83 Ways to Become a Better Person (List 2)

Hey guys!!!

To continue with the list I started yesterday on becoming a better person. Here is 26-40. If you missed the first list, please kindly check for my previous post to read.

26. Don’t do it just because others are doing it. Such a lame excuse.
27. Break up with whoever mistreats you. And that really means whoever ! No human being should stand for that.
28. Expect nothing for one day. Just do your best.
29. Say thank you for a hundred things daily. Thank you for the air, the water, the love of my husband, the music, the internet, the sky, the sun …
30. Tip a street musician. Actually, tip every single one you ever see for the rest of your life, even if the music is mediocre.
31. Don’t tip in restaurants if the service is bad or else what’s the point of tipping for good service?
32. Be punctual. Or better yet, be 10 minutes early.
33. Pick up the bill and surprise someone.
34. Stretch your body: legs, hips, arms, shoulders, fingers and toes. Stretch and breathe.
35. Drink loose-leaf tea. Do this twice and you won’t go back to tea bags and yes this makes you a better person!
36. Help someone with a task that comes easy to you.
37. Read another dozen books by about now.
38. Start a business . This one may take longer than a day but it doesn’t take as long as it used to. Best time to start a business is today.
39. Ignore a criticism. Just let it go once and see how it feels.
40. Ditch alcohol. It’s not as cool as you think, it ruins brain cells you’ll miss later and you’ll wish you were sober so you could remember more.

Stay tuned for the next list. I think after all this, I will get a lot of testimonies and positive results.

Photo credit: Pinterest

3 Tips for Dealing with Unemployment Stress

“Unfortunately, we will have to let you go…”

It was last month, in the afternoon when in the aftermath of this devastating sentence, I packed up my things. My job contract ended and there wasn’t anything i could do.

This month afterwards, I replayed my co-workers long faces, their barely concealed shock, and their naked relief that it hadn’t been them.

As this phase grew longer and longer though, I came to terms with it. I became convinced that this was the best thing that ever happened to me – and it was!

Unemployment is one of the many challenges that people face in the course of their careers.

The hardest thing about unemployment is not the lack of a job, but the self-doubt, the depression that creeps in, as job applications are rejected, over and over.

As someone who faced these rejections time and time again, I can tell you that it does get easier, and that it is possible to stay positive in the face of the storm. Here’s how –

1. Be Grateful

I know, I know. Easier said than done, but this is the most important of all. We have a tendency to blame ourselves for things outside our control, and nowhere is it truer than in the case of sudden job loss.

“It’s all my fault” or “I deserved it” are negative thoughts that can make your day spiral downwards instantly. Don’t indulge in them! Keep a check on negative self-talk – know that you deserve that dream job you’ve always desired. This is only a temporary setback on your way to the career you’ve always sought.

Gratitude can help direct the negative attitude into a more positive direction.

Top view of hands opening an empty leather wallet Premium Photo

One of the methods I used was to list two positive things for every negative thought that came to me. This tactic halted the black moods immediately, and showed me that in spite of everything, I still had things to be grateful for.

Another habit to encourage grateful thinking is to list down five things you’re thankful for, that day. I did it just before bed, but this can be done at any time during the day.

2. Have a Purpose

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” – Viktor Frankl’s famous book ‘Man’s Search for meaning’ makes a valid point. During unemployment, it can feel like there’s no point of getting out of bed, or of sending out resumes for the umpteenth time.

In truth, this approach will depress you – as it did me.

Keeping to a schedule – one that allows for fulfilling, purposeful activities is the best way to get through this time.

Is there a hobby you’ve been meaning to try your hand at?

Or an event you’ve wanted to go to? Now is the time to give it a go!

During my sabbatical, I got back to my true passion – writing. I wrote every day, without fail. I wrote articles, blog posts, short stories, poetry – anything that brought me comfort. Not only did it get me back in touch with my calling, it made me better at it – and the joy it brought into my day was unparalleled.

3. Get Outside!

Staying at home, day after day, is depressing. One of the things that worked for me was making myself go outside. I would head out for a walk, listen to some music in the park or simply grab a cup of coffee at the nearby cafe.

This helped me see there was a world beyond the confines of my home – which eased the sense of isolation and loneliness I often felt.

One other thing that worked wonders for me? Catching up with friends. Work can make us so busy, we often get out of touch with old pals, and this can be the best time to reconnect.

I agree that it can be tough. Listening to friends talk about their work – that really exciting deal they just cracked, or the project that they are currently working on, can be hard. In fact, it can feel like they are being deliberately cruel.

They’re not. Friends and Family are crucial at a time like this – when we are most vulnerable, and it feels like the dark times will never end. Give your friends a chance to rally around you, to support you in this difficult time. If discussions about work bother you, explain your point of view – more often than not, good friends will tone them down, or avoid speaking of it altogether.

However, if it is really difficult to be around old friends – make new ones! This can be as easy as volunteering for a cause you care about or joining a hobby class – there are new and interesting people to meet all around us!

Final Thoughts

In my first days of this break, I was overwhelmed. I was frantic in my job search and networking, but I was holed up at home, and the depression came at me in waves.

No one told me that health needs to be a priority at this time – physical AND mental.

It is really important to rediscover yourself in this time. You are not your job, or the organization that you work for. You are so much more than that!

2 Ways for Finding Purpose in Life When You’re at Rock Bottom

Life is an ugly, formless clump of mistakes and pain that can be molded with deliberate and careful hands to make something so beautiful from something so ugly, it is almost impossible to comprehend.

However, many people, maybe including yourself, believe this clump of life can be molded without an external force. However, there are two aspects of your life you have to change from this moment on to mold your own work of art.

1. Take Responsibility For Your Life

First, you must take full responsibility for everything that is present in your life.

You must take full responsibility for the good that arrives, but also the painful and inconvenient. You must be able to accept the fact that you have played a part in everything wrong that is in your life. You must figure out how to fix it.

You have to ask your self, “What can I do right now, at this very moment, to create a better tomorrow for myself, my family, and my future?”

You have two decisions to make. To either be the victim or accept the responsibility for yourself, but you already know you only have one choice.

Purpose in life

2. Win The War, Not Just The Battle

Second, you cannot win the war against the world if you can’t win the war against your own mind.

You have to dismiss the illusion that you cannot overcome this moment because of the perception in your mind. This very moment may be the lowest moment in your life.

You must remember that if this is the lowest moment in your life, then there is only up from here.

You must remind yourself that you matter. Life is going to hit you in the mouth, and you must remember that the wound will heal over time. It may take a week or a decade, but you must remember that the pain will subside and be replaced by the happiness you deserve.

Source: AUSTIN SHELLHAMMER

15 Things That I Let Go to Get Massive Success and Happiness in Life

If you met me 10 years ago, you’d think me ambitious, singled-minded, opinionated, self-righteous and very adamant about living life my way because that was the one and only path to success , quite obviously!

If we became really good friends though, you would see that I am forever searching for something else, an answer, a discovery, a shortcut to the end to make sure this is indeed the way. You would see that I am not half as confident despite my great level of success, which I so proudly defended.

You may even surmise that I am not happy and on many levels, you would not be far from the truth.

It took me a long time and a lot of courage to swallow my pride and shove my ego over the edge of a cliff so I could admit the truth to myself that I was not happy because that meant one thing: I am also not successful.

How can one exist without the other? Success has got to include the happiness element or what good is it and happiness in and of itself is pure success, no matter what your “accomplishments in life”.

The turning point in life happens when pain and misery become too heavy a burden to carry. That is when you begin your journey home. Sure, it would be nice if we were all proactively planning our careers five years in advance of ever becoming miserable, but we are human beings, not perfectly programmed little robots.

We falter, we err, we fall short, we hurt (ourselves and others), we make mistakes, we take the wrong path, we say the stupid thing, we choose the wrong partner, we miss out on love, we pick the unsuitable career, and we even lose the will to keep going at times. We also learn and turn it around and bring miracles to life.

But do not ever identify WHO you are entirely with WHAT you accomplish. That keeps your ego in check on both fronts, massive success and massive failure.

Failure is an event, not a person. ~Zig Ziglar

Here are 15 things that I let go to get massive success and happiness in life and business:

1. I let go of the obsession to be right all the time:

I don’t want to be right all the time Iwant to be wrong so I can learn. I want to not know the answers so I can grow, and I am okay with saying, “I don’t know but I can find out!”

2. I let go of the reluctance to apologize with sincerity:

It is no fun to apologize for being wrong but it’s pure hell to apologize when the other person is wrong. Sometimes it needs to be done and you even need to continue the relationship onward nonetheless. What did Nike say? Just Do It!

3. I let go of the obligation to read stuff that doesn’t light me up:

I couldn’t stand reading presentations, engineering magazines, and corporate-lingo-filled business books. Enough! Now I read whatever my heart desires. My lust is with the classics, memoirs and epic fantasy fiction ( A Song of Ice & Fire is my chosen obsession now). Ironic side-effect: Fiction fuels my creativity and helps my business.

4. I let go of the pursuit of friendship for the sake of friendship:

The idea that I did not have a lot of friends bothered me ever since the first day I stepped into an American high school and it only left just a few years ago. Friendship needs to fill your heart with love and joy. If you are not getting that, ditch your friends and get new ones.
5. I let go of the permission to pursue my radical crazy dream:
It’s not that crazy and you are not that radical. Stop the drama and get on with the dream. Over-analysis kills even more dreams than the need for permission.

6. I let go of the guilty feeling for living well and doing what I love:

Ah the guilty! Stop feeling guilty for living well , for being happy, for doing what you love, for making a lot of money, or travel the world every year. Feel joy instead.

7. I let go of the expectation of family and friends to “understand” me:

Do you understand them? Do you have empathy for their situations and viewpoints? Do you know their dreams? Stop putting this enormous and outrageous expectation on others if you ever want to be happy.

8.I let go of the expectation that my spouse needed be perfect:

Perfection is the disease that rots an otherwise happy relationship. Instead, cultivate the desire to improve yourself first and become a role model, not a nag, to your spouse or life partner in return.

9. I let go of the delusion that someone or something will show me the way:

Help is not on the way because you are the help you need in your life, and once you come to terms with that beautiful truth, you shock yourself with your own resourcefulness. It gets that good!

10. I let go of the need to control or fix my family, friends, partner:

Want to teach your brother how to argue better? Dying to show your sister-in-law how to treat you better? Well, stop. it’s their problem and their choice to be as they are. Focus on you and let go of control.

11. I let go of the idea that my first career has to be right for a lifetime:

How can you make such a perfect call at 16 or 18 years of age? Let the first one – or the first five – be giant mistakes. Just keep pushing until you find the right career.

12. I let go of the lie that it’s too late to re-invent myself:

It is never too late to start over or toreinvent who you are and to become the person you have always wanted to be. Never.

13. I let go of the excuses that get in the way of my goals:

Stop lathering yourself with excuses. You are not fooling anyone especially yourself. The weight of excuses is heavy. Drop them. Just do what needs to be done!

14. I let go of the envy and jealousy of successful people:

The comparison game has a sad ending and you lose that game every time. Be inspired by the success of others and then mold it into your own path.

15. I let go of the victim mindset that says “pity me!”:

Sure, people will pity and feel bad for you but what does that get you? Let it go. Take on the abundance mindset that promises you the world’s riches starting with your thoughts. Adopt the right thoughts.

18 Ways To Learn How To Stop Procrastinating Now (Part 4)

Hey guys!

Today I will be sharing the last part of my series on procrastination.

1. Determine if it’s worth doing.
You might just be procrastinating because you don’t want to do something for a good reason. It may be a job you hate, a procedure you can’t stand, a part of your life that you simply want to escape. That is different from procrastinating on your dreams and real goals.

To this, I would say examine the task at hand before doing it because why do something you hate with so many opportunities to do what we love?

2. Tiptoe in to see what happens.
Pick the thing you are procrastinating right now and just tiptoe in to see what happens. Do a fraction of it. Then decide how you feel about the advice.

Often you overwhelm yourself with the idea of doing it all and then you sit on it because it’s too much. What if you just did 15 minutes or half an hour? What if you got on board for just a wee bit to get a taste and break the waiting cycle?

3. Don’t listen to your moods. They lie.
The strongest reason we procrastinate is because we just “don’t feel like doing it!” You know what happens if you listen to that lousy mood? Nothing happens!

So before you do whatever you need to do, change your mood with a meditation track or check out my popular 10 Minute Invigorator Program that is guaranteed to switch up your mood in 10 minutes or less.

4. Clean up the environment.
The environment you surround yourself with can either perpetuate your procrastination or nip it in the bud. Take a look at your desk, your house, your space where you need to do this work. Is it clean or cluttered ?
Have courage and clean up the mess, throw away the rubbish you don’t need, and create a peaceful and productive space that is inducive to creativity and positivity.

5. Commit to it loud and clear.
In the first 20 minutes of my 6am Ashtanga yoga practice, a voice inside me is complaining and fussing “This is way too hard at this crazy hour. Let me go back to bed. Stop! I don’t feel like it!” And I know right then that if I give power to that mental shift, if I don’t commit loudly to the breath and the practice, if I stare at the clock, then I might as well go home.
Commit already. Commit loud. Commit and mean it. Commit to yourself.

6. Share your commitment with one person.
Choose one person, a partner, a spouse, a role model, a good friend, and tell them you committed to something specific, with dates and times. Ask if they please hold you accountable in a friendly but firm way?

The best partner is someone who may need the encouragement too. What is it that they are procrastinating on? Can you keep one another honest? Of course you can! Together, you are twice as strong!

7. Stop playing the victim card.
Why do we glorify being a victim of circumstance? Why do complainers get so many listening ears? There is nothing sexy or healthy about playing the victim, trust me.

Be your own hero instead. Be a warrior of peace. Be strong and tall and grateful for life. Stop the victim mindset and when it creeps in, just change it by telling yourself that you are in charge.

8. Kill the excuses. Abolish the distractions.
In order to do this, you must first know the definition of an excuse and a distraction. The dictionary definition says an excuse is “ a reason put forward to conceal the real reason for an action.”

Excuses and distractions build the walls of resistance, but only if you give them focus and attention. Put your focus and attention where it belongs: on the task at hand.

9. Maximize the small chunks of time.
You have got to manage your time well if you want to be a success. One good news is that you don’t need large chunks of time to get things done.
If you can’t dedicate an hour or two a day to something that matters to you, you can start with 15 minutes or 30 minutes a day, but for the long term, think about a fundamental shift in your lifestyle design. For now, use the 10-minute chunks everywhere you can find them.

10. Let the power of mantra guide you.
Mantras are positive affirmations you repeat to yourself over and over. This can help you achieve this. You can even synchronize your breathing. In-breath will do the first half of the mantra and out breath the second half.

Some of my favorites are “If they can, so can I” and “ I’ll do it now so I can reap the reward later.” Choose your own mantra and repeat it.

11. Turn a deaf ear to your lizard brain.
The inner voice is negative, it is your lizard brain , as Seth would tell us, and if you let it loose, it will destroy your mind with negativity. Stop listening to it by not focusing on it.
Recognize when you may be entering your lizard brain, it’s usually when you doubt your ability to get something done. Even if you don’t believe in yourself at first, keep repeating your positive mantra to quiet the negativity.

12. Visualize the end goal. See it in your mind’s eye.
Visualization is a powerful exercise that helps you focus on the end goal. It is a proven technique that kills procrastination and motivates you to high levels of success.

It takes a lot of focus and attention to seeing the end goal and how it can manifest itself in your life. Start with creating a vision board if you want to give this a full try.

13. Create enough pain to move you to action.
Pain moves you to action. It was pain that led me out of my corporate life and into running my own businesses.

If you have enough pain, you will start doing. And if you told me that you wanted out of the corporate world but you are sitting around not taking any action, it’s because you are not in enough pain to take action.

So are you in pain from not doing what needs to be done? Let’s take weight loss. Are you in enough anguish from your weight and health problems to take action yet? If not, then can you creatively create more pain (yes I am asking you to create more pain in your comfortable state)?

14. Harness the fear and win.
Say no to fear. Fear is procrastination’s best ally so it’s bound to show up. Just don’t accept it. Don’t invite it in. Engage it in conversation to calm your nerves, to be in charge, to have control. If you can do this once, you can do it again and soon it becomes a habit.

Who hasn’t had a conversation with oneself? Why not make it a good one? In the privacy of your thoughts, ask yourself why you are procrastinating, what it is, is it fear, is it laziness, is it lack of knowledge? What is at your soft core? Listen to the whispers coming back. Then let your own inner guide help you push past the fear.

15. Cultivate self-discipline.
It’s either the pain of getting self-disciplined now or tasting the bitter pill of regret later. When put in that perspective, it is a quick decision. To translate it to action, create your own small habits that will build up your productivity.

Everyone is different. Cultivate at the pace what works for you, maybe an hour early in the morning, maybe a Sunday night ritual, maybe timing yourself, maybe working in complete isolation. Find that magic habit that works for you. That’s your self-discipline.

16. Make that deadline count.
Setting deadlines is easy to do and hard to keep. Nothing could be easier than putting a date on the calendar so how do you make it count if you hate deadlines? Put some repercussions in place.

Tell yourself that if you are not done by this date, you have to give up on something you really like. For me, the ultimate punishment would be my daily good tea . What do you want to give up if you don’t meet that deadline?

17. Drop the perfectionism.
Perfectionism is not something to be proud of. It is a habit that holds you back from delivery results. Don’t mistake it with high quality. Of course you must delivery your highest work at the best quality, but perfection? Do you think that it even exists?

Have you ever achieved the state of perfectionism and been rewarded to the point that you now hold yourself to it every time? Learn to cure your perfectionism and move yourself to a steady state of taking action.

18. Reward yourself big every time.
We do not reward ourselves nearly enough. When you achieve a goal, any shape or size, especially one you have been procrastinating on for a long time, celebrate it! Buy yourself something wonderful. Give yourself a day off. Do something you rarely do for yourself. Look at your accomplishment with gratitude and joy.

It’s a big deal when you break through the barriers of procrastination. Congratulations are in order! How do you celebrate in style? I book a trip somewhere special and run off to practice more yoga.
We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment. ~ Jim Rohn

What are you procrastinating on? Did you learn more about how to stop procrastinating by stopping here?

How To Stop Procrastinating: Getting In The Flow of Getting It Done. (Part 3)

Hey guys!!! Happy weekend to you all.

Today I give you the third part of my series on procrastination.

Tell me if this is not true for you.When you actually commit to doing something, you get it done fast and without any fuss. You are focused. Your decision drives you, and you know what needs to happen and you just do it.

Plus the satisfaction that comes from your results generates even more creativity and productivity.

Those are the times you are in the zone. You are on top of it. You are untouchable by delays and excuses. You are doing your best and moving towards your goals and desires.

You love this feeling of completion. You secretly prefer this feeling to stress of procrastinating and yet you manage to procrastinate on a whole lot of things. Why is that?

Because you have a habit of procrastinating. But the good news about habits is that you can break them by interrupting them and replacing them with better, more fruitful habits.

The final part will be poster on Monday. Stay glued to this post.

Fact Of The Day

When you’re at the top, be careful of the monster called PRIDE. Pride will make you look down on people who haven’t attaind your level of success.
When you’re at the bottom, be careful of the monster called BITTERNESS. Bitterness will make you jealous & think that other people are the reason you haven’t made it.

The Trust Of A Child Has No Boundaries

Guest post by: Eric Nelson

I’ll sometimes pause to observe student behavior at work to see how they react in a certain situation or atmosphere. One thing about children is that they trust those who are responsible for them without any boundaries. They love without any limitations and often understand it better than adults. If a teacher tells or asks a child to do something, they usually respond in hopes of pleasing the adult. It is also pretty clear to see this begin to fade away as children become older and start learning negative behaviors from allowing the world to be their teacher.

Luke 18:17 says, “Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” Assuredly is defined as “without a doubt.” Therefore, without a doubt we should receive the kingdom of God and follow His ways as a child follows the ways of their caretaker. We often see that children are a reflection of what they have learned or been exposed to throughout their childhood. We all had a caretaker in our lives that helped develop who we have become today. Whether it was positive or negative, they provided an image of what integrity, character, respect, and other behavioral actions looked like.

These people are special in our lives but there is another caretaker that provides a perfect example of how we should live this life on Earth. Jesus shows us how to live a life that is pleasing to Him and provides a purposeful life. All we have to do is turn to Him and approach him with childlike faith that trusts Him without any boundaries. It may not always look how we envision it, but it looks just like He envisions it, which is far more life giving than we can give ourselves.

Challenge: Let’s all work towards letting go of our way and grabbing hold of God’s way. This is our excuse to be a child again; to receive the blessing of God.

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Photo from Pinterest

Finding My Purpose: A Light Unto My Path

When a ship is taken out of the water, it is removed from it’s purpose. Do you ever feel like you have been removed from your purpose? Many things in life make us feel at a loss. This post contains my recommendation for you to rediscover yourself.

A stranded ship calls forward thoughts of loss, sadness, and images of the past. Ships belong on water. A ship without water feels useless. There are times in our lives when we feel like stranded ships, calling for the deep water to give us purpose.

Perhaps you have been involved with a career that no longer inspires you. Or perhaps your marriage feels automatic and lacks passion. Maybe you are facing a major decision like which college major you should choose, or which company should be your employer. Regardless of the situation, the feeling is common across these instances.
We are overwhelmed with a feeling of loss. We no longer know our purpose. Even when we call out for a sign and receive only silence. “God, why don’t you speak to me?” we cry out. We pray, and we ask God to show us the way. Still, we feel alone, helpless.

For those searching for answers and seeking advice, I recommend turning to scripture. It is in the word of God that I found my purpose.

Psalm 119:105 spoke to me in my darkest hours. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” I spent many years pursuing a goal and ignoring my gifts. I did what others expected of me, often sacrificing my own happiness. Then, I read God’s word with a hopeful heart. Each time I read scripture, I hear God speaking to me, instructing me. He lights the way and it is up to me to follow.
The path might be filled with hills and valleys, but He walks with us. We learn to persevere and to help others along the way. He calls us to love our neighbors, and it is through this love that we will change the world. Our potential is endless. We can move mountains if only we have the courage to step out into the wilderness. God is our shepherd. He will protect us.

When you find yourself feeling like a stranded ship, turn to God’s word. He will renew your spirit and help you sail into deep, beautiful waters.

Do Something For Someone That Cannot Return The Favour


If you study the life of Jesus, you will notice that He gave up a lot of what could have been ‘popularity‘ for the sake of the poor, the enslaved and the sick. One of the primary reasons that Jesus was so disliked by the Jewish leaders of that day was that He didn’t give them a lot of attention. Instead, He was always focused on the needs of the people around Him.

This is a great example for how we should live our lives. Like Jesus, our focus should also be on the needs of those around us, not on gaining popularity with people on similar levels to us. We need to stop focusing on what is going to make us seem more popular or more recognized and follow the example of helping the less fortunate that Jesus set.

Whether we are blessed with good health, a solid financial situation, or just a free man or woman, we all need to start thinking about ways to help those who are less fortunate in these areas. As we decided to go help an serve these people, let what we do come out of the overflow of our love for what Jesus did for us all on the cross, never focused on what is in it for us. – All of us were slaves and in bondage, but Jesus decided that dying for each of us was worth more than living a life of popularity.

In my life, helping others that cannot help me has encouraged me remain humble and to fall more in love with God. Each time I help someone out of the kindness of my heart, I am reminded to continue each day to become more and more like Jesus. Someone once told me, Those of us that live in freedom and abundance are responsible for those who don’t.” I couldn’t agree with this more. As a follower of Christ, I seek to humbly follow the examples that He set! I encourage you to do the same in your areas of influence.

Matthew 25:34-45
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.

Note To Self

1. Live authentically

2. Work ambitiously

3. Choose courage over comfort

4. Money makes me feel secure, not happy

5. Everyone thinks they’re right

6. Alcohol feels good at first and becomes a burden later

7. Worrying is praying for your worst nightmare

8. Material luxuries are best when limited

9. Keeping expectations low is a good strategy

10. It’s never right the first time

11. Everyone who is vulnerable is interesting

12. Most things distract you from realizing it’s easy

13. Trust what you want, not what you think you will work

14. Walks exude inspiration

15. Over time, I get better at everything and take it for granted

Killing The Ungodly With The Godly: Breaking Bad Habits

By: CHRISTINE LAILANI GINETE – ROME

Human skull and crossbones drug addict concept

Are you struggling with breaking bad habits and addictions? Here are 5 strategies for breaking bad habits that will help you finally break free.

When it comes to breaking bad habits, there is no denying we’re all guilty of them one way or the other. They can range from severe to mild. For the mild ones, they are easier to overcome. But for the severe ones, this is where the struggle is real. How can we overcome bad habits through God’s grace accompanied by our own efforts?

Breaking Bad Habits with God’s Help

1. Determine if the bad habit is severe or mild.

Or in other words, is it an addiction or just slight misconduct? If it is the former, this might require medical intervention with a professional. But, accompanied by spiritual guidance through mentoring or coaching sessions.

If it is the latter, this will involve a change in the lifestyle or interests. One possible way is to look for other meaningful hobbies if, let’s say, you have this habit of spending most of your free time on social media. Though social networking has its good side, it also has its bad side. Or if it has something to do with chronic lateness in everything, then a shift in the lifestyle might be required. Creating a calendar of activities or a to-do list, for one, might be able to help.

2. Create a resolutions list.

Or much better, a faith goals list. When we hear the word “resolutions,” often nothing happens. But if these are faith goals, we are not just believing in ourselves that we can make them happen, but we believe for God to work on our behalf. As the Bible says,

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” – James 2:17

3. Connect with a spiritual family.

The spiritual family is one of the best groups to go to when it comes to therapy sessions. Because for those dealing with extreme cases of addiction, the healing needs to be deep within. There is no best way to go when it comes to spiritual healing except for the source of life – God.

4. Involve your closest support system.

This support system is your family and friends that are closest to you. We call them your “accountability partners.” They will check up on you if you’re making any progress at all. Ask for their feedback, too, but be open-minded when they give you suggestions including a rebuke. Often, being rebuked because the truth is too painful more than the addiction or bad habit, itself. But we can always remember they are “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) because they care.

5. Apply a reward/punishment system.

Having a system is a good approach if you’re aiming to reinforce good behavior and eliminate the bad. Progressive schools apply this concept to children as a way of teaching discipline. Reward yourself if you were able to meet some of your faith goals. But it is also necessary to list down and apply the consequences/punishment to yourself if you fail to achieve the targeted goals. You may do this either by fasting or removing something you can’t live without every day. For the reward, you may treat yourself by buying that new jacket you’ve been eyeing on lately or go on an out-of-town trip.R

All in all, these strategies when it comes to breaking bad habits won’t be helpful if not accompanied by self-discipline, self-control, and lots of quiet times with the Lord. We all deal with our inability to control and discipline ourselves in some areas of our lives. But this is the perfect reason why there is a God, and we need Him. If we need to change and break habits, we need an even more powerful force to help us subdue them. Only God can change hearts because nothing is just too hard for God; even when it seems impossible for man (Matthew 19:26).

If you want more, you’ve gotta give more.

If you finally made it to where you think God has called you, hold on tight because you’re about to be moved forward again. The moment you are comfortable, is the moment for advancement.

God takes you from season to season because in each season you learn more and grow. Once you’ve learned enough to move ahead, through your willingness to serve, He moves you forward. We become comfortable because we have learned all we can learn in that season, therefore, it is pointless for us to stay there. If we stay in our comfortability, we will become stagnant and we will not continue to grow or learn. Comfortability leads nowhere fast. You may be in the place, setting, job, season, state, relationship, etc; that you know God has called you to but with no new challenges or opportunity to grow, you are literally limiting yourself. If you’ve officially reached your life-long goal and you have no goals or plans to follow that, then you’ve capped your growth right then and there.

Let’s be honest, the only thing God asks us to do is be obedient. He gives us more than we could ever need or deserve and yet what are we giving Him? Are we giving of our time, money, or even our lives? If yes to any, how much are we truly giving? Are we giving to the extent that makes us comfortable or are we truly stepping out in faith and giving God EVERYTHING we have. After all, all that we have is from God’s tremendous blessings in the first place. I heard a song that said “You can’t take away what the world didn’t give” how awesome is that? Just try to wrap your brain around that concept for a moment. Only God has the power to take away what He has given, so if we belittle and devalue what He has given us, what’s to say He doesn’t have the power to take it away?

If we’re totally honest, it is kind of depressing when you give someone a gift and at the next special event you see them re-gift it or even worse, give it back to you. How do we think God feels when He gives us a gift and we don’t put any value on it, receive it, or even give it away? When we show no care and put no effort into it, I’m certain God feels the same as we do in those moments. We have to remember, God created us in His likeness, so our emotions resemble His, therefore, He has all the same feelings and emotions we do. With no doubt, His emotions are to a greater extent because we are His children. When God gives us a gift, He wants us to receive it, put value on it, and invest in it. When we put nothing into it, there is no reason for Him to give us anything else. Yet, for some reason, we pray relentlessly asking God for something, He answers our prayers, we receive the gift, and then after the monotony sets in, we devalue this gift we unceasingly asked for. God sees us pushing this amazing gift aside and He also hears the prayers of us asking for more. Eventually we stomp our feet, we yell and shout God down, as if He isn’t listening to us, and we wonder why we aren’t getting anything more.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” -Matthew 7:7

Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at this from God’s perspective. He gave us what we asked for, we pushed it aside, we can’t even appreciate and grow in what He gave us, why would He give us more? So we could throw that to the wayside as well?

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” -James 4:3

It’s all about give and take. God can give and God can take away. If we devalue or put a gift above God, He has the power to take it away.

“I was born with nothing, and I will die with nothing. The Lord gave, and now he has taken away. May His name be praised!” -Job 1:21

He is a jealous God who only asks for our willingness to obey His commandments. Why do we complicate everything so much and ask “what’s in it for me”? What if; we asked God for something, He gave it to us, and we gave that thing 100% of what we have? Whether it be time, energy, love, ect… Just watch and see how God blesses your faithfulness, obedience, and diligence.

The concept is simple, if you want more, you’ve gotta give more. Not out of selfish desires but true obedience, love, and passion to do all you can for God. When obeying God, strap yourself in because He will take you on the most exciting journey, throughout your entire life and walk with Him.

“And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” -Colossians 2:6-7

Finding Jesus Through Addiction

I’m positive there will be people who read this with no clue how to understand what the article is about. I apologize to you in advance. My prayer is that there will be a few individuals who either suffer from addiction themselves or have someone else they are close to in which this article will produce a little peace and patience for those being affected.

You may or may not agree with the message I have in this article. This has simply been my experience and the message I have been led to share after spending time in prayer about the subject.

How many of us have ever been at a 12 step meeting and laughed when the one person makes the comment? “No one grows up telling themselves that they want to be an alcoholic or a porn addict, or a drug addict when they get older, or my goal in life is to one day be an alcoholic or a sex addict”

I tricked myself into believing this one thought was my curse for most of my adult life.

From my earliest childhood memories in Lagos/Abuja, I can remember my mummy telling us that our father was an alchholic and a smoker. Thank God for Jesus in his life right now. I can also remember being 19 years old on a Saturday afternoon with several of my friends, and a couple of his buddies.

We were all on the field chatting and gossiping about girls, sex styles, pornography actresses, some of my friends were even drinking beer, and smoking some weed and so on. Everything was skenchy that day. No one had any problems or a care in the world. It’s the night I specifically remember making the comment to my friends. “If this is what being an addict is, then this is exactly what I want.” Lord have mercy!!!

I spent over 10 years believing that saying those words is what created my problem. I now know the truth. Nothing I have ever said could have the power to give me the blessing of being an addict.

I now know that I have this precious gift because my life was planned long before I was born.

Every single person who suffers and recovers from addiction has been hand-picked by God. He chooses us because normal people could never live through the horrible lives we create through our addiction and survive to help others carrying the same cross. Normal people could never handle the broken families, loss of jobs, or seeing our children go without in order for us to get another buzz.

Having family and friends grow to the point where they want nothing to do with us. Sleeping in cars, begging people who pass by on the streets for change, just to get another beer, or data to watch porn is something you have to experience in order to relate and provide comfort. There is no doctor, college degree, medicine, or self-help book that could ever help a person recover from this. Only Jesus and the special ones of us that He picks, who have lived through it ourselves.

God blesses us with gifts.

He also gives us the opportunity of killing ourselves with them or using them to point others to the cross. He allows us to make a choice of going to meetings, fellowship, or gatherings talking about our struggles with others, and going out of our way to encourage or inspire another person who is having a more difficult time than we are. God allows us to admit when we are wrong and make amends to those we have wronged in the past. He places people in our lives who can teach us how to serve Him first and others second. Only then will He bless us. God chooses us to be addicts.

If you are suffering from addiction, there’s absolutely nothing I can tell you about your struggle you don’t already know. There’s one thing I can tell you. The feeling is amazing once you’re finally able to stare Satan in the face and laugh at him. This only happens once you have learned how to allow God to fight your battle for you.

The other part of the problem

This message is also for the person who looks down on those who are suffering. Addiction is a life-threatening matter. It’s not as simple as not drinking or using, or watching, not at first anyway. The battle we face is real. You staring down your nose at something you don’t understand might be what ends up pushing someone over the edge.

Since when does the Bible say to love your neighbour, unless they drink too much? Is there a verse that says give to the poor, unless they watch porn? If someone is suffering from addiction enough to ask you for change, trust me when I tell you that you have no clue how bad they need a drink, substance, or means to watch porn.

This doesn’t make them a bad person. It doesn’t mean that God loves you more than He loves them. It means they were created in His image and you’re to love them the same way you would anyone else. I am not saying buy a 12 pack and start handing them out to the homeless. I am saying, when you give away change you know it will be used to buy alcohol, say a prayer for the individual while walking away.

Drop your comments if you have anything to add to this write up.

God bless!!!

Comparing Your Life to Other People’s Lives – It’s a Trap!

Man comparing two measurements

It’s easy to get caught in thinking you are the only one facing a momentary challenge in your life or long-running adversity, the only one with unanswered questions, or the only one who hasn’t figured out how to create the balance, health, relationships, finances or career success you want.

But that’s actually not the case.

Everyone faces challenges!

Everyone has unanswered questions of some sort. Everyone is working out how to create what they want. Everyone is evolving in their own unique way, at their own pace.

One way you are conditioned to feel like you’re the only one with challenges is that you are led to believe everyone else “has got it together” because most people are only showing the sanitized and happy aspects of their life to the world – on social media, in social situations, and in conversation.

Many people keep the dark moments to themselves or sharing only with those trusted and loved people closest to them. That is natural and of course in many cases quite appropriate. But it leads you into a false perspective of your own situation in relation to others.

You can easily get lost in comparison, and end up feeling alone and isolated in your challenges from this perspective. Comparing your worst day with someone else’s best day will never bring you peace.C

No one else on this planet is going to unfold in their life like you are. No one. No one else is uniquely like you. You cannot be compared. What you most need to understand when you go into comparison mode in your mind, is that you channel all of your energy away from your own creative processes. Instead of focusing your thoughts and feelings and actions on creating outcomes for yourself, you focus all of your attention to someone else and what they are creating for themselves. This leaves you no power and it is also a complete waste of your precious energy.

Just because unhealthy comparison doesn’t serve you, does not mean you can’t genuinely observe and admire the success of another person. This is actually uplifting – feeling joy for all they are being and creating. You may well feel inspired into the ongoing possibilities for yourself by witnessing them flourishing. You may see opportunities to learn from what they are doing. You may be able to apply that learning in your own path, in your own unique way, aligned with your passions, inspirations, and intuition, to aid your success.

And… you will always clearly know the difference between this form of positive observation and learning, versus pure painful comparison. The former leaves you feeling uplifted and excited, and the latter leaves you feeling sad, frustrated and deflated.

Listen to the messages your feelings are giving you.