this mantra on a daily basis… “This is happening, and I choose peace.”

Your attitude is EVERYTHING when it comes to staying strong. You will either become a victim to what is happening or you will rise up and be a victor.

The choice is yours, and it all starts in your mindset.

I hope these reminders are helpful for whatever life challenges you might be going through now, or that you may face on your forward journey.

Source: The Daily Positive

Video: 13 Steps To Rebuild Unpleasant Reactions into Peaceful Responses

Life is full of people, situations and things that will trigger you.

No one else is like you. You have your unique perspective and your unique expression.

Life is not designed for us all to be the same, with the same values, views, opinions, thoughts, feelings and actions.

It is natural to anticipate that there will be PLENTY of external experiences that will trigger you as they push hard up against what you believe to be “right” and “good”.

In these situations, there is nothing at all wrong with the experience, there is also nothing wrong with the trigger that has pushed your buttons, and furthermore there is nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do.

Having said that, you are FULLY responsible for how you react to life whenever you are triggered by something that doesn’t align to what you believe to be “right” and “good”.

Most people live in a constant cycle of painful reactions to such experiences. Someone says something you don’t like, and BOOM… you painfully react like a volcano erupting. Someone does something you don’t like, and you allow your ego to judge them, and to make yourself righteous, and to look upon the situation and person with distaste. You may not even say anything, but the look on your face could be enough to express your pain and displeasure.

So, you have a choice. Your life is one long timeline of choices. Your choices define the quality of your life experience, and flow into your outcomes for your health, emotional wellbeing, psychological wellbeing, and overall energy vibration (which has a massive impact on your life results professionally, interpersonally, financially, and so on).

Here are 13 simple steps to practise for instantly transforming your pattern of painful reactions to people, situations and things that trigger you, into peaceful responses that serve you and move you forward powerfully.

Credit: Bernadette Logue

Life Coach

The Skill Of Not Reacting to Negative People – in 3 Simple Steps

Every day we wake up ready to go into the world, looking to experience our optimal type of day.

We want peace and happiness. We want productivity and success. We want rewards and fulfillment.

And we plan as best we can to create that type of day we want.

We can create the right mindset and energy before stepping into the world.

We can take focused action toward the results we want.

We can choose where to go, who to be with and what to do.

These are all things we can control.

But, there’s something we can’t control, and it can have a major impact on ALL the things we want to achieve and experience.

That something is OTHER PEOPLE!

Dealing with the Negativity of Others

We quickly learn in life that no matter how zen we choose to be, other people might cross our path and bring their negative energy into our zone.

We also very quickly learn that if we get upset about their negativity, if we buy into it, if we judge them, if we resist and say it “shouldn’t be this way” … then we end up suffering and in negativity with them!

So one of the best things we can learn on our personal growth journey is the ART OF NOT REACTING TO NEGATIVITY.

It’s an art form because it takes practice, and grace.

Our human nature tends to be that we drop down into negativity unless we consciously choose to keep ourselves up above it.

When someone brings their negative energy your way, here are the 2 important things to remember:

  1. It’s like fishing. They throw out the fishing line with negativity bait on a hook. Will you be the fish who isn’t aware and bites, taking the bait and ending up in a tug of war? Or will you be the wise fish who sees the bait and keeps on swimming past it?
  2. If you give your energy to negativity and negative people, you’re flushing it down the toilet. Your energy is so precious, and each day you only have a certain amount of that energy to give to the world. So you have to be super smart about what and who you give your precious energy to. If you give it to negativity, you can’t give it to your goals and dreams!

So, in order for us to experience the type of peaceful, happy, productive and successful day we want, we have to learn the art of not reacting to negativity if it crosses our path.

We get prepared in advanced, so we can masterfully deflect it.

The Art of Not Reacting to Negative People – 3 Simple Steps

Here’s a 3 step process to help you practice non-reaction…

1. See it Coming

You know what negativity looks and sounds like. So be present and aware for when it crosses your path. If you see it coming (like a baited hook dangling in the water!), you have a chance to stand back and breathe before biting! You can instead make a conscious choice not to engage with that negativity.

2. It’s Not About You

Always remind yourself that other people’s negativity is not about you. It’s a reflection of something that is going on inside their mind and emotional system, and it’s being projected around you or toward you.

Too often we get tangled up in other people’s negativity because our egos take it personally and react to their behavior or words. Rather – keep accurate perspective that someone who is being negative is just a fellow human being going through pain. It’s not about you.

3. Wish them Peace & Happiness

The quickest way to non-reaction and inner peace when you’re witnessing someone being negative around you or toward you, is to wish them peace and happiness.

This doesn’t mean saying out loud to their face, “I wish you peace and happiness”.

It’s a mantra you say inside yourself.

This is a practice of conscious and spirited living to say within your own mind and heart, “I wish them peace and happiness. I wish them peace and happiness. I wish them peace and happiness…”

I know you don’t want anyone on this planet to suffer, not you or any other person who crosses your path. And using this mantra helps you to sit in the energy of forgiveness, compassion and detachment.

Inspired by: Bernadette Logue

Life Coach

Dead Fish Or Smart Fish

This post was originally posted on The Daily Positive.

When you genuinely don’t know what to do or where to go, you are in a blessed position. It’s time to stop “trying hard” to figure it out, and instead start tuning into life around you. You are being guided. If your mind is still, your heart is open, and you are patient… the way will become clear.

There’s an old saying, “Only dead fish go with the flow”.

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The meaning of this saying is pretty clear…

Fish swim with the current or against it, but they are always intentional and active, going somewhere.

If not, and they were simply going with the flow, they would be dead. I’m not sure if that is true, but we get the point.

Applying that to life as a human being, you might accidentally think that “going with the flow” means you are inactive, unintentional, directionless and not fully living.

Today let’s reflect on an alternative viewpoint to this – because mindfulness, conscious living, faith and spirituality all teaches us differently about the VALUE and PLACE of going with the flow at certain times of our life.

Let’s say there are 3 ways you could be living right now:

🐟 You’re a fish on a mission achieving your goals – you know what you want, you’re working on it, your life has a clear vision and you’re feeling good about that.

🐟 You’re a fish without clarity on what you want or where you’re going – as a result it’s a little challenging! But, you’re a smart fish, so you’ve decided to go with the flow of life as best you can, and you’re paying attention to your inner voice, to the energy of life around you, to opportunities and synchronicities – ready for guidance and direction to become clear in divine and order timing. You trust.

🐟 You’re a fish who has given up and you’ve stopped participating in life completely. You don’t know what you want or where to go, and you’ve closed your mind and heart. There is no interest in or presence to the incredible force of life and divinity all around you… so you’re highly unlikely to see any guidance when it comes knocking on your door.

Should you ever face a point in your life where your direction is unclear, this does not mean you have no direction.

It means you are in a blessed position for an exciting, new, divinely ordered unfolding to take place for you and through you.

It only requires that you be open and patient, and that you are ready to say YES to whatever intuitive nudges or signs might show up to guide you.

Success Depends Upon Maturity!

Hey guys, thanks for stopping by…

Maturity is many things. It is the ability to base a judgment on the big picture, the long haul.

It means being able to resist the urge for immediate gratification and opt for the course of action that will pay off later.

One of the characteristics of the young is “I want it now.”

Grown-up people can wait.

Maturity is perseverance–the ability to sweat out a project or a situation, in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks, and stick with it until it is finished.

The adult who is constantly changing friends and changing mates is immature. He/she cannot stick it out because he/she has not grown up.

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction. The mature person can face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without collapsing or complaining. He/she knows he cannot have everything his/her own way every time. He/she is able to defer to circumstances, to other people-and to time. He/she knows when to compromise and is not too proud to do so.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, “I was wrong.” And, when he/she is right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.”

Maturity is the ability to live up to your responsibilities, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word. Dependability is the hallmark of integrity. Do you mean what you say-and do you say what you mean? Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who cannot be counted on. When you need them most, they are among the missing. They never seem to come through in the clutches. They break promises and substitute alibis for performance. They show up late or not at all. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a chaotic maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize. They are always a day late and a dollar short.

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. Immature people spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then doing nothing. Action requires courage. Without courage, little is accomplished.

Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and do more than is expected. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. He/she would rather aim high and miss the mark than low-and make it.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which cannot be changed, the courage to change that which should be changed, no matter what it takes, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You Have Nothing To Prove

Everyone struggles with the need to impress people at some level. And much of the pressure, fear and stress we experience in our lives is caused by our need to impress others.

Can you imagine how free we would be if we just lived for God and didn’t worry about what others think about us? How wonderful would it be to know that you don’t have anything to prove and you’re satisfied being who God created you to be!

We need to know who we are in Christ, what we can do and what we can’t. We need to be humble about what we can do, and we need to accept and have peace about the things we can’t do. Too many people are proud of what they can do and bothered by what they can’t do.

I’ve discovered that there’s real freedom in being able to say, “I can’t do that. It’s not my gift or calling from God. I don’t believe God is leading me to do that.”

When we have this attitude, we’re not comparing ourselves or competing with others. And we’re not worried about living by the world’s standard, like having to wear what the fashion magazines say is “in” or having the “right” job or level of income to make us “important.”

Jesus knew who He was, where He came from and where He was going. Because He did, He could take off His garment, put on a servant’s towel, and wash the disciples’ feet. (See John 13:4-5.)

Living For God Means Freedom For Me

I want to glorify God whether I’m running errands, staying at home by myself or writing. I want my life to be all about God and focused on Him. When it is, I know what I can do and what I can’t, and I don’t have to be able to do it all. I’m secure in who I am in Christ and not threatened by others who can do things I can’t do. And I don’t have to know everything and have all the answers to be okay.

I’m also free to have limits and say no when I need to say no because it’s not about pleasing people but being obedient to God. And serving God makes me a better servant of others. I can really love people when I’m not thinking about myself or wondering about what they’re thinking about me.

You don’t have to be like everybody else or do things like everybody else. God created you to be a unique individual and He wants you to be free to be who He made you to be. Keep your heart and mind on Him, and whatever you do, do it for Him.

A life of freedom is a life that’s all about Him!