1. Believe that your calling is closer than you think. We spend so much time thinking about what our calling is and how we will fulfill it instead of trying to follow our curiosity or the excitement we feel towards something over the other.
2. Our calling may not be life-changing, but it guides our steps in the right direction. A lot of people think their calling has to be something extraordinary or magical, but sometimes our calling may be very real and ordinary but it has the potential to make our lives extraordinary.
3. Stop thinking that your life should be dramatic. We are all waiting for that big shot, that big moment where we turn our lives around, be filthy rich, and travel the world. This false belief is what leads us to be disappointed with our lives, thus we force ourselves to consider making big changes that doesn’t make sense to us thinking that this is the true definition of happiness.
4. The best way to figure out what we want to do with our lives is to keep making tiny strides toward a better life, making small changes one step at a time.
5. Once we find our calling, we shouldn’t let failure stop us. We have to keep trying over and over again. There is no such thing as beginner’s luck when it comes to our life’s purpose. The more we try, the wiser and smarter we will be and we will finally get it right one day.
6. Don’t romanticize the future or blame the past. When we feel lost, we have a tendency to blame our past for getting us to where we are now, so we romanticize a better future without really changing ourselves which only adds to our discomfort.
7. Although it is easier to play the blame game when we are not happy and we don’t want to hold ourselves accountable for our fate, but we have to remember romanticizing the future without actively finding ways to make it better will not change our lives.
8. The best thing we can do when we feel this way is to get real with ourselves about what went wrong in the past and how we can fix it so we can avoid falling for the same trap in the future.
9. It’s also good to remember that life is a bundle of contradictions and it will not always be the one we pictured or go exactly the way we wanted.
10. Read enriching books and turn off the TV. Reading invites us to a new world of lessons and guidance, the quiet moments we spend with our books can have a better effect than any show we watch on TV. Books cultivate & feed our minds and offer valuable lessons we wouldn’t learn anywhere else.
11. Success is subjective and doesn’t have a universal definition. There is no one right way to live or one definition to success. It is easy to get influenced by the fantasies, stories and movies around us but at the end of the day everyone will end up paving their own way to success.
12. Taking the time to discover our strengths will help us learn how to hone them in our current life roles, and give us more confidence in moving forward with our lives.
13. The first ingredient to deal with the uncertainty of life is learning how to be patient with yourself and everything around you, and the patience to wait for the life you truly desire.
14. The second ingredient is to practice letting go of all the unrealistic expectations we had, the old patterns that keep holding us back, and the resentment that consumes our heart and blurs our clarity.
15. Friends and family are here to support us; we should go to them when we feel lost, they can provide us with their help and wisdom and give us the pep talk we need to get back on our feet again.
16. Change is the only constant in life so we should do our best to embrace the changes that come our way and the changes within ourselves.
17. There is no deadline to our lives. Sometimes, we think we want to do something and then once we try it, we realize it might not be what we want after all. It’s not the end of the world – it’s how we know what doesn’t work so we can figure out what will work no matter how old we are.
18. Learning to be grateful for the small things will make a huge difference in our day to day. Adopting this outlook may help prevent us from over-emphasizing the importance of the bad things in our lives and give us a healthier attitude to deal with the discomfort of our current situation.
19. Even if we get what we want, we will be faced with new challenges and responsibilities tomaintain it.
20. “Good things take time” and “no one has it all figured out” are two powerful reminders we should repeat to ourselves whenever we feel like we don’t know what to do with our lives.
1. That humans are a self-healing species.
2. The infinitude of people wiser and more talented than I, because of whom I will always be able to learn more, see differently, understand better, and generally be entertained.
3. That anytime something hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to initially, something better did. Always. Without fail.
4. My wife is with me when I was researching this. Been thankful for everything God has done for us.
5. The abundance of foods and cultures and restaurants and diners that exist in my little corner of the world, and that I get to taste a little bit of everything as often as I like.
6. I have never once in my life worried about being too cold in the winter because I couldn’t afford a sweater or jacket.
7. Friends who have loved me more than I loved myself, and who taught me how to love myself.
9. Cooking, and sharing it with others. It’s been something I have really grown a love for this past year.
10. That nothing lasts forever, which is, essentially, just a call to be present.
11. That I live in a hemisphere that experiences all four seasons.
12. Second chances. Third chances. Forgiveness. The ability to say: thank you for that experience, and mean it.
13. Nature. And trees. The after-rain smell, the springtime smell. Mountains and trails and and the fact that I have feet and legs to walk them.
14. The funny fact that the nature of realizing a problem is also you recognizing that there is a solution.
15. My job. The fact that I get to write every day. The other amazing writers and producers I get to read and work with and publish.
16. Coffee, and coffee shops at night.
17. A long meal in a dimly lit restaurant with a bottle of wine and someone you love.
18. The excitement of knowing you have reservations for a long meal in a dimly lit restaurant with a bottle of wine and someone you love.
19. That I have rent to pay, dishes to do, laundry to fold, and dinner to cook; because it means I have my own home, have eaten, am clothed, and have more food available to me.
20. How much joy the little things bring (knowing that that joy is always accessible.)
21. Finding a song you love so much you listen to it 20 times in a row and it just gets better and better with every word and riff and beat you start to memorize.
22. Handwriting anything.
23. Farmers markets.
24. The smell of someone you’re falling in love with, right when you’re falling in love with them.
25. The fact that there is no limit to the number of people we can fall in love with – and that it is possible to do so, each time, as wholly as we did before.
26. Confident people who live their lives and speak their truths and redefine beauty and greatness and wonder and what it means to LIVE just by the nature of their living. (People don’t become inspiring by trying to help others, just by being themselves.)
27. Kids. I envy teachers (though I acknowledge how much work they do and how crappy I’d be as one). Regardless, my real joy in life is playing games in my comfort zone and eating biscuit with a cup of fresh juice, watching my favourite season movies.
28. Warm, comfy beds.
29. The simple, perfect knowledge that my only real purpose is to be. Right here, just like this. My name will fade with successions of generations, and eventually, one day, nobody will know I existed. But for now, just for today, I am awake and alive to see and feel and breathe and live in a foreign, temporary body. If there is something more beautiful than that, show it to me, I’ll be surprised.
30. Everything I have healed, everything I have learned, and how being happy, being present, creating more, and being abundant in every way, always begins with thankfulness.
Make it an every-day lullaby and refuse to blame anyone for anything – past, present or future. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. “
From this point forward, refuse to make excuses or to justify your behaviours. If you make a mistake, say, “I’m sorry, ” and get busy rectifying the situation. Everytime you blame someone else or make excuses, you give your power away. You feel weakened and diminished. You feel negative and angry inside. Refuse to do it.
Take charge of your life!!!
Around the world.
“Why do young adults leave the Church?” This question has been the subject of countless sermons, books, and (ahem) online articles. The concern of Churches and Christian parents is certainly justified. Life can be hard on teenagers, but the Church is a place where they can learn about God’s grace and draw strength from Christian fellowship. So why are so many of them choosing to leave?
The second mental obstacle that you need to overcome is the comfort zone. Many people become complacent with their current situations. They become so comfortable in a particular job or salary or any level of responsibility that they become reluctant ro make any changes at all, even for the better.
The comfort zone is a major obstacle to ambition, desire, determination, and accomplishment. People who get stuck in a comfort zone, if it’s combined with learned helplessness, are almost impossible to help in any way. Don’t let this happen to you.
Very short and precised but very important to take note of this trap.
There are many ways to change your life for the better. And one simple, yet seemingly scary choice we can make is to be taking more risks in life.
The problem with this path to positive change is that most of us fear taking risks!
What’s the worst that could happen?
Risks help to build confidence & open up possibilities
By taking risks you get better at knowing what you want
Risk taking builds self-trust
Risks make life exciting and colorful
Life would become monotonous and boring. Nobody wants a boring life, yet it’s such an easy option to resort to, in order to stay safe and in our comfort zones.
Take action starting from today
Because this is where real growth happens. Ultimately, this risk-taking habit alone will transform your life!
God formed the first man
From the dust,
As an earthen vessel of clay,
Then blew in his nostrils
The breath of life,
His image to set on display.
Photo Credit: Pinterest
No matter how many degrees we have or what kind of education we received, there are some thing that only life can teach us-lessons that we only learn in the school of life.
1. The meaning of purpose.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”~Friedrich Nietzsche.
We may graduate with honors and pick a great career, but it can still make us feel unfulfilled, this is when we learn the importance of finding meaning and purpose in our lives that goes beyond the realm of a secure job and a good education.
2. How to be independent.
“To find yourself, think for yourself.”~Socrates
We learn that we have to stand on our own and take care of ourselves. Our parents and teachers won’t guide us anymore, so it’s just us against the world and we have to be prepared for it, because no one is better equipped to answer our own questions but ourselves.
3. We can’t control time.
“You can have it all. Just not all at once.”~Oprah Winfrey
Life teaches us that we won’t always get what we want right away, it teaches us that we still don’t have control over time no matter how good our time management skills are and no matter how good we are at predicting our future. If it’s not our time yet, we can do nothing about it.
4. How to move on from failure.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”~ Winston S. Churchill
In school when we failed a class, it was easy to make up for it or study harder for the next one, but in life, failure can scar us or even change our whole perspective on the meaning of life. Life teaches us that failure is a part of it, and that success can only come after so many failures. We learn how to move on from failure and accept it as part of our journey.
5. How to be patient.
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”~Aristotle
If we can’t control time, then we must be patient enough to wait for what we want. Life doesn’t have a specific timeline set for us by our teachers, we now have to be patient and have faith that the things we want will come when we are ready for it rather than when we want it.
6. We all need love.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”~Lao Tzu
Not the puppy love or the high school love; we need the real kind of love, the love that is reflected in the support of others, the kindness of others and the love that elevates our lives. We never studied how to find love or how to be loved, so we keep learning as we go, even if it means that we won’t find it right away.
7. Life is difficult.
“Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”~M. Scott Peck
As we grow up, we learn that life is not going to be easy, it is not like a hard semester that will pass and we will never have to worry about it again. We learn that it can actually get harder as your responsibilities grow. Life teaches us how to roll with the punches to survive and that it is not always smooth sailing.
8. We will scatter our hearts in the wrong places.
“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.”~Mark Z. Danielewski
We will pick wrong careers and wrong partners that will not be very kind with our hearts. We may not always understand why we wasted our deepest emotions over something that introduced us to misery but life will let us know the reason eventually-in time-or maybe we will never know.
9. We have a choice.
While many things will be out of our control, we still have a choice. A choice in the way we see things, a choice in the way we react to things, a choice in the way we become more cautious in the future, a choice in the way we let our circumstances define who we are.
10. We all need help.
“God gave us crying so other folks could see when we needed help, and help us.”~Joshilyn Jackson
No matter how independent we are, we will need some sort of help along the way. We are not immune to disappointment and heartbreak and sometimes we just can’t find the strength to pick ourselves up. Life will teach us that we can’t make it alone even if we try.
11. Everything is temporary.
“Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry. It can’t last forever either.”~Unknown
Pain is temporary. Feelings are temporary, even our time on earth is temporary, which is why we have to make the best out of this temporary time and try not to give power to temporary emotions to ruin our lives.
12. Nothing is impossible.
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”~Shel Silverstein
Life is difficult but it’s also fascinating. In the blink of an eye it can present us with a wonderful opportunity that can change our life around. It can bring us closer to our dream job or our dream partner. Life can make our dreams come true.
13. Never get attached to plans.
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”~ Woody Allen
It’s good to have a blueprint of how we want our lives to look like in 5 or 10 years but we must not get too attached to it because we change and our plans surely change too. Life teaches us that we need to have plan b, and c and d.
14. We have to face our fears.
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”~ C. JoyBell C.
Life teaches us that at some point we will be faced with things that absolutely terrify us. Losing someone we loved, losing our job, moving away from home,…etc. We can’t escape fear so we have to learn how to face it and walk with it.
15. We have to love who we are.
“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”~Unknown
If we want to make our lives a bit easier than we have to love ourselves- not in a narcissistic way- but in a compassionate way. We have to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and failures, we have to believe in ourselves even if those around us aren’t believing in us, we have to learn when to walk away from people who are not good for us, and we have to love ourselves even if we are not who we wanted to be or where we wanted to end up.
Both men received the same sentence,
Both would serve the same penalty,
One man would live in paradise,
The other too blinded to see.
When you are absolutely clear about what you want, you can then think about your goals most of the time. And the more you think about them, the faster they will materialize in your life.
The process of asking yourself questions about your goals in each part of your life begins to clarify your thinking and make you a more focused and better defined person. As Zig Ziglar says, “You move from being a wandering generality to becoming a meaningful specific.”
Most of all, you reach the point where you can determine your major definite purpose in life. This is the springboard for great achievement and extraordinary accomplishment.
Your major definite purpose will be the topic of the next chapter, and how to achieve it will be the subject of the chapters to come.
1. Fighting for a career you love. You will never regret fighting for the job you really want or struggling to make it happen. It is a choice that will upgrade the quality of your life and give you a better shot at success.
2. Letting go of unrequited love. Or waiting for someone to make up their mind. You will never regret letting them go because you are paving the way for someone else to come in and you are being honest with yourself about the possibilities of being with someone who is not on the same page.
3. Apologizing to someone. You are a human being who is prone to making mistakes-a lot of them. Saying sorry to someone you care about and appreciate is the only way to redeem yourself and try to save the relationship from falling apart. You will never regret patching things up with the people who deserve it.
4. Learning something new. Whatever that may be; a new language, a new course, a new sport or a new meal, you will never regret investing time in a new skill. Learning drives us to be more productive, attentive and gives us the motivation we need to rejuvenate our lives.
5. Taking a break from social media. Unplugging is therapeutic in this ever-busy and chaotic life. Sometimes it’s really crucial for your sanity to take a break from social media and re-shift your focus and energy onto something better and more meaningful.
6. Exercising. The benefits of exercising are not just physical, they are also mental and spiritual. Taking a run or hiking can really help you feel better about yourself and inspire you to think clearly and make more coherent decisions.
7. Expanding your network. Building more relationships and expanding your social circle and your network will open new doors for you and will add value to your personal and professional life. You never know who you’ll be able to connect with and where that connection will lead.
8. Not taking life too seriously. You will not look back and remember the times you cried and the times you broke down. Don’t let pain or sadness drag on for too long. Try to look at the good in every bad and do your best to get over the disappointments quickly so you can be able to enjoy most of your life.
9. Loving yourself. With your flaws, with your quirks, with your mood swings and your eccentric habits. Be kind to yourself and try to love the different parts of you. You will never regret being your biggest fan because you know you can always count on yourself. Also, when you love yourself, you are more likely to find someone who loves you too.
10. Believing that tomorrow is a better day. You will never regret looking on the bright side, or being hopeful, or starting the day with a smile. You will never regret having a positive mentality and an optimistic outlook on life, you are more likely to achieve a positive life this way.
For at least a decade, Millennials have been stereotyped as lazy, entitled, and stuck on social media. In Nigeria, our President had already tagged us to be lazy youths with no ambition. While that may not be entirely fair, they are notoriously liberal, overwhelmingly supporting left-leaning candidates and favoring policies like nationalized healthcare and same-sex “marriage.”
These young people are products of conflict and recession. They can only remember a news cycle “marred by economic stress, rising student debt… and war overseas.” As a result, they’ve taken on what one team of Goldman-Sachs analysts called a “more pragmatic” and conservative outlook on the world.
Nobody wants to die but want to go to heaven.
Death is inevitable. But death─ sudden or expected─ always brings sorrow and grief to the ones who are left behind. However, life still marches on. It is hard, but we must remember that as humans we have an immense ability to cope with anything that life brings. Although we all have different levels of coping abilities, there are several basic and universal steps to dealing with grief and finding hope again…
Allow The Feelings To Flow: Losing someone you love will conjure all unimaginable emotions within you, sorrow, regret, guilt, pain, grief, heartbreaks, misery, anger, sadness and many more. Feeling these emotions all at once can be extremely difficult. It is quite normal, so let them flow. You do not need to suppress them. Cry all you want. With time and allowing grief to be released, it will become less painful. It is an important process that will help you in dealing with grief and accepting your loss.
Talk About It When You Can: Talking about the death of your loved ones can be a way of remembering them and can help you understand what happened. It will give you the opportunity to start the healing process. Denying the death of a loved one can result in isolation and you pushing away your family and friends.
Find A Support System: Coping with a loved one’s death is never easy; especially if you are dealing with it alone. You need support coming from your family and friends so that you can find comfort and overcome grief faster. Moreover, while your family and friends can be your greatest source of support for overcoming the death of someone, but it is also advisable that you take advice from professional people when you find all the emotions and pain too hard to handle. Psychologists give professional advice and develop strategies according to your needs to get you through the grieving process.
Understand The Grieving Process: Dealing with grief and bereavement is a process. It is quite important to allow yourself to experience every stage of the grieving process for you to completely heal. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief in her book titled “On Death and Dying.” These stages are not necessarily experienced in order and some stages can be revisited. These five stages are:
- Denial: Dealing with death can be overwhelming. It is an incomprehensible experience and you can find it hard to believe that your loved one is gone. You continue to deny that it is not happening and there is no way that your loved one left you.
- Anger: As you realize the reality of your situation you begin to feel angry. Your anger or fury might be directed to your loved one for leaving you, to the doctors for not doing their job and healing your loved one, to God who took your loved one or even to yourself for maybe not being a better person to your loved one. All of this is quite normal and will pass.
- Bargaining: It is quite common for an individual to start bargaining or negotiating with a higher power, like God. Do not be surprised or think that you are crazy when you start making deals with God like: “I will be better, just please give him back to me.”
- Depression: The sorrow and overwhelming sadness you feel after the death of a loved one is normal. It is common to feel that your life will never be the same again. This feeling does not last forever and will pass with time.
- Acceptance: This stage does not necessarily mean that you accept or come to terms that your loved one is already dead. It does not mean that if you are already at this stage, you will not revisit the other stages above. But rather, it means that the pain and grief of losing someone you love will reduce and become more manageable.
Celebrate Life: You need to mourn the death of your loved ones, but there comes a time when you need to turn from the mourning toward a new stage, of celebrating life again. Understanding that death is inevitable and that we will all die someday will give you an opportunity to live your life to the fullest. Remember that your life does not stop when someone you love passes away. Ask yourself this: “Would he or she be happy seeing me like this forever because they passed?” Cry as much as you need to, but know that your family and friends are still there for you, ready to walk forward and to live life fully with you now. Celebrate the fact that you are living.
Preserve Precious Memories: Someone so special to you might be gone but their memories stay. Keep all photographs, things he or she gave you, or create a memorial like planting a tree to remember your loved one. This will help you keep all the memories you shared together and overcome your loss.
Final Thoughts: It always feels so unfair when someone you love passes away, but that does not mean you have to stop living. God created us, human beings, to be strong and to survive anything. So, grieve as much as you need to, and remember you will be able to stand up and smile again. After all, your loved ones may not have stayed with you, but the memories you have with them will forever stay in your heart.
I can testify to each and every point stated here. I don’t know about you but if you have anyone facing the difficulty of not passing through grief and lack hope. Please share this with them.
Have a blessed day!!!
By: Brian Zeng