Admit That You Are Not Perfect

One thing you should know about life is that nobody is perfect. You must learn to say to remain flexible is, “I made a mistake. ” It is amazing how much time, energy, and money is wasted because some people’s egos are so large that they will not admit they have made a mistake, even one that is obvious to everyone around them.

Once you say, “I was wrong” or “I made a mistake, ” the issue is largely over. From then on, everybody can get on with resolving the problem or achieving the goal. But as long as a key person is unwilling to admit that he or she has taken the wrong course, everything comes to a stop.

We have seen this repeatedly in national politics where the failure of a single person to admit a mistake or blunder has led to tremendous waste of time and energy for everyone involved and often for the entire nation.

Photo credit: Pinterest

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Perform At Your Best

The moment that you begin walking, talking, and behaving in ways that are consistent with your highest ideals, your self- image improves, your self- esteem increases, and you feel happier about yourself and your world.

For example, whenever you are coplomented or praised by another person or given a prize or an award for accomplishment, your self- esteem goes up, sometimes dramatically. You feel happy about yourself. You feel that your whole life is in harmony and that you are living congruent with your highest ideals. You feel successful and valuable.

Your aim should be to deliberately and systematically create the circumstances that raise your self- esteem in everthing you do. You should live your life as of you were already the outstanding person you intend to be sometime in the future.

Your Past Is Not Your Future

wake up success GIF by Interstellardesignz

Many people had difficult experiences growing up. They fell on hard times and became associated with the wrong people. I am a perfect example of this, after giving up on writing different exams to enter the university, I was miserable at home. It led me to different bad kinds of stuff like following the wrong set of people, I stole, and was very rude and disrespect my mum.

Anyways let us go on with the main reason for this post.

Some people were convicted for their crimes after behaving in ways that were illegal or socially unacceptable. Thank God I wasn’t…

They thought seriously about the kind of person they wanted to be known as, and thought of, in the future. They decided to change their lives by changing the values that they lived by. By making these decisions and sticking to them, they changed their lives. And what others have done, you can do as well.

Remember: It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from; all that really matters is where you’re going.

If you were an outstanding person in every respect, how would you behave toward others? What sort of impression would you leave on others after you had met them and spoken with them? Imagine you could be a completely excellent person. How would you be different from who you are today?

Please drop your comment and contribution to this post.

Have a blessed day!

Determine Your Heart’s Desire

Beauty happy girl with Valentine gift box.In his book “The Importance of Discovering Your Hearts Desire”, Emmet Fox wrote What is your heart’s desire? What is it that, deep down in your heart, more than anything else, you would like to be, have, or do in life? A s a friend of mine asks, “What do you want to be famous for?”

What words would you like people to use to describe you when you are not there? When you gone, what will you like people to say at your funeral? How would you want your family, friends, and children to remember you? How would you like people to talk to them about you?

What kind of a reputation do you have today? What kind of a reputation would you like to have sometime in the future? What would you have to begin doing today in order to create the kind of reputation that you desire?

Trust Your Intuition

Self-trust is the foundation of greatness. Self-trust comes from listening to your intuition, to your “still, small voice” within. Men and Women begin to become great when they begin to listen to their inner voices and absolutely trust that they are being guided by a God each step of the way.the following GIF by Fox TV

Living in alingment with your true values is the royal road to self-confidence, self-respect, and personal pride. In fact, almost every human problem can be resolved by returning to values. Whenever you experience stress of any kind, look into yourself and ask, “In what way am i compromising my innermost values in this situation?”

To Avoid Embarrassment And Unnecessary Pressure

Hi guys, thanks for stopping by to this straight forward post. It has come to my knowledge people go the extreme to do things above their means.

Here are some solutions to avoid it..

  • Put your kids in schools you can afford because expensive schools doesn’t guarantee good results. Just ensure they attend a good affordable school.
  • Rent apartments you can pay for conveniently. Don’t live in a house you struggle to pay yearly.
  • A man whose wife is pregnant has good 9 months to prepare, so also the pregnant woman in question. They should even plan for the worse and only seek help when they can’t meet up.
  • Some problems in our lives don’t just pop up, 12 months ago, we knew we would pay rents…So its not an emergency.
  • Let’s plan our lives and live within our means. Save more and spend less.
  • Some women buy food for their children every morning before going to school, do you know it’s cheaper to cook at home?
  • Some buy every Asoebi and also buy shoe and bag to match.
  • Some people who don’t earn much, but have DSTV at home, go for GOTV and upgrade when your income upgrades. It’s still the same CNN.
  • Eat healthy meals and protect your family from mosquitoes to avoid going to the hospital always.
  • Take advantage of food and fruits in season, its cheaper and you can be creative to create amazing meals.
  • Don’t copy your neighbor’s style of cooking soup, she earns well and her husband is a ‘big man’
  • Don’t follow trends, wear clean well-ironed clothes and keep your hair neat. You would still look good.
  • Keep your circle small, keep only friends that have senses!
  • Above all things, have the fear of God, have integrity, don’t be lazy and be prayerful.
  • Planning is the key, if you fail to plan, you plan to FAIL
  • God bless us all and provide all our needs.

The Situation Analysis Of Life

After Secondary School..
All your classmates have gone in different directions in the world.

Some have completed universities and are now:
Doctors,
Engineers,
Teachers,
Pilots,
Lawyers,
Administrators, etc.

Some are married,
Some have given birth,
Some are still searching and waiting on the Lord.
Some are dead, don’t forget that too.

And others are on the sick bed,
Some are running their higher degrees: Masters, PHD, etc.

Some haven’t even gained admission into the tertiary institution and may NEVER be able to.

Some own companies,
Some are now Directors and major shareholders in global companies.

But how do you feel
When you meet your classmates, and it seems like he/she has accomplished their dreams and you’re not yet close to yours?
So many thoughts run through your mind, right?
First, you think God has not been fair to you.

How about the ones you meet on the street wearing dirty cloths and still struggling for survival ?
Do you get the same thoughts running through your mind?
I guess, NO.

Don’t forget too that some are already dead.
Somehow it feels natural to have that feeling of jealous for those mates who seem better off, but it is really unnecessary.

There is no room for regrets,
We are all different and our paths to greatness are also not the same in distance.

Some might have arrived earlier before you and some after you, but whatever level you find yourself in life,
Please keep trying to break limitations and move further.

Celebrate the success of others, its an indication that yours too shall surely come.

Your friend buys a car now, be happy with him/ her.
Remember when you’ll buy yours,
theirs might not be the latest again.
There’s no permanent champion, but current champion.

Life is not about competition, do not be in a race with anyone; remember, we may seem to be reading the same book but different chapters at different times.

Don’t let the passion in you kill the desire in you, keep it burning.

What you’re passing through today;
Write it down because one day the world would be ready to read it, they’ll become part of your success story.

There’s no height you cannot attain, believe in yourself, define your goals, recognize distractions and don’t stop striving.

Spend time teaching yourself, because those things that mainly take people to the top are the things they devoted their time to develop.

Don’t be intimidated by your friend’s success, the sky is wide enough for birds to fly without touching one another.

Value every little thing that God brings into your life, love God and obey Him.
For with God, all things are possible.

Now to those who are on top Never forget to give a helping hand to those who are down. Because Life is full of uncertainties; the one you pull up today, may be the one to hold your hands and prevent you from falling tomorrow

A piece of advice there, food for thought

Please share, comment and like this to all your friends and let them realize that God has a purpose in their lives.

God bless you.

How to Motivate Yourself – 5 Steps to Turn Your Power On!

Don’t wear a bullet proof because am about to shoot 5 steps for how to motivate yourself.

1. Your Reality Stocktake

Grab a pen and paper. You’re about to get real with yourself!

Answer these questions:

  • What price are you paying for doing nothing and staying where you are? There are costs involved! The clearer you are on that, the more uncomfortable you will be about it. The more uncomfortable you are, the more motivated you will be to do something to change it!
  • What are you missing out on by not taking action and creating the outcomes you want? There is something great available to you if only you would go for it. The clearer you are about that, the more disappointed you will feel if you don’t get up and get after it. The more disappointed you are, the more motivated you will be to get in action!

The point is this – you want to feel a little pain here.

Pain is motivating.

There is NO VALUE in pretending that there is no price you’re paying and there is nothing you’re missing out on.

Getting real with yourself is a powerful starting point for powering up.

2. Time to Raise Your Standards

If you’re not motivated, chances are you are TOO comfortable where you stand.

If that is true, it means you are too accepting of your current situation and the price you’re paying. And, you’re okay to some extent with missing out on what else is available in your life.

This means your standards are too low. You unconsciously (or consciously!) expect less for yourself than you really deserve.

To have what you want, you need to raise your standards and get emotionally convicted about the fact you DON’T DESERVE to stay stuck and pay these prices. And, that you DO DESERVE better for yourself.

3. Draw a Line in the Sand

Getting motivated and staying motivated requires that you say, “Enough is enough.”

I like to call this – putting a line in the sand.

You draw a line, you step over it, and you say, “I’m never going back.”

One big problem people face with motivation is that it ebbs and flows, and they yo-yo in and out of it. This means you never really get lasting change or the results you want.

To get lasting change means being consistent. Consistently motivated. Consistently clear. Consistently in action.

If you don’t put a line in the sand and step over it permanently, then it means that in your mindset you are allowing yourself permission to yo-yo.

If you start out on a path of action or change with the intention that it’s okay to stop whenever you want, then guess what . . . you will!

Instead, create a mindset that says, “I’m not turning back. I’m motivated and I’m sticking with this. I’m never going back. I don’t deserve back there. I do deserve what’s ahead.”

No one can inject you with the sustainable motivation you need. They can amp you up for a short period of time. But hyped up energy taken from someone else never lasts!

The way to get lasting motivation, and motivation on the things that count, is to create it for yourself through a shift in your mind.

Learn how to use your mind and emotional system to your advantage, and you’ll finally feel like the master of your own destiny.

4. Your Mortality Reminder

You are not going to live forever. Fact.

You’ve used up some of your days already! Fact.

How many do you have left?

We don’t know. No one does.

This hopefully is a motivating factor for you!

When you remember that everyone ends up 6 feet under at some point, and you really dwell on the fact YOU will end up there too, it’s like having the electric shock paddles zapped on your heart. It jolts you to life!

The fact you’re reading this and thinking thoughts, and breathing, and working, and going about your daily life, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ALIVE.

Being truly alive is when you are consciously in control of yourself and owning your life.

5. Set the Structure

Most people struggle with motivation because they don’t have structure in place to help them STAY motivated.

Anyone can hype you up given the right insights and approach.

You can hype yourself up given the right tips and tools.

But hype is NOT genuine motivation.

Hype is what feels great and then fizzles out like a firework on a rainy night.

I want you to have lasting motivation, which means…

You need structure in place to not only lift up your motivation levels but to KEEP THEM UP.

The problem is – life is busy, demanding and noisy. There are always things to distract you. You might forget.

If your mindset isn’t finely tuned already, then you likely have your own inner blocks that will get in the way too (excuses, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and so forth). But try pushing yourself and beating these obstacles and sure you will overcome.

Feeling motivated? I’d love to hear from you so please do head to the comments section below. Let me know what’s happening in your life right now!

Credit to Bernadette Logue

Repost: An Attitude Of Gratitude.

Originally posted on Everyday Answers.

Hi, thanks for stopping by to read my post today. I was surfing the internet and saw this beautiful piece, I couldn’t read it alone but to also share with you guys on my platform.

Most people would agree that we have a lot to be thankful for. After all, many of us live a lifestyle full of conveniences…

  • We live in comfortable homes, wear nice clothes, and have reliable transportation.
  • We have no shortage of clean water or healthy food.
  • We have access to quality healthcare and education, and basically live a good life with a lot of freedom, safety and security.

While it’s easy to take these wonderful blessings for granted—and begin to focus on what we don’t have—millions of people around the world live without the basic necessities of life.

I’ll never forget the time one of our sons went on a weekend outreach with a team of people to help the homeless. It was obvious that the experience touched him deeply. He called me and said:

“If I ever complain again, please knock me down for being so stupid!”

After he saw how some people were living, he was appalled at how he had complained about small things in his own life.

Just think about it…

We can complain about trivial things like cleaning the house. However, those without a place to live would love to have a house to clean.

Or have you ever complained about the regular costs of maintaining your vehicle? I’m sure we’ve all had our day ruined by an unexpected repair. However, a person without transportation dreamsabout having a car to drive.

It is so easy to forget how blessed we are! That’s why maintaining an attitude of gratitude is something we need to do on purpose.

This “little thing” can make a big difference…

I want you to try something. As you go about your day, make a point to be grateful for the things you may otherwise not even notice.

For instance, I really like coffee. Sometimes I take a moment in the morning to thank God for this “little thing” that brings me joy and comfort.

Or how about the blessing of having hot water? It’s something we can easily take for granted, but it makes our lives so much better!

As you begin to thank God for the seemingly small things in your life, it will help you to focus on the positive and everything you do have. As result, you will also be much happier!

Invite God into everything you do…

One of the best things we can do throughout the day is praise God while we work.

No matter what you’re trying to build—your home, your marriage, your business, financial security, or even an exercise plan—you can worship God as you work.

At my conferences, I make sure to be in the service as soon as the praise and worship begins because I love to be in God’s presence. In fact, before I speak to an audience, I make sure I have entered into praise and worship.

I want to fix my thoughts on God, thank Him for what He’s done in my life and for the words He’s giving me to speak, and I want to give Him praise for everything else He’s going to do.

We need to praise God because we love Him. It actually draws us closer to Him, which helps us hear the Word clearly, receive it, and hold on to it through faith.

This will help you to see more clearly…

Giving thanks throughout the day is simply a way to show God how grateful we are for who He is.

Regularly giving thanks to God not only helps us fully realize how He’s working in our lives, it gives us a new perspective—our mind is renewed, our attitude is improved, and we are filled with joy (see Psalm 16:11).

I am truly amazed at how two people can have the exact same circumstances, however one person can be negative, dissatisfied and hopeless while the other is optimistic and full of joy!

Praise makes all of the difference. Living life with a heart of gratitude for who God is and what He has done for us lifts our burdens and causes us to see everything in a different light.

Each moment that we’re given is a precious gift from God. We can choose to have a thankful attitude and live each moment full of joy…simply because God is good.

Please feel free to comment, like, and repost.

Know What You Really Want

Stephen Covey once said, “Be sure that, as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building.” 

Many people work hard to achieve goals that they think they want only to find, at the end of the day, that they get no joy or satisfaction from their accomplishments. They ask, “Is this all there is?” This occurs when the outer accomplishment is not in harmony with your inner values. Don’t let this happen to you.

Socrates said, ” The unexamined life is not worth living.”

This applies to your values as much as to any other area of your life. Values clarification is something you do on a go- forward basis. You continually stop the clock, like a time out in a football game, and ask, “What are my values in this area?”

In Mathew 16:26, the Bible says, “What is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

The happiest people in the world today are those who are living in harmony with their innermost convictions and values. The unhappiest people are those who are attempting to live in-congruent with what they truly value and believe.

Things You Learn When Life Doesn’t Turn Out The Way You Wanted

We often grow up with an idea of what our life will look like when we are at a certain age, more often than not, it is a realistic image, and more often than not, life doesn’t necessarily mirror the image we had for it. At that moment, we can feel inadequate, we can feel like a failure and we can feel that we failed to create the life we want or deserve, but if we take a closer look sometimes the magic is in the journey rather than the destination, it is in the lessons we learn along the way and the changes we have to go through to become the best versions of ourselves.

My life didn’t turn out to be anything like I imagined, in fact the image I had for my life doesn’t even come close to what it is now, and even though I do have my days when I brood about it and wonder where I went wrong, I still smile when I look back at the things I learned when the pieces of the puzzle didn’t fit.

1. You Learn To Steer The Wheel In Another Direction

You know how the saying goes “If you don’t bend you will break” You will find yourself face to face with your fears and your worst nightmares, but you will have to face them, even if you don’t win, even if you fall short, even if you will never be the same person again, you will navigate through them to reach your destination. It is exactly like driving, sometimes you get lost, sometimes you take roads you don’t want to take, sometimes you drive alone at night and it can get scary, sometimes you will have to stop at a red light even though you can’t wait to go home, sometimes you will get into an accident and it may or may not be your fault, but the key will always be to keep driving and steer the wheel in another direction, whatever direction leads you back home.

2. You Will Be Forced To Look Within For Validation

If you are a people person like myself, you get your energy and your validation from those around you, you always wonder do they like me? Did I say the right thing? Are they going to speak well about me? Does my boss think I’m smart enough? Will this man stay or will he get bored and leave? You constantly expend your energy on those around you and that sometimes can be the demise of your own identity and personal growth. This may sound like a cliché but it is true, the best way to use your energy is to consume it on yourself first, and be in touch with who you are regardless of what those around you think of you. You have to embrace your flaws and shortcomings while working on them rather than seek validation from those around you. It helps when someone sees something good in us that we ceased to believe and it helps when someone picks us up when we fall, but at the end of the day, it is temporary relief. If you want long-term relief, you need to seek validation from yourself first and welcome the validation of others second, but you should always come first.

3. You Might Want To Reconnect With God

“When we have nothing left but God, we discover that God is enough.” This is one of my favorite quotes to sum up faith and life too. When things don’t go as planned, and when life gets hard, it is easy to sink in a dark hole and drown in a sea of anger, negativity and despair; also known as rock bottom. The good thing about hitting rock bottom is the fact that it allows you to reach to a higher power, ask for help, pray and seek guidance from the creator. If it takes a toll on your faith, let me assure you that you will not make it out of rock bottom easily, however if you use it as a tool to reconnect with God and strengthen your faith and the belief that God has a better plan for you and that his plans will make you happier than you ever thought you will be, you will be just fine. God sometimes gives us what we need rather than what we want, sometimes it is best not to ask questions and try to go against the ebb and flow of what God brings to our life, sometimes it is better to look up and say I know you got this, let go and keep the faith.

4.You Are Going To Lose Some People

It is a part of life, the more you know who you are and seek validation from within, the more people you are going to lose. Some people will not like it, some people will try to bring you back down, some people will hurt you, some people will walk away, some people will give up on you, and others will stab you right in the face. Only a few good ones will stick around and respect the transition, those people are the ones that are in your life to stay and will help you become your best self. I must say this is the hardest lesson, it doesn’t only require strength and self-control, it requires you to never look back, to close some doors that you so wanted to remain open. The hardest part is not letting them go, the hardest part is letting them go knowing you will not let them back in again, knowing that deep in your heart this person will cause you more damage than good and they have to go. In some cases, losing is winning.

5. It Will Make You A Better Person

Finally, when your life doesn’t turn out the way you wished for, it will humble you. It will make you a kinder person, a more sympathetic person, a wiser person, a stronger person, a less judgmental person, a deeper person, or simply it will make you human. You will learn that you can’t be perfect and you never will be, you will learn that you will fail at things you thought you were good at, you will learn that you can be hard to love sometimes, you will learn that you have bipolar tendencies, you will learn that you cannot control your surroundings and you cannot make someone change or someone love you. You will learn to accept your fate and stop trying to change it. You will learn that life will scar you, and it will hurt you but it will also surprise you-sometimes in a good way, and one day you will look back and be able to connect the dots, one day you will look back and make sense of all the confusion, one day you will surprise yourself when you look at the image you had for your life and realize that it doesn’t resonate with you anymore and it doesn’t matter.

Ways To Make Peace With The Things You Can’t Change

1. You stop assuming what you lose is for the worst. I just realized that I lost my favorite book of all time. I’ve had it for two years. The pages are barely hanging on by threads, and it’s filled with notes and thoughts and underlined sentences and paragraphs. I’m pretty sure I left it in a coffee shop. My friend turned to me today and said: “It’s okay. Somebody who needed it — and your notes — got it. It was time to pass it on, and buy a new one, to highlight the things you didn’t see before.”

2. You stop assuming you know best. Inarguably, I am an idiot when it comes to my own life. I admit to this. I will be the first to laugh and tell you all the ways I’ve screwed up. I have wanted relationships that were objectively terrible for me, questioned the things that were so genuinely best for me it’s perplexing how one could mistake them. I’ve sullied my own happiness with worry, tried to control that which I couldn’t. Of everything, do you know what I’m most grateful for in this world? The fact that it never listened to me and some other force lead me to where I am. I am so grateful I never got what I thought I deserved. It’s the only thing I can bring myself to consider when I similarly believe that I’m wrongfully not getting something I want now.

3. You meditate on impermanence. Maybe not through literal, actual meditation (though that would be great of course) you have to remind yourself that the root of suffering is not just the impermanence of things, but our attachment to the things that are inevitably not going to last. If something isn’t enough for you in the time that you have it — be it a day, a month, a year — it’s never going to be enough. At the end of the day, you can’t keep it forever. You’d be losing it sooner or later. What’s more important is whether or not you appreciated having it in the first place.

4. You consider what you can change externally. Granted, external control is an illusion that will ultimately fail us all; attachment is a river that inevitably runs dry. But sometimes when you’re treading water, you need a little something to hold onto, no matter how temporary it is or mildly delusional you are for it. If there’s something you can externally change about your situation, do so. If there’s something you can say, a line you can draw, an opinion that’s yet to be voiced, go ahead and make sure you’ve exhausted all your options.

5. And then you focus on what you can change internally. I said this once (I don’t remember what article it was in, sorry) and I stand by it: most little things can be solved with a nap, a drink or a long talk with someone who wants to listen, and most big things have to be solved with an inner reconciliation. Allow that of yourself.

6. You face it until it doesn’t hurt anymore. I once heard someone explain our grown up fears as being similar to how we were afraid of the monster in the closet when we were little. All we really have to do is shine a light inside and realize that there’s nothing there. This kind of acknowledgment is different from attaching to it and creating and manifesting it in your life. It is different than holding onto a perception and then making it your reality. This is just acknowledging what is, and saying it out loud again and again and again until it the weight wanes off. Anybody who has done this can tell you how much it eases your heart and chest and soul. Don’t let the nonexistent monsters haunt you because you just don’t want to open the door.

Terrified About The Future? Read This…

Rania has something to contribute to this interesting topic on if you terrified about the future, then you in the right place.

“How do I prepare myself for the worst?” A friend of mine asked me the other day, and I started wondering why do we always assume the worst first? Why are we so scared of the unknown that we think it’s going to attack us and stab us in the back? Why is the future associated with trepidation instead of tranquility?

We are always scared of the unknown considering that we fear the future will mirror our past, because we are born to believe that history repeats itself. But human beings are not history, they reinvent themselves instead of repeating themselves. If you are scared of the future, I ask you to try to see it as a challenge rather than a threat, a pleasant surprise, or a compelling story that is still unfolding. Sometimes knowing the ending ruins the story, and life is all about the story.

If you are scared of tomorrow, think of the things you can control today, the things you have now, think of just today and how you can get through it. Think of how you can make today slightly better, think of how you can make this day a good day in case history repeats itself tomorrow. Think of making today count, maybe that is the only possible way you can prepare for tomorrow.

If you are scared of the worst that can happen, think of all the times in the past you were scared of what may come, and thought of worst case scenarios that never happened.

If you are scared of failure, think of the past regrets you had because you didn’t try, think of the “what ifs” and “if onlys” you asked yourself when you felt that life is passing you by. Think of failure as not trying rather than winning. Think of failure as a battle you lost but a war you could still win. Think of failure as a complicated friend rather than a vile enemy.

If you are scared of not being enough, think of the story of the twenty dollar bill, when the speaker held it up after he dropped it on the ground and fumbled it in the dirt, after he almost ripped it apart, and yet many raised their hand and still wanted it because it was still a twenty dollar bill.. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, good enough or not good enough, your value never changes, you are still priceless to those who love you and those who will love you.

If you are scared of heartbreak, think of the wisdom and strength you gained from your heartbreak, think of the self-discoveries you made out of your isolation and introspection. Think of the times that your brokenness inspired you to write, or sing, or dance, or just pack your bags and travel. Think of how you were not afraid of love once upon a time, and why you should never be afraid of love again. If you are afraid of love, perceive it as an act of giving rather than receiving. If you are afraid of love, think of how you can be even more afraid of loneliness.

If you are scared of death, think of the many times you died inside and how you came to see the light of day again. Think of all the near death experiences you had and remember how those experiences made you a lot more aware of your life and a lot more appreciative of it. We are mortal and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. You are here now, so be here, let the threat of death pave the way for you to live a daring life. Let’s live like we are dying, than die like we had never lived.

The comment section is opened for your thoughts and views about this.

Repost: How Many Celebrity Tragedies Before We Understand That Fame And Money Don’t Mean Happiness?

There are many conversations to be had in the wake of Robin Williams’ death. About the perils of depression; the silent weight of scrutiny that’s internalized when we treat famous people like characters, not humans; and the love a generation could have for a man, though we hadn’t taken a moment to discuss him until he was gone.

When tragedies like these occur, the only thing there is to do is take something and grow collectively. At the end of the day, the million+ tweets and posts and discussions about Robin are (for all we know) unbeknownst to him. They’re for us. So while we’re at it, let us take this too: You will not be happier tomorrow if you do not create happiness today.

We are aggregators and perpetuators of the idea that external success yields internal fulfillment. We spend our whole lives seeking that greatness: a physical body others can appreciate, stacks of money you can measure, material items other people can get wide-eyed and jealous of, attention and admiration that we believe will fill some emptiness within us.

External success — success that is sought because other people can perceive it — is a dark and winding path of putting our whole lives into something that never does fill the gaping, heavy hole that sent us running away from ourselves to begin with.

I have a hard time believing that Robin — or really anybody who has perished despite a seemingly phenomenal life — wouldn’t want us to understand this. More importantly, because of those people, but more due to our own internal convictions of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and disconnectedness (that we all at some level understand) I believe that this is what we need to start understanding.

Despite the endless feed of overdoses and tragedies, we remain a culture that is, for the most part, decidedly unaware. If you asked someone, in theory, does money and fame mean happiness? They’d probably say no, because they think that’s the right answer. And yet. But still. It’s easier and more instantly gratifying to keep seeking the external. It’s common, it’s normal, it’s expected, it doesn’t require much by the way of fiercely letting your own light refract into the untouched darkness of others’.

We are a society driven by ego. We have monopolized even the most natural and simple of processes for the sake of these empty, meaningless, physical accolades. We took control of animals to help discover/conquer new territories, then put them in concentration camps to be slaughtered (though, then again, we’ve done that to each other.) We’ve changed more on the Earth in 50 years than in the last 13,000 combined. Industrialized farming poisons our food for the sake of cheap, exponential growth, and our food workers wear radiation suits. Everything has been cloned, standardized, copied and individuality has been destroyed, ironically, in the face of our very isolation that has to be mentally resolved before anything else can be. We just continue to take and take and take and take.

And when other things aren’t enough, we take control of each other, and in the interim, we monopolize ourselves, too. We do this every time we police someone into behaving one certain way. Every time we believe what we’re conditioned to and don’t think for ourselves. Every time we allow something ultimately meaningless to control our lives because the one thing we have not learned to do is find something that does mean something to us.

We created a culture that cares far more about how things appear than how they actually are. As long as this carries on is as long as we’ll be seeking a great nothingness.

And the funny thing, the important thing, the only thing worth knowing here, really, is that if every one of us took it upon ourselves to fill ourselves with deep understanding and conviction, to perceive unity rather than isolation, to learn to embrace individuality in harmony with everyone else, these problems would disappear. We do not have to fix the outer. We do not have to deconstruct the society we live in to fix it. We have to deconstruct the illusions within us.

This is not something we vote on. This is not something we influence others to do. This is not what happens when we take control of other beings and things. We cannot keep perpetuating the world that we do, and losing the things that we are, the people we love, and ourselves. We do not just owe this to our heroes and our children and the people who have passed. We owe this to ourselves. We owe it to our own happiness to stop feeding into the incessant cruelty, to stop judging other people and policing them into a life we deem acceptable. We owe it to ourselves to ask for help when we need it. To help others when they do. To let our suffering move us toward deeper, internal acceptance and awareness and okayness through the external knowing that all is one and one is all and to know that no matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

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