Before I begin my testimony I feel it is important to give you some information on my childhood, so you will be better able to understand some of the decisions I made in my life, however good or bad they may have been. But every decision I have made during my lifetime good or bad is what has brought me to where I am now and I am very thankful for the mountains and the valleys.
When I was born my mother was only fifteen years old and now years later and after I went through the process of forgiving her and working through many things, I am now able to look at her life through her eyes to try to better understand how she must have felt. Someone gave me this advice when I was really struggling with all of this, I was told that maybe I could forgive easier if I try to see her life through her eyes and not the eyes of a hurt child, “you know what?” it worked, I can understand her more clearly now. She was not mature enough to take care of herself much less a baby. So she would send me here and there to whomever would willing to take me at that particular time, most of the time it was my grandmother, several times throughout my life she would decide that she wanted me back and she would come and uproot me again. I never really knew any stability in my life [although my grandmother tried] and I always felt as if no one really loved me or wanted me.
Then at the age of nine she came and got me and took me away from my grandmother which, really at this point of my life, was the only mother I had ever known and I was very attached to her. Anyway, my mother came and took me to Illinois where she lived, by this time she had remarried and she had two more children by her new husband. He hated me and the only reason I could figure out was simply that I was not his child. Now this was not my fault, although I did blame myself for many years. He started just physically abusing me, but at the age of nine that changed, he raped me and this abuse went on until I was thirteen and I finally told my mother [even though he threatened me that if I ever told anyone he would kill me and my grandmother], she didn’t believe me either, actually no one believed me. Finally I just let it drop and I buried all of those feelings of anger and hate for years, that has now all been dealt with and forgiven and now it is all under the precious blood of Jesus, I have even forgiven him for what he did to me in the Lord’s strength not my own. Praise God! I told my mother that I wanted to go back to Memphis to live with my grandmother and she consented just because she felt I was causing so much trouble and she did not want to be bothered.
Now my grandmother was now also remarried and I resented him for taking her away from me too. You must remember I was only a child and I felt like she was all I had and now I had lost her too. I was very hateful to him and caused so many problems, he was very kind and loving to me but I just could not accept what he was offering to me. My grandmother finally after a long struggle went to the courts and told the judge that I was out of control and they just could not handle me any longer, so they removed me and placed me in a foster home, the home I went to was wonderful, but at that time I could not see things clearly, all I could see was that the only person who should love me had now turned her back on me as well, I just wanted my grandmother so, I ran away. The courts then really called my bluff, so as a ward of the State of Tennessee I was placed in a Catholic all girls reform school for three and a half years, even our pet Saint Bernard was female LOL. Now as I look back, I can honestly say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But at that time all I could see was that I was totally alone, unloved and unwanted in this great big world.
Now I will jump ahead some. In 1987 I lost my three children to their father [not in the courts he just merely took them and left the state without my knowledge or consent] and I totally lost it. I turned heavily to alcohol and eventually that turned into crack and cocaine. By this time I had lost everything including my dignity as I had turned to prostitution to support my drug habit. I was arrested several times on various charges, but I was never convicted and I never served any time, I know that God was taking care of me even back then in my sin, He saw what I would be one day in Him. I give GOD all the PRAISE, HONOR AND GLORY for all that I am today and all that I will be.
The drugs and my roaming had taken me too many places but on December 20, 1990 I came across a man that told me about Jesus and how He could deliver me and make my life an example to others. I had not eaten in a couple of days and he asked me if I was hungry, so he took me to a restaurant and bought me something to eat. The entire time he shared about Jesus Christ with me. He told me Christ could and would set me free if I was willing, and how He (Jesus), would give me a new life without all the pain and turmoil I was living in. Of course being a Christian does not eliminate us from pain, trials and tribulation but with Christ in our hearts He will give us the strength to overcome and withstand even in the worst times. I began sharing my life story with this man and he still said Jesus is the answer, and boy was he right. Right there I gave my heart to the Lord and I decided to live for Him and serve Him for the rest of my life.
I began singing at the age of five, but I had destroyed my voice through drug abuse, I just abused the gifts that God had given me. So I prayed and told the Lord that if He would heal and restore my voice I would use this gift for His glory for the rest of my life. Now, God has done exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think. The songs that I sing and others that I have written they are all His I am only an instrument holding the pen. It does not matter where you are, Christ will come to you and meet you if, you are willing to let your life go and let Him be God of and in your life.
I have had so many miracles in my Christian life as I am a walking miracle myself. But one of these miracles of a physical healing really stands out to me and I would like to share this with you as well. Around 2001 I was diagnosed with an incurable bowel condition, the doctors were not really sure what it was exactly, but they had come to the conclusion that with ulcers all through my body and many in my bowel system, they said they wanted to do surgery and remove a part of my bowel. My reply was that I wanted to get prayer for this and that I believed that God was going to heal me and I would not need the surgery at all. They went ahead and scheduled me for another scope the following week, just a few days after Christmas. Then on Christmas Eve I placed a long distance call to a minister friend of mine and asked him to pray for me, he said no problem but he would need to call me back in a few minutes. While waiting for him to call back I surrounded myself with God’s word and actually knelt on the Bible to show God that I believed His word and was claiming His promise of healing. When my friend called me back I knelt on the bible said, “Pray”. When he prayed for me the fire of God hit me and went through me, I had such a peace come over me. I went over to my bed and fell asleep (now Adam was put into a deep sleep in Genesis when God removed the rib to create woman) God did the same for me as I lay there sleeping He performed surgery on me to heal my body. I slept for seventeen hours and when I woke the bleeding had stopped and so had the pain, I knew without a doubt that I was healed by the precious hand of the Great Physician. I was on about $400.00 worth of medicine a month and I went into the kitchen and threw it all in the trash. I did go back for the scope when I was scheduled and the doctors were amazed there were no ulcers anywhere and I just praised God for His healing power.
I am now an ordained minister and I love and serve God with all that I have. I know God has called me into the ministry to help others overcome and learn and grow in Him. I am also now a southern gospel singersongwriter. The Lord has blessed me and I will continue on this road He has placed me on for my desire is only to serve Him. I will travel anywhere I am invited to give my testimony or to sing or both. God is wonderful and it is to His glory that I am writing this, if one soul is reached in anyway then this is worth everything.
As far as my family and children I thought I would just share this information on my children as our family continues to grow. And this is how my relationship is now with my children and grandchildren.
My oldest daughter, Chrystina’h is married to Adam; they have three beautiful children, one boy Attisyn is 8, Charysma’h is 4 and Kaelyn is 2. They live in Ontario, Canada and I am now living in Canada very close to them and I am enjoying it very much.
My son is my middle child, Jackson he is divorced and living in Mississippi he has four children Benjamin 7, Raygen who is 5, Larissa is 3, and Rayne who is 2.
My youngest child, Karina’h is married to Josh, she two daughters Alissa 8, Jasmine 8, Alexis 7, they have a son Brayson who was born in May 2007 and we are very excited that they have a new addition Jayden born May 2009. They also live in Mississippi.
Again I cannot stress enough that this is for the glory of God that I am here and that my life is what it is today, for without Christ I am nothing, but through Him I am a joint heir with Jesus Christ. He is our Deliverer, Savior, Helper, and Healer and any problem we may have is never too great or to small for Him, we just have to take it to Him and leave it at His feet and in His care. I thank God with all my heart because I know without a doubt that His power is still healing, still saving and still delivering. He is good all the time. I have made my mistakes but His grace is sufficient. God loves us and if we truly repent and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If I can help anyone out there, please contact me with the information provided below and I will do my best to help in anyway I can. If you have questions about loved ones who may be on drugs or other addictions I will try to answer your questions, if I do not know the answer I will do my best to find the answer for you. If you have loved ones that you need prayer for I will gladly join you in agreeing for that person for the Kingdom, just email me with the information so I can be in prayer daily for you and/or your family members and/or friends. Please always remember we are human and we will make mistakes but just confess to God those mistakes and get them under the blood of Jesus as soon as possible, God still loves us and He will help us in all of our situations. He will always come down to our level and help us to reach up to His level no matter what you call out His name for; He is there and WILL HELP YOU!
GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL. I GIVE FULL PERMISSION TO ANYONE WHO CAN USE THIS TESTIMONY TO COPY IT AND GIVE IT OUT OR TO SHARE IT PUBLICALLY, BUT PLEASE GIVE ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE TO GOD. THANK YOU. I AM YOUR SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 and he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.