If you met me 10 years ago, you’d think me ambitious, singled-minded, opinionated, self-righteous and very adamant about living life my way because that was the one and only path to success , quite obviously!
If we became really good friends though, you would see that I am forever searching for something else, an answer, a discovery, a shortcut to the end to make sure this is indeed the way. You would see that I am not half as confident despite my great level of success, which I so proudly defended.
You may even surmise that I am not happy and on many levels, you would not be far from the truth.
It took me a long time and a lot of courage to swallow my pride and shove my ego over the edge of a cliff so I could admit the truth to myself that I was not happy because that meant one thing: I am also not successful.
How can one exist without the other? Success has got to include the happiness element or what good is it and happiness in and of itself is pure success, no matter what your “accomplishments in life”.
The turning point in life happens when pain and misery become too heavy a burden to carry. That is when you begin your journey home. Sure, it would be nice if we were all proactively planning our careers five years in advance of ever becoming miserable, but we are human beings, not perfectly programmed little robots.
We falter, we err, we fall short, we hurt (ourselves and others), we make mistakes, we take the wrong path, we say the stupid thing, we choose the wrong partner, we miss out on love, we pick the unsuitable career, and we even lose the will to keep going at times. We also learn and turn it around and bring miracles to life.
But do not ever identify WHO you are entirely with WHAT you accomplish. That keeps your ego in check on both fronts, massive success and massive failure.
Failure is an event, not a person. ~Zig Ziglar
Here are 15 things that I let go to get massive success and happiness in life and business:
1. I let go of the obsession to be right all the time:
I don’t want to be right all the time Iwant to be wrong so I can learn. I want to not know the answers so I can grow, and I am okay with saying, “I don’t know but I can find out!”
2. I let go of the reluctance to apologize with sincerity:
It is no fun to apologize for being wrong but it’s pure hell to apologize when the other person is wrong. Sometimes it needs to be done and you even need to continue the relationship onward nonetheless. What did Nike say? Just Do It!
3. I let go of the obligation to read stuff that doesn’t light me up:
I couldn’t stand reading presentations, engineering magazines, and corporate-lingo-filled business books. Enough! Now I read whatever my heart desires. My lust is with the classics, memoirs and epic fantasy fiction ( A Song of Ice & Fire is my chosen obsession now). Ironic side-effect: Fiction fuels my creativity and helps my business.
4. I let go of the pursuit of friendship for the sake of friendship:
The idea that I did not have a lot of friends bothered me ever since the first day I stepped into an American high school and it only left just a few years ago. Friendship needs to fill your heart with love and joy. If you are not getting that, ditch your friends and get new ones.
5. I let go of the permission to pursue my radical crazy dream:
It’s not that crazy and you are not that radical. Stop the drama and get on with the dream. Over-analysis kills even more dreams than the need for permission.
6. I let go of the guilty feeling for living well and doing what I love:
Ah the guilty! Stop feeling guilty for living well , for being happy, for doing what you love, for making a lot of money, or travel the world every year. Feel joy instead.
7. I let go of the expectation of family and friends to “understand” me:
Do you understand them? Do you have empathy for their situations and viewpoints? Do you know their dreams? Stop putting this enormous and outrageous expectation on others if you ever want to be happy.
8.I let go of the expectation that my spouse needed be perfect:
Perfection is the disease that rots an otherwise happy relationship. Instead, cultivate the desire to improve yourself first and become a role model, not a nag, to your spouse or life partner in return.
9. I let go of the delusion that someone or something will show me the way:
Help is not on the way because you are the help you need in your life, and once you come to terms with that beautiful truth, you shock yourself with your own resourcefulness. It gets that good!
10. I let go of the need to control or fix my family, friends, partner:
Want to teach your brother how to argue better? Dying to show your sister-in-law how to treat you better? Well, stop. it’s their problem and their choice to be as they are. Focus on you and let go of control.
11. I let go of the idea that my first career has to be right for a lifetime:
How can you make such a perfect call at 16 or 18 years of age? Let the first one – or the first five – be giant mistakes. Just keep pushing until you find the right career.
12. I let go of the lie that it’s too late to re-invent myself:
It is never too late to start over or toreinvent who you are and to become the person you have always wanted to be. Never.
13. I let go of the excuses that get in the way of my goals:
Stop lathering yourself with excuses. You are not fooling anyone especially yourself. The weight of excuses is heavy. Drop them. Just do what needs to be done!
14. I let go of the envy and jealousy of successful people:
The comparison game has a sad ending and you lose that game every time. Be inspired by the success of others and then mold it into your own path.
15. I let go of the victim mindset that says “pity me!”:
Sure, people will pity and feel bad for you but what does that get you? Let it go. Take on the abundance mindset that promises you the world’s riches starting with your thoughts. Adopt the right thoughts.