Are We Over- Protecting Our Children?

This post was first posted on Breakpoint.

Maybe you’ve heard that phrase “killing them with kindness”? According to some, that may be what our culture is doing to today’s college students, at least psychologically.

Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College, sees what he calls “declining student resilience.” At one major university, “emergency calls to counseling had more than doubled over the past five years. Students are increasingly seeking help for, and apparently having emotional crises over, problems of everyday life.”

Gray said that one student felt traumatized because her roommate had called her a nasty name. Two others sought counseling because they’d seen a mouse in their off-campus apartment. They called the police, who, he says, “kindly arrived and set a mousetrap for them.” The Atlantic calls this kind of thing “the coddling of the American mind.”

Many of these emotionally stunted students can’t handle a bad grade, and their professors live in fear of negative student reviews or lawsuits. Or as one director of counseling said, “There has been … a decrease in the ability of many young people to manage the everyday bumps in the road of life.”

What’s going on? Dan Jones, the past president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors, points at parents, saying, “[Students] haven’t developed skills in how to soothe themselves, because their parents have solved all their problems and removed the obstacles. They don’t seem to have as much grit as previous generations.”

In other words, there’s been way too much helicopter parenting!

Cameron Cole, a youth pastor in Alabama, knows that overly protecting our kids isn’t biblical. Pain, after all, is part of spiritual growth. “On Jesus’s way to redeeming the world he encountered betrayal, injustice, torture, violence, condemnation, imprisonment, and alienation,” Cole writes. “How deluded I am when I think an alternate path exists for my child’s ‘hoped for’ service to God’s kingdom. He will not wear the crown … unless he bears a cross.”

Too many kids take the easy path, which is the only path they’ve ever known. They’re afraid to fail so they avoid risk at all costs. But our faith teaches us risky obedience to God, knowing He’s in control.

I’m reminded of this point every time I speak with my friend Naghmeh Abedini, the wife of imprisoned pastor Saeed. Jesus said, “I’m with you always.” And let’s not forget, “Nothing shall be impossible.” So let’s share this bracing perspective with our sons and daughters, and live by it.

And let’s not forget that college students in former generations followed this God of the impossible. In 1886, Dwight L. Moody presided over a meeting of 251 college students in Massachusetts. They came from all over the country, and eventually an interest grew in foreign missions. As ChristianHistory.net reports, one of the students, Robert Wilder, organized a meeting for all of those interested in missions, and 21 young people showed up. He later wrote, “Seldom have I seen an audience under the sway of God’s Spirit as it was that night. The delegates withdrew to their rooms or went out under the great trees to wait on God for guidance.”

When the conference was over, 100 students had committed themselves to become overseas missionaries. It was the start of a movement that saw tens of thousands of people carry the gospel around the globe. Is such a passion still conceivable for us?

Yes! But the key is what I learned in my years of teaching teens and college students: Remove the bubble wrap. And like Moody, encourage them toward a God-sized vision for their lives. Help them see their giftedness and how it relates to the needs in their world, so that they can pursue their role in God’s restoration of all things under the lordship of Christ.
And as their leaders, parents, and mentors we need to give them permission to try . . . and room to fail.

Source: Breakpoint

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Clarity Makes Your Dreams Become Your Realities

When you are absolutely clear about what you want, you can then think about your goals most of the time. And the more you think about them, the faster they will materialize in your life.

The process of asking yourself questions about your goals in each part of your life begins to clarify your thinking and make you a more focused and better defined person. As Zig Ziglar says, “You move from being a wandering generality to becoming a meaningful specific.”

Most of all, you reach the point where you can determine your major definite purpose in life. This is the springboard for great achievement and extraordinary accomplishment.

Your major definite purpose will be the topic of the next chapter, and how to achieve it will be the subject of the chapters to come.

Trending: Cheta The Movie By Ada Is Finally Out!!!

She’s a Multi-award winning Christian-pop-worship singer, songwriter, ADA releases the official music video for “Cheta” The Movie.

“Cheta” is one of Ada’s hit singles from her latest project, FUTURE NOW, available on all digital platforms.

The song came out last year but the video makes it more a hit that will make your spirit lift for joy and happiness. Whatever situation you going through in life, remember God is always there watching and ready to deliver you.

The highly impressive visuals directed by Marvin Keyz features a short movie starring top Nollywood actors like; Blossom Chukwujekwu, Rachel Oniga, Helen Odigie, Jimmy Odukoya, Jennifer Oseh, Temidayo Eseigbe, Bernard Kalu and Ifeanyi Micheal Nwaiwu.

Download, Watch and Enjoy the Video Below…

Download Ada “Cheta” The Movie

Choices To Make Today That You Won’t Regret Tomorrow

1. Fighting for a career you love. You will never regret fighting for the job you really want or struggling to make it happen. It is a choice that will upgrade the quality of your life and give you a better shot at success.

2. Letting go of unrequited love. Or waiting for someone to make up their mind. You will never regret letting them go because you are paving the way for someone else to come in and you are being honest with yourself about the possibilities of being with someone who is not on the same page.

3. Apologizing to someone. You are a human being who is prone to making mistakes-a lot of them. Saying sorry to someone you care about and appreciate is the only way to redeem yourself and try to save the relationship from falling apart. You will never regret patching things up with the people who deserve it.

4. Learning something new. Whatever that may be; a new language, a new course, a new sport or a new meal, you will never regret investing time in a new skill. Learning drives us to be more productive, attentive and gives us the motivation we need to rejuvenate our lives.

5. Taking a break from social media. Unplugging is therapeutic in this ever-busy and chaotic life. Sometimes it’s really crucial for your sanity to take a break from social media and re-shift your focus and energy onto something better and more meaningful.

6. Exercising. The benefits of exercising are not just physical, they are also mental and spiritual. Taking a run or hiking can really help you feel better about yourself and inspire you to think clearly and make more coherent decisions.

7. Expanding your network. Building more relationships and expanding your social circle and your network will open new doors for you and will add value to your personal and professional life. You never know who you’ll be able to connect with and where that connection will lead.

8. Not taking life too seriously. You will not look back and remember the times you cried and the times you broke down. Don’t let pain or sadness drag on for too long. Try to look at the good in every bad and do your best to get over the disappointments quickly so you can be able to enjoy most of your life.

9. Loving yourself. With your flaws, with your quirks, with your mood swings and your eccentric habits. Be kind to yourself and try to love the different parts of you. You will never regret being your biggest fan because you know you can always count on yourself. Also, when you love yourself, you are more likely to find someone who loves you too.

10. Believing that tomorrow is a better day. You will never regret looking on the bright side, or being hopeful, or starting the day with a smile. You will never regret having a positive mentality and an optimistic outlook on life, you are more likely to achieve a positive life this way.

Kids These Days: Generation Z Most Conservative Since WWII

Around the world.

Kids These Days: Generation Z

For at least a decade, Millennials have been stereotyped as lazy, entitled, and stuck on social media. In Nigeria, our President had already tagged us to be lazy youths with no ambition. While that may not be entirely fair, they are notoriously liberal, overwhelmingly supporting left-leaning candidates and favoring policies like nationalized healthcare and same-sex “marriage.”

But Millennials are also getting old—relatively speaking. The first are now reaching the ripe old age of thirty-five! And sometime between 1995 and 2000, the millennial generation ended, or at least stopped being born, and a new generation began.

Members of “Generation Z” are now beginning to graduate high school, and 2016 was the first time any of them were old enough to vote. At seventy million and counting, they’re also about to outnumber their predecessors.

So, what’s so intriguing about this new brood? Well, according to a growing body of research, they may be, by certain measures, the most conservative generation since World War II—more than Millennials, Generation Xers and even the Baby-Boomers.

Millennials were raised in a time of roaring prosperity, when video cassettes were a bigger influence than digital technology, and many came of age before the age of radical Islamic terror. Gen Z kids, by contrast, are “digital natives.” They’ve never known life without the Internet, and have grown up surrounded by instant access to the world’s harsh realities on their smart phones.

These young people are products of conflict and recession. They can only remember a news cycle “marred by economic stress, rising student debt… and war overseas.” As a result, they’ve taken on what one team of Goldman-Sachs analysts called a “more pragmatic” and conservative outlook on the world.

Of course, generalizations at this stage are very early and very subject to development.

And get this: According to one British study conducted by global consultancy firm, The Guild, almost sixty percent of Gen Z respondents in the U.K. described their views on “same-sex marriage, transgender rights and marijuana legalization” as “conservative” or “moderate,” compared with a whopping 83% of Millennials who called themselves “quite” or “very liberal” on these issues. The Gen Z participants were even ten times more likely than Millennials to dislike tattoos and body piercings!

These are good trends, but these students still need discipleship and catechesis. A tendency toward traditional values, by itself, means nothing unless those who believe in revealed Truth, the Gospel, the natural family, and political and religious liberty step forward and train the next generation to articulate and live out these truths.

What is clear from this emerging data about the young is that they don’t fit neatly into rhetoric about the “right side of history.” As Columbia University sociologist, Musa Al-Gharbi writes, trends like this are deeply troubling for those so recently crowing that the future belonged to one political party.

No one knows what the future holds, except the One Who holds the future! And the fact that so many were apparently wrong about the right side of history is just another reminder that He alone is God, Whom the Psalmist called “faithful throughout all generations.”

Adult Is Not A Verb: Helping Young People Spread Their Wings

News around the world.

It’s been called a lot of things: “Peter Pan Syndrome” or my favorite, “failure to launch,” but whatever the term, the phenomenon is undeniable. A record number of young people today are getting stuck in the transition between childhood and adulthood.

Despite attending college in record numbers, millennials seem to struggle to move on to the next phase of life. Just a decade ago, a healthy majority of young adults were able to successfully fledge. Now, those who’ve managed to leave the nest are a minority.

Of course, the recession and a sluggish job market are factors. Millennials do have tougher career prospects than their parents did. But the economy isn’t the only explanation, and the language young people use to talk about adulthood makes that obvious.

Writing in The Wall Street Journal, Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse announced that Twitter had turned the noun “adult” into a verb. “#Adulting” is what kids post on social media to congratulate themselves for the rather ordinary feats of paying the bills, finishing the laundry, or just getting to work on time.

“I adulted!” goes the saying, as if fulfilling daily responsibilities is somehow above and beyond the call of duty. “Adulting” has become so universally recognized that the American Dialect Society nominated it for the most creative word of 2015.

But the Senator’s most important suggestion? Older generations must start investing in the lives of young adults. Summarizing relevant research in 2013, The Boston Globe reported a staggering statistic: Only a quarter of Americans 60 and older had discussed anything important with anyone under 36 in the previous six months! Exclude relatives and that figure dropped to a mortifying 6 percent. How alien this would have sounded to the Apostle Paul, who in Titus 2 urges older men and older women to teach the younger.

Only by connecting and investing in their lives can we reasonably expect our kids, our grandkids, and their peers to understand that “adult” is not something you do. It’s someone you are.

Dealing with Grief and Finding Hope

Nobody wants to die but want to go to heaven.
Death is inevitable. But death─ sudden or expected─ always brings sorrow and grief to the ones who are left behind. However, life still marches on. It is hard, but we must remember that as humans we have an immense ability to cope with anything that life brings. Although we all have different levels of coping abilities, there are several basic and universal steps to dealing with grief and finding hope again…

Allow The Feelings To Flow: Losing someone you love will conjure all unimaginable emotions within you, sorrow, regret, guilt, pain, grief, heartbreaks, misery, anger, sadness and many more. Feeling these emotions all at once can be extremely difficult. It is quite normal, so let them flow. You do not need to suppress them. Cry all you want. With time and allowing grief to be released, it will become less painful. It is an important process that will help you in dealing with grief and accepting your loss.

Talk About It When You Can: Talking about the death of your loved ones can be a way of remembering them and can help you understand what happened. It will give you the opportunity to start the healing process. Denying the death of a loved one can result in isolation and you pushing away your family and friends.

Find A Support System: Coping with a loved one’s death is never easy; especially if you are dealing with it alone. You need support coming from your family and friends so that you can find comfort and overcome grief faster. Moreover, while your family and friends can be your greatest source of support for overcoming the death of someone, but it is also advisable that you take advice from professional people when you find all the emotions and pain too hard to handle. Psychologists give professional advice and develop strategies according to your needs to get you through the grieving process.

Understand The Grieving Process: Dealing with grief and bereavement is a process. It is quite important to allow yourself to experience every stage of the grieving process for you to completely heal. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief in her book titled “On Death and Dying.” These stages are not necessarily experienced in order and some stages can be revisited. These five stages are:

  • Denial: Dealing with death can be overwhelming. It is an incomprehensible experience and you can find it hard to believe that your loved one is gone. You continue to deny that it is not happening and there is no way that your loved one left you.
  • Anger: As you realize the reality of your situation you begin to feel angry. Your anger or fury might be directed to your loved one for leaving you, to the doctors for not doing their job and healing your loved one, to God who took your loved one or even to yourself for maybe not being a better person to your loved one. All of this is quite normal and will pass.
  • Bargaining: It is quite common for an individual to start bargaining or negotiating with a higher power, like God. Do not be surprised or think that you are crazy when you start making deals with God like: “I will be better, just please give him back to me.”
  • Depression: The sorrow and overwhelming sadness you feel after the death of a loved one is normal. It is common to feel that your life will never be the same again. This feeling does not last forever and will pass with time.
  • Acceptance: This stage does not necessarily mean that you accept or come to terms that your loved one is already dead. It does not mean that if you are already at this stage, you will not revisit the other stages above. But rather, it means that the pain and grief of losing someone you love will reduce and become more manageable.

Celebrate Life: You need to mourn the death of your loved ones, but there comes a time when you need to turn from the mourning toward a new stage, of celebrating life again. Understanding that death is inevitable and that we will all die someday will give you an opportunity to live your life to the fullest. Remember that your life does not stop when someone you love passes away. Ask yourself this: “Would he or she be happy seeing me like this forever because they passed?” Cry as much as you need to, but know that your family and friends are still there for you, ready to walk forward and to live life fully with you now. Celebrate the fact that you are living.

Preserve Precious Memories: Someone so special to you might be gone but their memories stay. Keep all photographs, things he or she gave you, or create a memorial like planting a tree to remember your loved one. This will help you keep all the memories you shared together and overcome your loss.

Final Thoughts: It always feels so unfair when someone you love passes away, but that does not mean you have to stop living. God created us, human beings, to be strong and to survive anything. So, grieve as much as you need to, and remember you will be able to stand up and smile again. After all, your loved ones may not have stayed with you, but the memories you have with them will forever stay in your heart.

I can testify to each and every point stated here. I don’t know about you but if you have anyone facing the difficulty of not passing through grief and lack hope. Please share this with them.

Have a blessed day!!!

By: Brian Zeng

    Positive Thinking Versus Positive Knowing

    Many people today talk about the importance of “positive thinking.” Positive thinking is important, But It is not enough. Left undetected and uncontrolled, positive thinking can quickly degenerate into positive wishing and positive hoping.

    Instead of serving as an energy force for inspiration and higher achievement, positive thinking can become little.more than a generally cheerful attitude towards life and whatever happens to you, positive or negative.

    To be focused and effective in goal attainment, positive thinking must translate into “Positive knowing.” You must absolutely know and believe in the depths of your being that you are going to be successful at achieving a particular goal. You must proceed completely without doubt. You must be so resolute and determined, so convinced of you ultimate success, that nothing can stop you.

    The Inherent Meditation Of Creativity

    Being creative is as innate to being human as eating, talking, walking and thinking is. It has always been a process we naturally prioritize; our ancestors somehow found time to carve their images and stories on cave walls. But we’ve mistakenly grown to regard it as some form of luxury – you’re lucky if you have the means to express yourself.

    In reality, it is a manner of education, communication, and ultimately, self-introspection, and we are in constant manifestation of it. The mediums have shifted from rock particles to pixels, but we can all still see that there is something inherently human about wanting to imprint, impress, craft, mold, form, paint, write and otherwise mold something abstract into that which is conceivable to someone else.

    Unsurprisingly then, it seems that the most effective creative process is one that follows the art of meditation, mindfulness, intuition, non-resistance, non-judgement, etc.

    I did not begin writing because it was something I liked. It was how I figured my way out of pain. It didn’t take too long to realize that I didn’t want to spend my life creating or exacerbating problems only to think and feel my way out for the sake of a job. I wanted to be able to write and create just because. Just because I’m alive and breathing and can.

    I had to learn that my expression did not need to be justified – it is valid because I am a valid human being, the same as you, and everybody else.

    But in the meantime, I tried all the classic writing routines of the greats, the promised formulas for consistent, rhythmic creation. I tried to be structured, did anything to induce “flow,” intentionally probed at the deep dark untouched corners of myself, was routine even when I didn’t want to be, and found every bit of it to be dead-ended.

    I was trying to create structure where structured need not be placed. It did little more than make the process stagnate.

    The reason being, mostly, that we do not ebb and flow in and out of creation. It is an unseen constant, from the clothes we choose to the sentences we say to the way we arrange our desks at work.

    It comes down to imagining writing (or painting, or singing, or whatever it is you do) as coming as naturally as breathing does: it’s an effortless process, it draws upon what is outside you and transforms it as it goes through you, and it is tensed, stressed, ebbed and made more difficult when we consciously try to do it.

    In fact, anything creative tends to be most hampered by end goals. It is almost imperative that you are completely mindful of the moment, creating from a place of simply allowing whatever is going through you to flow out.

    Because when you have a pre-prescribed path in mind, it means you are trying to align with somebody else’s. It means that the inspiration you have found is you creating your own version of somebody’s something else that made you tick and flow.

    You’ll seldom be inspired by work that is coming from a core truth, and that’s because it shows you something about yourself. Not just something, the truest truth – that’s what makes the process so god damn unbearable.

    And that’s why we reach for structure, that’s what makes us stopper the process. That’s why we want inspiration and validation and external support.

    In the true essence of real zen, the most creativity can be fostered when you learn to do so without passing judgment: similar to how observing your thoughts and feelings objectively are the path to peace as well.

    Some of what you write down you’ll want to share, or make consumable. Some you won’t. That’s okay too. It’s imperative to realize that even the greatest artists weren’t consistently prolific, especially not publicly. But considering that “inactivity” a lack, loss or failure is just attaching another ego-meaning to it all.

    You cannot quantify your creativity, and though it is an extension and impression and expression of yourself, it does not define you.

    You are free to keep the sacredness of your most inner self only within your own existence. The more you can express that, and live that, without judgment, and in the moment, the more you’ll feel free to be honest, and open up to yourself. The more you feel comfortable with that core self, the more you’ll feel able to create from a peaceful place. Just because. Whenever you want.

    Practice Makes Permanent

    Good to be back!

    You can begin the process of developing courage and eliminating fear by engaging in actions consistent with the behaviours of courage and self- confidence. Anything that you practice over and over eventually becomes a new habit. You develop courage by behaving courageously whenever courage is called for.

    Here are some of the activities you can practice to develop the habit of courage. The first and perhaps most important kind of courage is the courage to begin, to launch, to step out in faith. This is the courage to try something new or different, to move out of your comfort zone with no guarantee of success.

    Trending Music: E Money Anthem By Lil Dizzie

    This is a sponsored post.

    Nigerian born Afropop Award winner and multiple nominee “LIL DIZZIE” who have been having numerous collaborations with Zimbabwe and South Africa is back this year with a new song anthem “E MONEY” which he dedicates to the Nigerian rich mogul and CEO of 5 StarMusic “EMEKA OKONKWO” who is generally known as “E MONEY” and also the brother to Nigerian Afropop singer “KCEE”. This is the definition of “Creativity” as Lil Dizzie goes on with his lyrics with E-Money’s own slogans via his social media platforms. E-Money with a total of a Million followers on Instagram while following just 9 people also motivated the young champ to also give shoutouts to these Nine followers which included his wife and brother as well.

    If you think you can’t dance, this song will make you move your feet and bump your head.

    This is a top notch that is already viral online and also air plays. The lyrics of the song is addictive as it’s also a way of motivating other song writers in the industry. Enjoy

    Download E Money Anthem

    Also you can Stream – https://soundcloud.com/iamlildizzie/e-money-e-money-anthem

    Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/iamlildizzie
    Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/iamlildizzie
    Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/iamlildizzie
    Soundcloud – http://www.soundcloud.com/iamlildizzie
    YouTube – https://youtu.be/2dckDYLs2uk

    Repost: 30 Beautiful Moments In Your Life That You Will Never Forget

    By: Rania Naim

    1. The moment you faced a longtime fear. There is no greater feeling than doing what you were most afraid of and getting through it.

    2. The moment you aced a difficult test. And that awesome feeling you get that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

    3. The moment you started driving without supervision and played your favorite music the whole way.

    4. The moment you got your first salary and how you felt that hard work truly pays off.

    5. The moment you made a new friend knowing that you will be friends forever.

    6. The moment your crush told you they liked you and how you couldn’t stop smiling.

    7. The moment you land in your favorite country and how it breathes new life into you.

    8. The moment you rest your head on the pillow after a productive day at work and how it’s bringing you one step close to your goal.

    9. The moment your favorite team wins the championship and the euphoria that follows.

    10. The moment you hold the baby of someone close to you, and how innocent and soft you become in that moment.

    11. The moment you stand up for yourself after being quiet and patient for so long.

    12. The moment you get what you’ve been praying for and realizing that the world is not so bad after all.

    13. The moment you realize how loved you are by those around you and how supportive they are.

    14. The moment that your pet welcomes you home every day as if you are the best thing that ever happened to them.

    15. The moment after you’ve had a special conversation with a special someone and immediately feel the growing bond between both of you.

    16. The moment you made someone smile after having a terrible day.

    17. The moment you let go of someone or something that was holding you back and the liberation that came with it.

    18. The moment you make your family happy; whether by being a good student, a good person or just being there for them when they need you.

    19. The moment your friends do something sweet for you and remind you of how much they love you.

    20. The moment you successfully complete a mission: losing weight, being more focused, being more positive…etc.

    21. The moment you are done reading a good book and the inspiration you find in its words.

    22. The moment you prove someone who doubted you wrong and the confidence you gain from it. Learning to believe in yourself more often.

    23. The moment you master one of the hard yoga poses and the strength you feel after.

    24. The moment you decide to be a little bit kinder to yourself and start slowly loving yourself with your imperfections.

    25. The moment you receive a heart-felt thank you for touching someone’s life.

    26. The moment your favorite song comes on when you have been waiting to hear it all day.

    27. The moment you run into an old friend or an acquaintance unexpectedly.

    28. The moment you go to the beach after a long time and the serenity you feel from the sound of the waves and the beauty of the sky.

    29. The moment you finally understand why something happened to you and finally solving that riddle.

    30. The moment of silence when you can truly enjoy your own presence and be grateful for the gift of living no matter how hard or easy your life seems to be.

    Should Young Christians Rush to Get Married?

    True or False?

    Am not into relationship or marriage writing, but this caught my attention and needed to be shared.

    For young adult Christians who have grown up believing that sex outside of marriage is wrong, it can be understandable that they might rush to the altar with the person they feel so strongly in love with. It’s no shock to anyone that young people are flooded with feelings and desires that lead them to wanting to be physical with whoever they are attracted to, and when sex is known as a sin unless it’s with a spouse, the rush to get a ring on that finger makes sense.

    With a culture that so readily promotes the “happily ever after” path and seems obsessed with the latest pop culture couplings, marriages, divorces, and drama in between, it’s not surprising that many young people would view marriage as the ultimate destination and goal in relationships. Even in the church, marriage is often lauded as the best thing, the highest achievement, the greatest gift, and it can lead young people to feeling like they have to get to that point quickly for their lives, their relationships, and their presence in that community to really matter and have value.

    Ethan Renoe recently wrote an article for Relevant asking “ Should So Many Christians Push to Get Married Young? ” and he zeroes in on one famous Bible passage about singleness and marriage: 1 Corinthians 7 . This passage has been often debated, and it raises some important (although controversial) questions.

    In verse 8 of that chapter, Paul writes, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.”
    This is a very different stance than what our culture and our churches tend to promote. “But what if Paul was telling the truth?” Renoe asks. “What if it really is better for us to remain single instead of diving headfirst into marriage?”
    Wouldn’t that be something?

    It’s a helpful and healthy question to ask ourselves, though. As a single woman in her mid-twenties, it’s one I find myself pondering often. The expectation seems to be that I will get meet the man of my dreams someday and then get married shortly thereafter… but I’m not so sure that’s what’s meant for me. I’m definitely in no hurry to get there if that is what the Lord has in store, that’s for sure. As I see more and more friends getting married (even friends quite a few years younger than me, which feels strange), I return to this question, wondering if marriage is really the ultimate good thing we should be striving for, or if Paul was right in encouraging singleness instead.

    For the Christians (young or old) who pursue marriage as a way to justify their physical and sexual desires, it seems clear that the focus is misplaced. “As Christians,” Renoe explains, “our primary calling in life is not to gratify our sexual desires first and foremost. It is to glorify God, enjoy Him forever, and bring others into this sphere of blessedness. For this reason, I’ve come to see many of the young marriages of Christians as more of a detriment to the work of the church than a blessing.”

    He goes on to say, “what I mean by that is, if we really believe that Jesus, not sex, is the source of our satisfaction, it should affect the way we live our lives. It means perhaps we would spend years of our lives giving to the world in sacrificial and beneficial ways before settling down with our sweetheart to raise children rather than diving into marriage for the wrong reasons.”

    Now, this does assume that sex and a desire for physical intimacy is the driving force behind young couples getting married, which isn’t always the case. But he does make a good point that the Lord has great opportunities in store for us in our twenties and thirties when we free ourselves to follow his leading and serve him with our lives, unencumbered by such a serious relationship commitment. It’s not that the desires for intimacy go away, but instead that those who choose to embrace singleness instead redirecting those desires toward Jesus and the work he has for us instead.

    We can pursue intimacy in other ways — in our prayer life with the Lord, in our Bible studies and conversations with close friends, in sharing our stories vulnerably with one another, and with sharing common interests and bonding with others around us.

    While there have admittedly been times or seasons of my life where I have felt the absence of a meaningful relationship or longed for a husband, there have been many more times where I have been grateful for the freedom that comes with singleness, especially when it comes to service opportunities and ministry work in my church and community.

    “We have become blinded by a culture that teaches that the truest source of satisfaction is sex, so it makes sense that many of us would marry young for a taste of that ecstasy,” Renoe writes.

    What if we saw our lives instead as something so much greater? What if we saw our singleness as a chance to truly give ourselves to others? What if we saw our free time as a gift from the Lord allowing us to serve the people around us and expand the Kingdom? What if we reprioritized our desires and what is important to us, putting satisfaction in Christ above all else?

    Like Renoe concludes, there is no hurry for us to get married. There are so many opportunities before us in the seasons we are in now, and there is so much goodness to be found in a life wholly committed to serving the Lord and others. Pursue him first and foremost, and discover that he, better than any other, can and will fulfill every desire of your heart, no matter your relationship status. The rings can wait.

    Credit: Christian Headline

    YF2018 Union: The Countdown Has Started!!!

    So guys am getting married in the next 5 days…

    I owe every single moment of my relationship with my beautiful bride to be to God Almighty. For good 3 years we have been together, in good times and bad times. The trial period and the harvest period. She stood by me all along and supported me when I was broken, broke, and lost. I give every to God for putting me through your path as we journey this life together my Queen.

    More photos below..

    YF 2018

    My Beautiful Queen

    What more can I ask for???

    You have made me the happiest man on earth.

    My Humble self

    Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favour from the Lord”.

    About to start a new phase in my life #Happy

    The only thing I can use to repay you for all your love, care, support, and prayers is to make you my better half and partner for life. To make you my wife and mother of my kids. Thank you for stealing the keys to my heart as we exchange our vows November 3rd, 2018.