Change is inevitable. We need to press forward into it.
When people move, change jobs, lose relationships and thousands of other types of changes they are under a certain amount of pressure. Change means dealing with the unknown. We like to have all our ducks in a row and to know exactly what’s happening each step of the way. When something changes, things are different. This can be threatening as well as taxing. Change always requires more of our attention.
For instance, when we are developing new relationships with people, we must learn how they react in every situation. What things do they like? What do they dislike? What is acceptable to say to them? What is not? Will they get offended if we tease them?
Getting to know someone demands much more of our energy than what is required to simply be with a good friend we have known for a long time. The stress this creates can shorten our fuse in other areas.
In fact, any kind of change can add stress to our lives, which can make us irritable and tense. Some women, for example, are difficult to live with during their monthly cycle. Why? Because their bodies are changing and they feel difficult. If they don’t get more rest and avoid potentially stressful situations, they are more vulnerable to conflict during this time. Within a few days they are able to handle wonderfully something that they could not handle at all during the time of their physical changes.
The same is true for women who are going through the change of life. Their bodies are undergoing drastic changes, and often middle- aged women find that their bodies can no longer bounce back the way they did before. These physical changes affect some women more than others, but for many, it’s a season of change that can open doors for strife in relationships.
If a woman’s patience level is low and the noise level in her home is high, she may get angry. Things she was quite satisfied with before may suddenly become unacceptable. If her husband does not give her the affection she desires, she may be more easily hurt, and so withdraw and act in ways that her family is not used to. Her need for affection apart from sex may increase during this time. She wants to be held, but nothing more.
In order to avoid conflict during such a stressful change, it helps for a woman to remember that her husband cannot read her mind. She needs to remember that she is changing, but her family is just the same as always. They do not feel the way she does and should not be expected to understand her without some education.
When i was experiencing a change in my life, i started talking to myself, an heart to heart conversation with myself. Do not allow change to disorient you to the point that it causes strife.
Some people have difficulty when their church or organization undergoes some kind of change. Perhaps the pastor feels that God is leading his church into an international missions outreach program. Some members of his congregation may think it’s great, while others may feel that an inner city outreach program would be better. When people fail to realize that many of their feelings are based on their own opinions and preferences, they can quickly open a door fro strife by vocalizing their disagreement. It’s a mistake to assume that a leader is not following God’s will just because you don’t agree personally with a change he or she makes. This can cause an unbelievable amount of conflict and destruction in a church.
Whenever you are facing changes of any kind, remember the devil will try to take advantage of you. He hopes to catch you off guard so you will let him in without realizing what’s happening.
That’s why, if your workplace, church, or some other organization you are involved with undergoes a change that you dislike, the wise thing to do is to give it some time to see how the change really affects you. Give things a chance to settle. If after the period of waiting you still feel the same way, talk to the person responsible for the change. Once you understand the situation and why the change was made, your entire outlook may change.
If you’ve done this and find that you still can’t be happy with the change, consider leaving, but leave in peace. Do not gossip and complain to others. Do not leave assuming that everyone else is wrong. What they are doing may be right for their business, church, or organization, but not right for you. We are to give one another liberty and not be judgmental.
Another kind of change that can open the door to strife occurs during those times when God is dealing with us. When the Lord is dealing with us on the inside, He intends to bring change on the outside. These changes are designed to bring progress, and satan will always fight progress.